Authors' Note:
Justin: Here to add our version to the legions of others—
Tequila: what exactly DID happen in the chamber of secrets???
Justin: etc., etc., etc.
Tequila: ENJOY:D
Disclaimer: psshh… if there was a secret chamber filled with basilisks under our school, then we might have a case. Sadly, there's only sweaty gym lockers. So, no. Not ours.
Secrets
Almost the moment after Harry and Luna left, Hermione was on her feet, pacing and scowling. She fixed her eyes on Ron. "Blast it, we need to go and do something."
"Hermione, we need to stay here until Harry gets back, the castle's not safe. If we can find that last Hor—"
"But, look, Ron, even if Harry finds Ravenclaw's diadem, we've got no way to get rid of it! We haven't even gotten rid of the cup. We'd need, er, basilisk venom, bespelled weapons, Fiendfyre, which is this really nasty curse that I don't want to even contempl—"
"Hermione!"
"Yes, Ron?"
"Look—basilisk venom can destroy Horcruxes, right?"
"Yes. I've just said—bespelled weap—"
"I know where we can find a helluva lot of basilisk venom…"
Her eyes widened. "The Chamber of Secrets! Will there still—"
"We can go down and get some teeth, or something."
"That's brilliant, Ron."
Ron sighed. "Always the tone of surprise."
She grinned. "So, don't I remember something about the Chamber being in a bathroom?"
"Er… yeah, you can get there through Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."
"Right… Myrtle."
"Yep. C'mon." Ron grabbed her hand and moved towards the door. "Gin, we're going to the girls' toilet on the second floor, alright?"
"What?"
But they were already going, scrambling and skidding as they pelted through the halls to the second floor. Hermione insisted on checking around each corner they came to, even though Ron seemed to think they were invincible or invisible… or both. Once they got into the bathroom, however, his confidence seemed to drain away. He stared down at a sink, scowling. "I forgot. Damn. Harry had to use Parseltongue to get it open." Hermione's face fell. Ron bit his lip. "But I reckon it's the same thing he said to that bloody locket…" his jaw worked and he produced a kind of strangled hiss.
Nothing moved. He tried again. And again. Still nothing. He slammed his fist down onto the sink and hissed one more time. Silence.
Scowling, he turned away. "Sorry, Hermi—"
She let out a squeak. Ron spun, and his eyes widened. The sink was dropping, revealing a gaping hole below, dripping with slime. "Blimey."
Hermione's eyes were wide. "You did it, Ron."
He grinned, and gestured towards the chute. "Witches first."
She gave it a dubious glance. "So… you slide?"
"Yeah."
"Mmmm…" and then, without further ado, she leapt feet-first into the shaft.
Ron gulped, closed his eyes, and followed.
Unfortunately, it was just as slippery and he remembered. And the landing was just as ungainly. He looked up from the tangled of limbs he seemed to be in and Hermione giggled.
Brilliant. "Thanks, Hermione. Thanks loads."
"Sorry, Ron… but it was funny. You know it—"
"Let's just, er, move on, shall we?" He got to his feet and led her over to the heap of rock that still obstructed most of the passageway. "So, through here, then," he turned and held out his hand for her to brace herself against as she climbed through, not really sure why he was doing it except for the fact that this was Hermione, which somehow made things different, unless she didn't want things to be different, in which case she might be offended, and Merlin, he didn't want to upset her—
She took his hand and clambered through the gap. Ron swallowed. He remembered this gap, and clearing it with his hands, and ignoring all of the cuts because Harry was on the other side and so was a sodding basilisk—
"Ronald! Come along."
He scrambled over and joined Hermione on the other side.
"So, where now?"
"I dunno. I never got farther than that—Harry just said there was a tunnel, and, ah… well, a basilisk… so I guess we just keep walking, don't we?"
She nodded and they set off, casting nervous glanced left and right at the strange carving that adorned the walls. It was quiet, deep under Hogwarts, but there was a pervasive, near-imperceptible dripping of water on stone that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once. It was eerie. Ron and Hermione walked in silence along a narrow pathway to a door with twined snakes in its center.
"Oh, shite. Parseltongue again, I bet." Ron screwed up his face in a grimace and hissed again. As before, it took several tries before the door opened and they were able to walk forward into the Chamber of Secrets. The walls were dark and the ceiling was high, and pillars marched regularly to the base of a huge statue. But most of this went unnoticed, at least at first, because the giant, dead basilisk in the center of the room tended to catch the eye.
