A little piece of heaven – chapter two

Esme PoV

The pain had been excruciating, more than what I remembered from when I must've hit the rocky ground. I recall thinking I was in hell, being punished for my sins, for committing suicide. It sure felt like hell was meant to; my skin felt on fire, every part of me did. I was too afraid to move or open my eyes in case I disintegrated into a pile of ash.

"Oh Esme…Esme" I heard a muffled whispering from beside me and my eyes flashed open, no longer afraid of what might be.

I saw his face, and though it was almost impossible to focus on anything but the searing pain, like rat poison in my veins, I was confused. He must be the devil himself, the one inflicting this pain on me. It was his fault, surely?

This devil though, could not be so. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid my eyes upon; but this was not a first encounter. Hazy thoughts flashed through my mind. Dr. Cullen. I had a crush on him when I was 16 years old. His eyes met mine and they reflected the pain I felt burning me from the inside out.

With that, another surge of pain hit me like a train and I screamed out in agony, my body contorting around on the bed I was strapped to. I threw myself from side to side, snarling, biting, clawing, and screeching. My eyes rolled back in my head. Every part of my body was on fire, but there were no flames, no smoke, and no sign that my pain was even real. Was I insane? Had they brought me to an insane asylum when I'd tried to kill myself?

No. It was too real. I felt the sudden sensation of someone stroking my hand gently; Dr. Cullen was bent over in his chair, next to my prison of a bed, his head down, resting on the side of the metal framework. He looked in as much agony as I probably did. Either way, I didn't care. I dug my nails into his hand so hard I was utterly shocked to see that firstly he did not move his hand instantly and cry out in pain, and that secondly, I did not draw blood.

It held no significance; I could only concentrate on the pain. I kept scratching, clawing like a feral animal. Thoughts came and went, but I had no inclination of time. There was no concept of how long this had lasted or how long it would continue. The pain surged through me, I felt my heart in my chest, so loud it sounded like it was trying to burst out through my ears. I was engulfed in a ball of invisible flames, they clawed like demons from my burning throat, down my arms, over my heart, all the way down to my toes.

Carlisle never moved from my side. I wondered why; was he such a sadistic, revolting monster that he enjoyed watching this? My thoughts were so jumbled, I only caught a few brief seconds every now and then of clarity, where I could perhaps focus slightly on something other than the incessant, flesh-ripping pain that was burning holes in me. My eyes darted to the Dr., still crouched over in the same position as before, still holding my hand despite the pain I must have inflicted on him…and it all clicked into place.

He was not the devil. Not evil or sadistic, he certainly did not enjoy this. He was trying to help, trying to console me, I didn't know why. But at that point my thoughts were interrupted with another surge of unimaginable pain. It kept up like this for what seemed like eternity; I had stopped trying to fling myself around off the bed, and tried very hard to stop screaming at the top of my lungs. I had realised it did not help: no matter how loud I screamed, nothing eased. So I gave up, laying there motionless, except for my body's quivers and twitches when a fresh wave of pain assaulted me.

This hurt more than anything I can describe, there are no words to adequately explain the sheer terror and agony convulsing through my body, taking me over. It started to ease though, very gradually. First my fingertips stopped burning, then my toes, but the inferno in my throat and heart only grew worse, perhaps it was spreading.

Though I knew I should be weak, frail and unable to even keep my eyes open, I felt the pain empower me. I clawed holes in the flimsy sheet covering the bed, tearing shreds of it up in my hands, letting them fall all around me.

Then the pain transformed again. I didn't think it could possibly get any worse, but it did. I was unaware of pain anywhere other than my heart, although I suspect it was probably still attacking me everywhere. I felt as though someone had shoved their hand through my chest, ripped out my heart and tore it into a million pieces. I screamed out loud, my back arching, spasms travelling down my spine giving me the first cool feeling in what felt like an eternity.

My scream shocked me a little bit; I had made no sound except for little whimpers here and there for a long time. Obviously it shocked Dr. Cullen aswel, his frantic hands dashed around over my body, searching for somewhere to place them to help me; I saw the desperation to help me in his eyes, in his every movement. I was glad he was there. Glad I wasn't alone.

"Esme, it'll all be over soon, very soon…I promise. The pain will be gone, I promise, I promise…Esme…Esme…I promise…" The Doctor's voice trailed in and out of my ears, I blacked out then regained consciousness over and over again. I wondered why I hadn't passed out from the pain before, but with that, everything went peacefully dark, the only thing I could feel was the ripping of my heart. If I had thought it had broken before, I was wrong. Now I knew what it felt like.

It stopped. As quickly as it started, everything stopped. My eyes shot open.