Chapter Fifteen
She wanted to smack his hands away as he started to unbutton her blouse, she did not. She lay perfectly still keeping her eyes focused on the dark ceiling. How he removed her bra to expose her breasts is a lost memory, maybe I took it off. She shakes her head to eradicate that thought from her mind. She can remember his hot mouth kissing and licking her breasts. She sits up in the bed holding her hand to her mouth to fend off the nauseous feeling inside.
She scans the hospital room and it has suddenly gotten very dark, she reaches across her body to snap on the lamp. The room lights up and she lies on her side, she can see her reflection in the water filled aluminum pitcher that sits on the stand next to the bed. She bolts up and switches off the light. She once again lies down, turning on her side. No matter how hard she tries, she cannot shake the image of Charlie; she sees his face every time she closes her eyes. He talked to her in whispers throughout, you always like when I do that. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying, No, she wanted to yell, No I don't, not with you.
She holds her aching stomach as the image of him sliding into her enters her mind, she feels no pain. She is wet, wet from his tongue. With each thrust, he gets faster and faster, she can hear him say, I want you to come for me. She tries to suppress what she is feeling, "No," she says aloud, in the dark room. She sees herself lying on the floor, "I tried," she starts to cry, "I tried to contain it but I couldn't. I did come for him, that low life piece of slime brought me to an orgasm." She sits up in the bed, "He smiled at me, I can see that smug look on his face, he knew it, he knew he made me come for him."
She flops onto the bed and after a moment, she is in the bathroom. "Mrs. Goren," a voice calls to her. A faint knock on the door, "Mrs. Goren are you alright?" She gags once again, the door opens and a hand is on her back, rubbing it softly.
She wakes and the room is full of sunshine and a pacing man, whose hands are deep in his pockets. She says nothing, "Morning," he says. She scans him from head to toe, he looks worn out. She wants to tell him but she is afraid, he wouldn't understand.
She sits up in the bed, "When are we leaving?"
He walks continues to pace the length of the room, "In a few hours."
She pulls off the sheet and swings her legs over the side of the bed, "I need a shower." He watches her as she scampers past him and into the bathroom, "Patience," he says aloud.
Bobby has taken the task of driving home, he and John in the front seat, Sara, Alex and Rachel in the back. The idle chitchat throughout the hour-long drive is all that fill the silence.
The Goren Home
As he steers the car into the driveway John points out a familiar car, "Laurie is here."
The front door opens and the two and a half old runs down the sidewalk. "Mommy, Daddy," he says repeatedly.
Bobby exits the vehicle and scoops the toddler into his arm, kissing his cheek, "Hey little guy."
Robby returns the kiss, "Hi Daddy."
The back passenger door opens and Alex emerges, looking weak and tired, she raises her hand to her son's cheek, patting it gently, "Hi sweetie," she says, all concerned remain quiet and still as they watch her stroll up the walkway and into the house. Bobby sets his son down and the little boy grabs onto Rachel's hand, pulling her. "Play," he says.
She smiles, "Ok Robby, ok."
Laurie, Sara and John follow Bobby into the house, Alex notices them enter. She grabs Bobby's arm and pulls him down, whispering she says, "Get….tell everyone I'm fine and to go home." He frowns but concedes to her wishes, moments later the house is clear of the family.
"I need a shower," she says.
"You just took one," he says. She ignores his words and he watches as she ascends the stairs, "No matter how much you push us away Alex, we'll still be there."
He spies the shadows of the kids out the back window. "Rachel," he calls her name from the opened door.
He hears giggling, then, "Yes Bobby," as she and Robby appear.
"Everything alright?"
She nods, "Yes," Robby runs past her. "I'll get him." Bobby smiles as he shakes his head at the energy level of the kids.
"Rachel bring him in, it's time for lunch."
"Ok," he hears her say faintly, as she disappears around the side of the house.
Not as joyful as the ice cream sundae day but calm and enjoyable.
Bobby prepares sandwiches for the kids.
"Bobby, can I call my Mom after lunch?"
He places his hand on her shoulder, patting it gently. "Yes. I think that's a great idea."
Alex has been upstairs for at least twenty minutes and he listens for the sound of water, he hears nothing. "Finish your lunch, I'll be back in a minute."
He finds her sitting on the edge of the bed. He watches her as she crosses her legs then uncrosses them, she stands and begins to pace around the room, mumbling to herself. She then resumes her spot on the edge of the bed. She is oblivious to the fact that Bobby is standing in the door frame watching. "What happened to your shower?"
She gasps as she stands, "Shit, you scared me."
"Sorry," he walks into the room. "Your Mom has invited themselves here for dinner, she suggested tonight but I told her tomorrow would be better. She said that she and your sister will take care of everything."
She nods, then returns to sitting on the edge of the bed, he sits down next to her. Slowly he raises his arm to place it around her shoulder, she abruptly stands, "I better get in the shower and I....I....need a nap."
He remains on the bed, "Give her time," he says aloud then exhales. He flops onto the bed and closes his eyes, less than a minute passes and he feels a sense that someone is staring at him. He is right, it's Rachel and Robby. "Bobby," she says his name softly.
He sits up, "Yes Honey, what is it?"
"Can I call my Mom now," she says shyly as if she is interrupting him.
"Yes," he nods his head as he sits up, "Yes of course." He stands and takes a hold of their hands, leading them out of the room and down the hallway.
