There's always a first for everything.
"I don't think she should say Carlisle not right now, not right here" dad responded.
"It's me isn't it? She can see again." It was the only explanation. she could never normally see when I was there, I was a curse to for Alice but I considered my self to be a friendly one at the least.
"No well yes. She is able to see you again slightly. Your vampire half of you has come out to be more dominant than the other and that slight difference now allows her to search your future."
"What's up with then Alice?"
"You're an alcoholic Nez that's for sure. Though when you are fully grown, you will be in immense pain that's all I see." Wow I was an alcoholic, that wasn't surprising as every now and again my thirst wasn't for human blood but something else which im guessing was alcohol. Pain when im fully grown didn't sound to good though.
"How much pain?" Mum asked
"From what I can tell, worse than the transformation from human to vampire." That bad huh? Well then that meant I wasn't going to be turned into a full vampire which almost made me sigh because I was always the slowest and the weakest at everything, especially baseball. Though Alice seeing me again was a very, very bad thing, I would never be able to get away with anything!
"why? How is that possible? How long?" the questions flowed from me like a water fall crashing to its surface.
"Christmas break. I think. Well there's a tree decorated. I think" Alice murmured she wasn't really in the room she was in the future. Searching.
"PLEASE? Can I get up?" I screamed. I didn't know why, but it seemed appropriate.
"No. Renesmee you cant your hung over." Carlisle said firmly. Who Cares? Give me some ibuprofen and ill be fine. I just need a drink. Then I will go back to sleep again.
"Do you think Jacob has alcohol available round his?" My father asked my mother.
"No. I shouldn't think so." My mother replied in a wary tone trying to figure out or maybe trying to think back to when she has been their last.
"Ahhhh. Just give me it Dad" I started off my shouting but by the end of the sentence my voice was just a violent whisper.
"Nessie. Rise above it, no, I will not give u any source of alcohol, and neither will any body else. You want it you get it." My father replied, I don't think he really thought out the last bit. Fine. I replied bitterly in my thought. His answering stare seemed to smug and a huff from him just proved his stare. I got out of the bed and got to my feet. That's when the room stared to spin and the colours merge into one. That's when the one comfort took over, the blackness again.
"Sorry" I responded as soon as I got the control over my voice again. I new that I was strong enough this time; I could now feel the lightness in my limbs where the alcohol had left them and made them light once more. I loved being a vampire. I considered my self one, I was a full vampire when I wanted to be. Though I could have the best of both worlds and could be a full human, if I wanted to be. I couldn't morph or anything, but there wasn't anything to stop being what I wanted to be, mentally. I mean as long as it was part of me, if that were to be the blood rushing through my veins or the hardness of my skin, or my unusual heart beat, I was what I wanted to be. But most of all I was a Cullen. I opened my eyes, to find no-one was there, no-one by my bed. I felt the tears swelling in my eyes. The tears over ran one by one over my eye lid. I made no attempt to hide them. I pulled the duvet over my head and sobbed for only 356 seconds until the door creaked open and the light shone through the door. the bed dipped lightly where he lay. The cold hit the bed hard but the duvet protected me.
"Renesmee. Come on, look at me, I need to see my daughters face at least once an hour, when she's conscious." My fathers voice surrounded every part of the room. I didn't move from under the covers, though my body gave me away, when one frantic sob jolted my body and took the air out of my lungs. That's when he took the duvets off me and put them over him self and pulled me up so that I was lying on his chest. Some how, I was completely covered in the duvet. Minutes passed and he still laid there lifelessly listening to me sob, the only sign that he was alive, was the movement of his chest, every now and then, and when he stroked or kissed my hair, or when he would wipe a tear away. The door creaked open once more but widely this time. Mum, Alice, and Emmett walked through, mum and Alice stood at the door. though Emmet tried to jump on me which defiantly scared me and I shaked whilst he was in the air, coming for me but dad stuck up his foot and he went crashing to the ground.
