The Uchiha's

Me: Tell them Sasuke.

Sasuke: Hn

Me: SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!

Sasuke: smirks Yeah right

Me: Well I could kill you in this story or have Sakura kill you. How would you like that?

Sasuke: gulps She doesn't own Naruto.

Me: See? Now wasn't really that hard?

Sasuke: Hn

A/N: Itachi and Kakashi may be OOC.

Planning? More like Stalking

Imagine this is the twilight zone where that introductor guy is talking so weirdly I guess.

"We see our favorite cherry blossom kunoichi leaving her apartment in her usual attire. She walks to a nearby market with a mysterious bag full of um uh Line please!"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"WHAT THE HELL? Ok then if that's the line. She walks to a nearby market with a mysterious bag full of WHAT THE HELL? Wait a minute that doesn't make sense."

"Kaka-sensei, what are you doing?"

"Well what do you think it looks like Naruto?"

"……."

"That's what I thought. Ok then Itachi let's continue."

"Hai!"

"What are you three doing?"

"That's what I just asked Kakashi-sensei. But I don't think you would want to know Sasuke." Sasuke looks at the scene. His brother holding a camera, Kakashi wearing a mic near his mouth with a weird black suit on and Naruto just standing there looking confused.

"I probably don't."

"So Teme, Have you decided what to do to win back Sakura?"

"Well I-" Sasuke was cut off by Kakashi doing his Twilight Zone imitation.

"While we see our favorite kunoichi shopping, Sai comes by and apparently offers to help. Ahh and now we see Sasuke's face turning a deep red from anger or jealously who knows. Let's find out. Itachi move the camera to Sasuke." Itachi did as told.

"Come on little brother. Smile for the camera! Make Nii-chan happy." Sasuke came up to Itachi, grabbed the camera and broke it with his bare hands.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO? WERE YOU DROPPED ON YOUR HEADS WHEN YOU WERE BABIES?" Both Kakashi and Itachi started to tear up.

"YES WE WERE! AND EVERYONE WAS SO KIND ENOUGH TO NOT MENTION IT BEFORE!" They both went to corner and started to cry.

"Um Teme."

"Yeah yeah yeah I know dobe." Sasuke then walks up to Itachi and Kakashi.

"Gomen Onii-chan, Kakashi-sensei." Itachi then tackled his brother in a bone crushing hug.

"Awww, Sasu-chan look so adorable when you apologize."

"………"

"Did you two get high or drunk or something?"

"Yes we did Naruto. Now come on let's go. Sakura is moving."

"WHAT? SAKURA-CHAN IS MOVING? WHERE? HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME?"

"Shut up dobe. He means Sakura started to walk."

"Oh."

It is such a beautiful day outside. Our favorite kunoichi decided to take a walk outside after buying some groceries.

"Hmmm, I wonder what is doing. May be I'll stop by Hinata's to come up with a battle plan."

"Battle Plan?"

"squeak! Sai! Where did you come from?"

"Well you see Sakura. When a man and a woman really love each other-"

"I know that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Forget it.'

"Ok. Need help?"

"Sure." Sakura said while handing the grocery bags to Sai to hold.

"So this about a battle plan?"

"Well you know that Hinata likes Naruo right?"

"How can I not? That girl blushes, faints and stutters whenever she nears him."

"I know right?! And Naruto is such a knucklehead he can't even see it."

"So this battle plan is for Naruto to fall in love with Hinata?"

"Yep and if it doesn't work, I'll make him."

"Hm. Good plan. I'm in."

"Thanks! We need a male perspective besides Neji, Kiba and especially Lee."

"The youthful idiot?"

"Yep." At the mention of his name Lee comes out out of no where.

"HELLO MY CHERRY BLOSSOM! ARE YOU FEELING YOUTHFUL TODAY? HOW ABOUT YOU SAI-SAN? ISN'T TODAY SUCH A BEAUTIFUL YOUTHFUL

DAY? AHHH I WONDER WHAT GAI-SENSEI IS DOING? I WONDER IF HE'S DOING SOMETHING YOUTHFUL. I SHALL AS WELL. YOSH! TIME TO RUN 500000 LAPS AROUND KONOHA. CARE TO JOIN THE YOUTHFULNESS SAI-SAN?"

