Lounging in the lobby of the luxurious Deling Hotel, the members of SeeD and their companions waited for their leader to assign the group that would enter the suite and retrieve former-cadet Almasy. The scarlet curtains and gold filigree twisted amongst the mahogany columns, the expensive furnishings and rare paintings on the walls; all these fine details were ignored by the impatient mercenaries (and one hero!) as they cooled their heels in air-conditioned comfort.

An elderly lady at the desk clutched her purse to her chest as she witnessed an overly hyper young man aiming punches in the air. That in itself didn't bother her, but hearing his muttered curses made her wonder what they were teaching in those schools these days. He sounded like one of those troubled children.

"Stupid Squall, taking so damn long to make a fucking decision. If it was me, we'd all go up there and tie Seifer to a wheelbarrow and roll his ass downstairs, but NOOOO, big leader Leonhart always insists on dividing us into groups of three. Why not four? Why not five? And why the hell not six? And why is it that he always has to be in the group? Frickin' glory-hound asshole." Zell was in the middle of aiming another punch at the head of imaginary Squall when a little old woman that smelled suspiciously of cats shoved an ancient piece of lint-covered butterscotch candy into his pocket. "What the hell...?"

The old lady gave him a gummy grin. "You just take that and have a very nice day, young man. I hope you'll remember this before you try to buy one of those heathen rock and roll records or sell your soul to the dark lords." Wrinkled hands patted Zell on the shoulder, then the crazy old cat lady shuffled to the exit, leaving behind one very confused martial artist.

Irvine watched the exchange with a bit of jealousy. He had spent the past ten minutes trying to think of a good line to use on the old woman, but his golden tongue failed him. It wasn't that she was really attractive, but damn it, she was female and he had to hit on her. If it breathed and it had jugs, then the situation called for some smooth talkin'. True, he had been punched in the eye more than once because he propositioned a few men with rather large and droopy, umm, pecs, but still...

Selphie had once tried to make him enroll in a program for sex addiction, but he had been thrown out after only the first session. Something about that pinch on the ass didn't impress the counselor. Oh well. "Hey Zell! What'd you do to make that lady notice you? I've been sittin' here trying to work up the nerve to corral that lil' filly and you done gone and stole her from me!"

"What?!?! That nutcase just crammed a piece of candy in my pocket and told me to have a nice day! I didn't do anything that would..."

Their argument was interrupted by a peculiar sort of silence. A silence that could only be described as "............"

Irvine raised an eyebrow and looked at Squall, who was staring at them with one eyelid ticking as he sent out his most powerful silent ellipsis. It was an angry, impatient sort of ellipsis, the sort that could only come from a socially maladjusted twat that thought being dramatic and moody would make him seem really mysterious.

"...................."

"Psst, hey Zell?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that he counts the dots when he does that?"

"I don't know man. It freaks me out though."

Both looked across the lobby to see if anyone else was bothered by their leader's strange behavior. Selphie was trying to engage Watts in a conversation about the finer points of train travel, Rinoa was busily applying another coat of lipstick, Zone was moaning about his bellyaches, and a tipsy Quistis was just returning from the downstairs bar.

"So, uh, Squall..."

"Yes, SeeD Kinneas?"

"Do you..." Irvine wanted to ask if thinking in dots hurt his brain, but he decided that Squall would eviscerate him before he received an answer, so he kept his real question to himself. Instead, he asked, "...umm, did you decide on the group that will retrieve the target?"

"Yes, the party will be..."

A flash of blinding gray light filled the lobby and all of the gathered members shook their heads. Damn it all, why the hell did the world fucking do that every time that Squall decided on a party? It was almost as if the world paused for an instant ...

"Quistis, Rinoa, and..."

Wait for it, wait for it... Zell must have fidgeted as he thought this, because Squall narrowed his eyes and angrily huffed before naming the last party member.

"...myself."

And there it is! Ego maniac has struck again! He takes the hot chicks and I'm stuck with two perverts, a guy that has a name off of a box of light bulbs, and Selphie.

Squall tugged at the heavy collar on his new coat and looked to the stairs where his rival and arch-nemesis was waiting. "Those of you left behind, we'll meet outside of town so that we can regroup before we attempt the journey back to Balamb."

Irvine raised his hand. "Wait. Why don't we just get back on the train and ride back to Balamb? It would be much faster and we wouldn't have to worry about running into any enemies if we did it that way, so..."