"Merlin." Hermione's eyes widened. "It's… huge. Harry fought that thing when we were in Second Year?"
Ron bit his lip. "Yeah. S' bloody big, innit? Let's grab some teeth."
Hermione advanced on the creature and whipped out her wand, muttering Severing Charms. The fangs came free and clattered on the floor. "Come along, Ron. Help me gather them up, won't you?"
Ron knelt and began stacking the teeth in his arms, before pausing. "Hang on, Hermione—why don't you go ahead and nix the cup now then? Get it out of the way."
Hermione paled. "Me?"
"Well, I've had a go… seems only fair."
She nodded and set her jaw. "Give it here, then."
Ron handed over the tiny cup, and Hermione grabbed a fang and swallowed hard.
She lifted the tooth and brought it down on the cup—only to stop… a sickly green mist hovered about it… and a face Ron recognized from his nightmares drifted above the little goblet, grinning viciously. No!
"Hermione, oh, Merlin, I'm sorry. I didn't think—you've got do it, now, quick—oh, shite, 'Mione, come on!"
She seemed about to do it, but then He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named began to speak in a low, cajoling voice, "Now, now, Hermione Jean Granger… listen, first. You want to destroy me, but don't I get to speak in my own defense? It's only fair, after all…"
She nodded, slowly.
"No! Hermione, it's a trap!"
The face warped and twisted, becoming… a woman? A girl whose features seemed to float between… Fleur Delacour and Lavender Brown? And yet she was more beautiful than both of those girls (girls, Ron realized with a sickening lurch in his stomach, he had shown, erm… interest in), beautiful in a somehow horrible way. "But what is the point of being fair, Hermione, when you can't win, no matter how hard you try?" she hissed, and Hermione's eyes were glazing over, "You will never be pretty enough for him, and that's all he sees. No matter how smart you are, how hard you work, how kind… you'll always be a freak. A Mudblood. That creepy Granger girl whose mum and dad had to send her to a special school." The girl/thing's voice was cruel and mocking, and the more she leaned forward, the farther Hermione shrank back, eyes wide with pain.
"Hermione, don't listen to it! Stab the cup!"
"There he is, and he doesn't even know it, and he's breaking your heart… don't you wish you could break him? Because you know he never thought of you, never cared for you, always lusting after the next girl with the pretty face and the easy virtue, laughing with them about poor, ugly Hermione, with the brains and nothing else, and he despises you, would never think of you again, if he could avoid it… so why do you waste your time pining over what will never be, because you are not enough for him. You are never enough, Hermione Jean Granger…"
Her hand trembled, and her eyes were still distant and strange and not the safe, warm, beautiful brown he knew. "Merlin, Hermione… I'm sorry."
Her eyes shut, and she—
Brought the fang down in a vicious stab. There was an audible shriek, and then the cup lay, weak and mangled, on the floor, smoking, and Hermione was panting slightly and Ron turned away, pretending not to see the silent tears in her eyes the way he was sure Harry had pretended not to see the dampness in his.
"I… the same thing happened when I did for the locket…" Ron grinned bitterly, "only I took a swing at Harry… lord, I'm sorry, 'Mione… I had no idea…"
Her voice was small in the large, empty room. "That's… it's quite alright, Ronald. We should go back upstairs." She gathered an armful of fangs from the floor and began to walk back out, her back straight and her head high.
He jogged to catch up, feeling stupid and hopeless—and yet, there was this strange lightness spreading through him, tingling a bit, because, did this mean, was this a, could she really—he touched her gently, on the shoulder. "Er, Hermione? When, I, um, did for the locket… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he, um… helookedlikeyouandHarrytogetherandlaughingatme." His ears were burning, he was bright red, he just knew it—
Her smile, small and fragile, was a benediction. "Come on, Ron. Let's go upstairs… Harry's waiting."
He thought he was going to nod his own head off, it was moving so quickly.
A/N, the last horcrux!!:
Justin: If you liked…
Tequila: if it felt realistic…
Justin: If you don't hate it…
Tequila: if you feel sorry for us…
Justin & Tequila: REVIEW!!