DISCLAIMER: A Sea Patrol story based of The Academy Is...album 'Fast Times At Barrington High'. I take no credit for either the characters created or the BRILLIANT work of William Beckett and the crew from TAI
Lyrics are BOLD and ITALIC || Thoughts are ITALIC
Please Note: I will try to keep these characters true to the series in regards to personality. But, that being said, it mightnt happen in places. Just so you know.
AN1: Thanks to Vanessa, who gave me the idea for this chapter. I had kinda set myself up for doing a Mike POV for the song Rumoured Nights, and didnt even think about using this song for that POV. So thanks :)
(Oh, btw Vanessa, my email is [ellen . walker (at) live . com . au] if you want to email me. We can fantasize over Buffer together :P ... and if there is anyone else out there who wants to fantasize with us! )
THE TEST
Once again, after all the crew had left on shore leave, Mike sat alone in the bridge. This was the third such shore leave in a row in which Mike bowed out of the customary celebration with the rest of the crew. Though he would insist to Charge and Buffer that he already had plans lined up, the only thing Mike accomplished was dredging up old feelings and unrequited love. Of all his past relationships, the only one he kept on coming back to was a single, blissful night of passion with his Hammersley's current XO. Sitting back in his chair, Mike slowly slid back into his memories, asking himself how it went so wrong.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mike knew it was wrong, the moment he stepped out of the bar with Kate dangling off his arm. They had had a lot to drink that night as they talked about random topics and past experiences. At that point in time, Kate was a junior Lieutenant and Mike was her superior, her teacher and should've had more sense than to get in the back of a taxi with her. But the only thing running through his head in that moment was, 'To hell with protocol!' Sitting next to her in the backseat, Mike felt tingles wherever they touched. It was electric, as if millions of sparks were being set off throughout his side and leg. Slowly, Mike slid his hand over to cover Kate's. In response to the small gesture, Kate gave Mike a small, knowing smile. Just as the taxi was slowing down, Kate gave him a small wink before pulling out some money to pay the fare. She turned back to him just long enough to give a 'come hither' motion, before stepping out of the taxi and walked slowly to her front door.
Look like a lush. Talk like a tease.
The way you like it.
In front of your house, alone on the street,
you ask me to come inside.
Asleep through all our classes,
you hang me out to dry.
Mike, a little slow on the uptake, had to hurry to catch up with Kate. They finally met up on the doorstep, where they watched the retreating taxi until it was out of sight. As soon as it turned the corner, Kate gave a small, knowing smile and unlocked the door, pulling Mike inside in the process. As soon as it was locked behind them, Mike and Kate were attached at the lips. What followed, as far as Mike could describe, was a pure night of bliss.
~*~*~*~*~
Somehow, between being pulled inside and walking out the next morning, Mike's feelings had done a full 360. He stood there, contemplating what had gone wrong, as he pulled out his mobile to call a taxi. He was still confused as to Kate's behaviour when he stepped into the taxi, and continued to be bewildered when he paid the fare and got out at his place. Finally, once he had showered and changed his clothes, Mike sat on the edge of his bed, head in hands, trying to think why it went off the rails.
If this is a test
I'm losing my shit
would it kill you to care
as much as I did?
If this is a test,
I'm wasting my breath
you're a stranger I know well,
and not at all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After years, Mike finally realised something that should've clicked when he was standing in front of a frightened Kate. She was scared, and he should've fought for her. Instead, Mike just walked away and didn't look back. No calls, no letters, no visits, Mike just cut her right out of his life. Besides, he was re-assigned the following week like he had said. But he never forgot about her. Now, with the past coming back to haunt him, Kate was serving aboard his ship as the second in command. He thought it would be awkward, and oh was he right. She barely spoke to him beyond required duty, and there was so much left unspoken between them that their relationship felt like it was going in reverse rather than moving forward.
Mike sighed as he sat back in his chair, trying to think of something to take his mind off the XO. Looking at the clock, seeing it was still early Saturday afternoon, Mike's eyes fell on the Sat Phone. The first thought that popped into his head was to call Kate, to try and sort everything out. Deciding on a course of action, he got up and moved out of the bridge, pulling out his own mobile in the process. Mike slowly walked around the boat deck, flipping his phone idly in his hands. Every now and then he'd flip it open and scroll down to Kate's number, sometimes even starting a call, before closing the phone back up and staring out to sea. Mike must have done four or five circuits of Hammersley before he allowed the call to ring on Kate's end.
Heart on a hook thrown out to the sea,
your basement busy.
