Chapter Six: Missing

"Well when you see Sho next perhaps you could pass on a message to him for us?"

Son winced as Yi-Che dabbed at the gash above his right eye with a piece of cloth. She was being as gentle as she could be but still it stung and Son gritted his teeth against the pain that flared up and shot down the side of his face. Upon waking, the first thing that he had done was to call Toshi and warn him. The other man hadn't seemed surprised, although he had been reluctant to tell Son anything. It was probably for the best. Chan's men had given him quite a beating and he hadn't known anything. Had he have known Sho and the other's whereabouts then he could only suppose that worse would have been in store for him, and Yi-Che, too.

Although she hid it behind a façade of concern, Son knew that the men's presence had terrified his sister, having been subjected to a vicious rape by thugs from the same gang, and Son had felt more than a flash of anger at Sho and the others for putting them in this situation.

Of course, that was why they had left without a word, Son reminded himself, to protect the two of them. Toshi had not said where they were but Son could tell that he was very afraid, even though they had Kei with them. Kei was more than a match for Chan and his gang, but lately… Son would have had to be blind not to see that the vampire was sickening, both in body and spirit. Kei had become despondent and brooding, even more so than usual. Both Sho and Kei had tried to hide this but Kei's weakness had become more apparent, especially that night at the beach. Son doubted whether Kei was in a fit state to protect anyone now and this gave him more than a little concern. If Kei couldn't protect them then Sho and the others were as good as dead. No matter how skilled at fighting Sho was he couldn't hope to hold off all the men that Chan had at his disposal.

What had they done to incur Chan's wrath so dramatically? Again, Toshi had been cagey and Son had been reluctant to ask. It couldn't have been the jobs for surely Chan would have come after Son and Yi-Che, too? Something else had happened and Son knew that he wouldn't be able to rest until he found out what it was. He had to help them somehow but Yi-Che had been insistent that he allowed her to tend to his wounds first. She had even wanted him to go to a hospital but Son had refused. He had plenty of Taiwanese contacts that secretly hated Chan and if he could put in a call to one of them then he might be able to get Sho some help. As it was his friends were almost helpless. Their only hope would be to get out of the city and even this would be difficult for Chan was not stupid and would realise this, too.

Finally, as the minutes went by, Son was unable to bear it anymore. Gently brushing Yi-Che's hand away he managed to convince her to allow him to make a quick call. He had to find out what was going on at least and only then could he try to help his friends.

"Shinji's gone,"

"Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"He's left. He's going to try his luck on his own."

"He'll be killed! Chan's men are all over the city, that's why dumping the car took me so long. I have to take several detours on my way back here. When did he leave?"

"A few minutes ago."

"I'm going to look for him. Stay here with Kei. I'll call you when I've found him."

Toshi always liked to think of himself as very laid back and therefore he did not allow himself to get angry or show anger that often but right now he was furious. He left the apartment hideout before Sho could stop him and before he could let his anger be known. Toshi was not as ignorant as Sho and Shinji sometimes thought he was. He knew full well that there was a lot of unsaid hostility between the brothers and he also knew that Kei was the cause of this conflict. He also knew that Sho's feelings for Kei ran deeper than just friendship. This didn't upset or disgust Toshi in slightest. In fact he felt kind of sad for the both of them for Kei would never quite be human, not matter how hard he tried to appear so.

This current situation was Shinji's fault if anything. Sho had just been trying to protect his brother and Toshi knew that he would have done the same had their roles been reversed. He wasn't angry with Sho for that but the fact that Sho had just let Shinji leave. No matter how many harsh words were spoken, Sho should not have let Shinji go off like that. Not only was he putting himself in great danger but them all if he was caught.

Toshi had never been that close to Shinji but, before Kei came into their lives, Shinji had looked after both him and Sho, and Toshi saw him as an older brother of sorts. Toshi knew the dangers but he would never forgive himself if he just let Shinji leave without at least trying to find him.

