Charlie's Starr – Gratitude for a Dragon
Totally off on a wander through insaneville here. Bear with me. Please. Some swearing.
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Romania
Charlie whirled around as he heard the tell tale pop of apparition in his cabin, his face wreathed in smiles as he saw Starr.
"What are you doing here?" he asked resting his hands on her hips and looking at her, his delight changed to concern as he saw the strained look on Starr's face "What is it?"
"Charlie you need to come home, now" she said "It's Ginny"
Charlie felt a band tighten around his heart as she spoke "Ginny? What's happened?"
"It's happening now Charlie, you need to come now" she pleaded
"Starr, you are scaring me, please, what?"
"Charlie just come home, now!" she almost shouted. Arthur had asked her to come for Charlie. She had agreed immediately, the rest of the family couldn't leave Ginny, not at the moment. Even though her heart was breaking too.
"Ok, ok" he said running a hand through his red hair, too long for his mother's tastes. Starr shook herself realising that Molly had so much more to worry about "I'll just tell the guys…" he didn't get to finish his sentence as she grabbed him, side along apparating him.
When his feet touched ground again, he had expected to be at the Burrow. He looked around, realising that he was St Mungo's hospital. The band on his heart got tighter.
"Starr!" he exclaimed roughly "What the fuck is going on?"
"Charlie" she whispered, her gaze drifting towards the door next to them, Charlie looked through the window and his breath caught in his chest as he caught sight of many gathered Weasley's, Harry and Hermione.
He made to burst into the room, but she stopped him "Charlie, you need to know what happened" she said softly
"Well?" he demanded, his eyes boring into hers
"Ginny was called to a fight in the Hogshead, two wizards fighting over a witch, as an auror she and her partner Scotty attended" her voice trembled "She tried to break it up with Scotty, the wizard Scotty was restraining broke free and fired a curse at the other, it hit the mirror over the bar and bounced, straight onto Ginny" she could not stop the tears forming "It was the killing curse Charlie" she grabbed for him as his knees buckled "The mirror had taken some of the force out of it but…"
"She's dead?" he whispered through white lips.
"Not yet" the tears were breaking free now as she replied "The mirror absorbed some of the curse, but it still hit Ginny, she's not got much time left, it's killing her slowly"
"Shit" he said, running a hand through his hair again "Can I? I mean am I allowed in?"
"Of course" Starr put her hand on his arm "She's been asking for you"
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The Burrow
Starr felt utterly helpless as, in turn, the gathered mourners tried to offer their condolences to the broken Weasley family. Harry sat in the corner where he always sat, usually with Ginny on his lap. He stared into space, he had hardly spoken since Ginny had died, the only person he seemed to respond to was Molly.
She stepped outside, she heard voices, one of them she knew was Charlie's, she rounded the corner to see Ron engulfed in his brother's arms, Ron was crying hard, Charlie's face was still the same mask that it had been the moment Ginny had stopped breathing.
He had functioned, day to day, throwing himself into comforting his parents and his brothers. He had organised the funeral with Bill and Fleur. Harry, Molly and Arthur had been unable to face it.
She had watched as one at a time each member of the family had sought comfort with Charlie. He had held Molly as she wailed and walked endless miles with Arthur.
He had sat up all night with Bill when he had rolled into the Burrow so drunk he could not see. He had sat between the twins surrounded by photo's, listening as they talked and cried. And when Percy had awoken the night before the funeral crying, he had lay next to him and comforted his younger brother. He had even held her as she sobbed over Ginny's loss, she had tried to hide from him, feeling she had no right to grieve compared to the family. But he had found her and opened his arms. And now he held Ron as he cried out the loss of his sister.
But he hadn't broken himself. The light had gone from his eyes, but he had not cried, not grieved. She had wondered if the day of the funeral may bring it, but he had held them together by sheer force of will as the brothers carried their sister to her final resting place. He had gripped Starr's hand almost painfully as the coffin was placed into the ground, but not broken. She worried that he wouldn't. That he would hold it all inside and it would destroy him.
Ginny had known that Charlie would take this role Starr now realised, the role of protector. She thought about the words that she had spoken when she had seen Charlie.
"I love you Charlie" Ginny had said "You are the best big brother a girl could wish for, you all are" she looked at them all from her pillow "Where is Starr?"
"I'm here" Starr had moved forward "Right here"
Ginny had taken Starr's hand and placed it over Charlie's, placing her own over both of theirs. Looking at Charlie she had smiled "I'll be there you know, when you finally get around to marrying her" turning to Starr she had smiled again, but weaker, a shadow clouding her features momentarily as pain coursed through her weakened body "Look after my big bro Starr" she had pleaded "He is not as tough as he looks, he needs someone too"
She had died in Harry's arms a few short moments later, smiling softly.