Squall tilted his head and put one gloved hand on his hip. "You'll do as I say. I'm the leader of this operation and I say we're going the long way." And with that, Squall quickly crossed the lobby to retrieve his lovely female companions. A few short words and they ascended the stairs, leaving the rest to do whatever is was that they did when they weren't directly involved in the main offensive.

Selphie, slightly offended that she wasn't included in the main party stalked to her boyfriend and crossed her arms. "Who the hell decided to make Laughing Boy the leader of this mission anyway? And come to think of it...I noticed that Rinoa didn't have Angelo with her. Has anybody seen her?"

"Who? Rinoa?" Zell pointed to the stairs. "She just went with Squall to get..."

"No, not her. Angelo."

Zell shrugged. He had completely forgotten that Angelo was a bitch. And she isn't too friendly either! Ha! I need to retire from mercenary work and try stand-up comedy...I kill me...

Irvine remembered the way that Squall tugged on his new coat. His new coat with the incredibly thick and lustrous collar that resembled... "Hey darlin'?"

"Yes, Irvy-Kinny Poo?"

"Did you happen to notice that Squall seems awfully pleased with that new jacket of his?"

Deep in thought, Selphie pouted her lips. "Hmm...you know, I did think it was kind of funny that he kept scratching his neck...almost like he had fleas..." Her bright green eyes widened in shock. "Irvy, you don't think that he would..."

The tall cowboy clicked his tongue in sympathy for the poor beast. "I reckon we shoulda listened when he said that he was gittin' purty damn tired of hearin' that dog sniffin' at the door when he wanted to be alone with Rinoa..."

Zell's eyes bounced from Irvine to Selphie as they discussed the late gender-confused canine. Surely they didn't think that Squall would... He would never...

Would he?

Oh, poor Angelo...

----------------------------------------------------

Far from the splendor of Deling City, a large ship changed its course for the seventh time that day. The crew had yet to be told that the Sorceress War was over, so they continued their maritime duties as if the foul golden eyed witch was still stalking their precious cargo.

A slight dark-haired woman held her scarf to her shoulders so the powerful ocean breeze wouldn't tear it from her body as she gazed at the wide seas. Sure, Ellone could have told the crew that there was really no need to take her all over the planet, but she knew that this was the only way that she would be free of her younger brother and his damned obsessive behavior. If she had to hear, 'Sis! Sis! Where are you?' one more time, she just knew that she'd snap.

Her life had been a regular lark; sailing from port to port, sharing wild tales with sailors and adventurers, joking that she spent all day and night with a group of men that called themselves 'White SeeD', which made her laugh every fucking time she thought about it. Oh, the jokes she would crack about seamen and White SeeD...

Yes, life was wonderful until she discovered that the only way to save the world was to contact the little depressed freak so he could regain his memories in time to defeat the sorceress. Why the hell did his repressed childhood have any bearing on his ability to kick some sorceress ass? And why everyone felt the need to chase her all over the globe...well, she never really understood that, either.

A part of Ellone wanted to tell the people that spent so much time searching for her that they didn't need her at all if they wanted to bend time. A few bites from a certain hallucinogenic species of Funguar had much the same effect, though they would spend most of that bent time period throwing up and praying for mercy. Still, better for them to have a bad trip than to chase her all the time so that she could get no rest.

Ah well. The war was over and the sorceress was defeated, so that meant the only person still searching for her was that damned obnoxious brother of hers. And now, far from shore and relaxing in the sunlight, Ellone felt peace for the first time since she escaped the orphanage.

"Good day, ma'am." The captain of the vessel walked behind Ellone and quietly waited for her to acknowledge him.

"Good day, captain. I trust that we've shaken our pursuers and we now have clear seas ahead."

"Yes, well, about that..."

"Yes sir?"

"Well ma'am, with fuel prices being what they are, I'm afraid that we aren't going to be able to carry you much farther. Once we reach Balamb harbor to refuel, we're going to leave you..."

A strange electric current coursed through Ellone's veins, something pulsating between white-hot fury and cold, numb terror. Balamb? Where Squall lived? Fucking hell. "Captain, you mustn't do this. I'm not safe in Balamb, nor will I find any peace if you abandon me with..."