As it was he had been searching the streets for forty minutes now and there was still no sign of him.

Toshi tried to keep his head down as he walked, keeping mainly to the busy streets and hoping that the commuters would keep him hidden. There were many different languages being spoken around him and each time he heard a Chinese male's voice it instantly put Toshi on edge. So Toshi allowed his mind to wander, choosing instead to focus on what had happened between Sho and Shinji on this occasion.

Toshi had arrived back too late to hear any of the conversation but he could hazard a guess that they had been fighting again. Tempers were frayed as it was and both the brothers were of a similar temperament so a clash was almost inevitable, but Sho had looked very upset and Toshi was regretting his haste to leave the apartment lest Sho decide to do something stupid.

Kei was there, Toshi reminded himself and Kei wouldn't let anything happen to Sho.

He can't feed

The younger man shivered at the recollection of those words. He didn't understand what they meant and it was clear that Sho didn't either. One thing, however, Toshi was certain, was that Kei's lack of feeding would be the undoing of them all.

Toshi sighed to himself, feeling almost overwhelmed by the frustration of it all. Kei had no qualms with shooting those guys but when it came to feeding he suddenly couldn't bring himself to do it. Toshi did not understand this at all. Of course, drinking a person's blood was completely different, Toshi reminded himself. For people, the concept was inhuman and he supposed Kei's mindset was still partly that of a persons too. A great deal of humanity still resided inside of Kei and Toshi occasionally wondered if that was the greater curse that the vampire suffered.

He had become so lost in his thoughts that Toshi suddenly realised that he had wandered away from the crowded areas. Cursing himself for such a stupid move, Toshi hurriedly started to move away from the distinctly Taiwanese looking district when a familiar figure caught his eye.

Shinji was doing his best to keep to the crowded areas, too, but wearing his brightly coloured shirt he looked almost painfully conspicuous. Much to Toshi's horror, he could tell that Shinji was still furiously angry and, from the stumbling in his walk, either drunk or high. People were moving away from him, obviously trying to give him a wide birth and Toshi knew it was only a matter of time before he was found.

Pushing his way forward, much to Toshi's relief, he quickly made it to Shinji's side. Dismayed, he realised that his friend was very much out of it and Toshi hurriedly wrapped an arm over Shinji's shoulders to steady him whilst his free hand snatched up the empty bottle of Sake that Shinji was carrying.

"How much have you had?" Toshi demanded angrily whilst trying to steer him back into the crowded main street.

"Just a few…" Shinji mumbled, evidently annoyed with Toshi for some reason.

"Why? What the hell are you playing at? You could have got us all killed!"

"There's no point… no point in anything anymore…" Shinji stumbled again, almost taking Toshi down with him this time. "Might as well get wasted before they find us. Maybe it won't hurt as much if…" Shinji trailed off as Toshi cut in with:

"You're an idiot, you know that, Shinji? Now come on. I'm going to take you back to the apartment. Hopefully there you can sober up enough before we have to leave."

"No!" Shinji all but snarled out and pulled himself away from Toshi with more force than either of them realised he possessed in his current state. Off-balanced, Toshi fell back into one of the market stools that had been set up on the side of the street. The seller shouted out angrily as baskets and goods went flying and Toshi apologised hurriedly in Chinese as he assisted her in retrieving the things that had fallen.

This could only have taken him a few minutes at the most but when Toshi turned back round he was dismayed to find that Shinji had gone.

Chan had always thought of himself as a reserved man. That he could remain calm and seemingly cold hearted no matter what the situation but as he sat at his son's bedside, he was finding it increasingly hard to retain that reputation that had earned him the fear and respect of most of Mallepa's resident population.

He had been at the hospital all night and now well into the day.

When Chan had first heard what had happened it had left him feeling cold inside. He had issued the necessary orders; that those responsible be found and that he would deal with them personally. It had been a routine collection from one of the Japanese users, or so Chan had been told, but Xiong must have let his guard down.