She watched as he comforted Ron, she had no idea how she could help him release his grief.
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Romania – 2 months later.
Charlie sat with his head in his hands, he couldn't let it in. If he did he was so scared it would take over. He had to be strong for the others, they needed him. He knew he had been unfair on Starr, taking his frustration out on her. She had watched him, he had felt it. Felt claustrophobic because of it. He knew it wasn't her fault. She hadn't pushed him, hadn't done anything wrong. If truth be told, he thought to himself, he was pushing her away, as he was his mother.
Growing up in a house full of boys, the women in his life were precious. Losing Ginny had left him empty. He had taken for granted she would always be there, as he had with his mother and Starr. And now Ginny was gone, just like that. If her bright light could be snuffed out then so could theirs. He did what his instincts dictated; he pushed them away so if they met the same fate, it wouldn't hurt like this. He realised that it made no sense, but he didn't know what else to do. He had returned to Romania two days after Ginny's funeral. No one understood, but no one had berated him as he expected.
He jumped as there was a soft pop, and looking up he saw Starr. He quickly squashed down the feelings of relief, love and need that he felt, letting anger replace them.
"Can't I have five minutes peace? I only left half an hour ago" he demanded, getting up and striding to the window, running his hands through his hair, a habit when he was agitated.
"Charlie you forgot …" she didn't get the sentence finished before he turned on her.
"Don't you fucking get it?" he shouted at her "I wanted to be away from you! You watch me all the time! I can feel your eyes on me, full of pity and sorrow"
"Charlie…" Starr stammered
"But oh no, you can't take it can you?" his voice had dropped but somehow it hurt more "You suffocate me Starr, you never leave me alone. I can't breathe. You are always two steps behind me, watching my every move, I can't take any more" he couldn't look at her and see the pain he was causing, he was aware that what he said was untrue but he carried on, feeling his heart break a little more "I don't want to be with you anymore, I can't. You have stifled the love I had for you" somehow blaming her made it better "I don't love you anymore, you aren't the woman I fell in love with any longer, you are needy and clingy. Anyone would think that it was your sister that had died!" his voice had risen again as he said the last words, he felt hot tears on his cheeks as he slumped into the chair; his hands covered his face, hiding the tears.
Starr may have reacted differently had she noticed the tears, but she didn't. She dropped the book she was carrying at his feet; it was his ledger that he needed to continue his work. He had forgotten it when he left.
"You bastard" she whispered "You really didn't need to bring Ginny into it; I know she wasn't my sister, but that doesn't mean I didn't love her too. I have watched you, yes, I love you. But I have never been clingy and needy. I've tried to let you deal with it as you want, and be there should you need me" she realised she was crying "But big hard Charlie Weasley, just getting on with it. And now you are intent on pushing me away, well screw you, this time I'm going, you can get on with it" she apparated away.
"Starr!" he called distraught, but it was too late, she was gone.
Charlie stood and gave vent to the pent up anger and frustration, he totalled the cabin. Smashing his fists into the walls, destroying everything he could lay his hands on. He kicked at the furniture, reducing it to matchsticks. He raged around the small rooms, smashing paintings as their inhabitants ran for cover. Finally he stopped, slumping against the bed that was now leaning drunkenly, missing a leg. He picked up a photo of the family that had stood on the bedside table. It was smashed but he looked at it. Running his fingers over Starr and Ginny's faces. He lay down, hugging the picture to him.
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In her anger and confusion, Starr had only managed to apparate into the forest that surrounded the sanctuary. She looked around in puzzlement, and then started to walk. As she came across a clearing she realised she was being watched. Turning slowly she saw a chain link fence and a pair of Dragons eyes staring at her. It snorted a few times before bowing its head slightly. She had no idea why, but she felt drawn to the creature. She moved closer as it watched her. It sniffed deeply, bowing its head further, she was no expert, but to her it looked like an invitation.
She stood at the fence; the dragon merely returned her gaze calmly. She knew that she would be incinerated if the monster before her decided to breathe fire, but somehow, she knew it wouldn't. She read the singed plate that was attached to the fence:
Name Charlie's Starr
Sex Female
DOB 22/09/2003
Breed Hungarian Horntail
Keeper Charles Weasley
Vital stats 2, 5 tonnes. Fire breathing achieved 27ft.
Starr stared at the dragon; it had been born before they had got together, when she had still been just a regular visitor to the Burrow as Percy's best friend. Back in the days when she thought her fantasies about Charlie would remain just that.