"Nessie, its time for you to go." Alice stated with a nervous excitement in her tone. Dad kissed me on the head and I got up swiftly. I started to walk out the door but Alice stopped me, knowing I couldn't speak I put my hand to her face , telling her goodbye and not to worry and to have a good weekend. She smiled politely. "You to" She embraced me and let me go with a kiss on the head. I opened the front door and the cold hit me like stabbing knives, though it was enjoyable. I had grabbed the keys to the Volvo, I jammed the keys into the engine, or I tried to anyway but my hands were shaking to much. My weight and suddenly been shifted to the passenger seat and the car roared into life.
"I couldn't let you dive. A your 6 and a half and B look at your self" my mother answered the look in my eyes. "How you feeling?" she asked obviously, wanting to see how my attitude was going to be towards well, um, yer, him, yer, Jacob.
"Fine" I lied.
"Not nervous?" she questioned me more
"yer a little I guess. Mum im really sorry"
"For what honey?" she was honestly shocked by my answer to Are you nervous?
"For being such a little madam, and being an alcoholic and for putting your life at-" My voice was just an angry whisper, I wasn't really talking to my mum but more to myself, making one big list of the things I had done to disappoint my family.
"Never, say you're sorry when you have done nothing wrong. Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I am so very, very proud of you, and once more I love you." My mother replied calmly, her voice was always a source of comfort and I could detect it from miles away if necessary. Her voice always made life seem less harmful and everything would slot into place, when she spoke.
"Love you to, mom" I honestly meant it. The c.d in which my dad had made for mum for her very, very unfortunate eighteenth birthday, was running. Her lullaby played and I knew how much pain I was causing her, pulling her away from my father. I was about to suggest that I could run the rest, when the car suddenly came to a holt.
"Have a… good weekend?" it wasn't a statement it was a question.
"Yer, that works. Ciao bella" I said as I opened the opened the passenger door . My eyes darted to the small wooden house, only to realise He was staring in my direction I quickly turned my eyes to stare at anything I could. Damn a bin. i could hear her muffled laugh as I headed to the boot of the car. I thought she would be impressed with my Italian. O right, her name was Bella, she was just mum to me. I grabbed the unfamiliar night bag, it was a bright quirky blue, with an unusual bag charm that was to, quirky, just like the vampire who had brought it for me, her name rang in my ears, Alice.
"Ciao" my called from the car, well not called but said, she knew I would be able to hear her.
I stopped in front of the door, I turned round to run back to the car, but as I did I heard the car doors lock and the car started to turn. I slowly turned round to face reality. It would only get worse in time, wouldn't it? My hand turned into a fist and I lightly knocked on the door twice.
"Hi, Billy" I sighed with relief at the familiar face. He was an alright guy, though he hated me for what I was, he always tried his best to not insult me.
"Renesmee" he nodded once and wheeled off in the direction of the kitchen. "Rachel and Paul, Jake, Leah and Seth are in the living room" he replied as he headed for the fridge. I walked toward the living room but when I was in between the door frame the whole room turned to stare at me. The expression on my face gave it all away. I turned around, and headed for Jakes room.
I through my bag on the floor, then his scent over powered me. The scent of comfort, protection, life, meaning, love. I missed him, I couldn't deny it for much longer, but he didn't love me, not really, he really loved my mum. I curled up in his bed and wrapped my self in his duvet, and let the scent do its damage, I remembered everything and anything we had done, the happy times. The tears hit the surface of my eyes, they always had an acidic scent to them. I cried until I couldn't anymore when my eyes were red and sore. Then I let the nightmarish sleep consume me.
"Nessie, Nessie. Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP. Jasper isn't here he can't calm you, and Carlisle or his high tech equipment isn't either. If you don't make it out of this jakes going to-" Leahs un-soothing voice came into focus and I fluttered my eyes open and as I did Leah got up and simply walked out of the room, she didn't like me either.
"Nessie, please let me explain" Jacobs voice came from outside of the door, I didn't move, I don't think I could. The door opened slightly and the light flooded the room he took a few steps into the room, though that cleared half the space easily, he was now only a few feet away from me. I hid my face in the duvet, childish, yes, but also it stopped any kind of eye contact.
"Listen Nez, I admit I loved your mum, but