For Chan, family deaths were something he had learned to deal with but this was worse for he only had two sons.

Xiong had known the dangers but had wanted to prove himself and thus Chan had entrusted that side of things to him. Xiong had a wife and she was carrying his child. Chan's own wife was comforting her now whilst her husband only spoke of revenge.

The bullet that had struck his son had not been a fatal one but Chan wished dearly that this had been the case. The surgeons were the best that money could buy in Mallepa and had worked all night on removing the bullet that had been lodged in Xiong's spine but it had shattered on impact. Xiong, even if he made a full recovery, would never walk again.

It almost seemed surreal to Chan, this waiting and this hoping. He didn't even know what he hoped for anymore. Whether it was for his son to die or for a miracle to take place. However, one thing Chan did know for certain was that those responsible would suffer for it and he intended to make their punishment drag out for as long and as agonisingly as possible so that they begged for death. Only that would come close to the pain that Chan knew Xiong would have to deal with for the rest of his life.

"The truth's hard to hear isn't it? Well let me tell you something else. Do you think I haven't noticed the way you look at him? It's very obvious that you're in love with him and that sickens me. I'm leaving and you can't stop me. In fact, I don't want anything more to do with either of you. Ever."

Sho paused outside of the bedroom door, his hand poised to knock but he just couldn't bring himself to, not with Shinji's venomous words still at the forefront of his mind. It had been nearly an hour since Toshi left and Sho was starting to worry. To make matters worse, his friend wasn't answering his phone and Sho was fast becoming convinced that something had happened to him.

To run from a fight was not something that Sho was used to at all and the fact that this was one occasion where he couldn't storm to the rescue frustrated and frightened him.

He wished that Kei would pull himself together enough to help but the vampire hadn't come out of his room. Sho knew how guilty Kei must feel having come so close to feeding from his only real friend and Sho also knew that he had to make Kei understand that it didn't bother him, that he would have gladly given Kei his blood if it meant that the vampire would cease in his self-starvation. Yet such serious words between them were not often spoken and so Sho found it incredibly difficult to know where to start.

As it turned out, he didn't have to. Just as he was about to force himself to knock on the door it opened. They both looked taken aback to be face to face with the other but Kei hid it well and slipped passed Sho and went into the small kitchen.

Following the vampire, Sho saw that Kei was leaning back against the counter. His mind appeared to be elsewhere and Sho wasn't sure how to begin the conversation. Never before had he felt so awkward and unsure around the only person whom he usually felt confident enough to be himself around and Sho didn't like it at all. He supposed that it was the events of before and the fact that Shinji had voiced the feelings that Sho had for Kei out aloud. Had Kei heard this? Sho hoped not. He hadn't had many girlfriends in the past and none that he really cared about. Toshi had, had a few and even had his heart trampled on. Sho had seen how cut up his friend had been and if Kei did the same to Sho, he knew that he would never get over it.

These feelings were such that he couldn't bring himself to voice and when he finally found it within himself to part them, he could already feel Kei's arms moving up to around his shoulders and then a soft hand entangling itself in his braids, whilst the other laid flat against the side of his neck, feeling the pulse there.

"Kei?" The name almost died on his lips when he saw the expression on the vampire's face. It was the look that Sho had only seen a couple of times before; the reverence that Kei portrayed right before a feed.

Shivering, Sho moved further into the kitchen and finally started the conversation with: "How're you feeling now?"

"Better, thanks" this was a lie but Sho did not press the issue.

"Nii-chan's gone," Sho said next, unsure of how much of the conversation Kei had heard. "Toshi's gone to look for him," he added when this brought about little response.

"How long ago was this?"

"Nearly an hour," Sho admitted uncomfortably. "I tried calling him," he added as an after thought.

"When he comes back, you need to leave," Kei said to this.

"Leave?" Sho repeated, casting a glance out of the window as he did so. "Kei, it's still light outside."

