December 24th, 2007.
Dr. Cullen had me call my school and tell them that I would be out for the rest of the year. He even faxed them a doctors note. Since I was eighteen I was able to do this without parental permission. I had been "living" here for over a month now, and I was really starting to miss school, my friends, and my home. If I were home right now I would be with Alice, helping her family get ready for Christmas. But instead, I am here. Making Dr. Cullen his dinner.
In the last month we had both moved into the spare bed room on the first floor. He demanded that we share a bed. I have not been out of the house since I have arrived. I have been wearing his shirts as my clothing. We have food and supplies delivered here, but I am always to stay in 'our' bed room when they are delivered.
Dr. Cullen had softened his attitude towards me, but he still had his moments. His head wound had healed since I had gotten here and he had taken his cast off and is now wearing a splint. I still don't know the whole story, and I didn't ask. When he was ready he would tell me.
Being Christmas eve, he allowed me to roam around the house a little on my own. He made us dinner, but warned me before hand that I would not be receiving any gifts. When he finished making dinner, he called me down and like every other night we ate in silence. Not a word was said. As soon as he finished the last bite he went into the living room to read, I suppose. I did the dishes with out a complaint, much unlike if I were in my own home, I still like to have my child moments once and a while. When I finished, I silently came into the living room and sat opposite of Dr. Cullen. We sat together for about five minutes until he ordered me to get up and put water in the Jacuzzi. I did as I was told, not questioning him. I filled it with steaming hot water just as he liked it. He came in a few minutes later, naked. He had towels in his hand, as in two. I was getting nervous.
"Strip." he said gruffly.
I didn't hesitate. I have never been completely naked in front of any one before. In the last month that we had been together he had been nothing but a gentlemen in the sex department, he had not laid a hand on me in that way. Now, all the sudden, he was forcing me to strip in front of him. It didn't take much to undress, since I was only wearing his shirt.
I felt vulnerable standing in front of him with no clothing on. I was embarrassed that he was looking at me the way his was.
"Get in." he ordered. As if he were controlling me, my feet moved and stepped in the steaming water. My whole body plummeted in the hot water. Before I could say anything more, he was in the tub with me, behind me. My back against his chest. His hands were on me. Everywhere. I was tense and nervous. He pretended not to notice. His hands just roamed every inch of my body. I tried to get away. But he was strong and the look in his eye was almost demonic. Roaming hands eventually went to something more. His movements were forceful, the water began cloud a pinkish red color with my blood.
Not only had this man taken my life away from me, he has now also taken my virginity. When he 'finished' he got out of the tub and ordered me to clean up. Again I did as I was told. As I was cleaning I was looking for ways to take myself out of this situation. But as if he were reading my mind he came into the bathroom, he watched. Watched while I was sitting on the floor, my body throbbing in the most painful way. My brain was no longer thinking thoughts and my heart was no longer feeling. I felt dirty. I would never for the rest of my days, take a bath.
I would no longer feel safe in my skin. I no longer have the comfort of myself. I couldn't bare to look at him, I could barely even stand to stay in the same room as him. Although he still forced me to sleep with him in the same bed, I no longer slept.
Thanks for reading!
Kayla
P.s. I am so sorry this took so long. I hope to have more up tomorrow.