The captain beamed. He was very proud of himself for considering the safety of his passenger. "No ma'am. You'll be very safe indeed. I've contacted the headmaster of Balamb Garden and he is ready to defend you against any foes. He told me that he would assign Commander Leonhart himself to the team organized for your defense and he also...ma'am? MA'AM! WHAT THE BLEEDIN' HELL ARE YOU DOIN"?"

Ellone was pulled from the railing just before she plummeted to a watery death in the briny deep. Slapping at his arms with her tiny hands, she screamed, "Let go of me, you bastard! I am not going to go to Balamb! My uncle is the president of Esthar, damn it! You can't make me! If you do, so help me I'll..."

A quick swipe from his blackjack and the captain felt Ellone slump in his arms. The poor dear. She was so afraid of the sorceress that she didn't even want to reach land.

Carefully lifting her from the deck, the captain carried her to her quarters and gently placed her on the narrow cot. Locking the door behind him, he returned to his crew to give them yet another change in coordinates.

Balamb bound and still unconscious, Ellone slept through the journey, dreaming of fizzy drinks in coconuts, oiled-down half-naked waiters, and pubs and bars in tropical locales, far from the whining of a clingy snot-nosed twerp.

The poor, poor dear...

-------------------------------------------------------

Rinoa stood at the door of Seifer's hotel room/prison and nervously patted her hair. Digging through her pockets, she found her compact and checked her make-up, satisfied when she saw that she looked as beautiful as ever.

Quistis watched her in semi-drunken amusement. Rinoa seemed awfully excited to see her ex-boyfriend. Whatever would Squall think if he knew that his girlfriend was lusting after her old love?

A bit emboldened by the six pina-coladas and three whiskey sours she drank while waiting for Squall to assign the party members, Quistis sauntered a bit closer and whispered, "Say, Rinoa, I know that you used to date Seifer and I have a question for you."

Rinoa blushed. "Well, you know Quisty, that was such a long time ago..."

Glancing at Squall, Quistis felt a strange sort of malicious, vengeful excitement creeping along her spine. Raising her voice just enough so that Squall could hear her, but keeping it low enough so that Rinoa still thought that they were speaking in complete confidence, she asked, "So tell me, who's better in bed?"

Squall tilted his head and paused just as he was getting ready to open the door to Seifer's room. There shouldn't be any question at all! He was the Lion, the Knight! His gunblade was bigger, damn it!

"Quisty! I can't talk to you about that!"

Quistis licked her lips and leaned even closer. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone."

Rinoa giggled. "Well, I love my Squall and he's a big hero and all, but..."

Squall looked over and Quistis squarely met his gaze. Winking, she wrapped her arm around Rinoa and smiled that mysterious smile that only wronged women seem to possess. "But what, Rin? I have to admit that I'm very..." Squall was getting angrier and angrier and Quistis' smile was getting wider and wider. "...very curious about Seifer's carnal prowess. I just wondered, since you have experience with both of them and we're getting ready to meet your ex for the first time in months."

Blushing even more at Quistis' sudden interest, Rinoa plainly stated, "Seifer is much, much better, but that doesn't matter, 'cause he's no hero. Even though he had me screaming so loud one night that my dad broke into my bedroom and caught us, he still isn't my..."

"That's quite enough, Rinoa. Thank you. That was just what I needed to hear."

Quistis moved from Rinoa's side and slid a bit closer to Squall. She gently patted his arm when she saw that he was twitching in silent anger. "I understand that you may be a bit hurt after hearing such a confession from your one true love, but..." Slapping his hand off the doorknob and roughly pushing him backwards, Quistis stepped into the room and waited for the rest of her team to follow.

Grinning when she heard Squall's muttered curse, she stuck her head into the hallway and pointed to the wall behind him. "...always remember that there is a friendly wall waiting to hear from you, dear. Make certain that you tell it every little thing that bothers you, else you might turn into an anti-social loser with bad taste in women."

Rinoa said something to him, but Squall was deep into another of his sullen, silent periods and nothing she did seemed to help.

Quistis smiled. If the little princess couldn't think of something to soothe her knight's troubled mind, it was no concern of hers. She had a mission to complete and the happiness of her companions mattered little to her.

Spinning on her heel and quite full of herself, Quistis fully entered the room and came face-to-face with her old student. Well, as close to face-to-face as they could be, considering that Seifer was stretched on his back and he had to lean on his elbows to see who had the balls to enter his room.