"I'm not coming with you."

"Is this because of what Shinji said? You shouldn't pay any attention to him."

"It's not because of him," Kei answered with a sigh.

"Then what is it? We can't leave you here. If Chan's men find you…"

Kei met Sho's gaze and held it and suddenly the vampire's 'plan' became crystal clear in Sho's mind.

"Kei, you can't take on an entire gang, not on your own. You're too weak."

"I'm fine."

"You've collapsed twice already! They'll kill you if you fight them alone."

"I can't die, Sho," Kei gently reminded him. "Not like that at least…"

Sho swallowed hard to force down the lump that had formed in his throat. For some reason he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was going to say goodbye to Kei for the last time, that the vampire did not intend to return to him after this.

"We're a team," Sho said stubbornly, "If you're staying then I'm staying too."

"You'd only hinder me," Kei answered a little coldly, "I don't want to worry about protecting you as well."

"You don't need to protect me," Sho snapped defensively, "I can look after myself."

"Like you did the other night," Kei reminded him.

"We wouldn't have gotten into this mess if you have been conscious," Sho shot back angrily.

That struck a nerve and Kei's expression softened just before he turned away. "I'm tired, Sho," he murmured with a sigh attached to this, "Living like this… it's starting to get through to me. Please leave. You're right, I should have been there so the least I can do is get you out of this mess."

Sho knew what he was really saying; I can't go on anymore, I want to die.

"Idiot," Sho shouted, the tears that he had previously forced down finally breaking free at Kei's words. "What do I have to say to you to make you see how important you are to me?"

Kei turned to meet Sho's eyes, startled a little by his friend's words.

"I don't want you to go anywhere. I don't want you to die."

Without thinking about what he was doing after this, Sho, completely on the spur of the moment, took a step towards Kei so that they were practically touching.

Just what do I have to say to convince you that you're worth something… that you're everything to me?

Tentatively, Sho reached out and placed his hands on Kei's bare shoulders, unsure of what he was trying to accomplish by this but needing to touch the vampire, to try and convey some of what he was feeling to Kei.

They locked gazes and in a moment everything seemed to fade. Sho closed his eyes, a small gasp escaping him when he felt Kei's lips against his own. Not before long, his desperate hold on Kei had turned into an embrace as he responded to Kei's kiss.

Trembling under the vampire's dominance of the situation, Sho felt his legs begin to weaken and so he was taken completely off guard when Kei broke the kiss to lean against him.

Holding Kei was still a relatively new experience and Sho wasn't quite sure it was one he would ever get used to, although it was not an unwelcome one. It merely unsettled him a little, that was all, for it was usually the other way round.

"I'm sorry," Kei said shakily and Sho wasn't entirely sure of what he was apologising for.

Kei was still weak and Sho found himself guiding the blonde back into the front room to be seated on the small sofa that was there.

"You have to feed," Sho said, his tone making it clear that he would heed no arguments.

"It's too late now," Kei admitted quietly, "I've left it too long."

"And you thought you could take out a whole gang," Sho lightly swatted the vampire round the head, "baka. I'll go and find you someone."

"You can't," Kei shook his head, "it's not safe for you to go out. They'll be looking for you."

"Then you can have…?" Sho let the rest of the sentence hang for they both knew what he was saying.

"No," Kei refused immediately, "I won't be able to stop… I'd take too much."

"Then we'll go tonight. I don't care about the dangers, so don't go trying to talk me out of it."

The tension between them had somehow been dispelled by that heated kiss but neither of them could bring himself to talk about it, it would seem.

Sho sat down beside Kei, staring at the wall opposite as his mind turned over what would happen now. He had always loved Kei but he had never even thought it possible that Kei saw him as anything more than a friend. Now he was left feeling unsure. Sho had expected protests from Kei, mainly along the lines of his lack of humanity, none of which mattered to Sho but did so a great deal to Kei.

