Disclaimer; I do not own the characters or anything to do with Harry Potter. I just love this pairing.
It wasn't the first time George found himself dangerously standing on the ledge of Hogwarts castle. Ever since the last battle it was like an unknown force brought him there whenever he was thinking. Well, to be fair, he only ends up there when he thinks about Fred. He couldn't understand how everyone could celebrate when there were so many that would never be there to cheer, laugh, and smile with them.
Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, George shifted from one foot to the other and contemplated what would happen if he tipped forward a little, just enough to throw his balance off and send him to his certain death.
Mum would absolutely break about a hundred laws bringing him back just to kill him herself. And if that didn't work…he didn't even want to imagine how even more shattered she would be. Dad would try to remain strong for the family, again. Bill would be comforted by Fleur most likely. Charlie, well that was a tough one. Charlie would probably be the one screaming at his broken body demanding a reason why. Percy would blame himself. Ron would have Hermione to turn to. And Ginny would lock herself up in a room and not come out until they dragged her out.
Great, this is all just bloody wonderful. George inwardly groaned. He would just be causing them more pain.
Sighing he stared out at the horizon trying to find more reasons for not killing himself. Nothing else came to mind except his family…and maybe what Fred would do to him if he found out he went and offed himself.
So here George found himself, stuck. He couldn't kill himself, but he couldn't live either, not waking up everyday and facing the mirror in the bathroom. Or any other mirror. It was like the universe was messing with him. Forcing him to feel that deep throb in his chest any time he caught a glimpse of his own reflection.
It was a week ago that the throbbing began, and it's been a day since the end of all the burials for those who fell in the castle that day. And quite frankly George was tired, plain and simple.
A light breeze brushed against his back as if encouraging him to just jump and finally have some sort of rest. But like the other times in the past week George found himself unable to. So instead he stood there imagining jumping. Not having to worry about pretending he was fine, giving strained smiles, and hollow laughs just to please others. Because inside, inside he couldn't function properly. He felt like he was a shell, or a fake, of who he use to be.
But maybe I don't have to be a shell anymore, it's the best plan so far. He thought gazing thoughtfully at the ground below. And maybe he didn't have to be stuck anymore.
They'll be fine, everyone will be fine one day…but I doubt I'll ever be fine again. Making up his mind and nodding to himself, he decided. He wouldn't worry about his family right now. Gathering up as much courage he had left he prepared himself for the immense pain he was about to endure before he'll be able to get his peace. But once again stopped and frowned. It didn't feel right. Nothing about what he was trying to do felt right at all. At a complete loss of direction he waited for a sign, or signal, or anything to help him understand what to do.
So deep in trying to figure out what to do he didn't notice someone walking up behind him until a small hand slid into his, scaring him to almost piss himself. Whipping his head around he found himself staring at the side profile of Luna Lovegood. She was standing on the ledge next to him staring out at nothing with her usual carefree smile.
Speechless and again at a loss he just stared. Luna's eyes glanced over at him and became focused as she tipped her head in a nod in his direction before speaking.
"So are we going to do this or not?" came the calm words, as if she weren't talking about ending her own life.
"What are you doing here?" was the first thing to come out of his mouth in his stupor. Luna grinned a bit wryly for a second.
"Same as you I suppose. I don't think you noticed much but you come here the same time everyday. And I figured if you're going to do this, well I wouldn't want to be alone, so I guess you wouldn't want to either." She turned to look at George with that sincere expression on her face.
He was dumbfounded for a bit, she didn't once say a word about nonexistent creatures or talk in circles. Even though George didn't know her that well, but every time he recalled hearing her speak, it was in riddles and clues, and always mentioning nargles of some sort. So hearing the clear words he knew within him that she was more than serious. But still it made no sense for her to do this, she hasn't lost anybody, she isn't missing half of herself, so why? So as she stared straight into his eyes he was confused.
"Why?" he whispered out, but she heard the question.
"Because," she paused before smiling sadly, "in the end it doesn't matter if we die young or old, we still die. If you want to leave now, well I'll come to make sure you find your way to where you're going."
"But you still have people here who care about you! You have family and friends and you're too young to die now." George burst out, surprising himself with how angry he was that she was willing to just give her life away. Luna had a knowing look on her face as she nodded her head.
"You do realize what you've said applies to you too." at those words he found himself at a crossroad of agreeing and arguing in his head.
"It'd be terribly awful for both of us to throw our lives away when we could do so much good yet. Did you think that maybe we didn't die for a reason? When I was locked in that dungeon, death would've been a relief, but now I'm glad I didn't give up. If you try giving living a chance then maybe someday you'll look back on this and be glad too." she continued before smiling again.
"I know you're hurting worse than I could imagine, and I guess you'd rather not talk about it at this time…but once you decide to talk about it after the wounds start to heal…it feels a lot better than this." she gestured at the ledge they were both standing on.
"So I guess what I'm trying to say is just give the wound a little time to heal, and if you still want to do this then I'll be right here with you." she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and waited for him to make the next move. Thinking it over George couldn't argue with anything she said and stared at her hard.
"Promise?" he asked uncertainly.
"Promise." was the calm answer of her support.
George nodded and stepped carefully backward off the edge, with her hand still in his grasp holding onto it like a lifeline now. Luna still on the ledge smiled gently.
"Just take peace in knowing we're not permanent here." before hopping down and turning to face him. George managed to crack a small, but true, smile before leaning down and kissing her forehead and whispering a thanks.
And as he walked back into the walls of the castle, he felt the throbbing slowly going down, and the emptiness fill up a tiny bit. And he felt right with this outcome, walking back to his family with her small hand in his larger one. As the ledge got farther and farther out of his sight he knew that he wouldn't ever feel the need to be back there…
As long as he had Luna with him to hold his hand.