Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad to see people still enjoy reading my stuff. Now would you kindly continue reading?

(Seriously, nobody gets it? I'm not saying what the game is until somebody figures it out... :P)

First Impressions

Seras had always been a very curious person. Sometimes, she couldn't help but ask questions about certain things. Usually she asked Walter, since Alucard was a jerk, Pip was an idiot, and Integra was scary. So one day when she got to wondering about a certain thing, she decided to ask her butler friend about it.

"Walter...?" Seras' voice met the old man's ears as he was dusting a vase. Turning to face her, he bowed politely in her presence.

"What can I do for you this evening, Miss Victoria?" the kind old man asked, casually dusting the vase behind his back.

"I was wondering if I could ask you a question..." Seras responded, twisting her foot like a nervous child.

"I don't see why not, Miss Victoria!" he replied with a friendly smile.

"Okay... well... um..." Seras scratched the side of her head, trying to figure out how to word the question. "I've noticed the way Sir Hellsing acts around men - like she has no respect for them at all. And I was wondering... has Integra ever had a boyfriend?"

"Heh heh..." Walter chuckled lightly, as though remembering fond memories. "Yes, of course she has. Just not for too long..."

--FLASHBACK--

A slightly younger Integra, probably around age 17, is casually leading a young man by the hand through hallways of the Hellsing Manor. She's wearing a white blouse and a blue skirt, probably as part of a school uniform. The young man has short brown hair, is somewhat handsome, and is also wearing white and blue clothing. "Come on, he says I can't date unless he approves of the guy..."

"Okay, no problem!" the guy says casually, acting as though it didn't bother him. In reality, though, his thoughts were the same as every other guy that had tried to date Integra. Aw man, this sucks. I thought she'd be easy... Nobody said anything about meeting her Guardian! Oh well, shouldn't be too bad. All I gotta do is play it cool, and soon I'll be gettin' exactly what I want... Oh man, it'll totally be worth it!

"Keep in mind though, he might be cleaning his guns. He likes to do that - he thinks it scares the guys away!" Integra giggled.

"Heh heh! Yeah, it'll take a lot more than that to bother me!" the guy boasted. In reality... Guns? Who said anything about guns? Wait a second, is this really worth getting shot over?

A few seconds later, Integra was shoving open the door to the kitchen, and thrusting the guy into the blindingly-clean room. "Here he is, Alucard! What do you think?" Integra chimed.

The guy looked around, trying to see who Alucard was. There was a Butler standing in the corner, and the old man was just staring at him with a somewhat creepy smile on his face. "Mr. Alucard?" the guy arched an eyebrow. He then stuck out a hand, hoping to greet the old guy and get this over with as soon as possible. "Nice to meet you!" Old man...

"That's not Alucard! That's Walter!" Integra giggled. She then spun the boy around, and exclaimed: "That's Alucard!"

The boy gasped. Sitting in a chair, with his legs propped up on the kitchen table, was a man dressed in red. Piercing red eyes stared up at him from behind shaggy black hair. But what shocked him... what disturbed him... what scared him... was the fact that the man was chewing on a human femur.

The man was, in fact, holding the large leg bone by both ends with both hands, and was ravenously gnawing at it, as though trying to get to the marrow at its core. "Evening..." the man snarled, too busy attacking what was once part of a person. "So you're the guy?"

"I uh, I uh, I uh..." the boy stammered, unsure of what to do. He then also noticed the gun - the freakishly huge silver gun on the table by his feet, with several spare clips of ammo strewn about the table around it. "I- I- I- I'M OUT OF HERE!!"

And with that, the guy took off for the exit. He ran out of the room, and his screams echoed through the halls of the Hellsing Manor for several more minutes, before finally the slamming of the front door was heard. Integra giggled, and then rolled her eyes at Alucard. "You don't have to scare them that badly, you know..."

"Believe me, Master, after reading their minds as they follow you around the Manor, I wish to do much worse..." Alucard grinned, tossing the femur over his shoulder. "I still don't see why you even bother to lead them on, Master."

"Because, I get to see which guys at my school are actually worth dating, and you get to enjoy yourself..." Integra replied playfully.

"But wasn't that the last male in your class?" Alucard replied, slightly concerned for his Master's pursuit of a "boyfriend."

"Yes, yes he was..." Integra sighed. "27 guys, and not a single one of them had pure intentions. How tragic..."

"I'm sure you'll find the proper mate some day, Master..." Alucard smiled, hoping to cheer her up and keep her from becoming discouraged. He wanted to see her happy, even if it meant destroying a few fools' lives in the process.

"Yes, Alucard, I'm sure I will..." Integra smiled innocently back at her Guardian. "I'm sure I will..."

--END FLASHBACK--

"What's so funny?" Seras arched an eyebrow, curious as to what Walter was suddenly giggling about. "Did I miss something?"

"Its nothing," Walter smiled, quickly regaining his composure. "Lets just say its probably a good thing she never had a real boyfriend. I doubt the poor chap would have survived to graduate..."

"Eh?" Seras cocked her head to the side. "Why doesn't she have one now, then? Or perhaps its best if I don't pursue the subject..."

"Perhaps not," Walter shrugged, turning back around to focus on dusting the vase. "But the real answer is that she just hasn't met the right man for job yet."

"Ah..." Seras slowly nodded her head. "Oh, okay. Thanks Walter. I'll see you later, then!" She then turned and left, running off to go bother that silly French mercenary.

"Or at least..." Walter smirked to himself, "She won't admit to it..."

Moral of the Story: Alucard is the physical embodiment of overprotective father-ness.

Well, hope ya'll liked this one. I'm having trouble deciding what the next one should be about, though. Perhaps more questions from Seras? Or what sort of ideas Alucard and the gang come up with while trying to think of a way to boost moral amongst the soldiers? Or perhaps the readers have suggestions of their own?

At any rate, if you want to suggest an idea, or say what you'd prefer the next chapter to be, or you just want to complain about how bad of a writer I am, would you kindly write me a review, then? :)

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it... God bless, and have a nice day! :D

-Agent HUNK