"Well, as namesakes go, you are pretty intimidating" she said to the dragon "So you are the other woman in his life then? Hope you can make him happier than I did. I seem to have destroyed us" a sob caught in her throat, and still the dragon remained impassive "Look after him for me, for Ginny, she asked me to, but he doesn't want me anymore. I love him so much it hurts. It was killing me to see him like that, all the life knocked out of him. I didn't know what to do, I still don't. I just want to turn and run all the way back and hold him. But I can't hear those words again" once she had started pouring her heart out to the massive beast before her, she found it very hard to stop.
The dragon appeared to listen to every word; the only movement was a slow blink now and again. Starr hadn't realised it was dark until the dragon lifted her beautiful head sharply and snorted again, lowering her head and appearing to purr. Starr looked confused and then froze as she heard a voice behind her, the voice was tight with restrained anger but held level to prevent startling the dragon.
"Starr, walk slowly backwards" Charlie commanded "Keep your eyes on hers and move slowly away, now"
Charlie's heart had stopped a few beats when he had seen Starr standing so close to his favourite dragon. She appeared to be talking to her and the dragon appeared passive and amenable. He had hatched her from an egg, and she had been weak. He had nursed her day and night until she grew strong. She was devoted to him, as tame as any dragon ever could be. Even so she had given him a few nasty burns and gouges. And now Starr was standing close enough to be obliterated if she turned.
"Keep going" he commanded, he wasn't sure if he was angry that she had been so stupid or amazed that the dragon had tolerated her presence. He knew that he was terrified. Even he was within range if the dragon decided to breathe fire. Starr reached him and he gripped her arm tightly, making her gasp.
"Move slowly" he said, pulling her gently backwards. Starr noticed that they were back in the trees a few feet. Charlie whirled her around to face him.
"Do you know why there are no trees in a thirty foot radius of her enclosure?" he demanded, not waiting for an answer "Because she burned them! All of them, reduced to ash!"
""But she's beautiful" Starr whispered
"You stupid bloody woman!" he ground out "Have you been there since you left my cabin?"
She nodded, great she thought, here comes round two.
"Have you ANY idea the kind of danger you have put yourself in?" his eyes blazed in the dark "She could have turned at any minute and killed you!"
"Like you'd care!" she hissed back, anger rising again.
"Of course I care!" he shot back "You think I need to lose someone else I love? I went after you, I went home, to my mum's, to Percy's. I couldn't find you, so I came here to see her"
"What did you come after me for?" she said bitterly "I got the message first time round, loud and clear!"
"Don't be so childish!" he countered "I came to apologise, to explain"
"Explain?" her tears were pouring again "You said that you didn't love me anymore, what needs explaining?"
"I didn't mean it Starr!" his voice was strained "Losing Ginny, it tore me to pieces"
"So you decided to tear me to pieces too?" she sobbed "I only brought your ledger, and you broke my heart"
"Don't" he said, his voice heavy with emotion "Don't say that, don't cry like that, I can't stand it"
"You should have thought of that before you broke up with me. It did break my heart Charlie. You broke it into little pieces, and I was just telling your stupid dragon about it, don't ask me why. But she listened to me, she just looked and listened" she flinched as he reached a hand out; he let it drop to his side before it made contact.
"Please Starr, I love you, I know I've been pig headed and stupid, and taken it all out on you" he ran his hand through his hair, as he turned she could see his eyes were hollow and haunted in the moonlight "But I don't want us to end, not like this, no" he paused "I don't want it to end at all, I need you" his voice broke and through the silence she could hear the dragon snort softly, followed by sobs, which she realised were her own.
Charlie looked at his favourite dragon, she stared back at him. She had not moved a muscle. She bowed her head lower than she ever had before. He knew that it was a sign of friendship between dragons. She had bowed to him before but never that low. It was then he realised that Starr was also facing her, and it was her the dragon had bowed to, not him. With astonishment he saw the dragon twist her neck to the side and lay her head on the ground; he felt the rumble of her purr through the ground and the air. This was a submission tactic used by dragons to show that they were passive and happy in the company of others.
"Starr!" he said urgently "She's submitted to you! I've never seen a dragon do that before!" in his excitement he put his arms around Starr's waist, pulling her against him so her back rested on his chest. Starr could feel the heat of exhilaration radiate from him, she didn't move for a moment. She had longed for a spark of the old Charlie since Ginny's death. Slowly she turned to face him, he stroked her face, and she could see the smile on his face as he looked at her.
"Please, Starr, I love you and I can't lose you. I have been such a Pratt, but I'm hoping that you knew that already and are willing to forgive what I said. I understand that you are angry with me, but let me make it up to you"
She stood on tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips "It hurts that you shut me out Charlie, but I know that you were hurting and if you say you didn't mean those things then, well, we can try and move on. Grieve for Ginny and move on together"
It was then he cried, burying his face in her hair, crying with loss for Ginny, relief that Starr had forgiven him, pain at the pain he had caused. And gratitude to a dragon.