A/N: Ok, so I guess not much happens in this chapter, but I felt that some things needed addressing. Esme just couldn't help telling you about what she's feeling :P

Please review. I know you guys are reading...and what I really don't understand, is people that add this story to their favourites or alerts...but never review. Reviews really do inspire me and give me ideas for upcoming chapters, so I wish you'd all just drop by and say a few things.

A big thanks to Lia-finn, you really don't know how much your comments help and delight me :)

Esme PoV

We had gone searching for Edward that first night he failed to return. After Carlisle's apology he admitted that he was too wrapped up in his own feelings of guilt to properly address the issue. He had said that he'd stuck his head in the sand and wished for everything to be ok. It was the first time I'd seen Carlisle act insecure and restless and I knew that it was probably the first time he'd ever allowed anyone to see him in that way for a very long time.

After the first few hours of frantically searching through the surrounding forests for even a glimpse of his scent, I became terrified. I didn't mean to voice my fears, Carlisle was stressed enough. But I just couldn't help myself, everything was building up inside and I needed release.

"Where is he Carlisle? What is he doing?" I almost became hysterical.

This sudden change in circumstances and atmosphere affected me greatly, though Carlisle already warned me it would. Vampires do not adjust well to change, he had commented.

As we pressed on throughout the night my mind began to wander again, but this time I allowed it. Carlisle had been silent for a long while, focusing on the task in hand I assumed. I began to think how strange it was that I called Edward my son, our son. I had always called him it, after the first few days. It didn't seem strange at the time, just the natural thing to do. But now I wondered what had made me call him that; did I feel like we were a ready-made family from the start?

Calling Edward our son made a fraction of me a bit giddy. From the beginning I had referred to myself as a Mother and Carlisle as a Father; had I assumed we would always end up together? I remember seeing his face, elated, when we first hunted.

He had practically shone with pride and happiness when I took down an Elk, and chuckled to himself lightly when I growled ferociously at Edward when he got too close. Of course, I apologised profoundly, but the boys just laughed and assured me it was completely normal. Edward had talked to me in depth about what to expect and how he handled certain things. It really did help having another vampire who had been a new-born very recently around. Carlisle did his best and he was very supportive, but it had been so long since he was this age that he felt that Edward was much better at explaining things. He also told me that when he had been transformed he felt so disgusted with himself for so long that his bearing on being a new-born was probably different to my scale and perspective of things.

Carlisle set up special training days to help me with controlling my strength, speed, hunger and teaching me how to act like a human. Apparently the latter was barely necessary. Carlisle commented in amazement how much humanity I had brought with me to this life. I found it natural to move around, fidget, change my posture and to breathe. They both said that new-borns often forgot to breathe or act normally, so I was fairly proud of myself for at least not having that added complication.

Things got a little more complicated when it came to feeding; I was constantly thirsty. Carlisle had said that this was normal, but that he was taking me to hunt more often than he had with Edward in the first few months. However, he commented that as long as I was comfortable and satisfied, then it didn't matter how many times we hunted, just as long as everyone was safe.

Carlisle took a lot of time questioning me about how I felt, what I was feeling and how I thought about all the things new to me. One day we were sitting in his office and he took out a brown notebook. He began to write my words down intently, almost as soon as they left my mouth. He had written similar things concerning Edwards first few months. For research and reference purposes he assured me. Carlisle was fascinated with me; he explained that he had spent very little time with female new-borns, though he did have female vampire friends. I was the first new-born woman he had ever spent any considerable time with; he always apologised for treating me like a test-subject, but I never really minded too much.

I looked over to Carlisle and wondered if this was the beginning of something incredible, though I already knew the answer deep down. He had informed me early on that when changes in a vampire's life happened, then it was usually for the long-term. I hoped this was not the exception to the rule.

My eyes studied this perfect being to the right of me. He had been the first vampire he knew of to ever consider living on anything other than humans; he made the change. Carlisle made the first step towards humanity and morals for Vampires. Others followed, that's how he came to know the Denali clan, he had helped them set up their vegetarianism, encouraging them and re-assuring them if they ever slipped up.