Robby yawns and Bobby comes to the realization that it is nap time for his son. "Come on Robby," Bobby opens his son's bedroom door. "It's nap time for you." Removing his son's shoes and socks, he pulls down the Spider-Man cover and sheets to match and the two and a half year old jumps into bed. He caresses his head full of hair then bends down and kisses his forehead. "Sleep well Buddy." Robby grabs a hold of his Spongebob squishy toy as Bobby pulls the blanket up to his neck. The toddler turns on his side as he closes his eyes.
Rachel is in the hallway, though she has seen both Alex and Bobby putting Robby down for his nap she feels a twinge of jealously. Never can she remember her father doing that for her. Why? What did I ever do for him to treat me like that?
"Rachel, Rachel….honey are you alright?"
She shakes her head back to the moment at hand. "Yes, I'm fine."
Bobby takes her hand, "Come on, let's go call your Mom." They walk in silence down the stairs, Rachel leading the way.
He picks up the house phone, "Rachel I have to tell you something," he returns the receiver to the cradle. "I told your Mom a fib. I told her that you and Alex had come down with the flu and that is why you haven't been there to see her. I didn't want to lie but when I spoke with her doctor," Bobby pauses for a moment. "He thought it best not to tell her now, remember I told you that at the hospital."
She nods, "I understand, I'll tell her when she feels better." He dials the number and asks for Mrs. Jacqueline Spangler's room. As the phone is ringing, he hands the receiver to Rachel. He turns to leave but stops when he hears the one sided conversation.
"Hi Mom."
"Yes Alex and I are feeling better."
"Yes," she says excitedly. "I talked to Daddy," sounding as if she is happy that she spent time with her father.
"He, ah….he left that place and….I....he got sick and is in the hospital but he's going to be fine."
She's protecting him from her, he shakes his head and she's protecting her from him, working both sides of the fence, damn. He sits on the step halfway from the second floor. The words spoken from the little girl, brings back memories of his childhood.
He entered the kitchen, his stomach is empty. She is in there removing all the cups, dishes and bowls, everything that hides behind the cabinet doors. She is mumbling to herself, he slowly backs out of the room, with the hope that he can avoid this episode.
He leaves the apartment using the stairs, he is proud of himself that he managed to escape. He spies his father on the floor below.
Later the Day
He returns home and the kitchen has been put back to it's former state. He sits at the table stuffing food into his mouth as fast as he can, "Bobby where is your father?" She asks for the fifth time.
He shrugs his shoulders, then swallows fast.. "I don't know." He lies. He saw him knock on the apartment door on the floor below.
"Go find him." She notices his hesitation, "Bobby go find your father." He remains, "Now!" she bellows.
"Me? Why me?" he whispers as he leaves the room.
He left the house for over an hour, "Find him," her words are heard repeatedly in his mind. His solo journey around the neighborhood fills his mind with the memory of earlier that day.
To this day he cannot recall her facial features, it doesn't matter they were all the same, small framed women with dark hair, just like his mother. He can see the dangling large red bracelet, he thought then as he thinks now, it was blood red and ugly.
Her voice has now entered his memory. When she reached up to wrap her arms around his father's neck, "You are right on time, lover." She stands on tip-toe to kiss him, she notices the little boy, "What the hell are you looking at? What are you a perv or something?" His father follows her stare and the boy watches as the older man's eyes widen, he immediately pulls her arms off of him. He tried to turn away and run but his legs would not listen, he hears the condescending tone so crisp and clear.
"Are you spying on me?"
He tried not to squeak or stutter, but it was hard, "No….I….ah…"
"Speak up boy," he says sternly as he kneels down and grabs his arm. "You know I hate it when you stutter." He shakes him, "Tell me!"
He stands up as straight as he can, "No," he puffs out his chest, his knees are knocking but no one can tell, he speaks assertively, "I was going to the store and…" he wants to ask what his father is doing, but he knows. "I have to get some milk," he tries to wiggle out of the strong grasp.
He hears her voice, "I'd spank the little brat."
His father releases his hold and immediately he is down the hall, down the stairs and out the front door. He tries not to think of the wrath that will come later. He chuckles softly all that worry for nothing, the next time he saw his father was the next morning. Either he forgot or it just didn't matter whether he told his mother, he never did. "All the secrets, Jesus Christ,"he says as he stands, he turns and ascends the stairs, he checks on his son. He stands in the door frame watching his son sleep, a peaceful sleep, like all children should have. He closes the door softly.
He didn't realize how tired he was till his body lay flat on the bed. When Alex returns to their bedroom, he is sprawled out on the bed, asleep.
She changes quietly and returns downstairs. Rachel has finished her phone call and Alex spies her sitting in the kitchen reading a book, she clears her throat. "Where's Robby?"
Rachel frowns at the question thinking Alex should now, "He's, he's ah.... taking a nap."
"Oh," she says sharply. Immediately she finds the remote and clicks on the TV. She lies down on the couch, covering herself with the handmade quilt. She focuses with intent at the inane rerun of a 30-year-old sitcom.
The house is quiet and still, Bobby and Robby are asleep and Alex is lying still on the couch, Rachel for the first time, since coming to live here feels alone, very alone.
A/N: Our apologies if the content of this chapter was distrubing, hence the genre ANGST. Too much? Your opinions are greatly appreciated.