"Uh no?'

"YOSH! SEE YOU YOUTHFUL PEOPLE LATER. MAY YOUTH BE WITH YOU!" With that said the fuzzy brows, green spandex suit wearing, Gai imitator guy left.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"Who knows Sai."

"Just wondering. Did you just sense Kakashi, Itachi, Dickless and Sasuke's chakra signatures?"

"Yeah. I just think it's best to ignore it."

"Hey Sakura. Want to trick them?"

"What do you mea ahh ok sure. I get it." They then started walking together.

Sai and Sakura started to lead Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi and Itachi into a secluded area where there was no way for them to escape Sakura's wrath. They then walked into an abandoned cottage.

"Shall we began Sakura?"

"Yep." Then all of a sudden they both started to moan very loudly to make sure their "stalkers" were listening.

With the stalkers

"Kaka-sensei, why did both Sakura and Sai walk into that abandon cottage?" Just when Kakashi was about to answer, Naruto's suspicion was confirmed.

"Ahhh Sai! Faster! Harder! Oh yeah! Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Oh Sakura!!! Oh your so tight arg Ahhhhhh!" All four skilled shinobi fell down the branch head first from the shock of Sakura and Sai having sex. Then Sasuke got up and started to walk fast to the cottage. Fuming with anger and not caring if they were having sex. Then the other 3 started to run after Sasuke.

"Teme! Don't! Come back!" Sasuke then kicked down the door and walked in. Naruto then came in followed by Itachi and Kakashi.

"Why is it so dark?" SLAM!!! Naruto jumped from the sudden sound that broke the weird silence.

"Well well well. Look who showed up Sai."

"Yep. I see. Our plan worked." Sai said standing near the door so that neither of the 4 shinobi could escape.

"What plan?" Kakashi asked

"Our plan to lure you 4 here so that Sakura can give you a beating for following her like a bunch of stalkers." Sai said simply. "It was my idea."

"Ana a good one at that. Now let us begin." Said Sakura before channeling chakra to her fists and starting to beat the crap out of her teammates and Itachi excluding Sai. Sai just stood there watching while eating popcorn.

"AHHHH SAKURA-CHAN!!!!! GOMENASI!!!!! ITE!!!"

In Konoha

"So Shika-kun what do you want to do today?"

"Hn. Watch the clouds peacefully."

"HMPH! You never want to do something exciting."

"Watching clouds is exciting."

"Lazy ass."

"Troublesome women." Before Ino could let her anger burst out.

"AHHHH SAKURA-CHAN!!!!! GOMENASI!!!!! ITE!!!"

"Did you hear that Shika-kun?"

"Yep. Poor Naruto. At this rate he'll probably won't be able to become Hokage."

"Probably. I wonder what he did."

"Hn."

"You've been hanging out too much with Neji Shika."

"Hn." Shikamaru said with a smirk plastered on his face.

The End

Me: Sorry if this chapter made think if I was crazy or something. You're probably thinking "WTF?" but oh well. I apologize. I still don't know how Sasuke will win Sakura. Please if you have any ideas, let me know.

Sasuke: Why?

Me: Do you want Sakura or not?

Sasuke: Hn

Itachi: Sasuke……. What did I say?

Sasuke: Fine. I want Sakura!

Me: Finally he spills it out. Did you hear that Sakura?

Sakura: Huh? Oh sorry I was watching my favorite soap opera.

Sasuke: sigh

Sakura: What's wrong Sasuke-kun?

Sasuke: blushes and hides face Nothing

Sakura: oh ok. Makes sad face. I give her a hug. Sasuke gets pissed and walks out

Wait! Sasuke-kun!

Itachi: Please review or I'll murder your whole family.

Me: Um Itachi.

Itachi: Yeah?

Me: gulps with fear Nevermind. Whispers Please review. Don't worry Itachi won't murder your family.

Itachi: Yes I will glares at me and you

Me: screams Please don't hurt me runs away with fear

Itachi: Why does everyone run away from me?

Kakashi: Don't worry Itachi. I'm here for ya.

Itachi: Thank you Kakashi.

Gai: KAKASHI! MY ETERNAL RIVAL! TIME TO SETTLE THE SCOR---- HEY DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! Runs after Kakashi