None of this, however, had been forthcoming and Sho didn't know what to do for the best. They could ignore it. It would become another unspoken memory, yet he did not want things to be this way for there would then be that subtle awkwardness between them and Sho would never forgive himself if this ruined things between them.

What did Kei want? It had been Kei who had initiated the kiss, Sho was sure of. Allured by the close proximity of the vampire, Sho's recollection of the moment before the kiss was hazy but he was sure that it was Kei's actions that started it. Why had he done that? Sho couldn't answer this. All he knew was that the desperation of their position was starting to get through to the both of them.

Had that been all it was between them? A frantic attempt to seek a little comfort in the fear of the situation that they had found themselves in? Sho could not bear to suffer rejection at Kei's hands, hence he had held his silence on the matter for so long but being alone together like this, still very much caught in the moment, Sho knew that such an opportunity might never come about again.

"Kei," Sho started, his voice a lot shakier than it had been moments before, "I love you."

The look that Kei gave him was so full of dismay that Sho immediately wished that he could take back those words for the gap between them had instantly been widened by that forbidden sentence.

"You can't love a monster," Kei answered him quietly, his voice heavy with regret and pain and thus Sho did nothing to stop him from getting up and exiting the room, and once again, Sho was left alone.

You can't love a monster

Kei regretted leaving Sho alone and he hated his inability to voice anything more than his pain-filled words. His state of mind was worsening and Kei glanced impulsively at the curtains that shielded the sun's harmful gaze. It would be so easy, indeed it was tempting, to pull the damn things down and be done with it, but then Sho would bear witness to it and Kei did not want that. His dreams were still haunted by Luka's end and it was something that Kei had no desire for Sho to ever see.

It had been his weakness that had initiated that kiss. Sho was so desperate and Kei just felt so dejected that he had allowed himself this one selfish action. It was selfish and for Sho to then bare his heart so openly was like a dagger in Kei's own.

I love you

Kei wanted to return those sentiments but to do so would be the ultimate selfish act when he knew that he would bring Sho nothing but pain. To say that Sho's words had, had a positive effect in battling his inner torment would not be a lie, but Kei had sunk deeper into despair than Sho could possibly understand and no mere words could bring him out of it.

Then we'll go tonight. I don't care about the dangers, so don't go trying to talk me out of it

Sho still didn't understand that Kei had gone beyond the hunger now. True, the vampire screamed for blood and would eventually unleash itself to gain it by whatever means necessary but Kei's state of mind had crushed it… for now at least. Kei knew that if the vampire was given a chance to come to the surface then there was little he could do. Self-preservation had been its only concern so Luka had warned Kei so long ago.

Luka… Kei missed him more as the years passed by. Luka saved his life but taken away his humanity in the same instant. Yet Kei had not hated him. Yes, he had hated what Luka had turned him into but he had never hated the man whom he had befriended, the man whom he had loved.

Luka had left him alone.

Until Sho that was.

Slowly Kei could feel himself becoming unravelled and the fact that he nearly fed from the younger man cut into him deeper than Sho himself could ever imagine.

Then Sho had offered and, without hesitation, Kei had refused. He knew without question that should he give into the vampire now then Sho would die.

It was the first time in a long while that Kei had felt so unsure and this did little to help ease his current state of mind. He felt as though he was teetering on the edge and anything more would push him completely over it.

What do I have to say to you to make you see how important you are to me? I don't want you to go anywhere. I don't want you to die.

Kei recalled Sho's desperate words with a pang of guilt for making his friend suffer so much. He didn't want to hurt Sho, this was the last thing he wanted to do, but Kei knew that he might well be left without a choice.

He moved slowly over to the bed and lay down upon it once more. As much as he hated to do so, he knew that he had to sleep, that he had to conserve his strength for tonight.

And you thought you could take out a whole gang

As he was now, with his humanity in control, Kei knew that Sho was right but it wasn't the human side of him that would be dealing with Chan and his gang.