How did he have so much patience? Carlisle was the most compassionate, caring, honest and trusting creature I had ever had the honour of meeting. I was in complete awe of him. I wondered why he of all people would ever be interested in me, but still he gazed into my eyes, searching but not pushing. I felt that after I opened up to him about Charles and Joseph, we began a new frontier to our relationship as friends. He was my mate, I knew it. Now that we had come together and shared such a perfect moment, I didn't think it was possible to ever move backwards. The fact he knew about my past almost as well as I did, and still wanted me, gave me goose bumps.

A strand of Carlisle's blonde hair fell in front of his perfectly sculptured face as we came to a stand-still at the edge of the forest. His brow furrowed and I could tell he was in deep concentration. He wandered around intently, sniffing the air, the trees, looking for any clues or things to point towards Edward's presence here. He circled around the clearing, only moving about fifty yards away from me at any given time, and all I could do was stare. My eyes watched enthusiastically with a sense of longing as he inspected the area fully. I felt as though I was grounded to the spot, as if I would be content just stood observing him for the rest of my eternity. Then another part of me screamed to touch him, that I needed him.

As quickly as I had thought the words, I was stood directly in front of him. My chest heaved un-necessarily, panting from the shock of the movement; I swear I hadn't told my legs to move. He smiled kindly and reached for my hand.

"I'm sorry Esme. I don't mean to neglect you, I just…" His voice trailed off as he shook his head in frustration. "I need to find Edward. I'm worried as to where he is now. He's taken off running once or twice before for some time alone, but he's never been gone this long." Carlisle looked defeated as he mumbled the words.

I didn't know what to say, so instead I gently wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. Without a thought my fingers began to run circles through his silky hair and I felt my breathing hitch once again at the foreign feeling of intimacy. No-one had ever been this gentle and open with me.

I pulled back slightly to look into his gorgeous, sparkling eyes, but still kept my hold around his neck.

"We'll find him, I'm sure. Don't worry. We've got forever to look for him." I whispered, uncertain as to whether I was re-assuring myself or Carlisle.

Carlisle PoV

Esme's tight hold on my neck was making it difficult for me to concentrate. I knew I should be enjoying this new development fully, I should be re-assuring her, making my Esme feel comfortable and paying her attention. But at the same time I should be obsessed with finding my son and making sure he was safe. My mind was trying to focus on both parts; but it was impossible to be elated at the returned feelings from Esme and to be concerned and sick with worry over Edward both at the same time. I was stuck in between, which meant that my mood and focus was shifting every few minutes. I was having problems keeping up.

"I think we should break up" Esme calmly stated.

WHAT?! My mind practically leaped out of my ears in protest.

We hadn't even discussed our relationship so how could she be breaking up with me? I thought she said…

Then I took a rational look at the situation and Esme's face; she was scowling slightly, probably in confusion as to why I appeared as though I'd just had a heart attack. I almost burst out laughing at myself. She clearly meant for us to separate to look for Edward. I was absolutely foolish. The excitement and new feelings were doing things to my brain, I suddenly felt like the most ridiculous Vampire in the world.

"Well, I don't really want to leave you Esme. That could prove to be dangerous." I added, trying my best to sound like a rational, sane man. She was doing strange things to me.

"I thought I could go back home just in case Edward decided to come back and look for us there. That way you can keep looking for him out here without worrying about not being in two places at once. Also, that way it's surely much safer for any humans we might come across?" She tilted her head in concern to stare at me. "Carlisle, are you ok?" She enquired sceptically.

Wow. Esme was clearly going to wear the pants in this relationship. I liked that idea. I often underestimated her intelligence and capacity simply because she was a new-born. I would definitely have to stop that.

"Yes, I'm fine" I lied. "Brilliant idea. I was just a little taken aback with your plotting skills" I smiled. "I'll run home with you and then take off to the North instead, seen as there isn't any trace of him here" I sighed and the heartache returned.

What was he doing? I really hoped that he'd come to his senses and return home. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that didn't believe so. From the way Edward was talking after he killed Charles, it seemed as though he might be gone for a long time. I never imagined that my son would become the complete opposite of everything I strived to perfect.