Sitting in the dark, I turn the radio off for a
phone call you'll likely miss.
Wake me when it's over.
The last sound of goodbye.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kate was lying back on a secluded section of beach, laughing at something Pete had just told her, when her phone started ringing. Originally, Kate just shrugged it off; she was having fun and whoever it was could leave a message. However, since Buffer was closest to the bags, he reached in and pulled out the phone.
"Kate, it's the CO," he told her, in a soft voice, holding the phone out to her. Buffer was more than a little apprehensive when it came to Kate and the CO; he knew there was a past between them, since Kate explained what had happened when she was all but passed out in her rack. She assured him that there was nothing left to dwell upon, and that she was happy with what was happening in the present. Buffer had accepted everything that Kate had told him, fully assured, but it was the CO's point of view that made him edgy. Everyone caught the longing looks that Mike gave Kate when she wasn't looking in his direction.
Kate smiled shyly over at Peter, placing her hand over his while not taking the phone. Their eyes locked and, as some faraway portion of their brains noted the mobile rang out, Kate leaned in to touch her forehead against his. "If it's urgent, he'll call back, many times. Mike can leave a message, and I'm not going anywhere," she whispered slowly, as her hand took the mobile and threw it back towards her bag. Buffer, thoroughly overjoyed by her answer, grinned widely and rolled himself over towards the X; as he settled himself, he placed a knee on either side of her small body, effectively straddling her.
"Now that was exactly what I wanted to hear," he replied in a low voice, before leaning down and capturing Kate's lips in a kiss that became quickly heated.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If this is a test
I'm losing my shit
would it kill you to care
as much as I did?
If this is a test,
I'm wasting my breath
you're a stranger I know well,
and not at all.
"Hi, this is Kate. Please leave a message," came from the phone as Mike emitted a silent sigh. He knew it had been a long shot for her to actually pick up; things were tense to say the least. And while he may be a little slow on the uptake, Mike had noticed the small change in the relationship between Kate and Buffer, just like he knew there was something more than a professional friendship between ET and Nav. Not that he would admit it to anyone, however. One thing his mind wouldn't do, though, is admit just how close they were.
"Er, yeah, Kate. It's Mike. Could you give me a call back when you have a minute? We really should talk about, erm, everything. Bye," he spoke into the phone, leaving a somewhat disjointed and awkward message for the XO to listen to. Mike grimaced and closed his phone, before leaning back against the railings of the Hammersley. The likelihood of Kate calling back was next to none, but at least he had tried. At the very least, Kate would have to talk with him once they came off shore leave.
~*~*~*~*~
Once thing Mike didn't expect, as he watched the crew all return to Hammersley, was Kate and Buffer stepping out of the same taxi, laughing. Mike's chest tightened as he saw the Buffer lean down to whisper something in Kate's ear as she placed a hand on the middle of his chest. 'That's not right' was the only thought that ran through Mike's head as he witnessed the interaction first hand. Kate was totally at ease as she lightly gripped Buffer's hand as they made their way to the Hammersley. Mike's brain was scrambling for some justification as they only parted when they needed to walk aboard. His heart was frozen as they walked in the direction of the cabins, Buffer leading Kate with a hand on the small of her back.
"Well," Mike whispered to himself as he pushed away from the railing. "No wonder my call went unanswered."
~*~*~*~*~
Mike sat in his office, looking over reports, when he saw her figure walk past. Leaping to his feet and opening the door in an instant, Mike stuck his head into the hallway and looked both ways. He spotted her right before she turned the corner.
"X!" he called out, grabbing her attention. She jumped slightly, a tiny hint of guilt flashing in her eyes before her face cleared of all emotion. Turning back towards him and walking a couple of paces, Kate's glance turn questioning.
"Yes, Commander?" she asked, lightly. "Was there something you wanted? Because I was just off to get a brew before my shift..." her voice trailed off as she saw Mike beckon her towards his office. Sighing resignedly, knowing what was coming, Kate followed the CO into the room before closing the door. This was going to be awkward.
"Let's imagine the end before we even begin,"
You said.
"Well, let's imagine the end before we even begin,"
You said, (you said), You Said
Kate stood to attention in front of the door, giving nothing away from her face or stance. Mike took one look at her before sighing and taking a seat. "You can sit, if you want," he told her, offhandedly, knowing it was unlikely she would. His guess was correct when she replied that she was fine standing. Running a hand through his hair, Mike looked up at his old flame, confusion written all over his face.