A bit amused by the conversation he just heard, Seifer nodded to his former instructor. "Well, well, well...sounds like my dear instructor has grown a backbone. I must say, I kind of like it. Now you've got the personality to match that whip of yours..."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "You've not changed a bit, have you?"

"Oh, you know me. I hate to be bored." Grinning, he tugged his restraints and winked. "But I don't mind being tied down and spanked, so if you wanted, you could just shut the door before the perfect pair interrupts us and we could..."

Perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that she had just pissed off Squall, but Quistis was having fun. Seifer was a grade-A dickhead, but at least he wasn't an emotional shut-in with a penchant for black clothing and too many belts. "Yes, well, it's a shame that I can't take you up on that offer, but I've been assigned to bring you to Balamb Garden so that..."

Seifer arched an inquisitive eyebrow. "Did they tell you why they want me back at Garden?"

"Well, no, but I have to follow orders, so..."

"They didn't tell you anything?"

Quistis opened her mouth to reply, but Squall and Rinoa finally charged into the room, weapons drawn and ready to fight. When they saw that Quistis was simply standing at the foot of Seifer's bed, engaged in light conversation with the bound figure tangled in his sheets, they looked at each other in confusion. Well, first Rinoa took a very long, lustful look at Seifer, then she looked at Squall in confusion.

Seifer chuckled. "Boy, they really pulled out the stops for this mission, didn't they? Not only do I get my sexy little instructor, but I get Puberty Boy and Princess too! Gee, they must really love me to send you guys all the way out here to fetch me."

Squall wanted to take advantage of the fact that Seifer was tied to a bed and unable to defend himself, but he saw that Rinoa was having eerily similar thoughts, so he quickly moved to Seifer's wrists and undid the restraints. Nodding to Quistis, Squall ordered her to cuff the captive and move him into the hallway.

Seifer, surprisingly docile, held his hands behind his back so that Quistis could apply the steel cuffs. "Now this is fun. If I had known that my dear instructor would be sent to get me with handcuffs and a whip, I would have surrendered a long time ago. Just be gentle with me. I'm not accustomed to this kinky shit, though I'm more than willing to learn."

Quistis laughed when she saw Rinoa's pretty face darken in anger. "Oh really? You mean that you'd actually let me teach you?"

Squall and Rinoa looked at each other again, a bit perplexed by this odd behavior. Clearing his throat, Squall moved behind them so that he had a clear view of every movement made by their captive. "Alright, move along. We're to meet the rest of the group outside of the city limits, then we're taking the circuitous route back to Balamb."

"Aw, did ya hear that, instructor? Leonhart missed me so much that he wants to spend a little extra time with his favorite lapdog. Cute, ain't it?"

Quistis rolled her eyes again, though she was oddly charmed by the tall man walking beside her. Or maybe it was the fact that he was handcuffed and at her mercy. Either way, she was digging it.

Rinoa, not one to be out of the spotlight for long, quickly moved to Seifer's opposite side so that she could take his other arm. "Move along, prisoner. No talking. Especially not to her." She squeezed his arm and moved a bit closer. "If you have any questions, you can address them to me, of course. I'll be happy to answer them for you."

As they walked out of the hotel and into the streets beyond, Quistis and Seifer continued to trade barbs, Rinoa primped and simpered, and Squall followed, grumbling to himself about stupid missions and assholes with ugly gray trenchcoats.

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Note: Yes, I think that Rinoa and Quistis would have fucking hated each other, but they were so damned lovey dovey in the game that it drove me crazy. After Quistis started screaming at Rinoa in the general's mansion, I remember thinking, 'Oh hell yes! Here it comes!'

Alas, I was disappointed. The frickin' story even had Quistis go back and apologize to the bitch! Honestly! What the hell?

And through the whole game, whenever Seifer and Quistis had a conversation I wondered why the hell they didn't just admit that they were head over heels for each other? I loved the fighting and the tension between the two. Once again, I was disappointed by game designers that were only interested in Rinoa and Squall. Boring!

So, I forgot that I was working on this fic b/c I was busy with a couple of others. Sorry! Coming soon, more Seifer and Quistis (because I'm such a silly fangirl), some Laguna daydreams, that tent scene I meant to add here (oops) and more mischief.