But it wasn't Edward's fault. He was still very young in relation to me, and who was I to impose my beliefs on him anyway? Though I might disapprove, this was Edward's life, he could do whatever he wanted. Perhaps I'd been too strict on him and he'd had enough. Maybe this was his way of rebelling. I should've made it clearer that he was not obliged to think exactly like me. That I might not be happy about it if he chose to change his diet, but I'd always love him and care about his safety.

All I wanted was for him to come home safe. I know it sounds preposterous because it's so very difficult to kill a Vampire, but the possibilities ran through my mind too fast for me to dwell on an individual one for too long. I hoped he hadn't killed any other humans, but I couldn't smell him anywhere near the house or the forest we'd explored already.

I'd have to go back to Esme's old house and start out there. His scent wouldn't be very strong any longer, but it was my best shot.

Esme's PoV

I'd practically had to shove Carlisle out of the door in order to get him to go. He spent at least fifteen minutes talking about how he didn't want to leave me, what I should do if anything happened and how I shouldn't move from the house. Then he spent an additional five minutes apologising for treating me like a child and telling me what to do and what not to do. His sincerity really did make me smile.

As soon as he was gone I went to the one room in the house that I adored but got to spend very little time in. Carlisle's office. I lazily ran my hand over his dark oak desk, tracing my fingers into the small scratches and creases in the wood. I sat in his old wooden chair, allowing my head to loll back, closing my eyes and actually being still for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I could smell his scent so strongly that it made my head buzz. I missed him already and it had only been a few minutes since he'd sprinted off, turning his head back twice to steal another glance at me. I realised that since I had been changed the longest amount of time I'd ever spent away from him was when I waited for him to speak to Edward in my old house. We had moved to another house that Carlisle already owned further north in Ohio practically as soon as I was changed. We were almost on the border of Michigan; consequently, it was close to where I used to live with Charles, which had made it even more difficult to hide my feelings from Carlisle and Edward.

Carlisle had given up work to look after me, as Edward wasn't old enough yet to be looking after me as well as himself. Even though he'd only been unemployed for a very short time, I knew it was getting to Carlisle. He constantly put others first, his passion was to help as many people as possible. Carlisle was sure that he did not have a special talent like Edward or some other Vampires, but I disagreed. Being completely selfless was a very special gift in my opinion.

The study was completely spotless, everything had its own special place. Carlisle was almost as obsessed of cleanliness and tidiness as me, almost. On the left hand side of the room, stood a wall-length bookcase that Edward made. All the books were categorised and then placed alphabetically, although Carlisle would be able to find anything, even in an unfamiliar room, within two seconds. I drummed my fingers against the side of the chair.

I'm not sure why the thought occurred to me, but I made my way slowly, practicing my human speed, to Edward's room. The rush of emotion hit me as soon as I opened the door and stepped inside. I curled myself up on his bed, taking the shirt he had left laid out and holding it to my face. I tearlessly sobbed for hours into the only thing I had left of him.

Carlisle PoV

I'd been following his scent for two and a half hours. I'd managed to follow it directly from Charles' house. I was no tracker, but I was so familiar with Edward's scent that it didn't prove as difficult as I expected. At first Edward just seemed to run, his trail was erratic and he clearly had no planned route or destination. But then he changed direction to a nearby town. My mind buzzed in terror as I tried to hold on the small piece of hope I still had left. I kept waiting for the trail to take another direction, displaying when he must've come to his senses and turned back away from this settlement. It didn't.

His scent was all over the alleyway. As was the smell of dry blood that surrounded the area. There was only one streak of blood that ran from shoulder height straight down to the ground. Although I desperately didn't want to believe so; this was Edward's work. The frenzy had began and I knew now that I would not stop until I found him. I had seen this happen many times to Vampires who had attempted our diet, but then relapsed.

The only thing that shocked me was the lack of a body.

A/N: Be nice. This was a fairly quick update for me. Review, or I'll throw a hissy fit =D