"What happened, Kate?" he asked her, softly. His voice was filled with uncertainty as he looked up into her face. In Kate's eyes, he looked as broken now as she had when he left all those years back. Thawing a little, Kate moved to take a seat. Realising she wanted some form of barrier between them, Kate flipped the chair around and straddled it; her arms were resting on the back of the chair and she slowly lowered her head to place her chin against her arms.
"You're honestly asking me what happened?" she asked, not sure whether to be outraged or not. Seeing Mike's total loss, Kate sighed; she had thought he'd know what had happened, but Kate resigned to tell him as much as she could. "You just left, Mike. And before you say anything, I know I told you to go. But I was scared. Hell, it was terrifying what I felt for you! But all the fraternisation rules and, and –" Kate's voice broke as a tear slid down her face. It was hard enough to relive all these memories when she finally told herself it was the last time. Now, to have to say it all in front of Mike was almost breaking her again.
Mike was shocked, seeing so much emotion come out of Kate as she tried to explain. He reached out a hand to place on her arm and, just as he opened his mouth to comfort her, she exclaimed loudly, in a teary voice, "I loved you, Mike! I loved you, and you just walked away!"
~*~*~
Buffer, who was sent by Nav to go looking for the X, slowly walked along the path from the bridge to her cabin. Just as he was passing the CO's quarters, he heard Kate's voice, and instantly picked up on the rugged words and tearful pitch. He instantly froze, and was about to knock when he heard words that shocked him.
"I loved you, Mike!"
Buffer stumbled away from the door, pain flittering across his face, as he turned and almost sprinted back to the bridge. Muttering a quick apology to Nav for not being able to locate the X, Buffer sat back down and threw himself into his work. Nav only spared one confused glance in his direction, resolved to ask Kate about it that evening.
~*~*~
Kate gained control over her emotions before looking back into Mike's face. "It's too late to do anything about it now, Mike. If it meant and felt half as right as it did for me, I expected you to fight for me. Instead you walked away and went on with your life. You broke me, for years," she told him in a soft voice. She slowly stood up and wiped her face, moving towards the door. Just as she put a hand on the handle to leave, Mike voiced his objection to her leaving.
If this is a test
I'm losing my shit
Would it kill you to care
As much as I did?
If this is a test,
I'm wasting my breath
You're a stranger I know well,
And not at all.
And not at all.
"No, Mike. I'm done waiting. I waited for years and now, just as I found someone who could fix me, you force me to relive one of the hardest times of my life. Grow up and move on," she told him, sternly, before turning away again. Mike stood up and quickly grabbed Kate's arm.
"So what? You were too afraid of the rules back then, but you're willing to throw it all away now?" he asked her in a low voice, trembling slightly with anger. "Don't think that I don't know about you and the Buffer. What were you thinking, X?"
Kate looked up at him, partly in anger and partly in pride. "What worries you more, Mike? That we could get kicked out because of how we feel, or that he might mean more to me than you did?" Pulling out of his grasp, Kate squared her shoulders before adding, "If you're going to play that card, then you must be willing to get rid of the Navigator and the Electrical Technician, too." Seeing his crestfallen look, she lowered her voice. "You can't have double standards, Mike. Let me move on; let me live; let someone else get close enough to me to repair the damage you caused me."
Kate turned and walked out, not once looking back. Mike watched her retreating back, feeling some small sliver of closure. He knew he wouldn't say anything or make an issue out of fraternisation on board; they were too much of a tight knit group to lose anyone. Resigned, Mike closed his door and returned to work.
You're a stranger I know well, and not at all.
AN2: I just wanted to say, HOW AWESOME WAS THIS WEEKS EP?! i was so majorly tense, i was actually feeling a little sick once it was finishedd. it was shocking and 'omg' moments throughout it :P But i must say im so more excited for next week's episode... wooh, Buffer and Kate!! lol
SO! how do you think i went? Im generally happy with it. Im not that fond of writing Mike :P i mean, i used to like him, but after there were moments between Buffer and the XO, i couldnt go back :P I will try to keep my updating somewhat consistant, but sometimes work gets in the way.
For all you out there who are reading, jsut realise that every single one of my chapters have been submitted and uploaded around the midnight hour. All of them :P Please review if you thought it was good... or if you dont like something. im open to critisism. But above all, im writing this for me. Just FYI: After the next 2 chapters, im probably going to alter the track list; (AKA, write chapters to the songs out of order). This is mainly because a couple of songs int he middle of the album are REALLY end-of-story songs.
IF YOU HAVENT LISTENED TO THE ACADEMY IS... FAST TIMES AT BARRINGTON HIGH, please do; it really is an awesome album :)
peace and love, e-ellens