Generations Chapter 6: Harry, Trunk Fondler, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer:

I whistled (no, I can't whistle in reality – but hey! It's my disclaimer) happily to myself while walking down the carpeted hallway to my blue bedroom (yes, it really is blue – my favorite color). I opened the door, expecting to see both my brand new Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter posters (I have 2 POTC and 5 HP Posters now!) but a person with shoulder-length black hair was obscuring the view. Snape! I initially thought, growing angry at the sight of him stroking my dear Harry's face (on a poster – but still). I reached out to sock him in the face but the figure turned around and it was my good friend Froggy (nickname for Casablanca Dreams)! (cough)

"I OWN HARRY POTTER! HE IS MINE!" I screeched, becoming da violent azn that I am (don't ask) Froggy's eyes grew round and her hands reached out to throttle me.

"No!" She shook me hard, effectively cutting off any circulation I may have had. "HARRY POTTER IS MINE! I POPPED HIS CHERRY (meaning 'took his virginity') FIRST!" Wow…TMI much? Deciding that I wouldn't be able to take her attitude any longer, I grabbed a hold of a nearby tiara and stabbed her in the neck with it (This is how my friend Abbi killed my other friend Jocy-Grosy at her party). She dropped dead immediately (or so I thought). Satisfied, I turned to leave. She could never own my beloved emerald-eyed hero now. Merlin, was I wrong. Before the last breath left her, Froggy snatched the tiara I dropped and pulled me down by the leg. She stabbed me in the chest twice. Within minutes, we were both dead, our red blood (well, black blood in Froggy's case) tainting the carpet of my blue bedroom. Neither of us were able to own Harry Potter.

Note: This is based off of a dream I had on May 14, 2007 at 12:59 AM.

This wasn't mentioned above either...but -sigh- I do not own the title of this chapter either. That belongs to Casablanca Dreams (and her dirty mind - tsk!)

Summary:

Every 75 years, it is said that a portal opens at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry admitting students from 20 years into the future. What happens if the portal just so happened to open during the Marauders' seventh year? Partly AU.

Chapter 6- Harry, Trunk Fondler

"What are you talking about?" Hermione questioned confusedly, staring hard at Harry. "Perhaps you're thinking this way because you simply miss –"

"No!" Harry grabbed Hermione's upper arms and shook her slightly. "She's here! I know she is! I would know! I brought her with me – remember the second trunk? The pillows…"

"You mean those pillows you asked every Gryffindor girl, me included, for? What about them?" Hermione asked, not exactly piecing it all together.

Harry just looked at her. "Well…you know…I used them to line the second trunk. So Ginny wouldn't get hurt."

Now Hermione was the one left staring. "YOU BROUGHT GINNY IN A TRUNK?!?!"

"She asked me to! What's a young, chivalrous man like me supposed to do other than grant the fair lady's wishes?"

"You forgot hormonal," Hermione snorted. "Which would then explain why you were fondling the trunk. There was a fair lady in it."

"Oy! I was not fondling anything!" Harry protested.

"No, you weren't," Hermione agreed negligently, sounding almost like Luna Lovegood. "You were merely caressing your trunk in a manner that could be considered lecherous."

"And what does 'leh-chair-us' –whichever way the word is pronounced– mean exactly?"

"Erotically suggestive, Harry."

Harry made an O.O face, and then smiled brightly. "Ah well…no one dies a virgin. In the end, life screws us all. Or in this case, trunks."

"Where did that come from?!"

"Ron."

"No wonder it doesn't make any sense."

"Professor!" Hermione hurried back into the Great Hall with Harry in tow after their conversation on the other side of the doors. The messy-haired seventeen-year-old was clutching his nose, blood dripping down his fingers due to a fresh nosebleed.

Both the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress stood up, slightly worried as to why a student had a bloody nose. Several girls gasped, not quite able to take in Harry's blood-splattered appearance either. Both James and Ron's eyes widened in worry (and amusement on the red-head's behalf).

"May I be bothered to ask what events transpired outside the Great Hall which resulted in the anomaly of young Mr. Potter's nose?" Dumbledore inquired, his lips briefly twitching in amusement. Harry looked toward the Head table and frantically shook his head, signaling 'no'. Hermione, however, either didn't notice or chose to ignore the move.

"I punched him in the nose by accident, Professor," she pulled an apologetic face, but her expression seemed a bit too fake to be real. Harry scowled, but followed along with the plan she had formulated moments before outside the Great Hall.

----

"Fine. I'll help you," Hermione gave in to Harry's wishes after watching him complete the Hokey-Pokey in a last attempt to convince her to help him get Ginny to the common room early. She would starve if they waited any longer!

Harry was about to let out a victory cheer but Hermione raised her hand to stop him. "We have to go by my plan, however."

Harry had a bad feeling that this "plan" would involve belittling his reputation. "Let's hear it then," he sighed, causing Hermione to throw him a twisted grin.

"It's really quite simple," Hermione began, "you swallow a nosebleed-nougat –I know you have one in your pocket– and say I punched you when–"

"WHAT?!" Harry knew that this was a bad idea, especially when he first saw her sadistic smile. "My reputation cannot be bested by any bookworm!"

"It's your pick, Harry. The girl…or your reputation?" aforesaid "bookworm" asked, her eyes gleaming with something Harry couldn't quite place at the moment.

"You're making this into so much more than it needs to be!" Harry cried in one last desperate attempt. Hermione merely shrugged and turned to reenter the Great Hall.

"FINE!" he yelled.

"Wonderful!" she beamed. "We'll go in, tell Dumbledore what happened, get the password for the common room, and get out as quick as we can."

"And if I'm told to go to the hospital wing?" Harry countered.

"You'll think of something."

----

"Bay we hab the bassword to da Grybbindor cobbon room?" Harry asked thickly while pinching his nose harder and regretting what he had gotten himself into. Hermione threw him a look, causing him to speak up again. "Blease? Er…I reawwy dun hab a good histowy wit da Hosbital Wing…Madame Pomfwee and I hab a love-hate relationshib, you see. She doesn't know me in 1977, and bersonally, I'd rather keep it that way."

McGonagall looked as though she was about to argue his point, but Dumbledore quickly interjected.

"Professor McGonagall has no qualms about your decision, but I do believe that she has a short announcement to make before you two take your leave," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling in such a way that made Harry feel positive that the headmaster knew what he had done.

"Oh yes…I do have something to say," McGonagall coughed and then proceeded, taking a wrinkled letter out of the folds of her emerald green robe. "According to this note I received from my elder self, the students of 1997 have yet to know who is the Head Boy and Girl is, am I right?" A small murmur of agreement rippled throughout the Hall. "Before Mr. Potter and Miss Granger take their leave, I would like to let all the students – and the staff I suppose – know that the Head Boy of 1997 is Harry Potter, and the Head Girl is Miss Granger!" The entire Hall erupted into applause. Ron's voice could be heard among the many catcalls and whistles yelling, "I knew Hermione would make it!"

While the entire Hall was cheering, McGonagall had left the head table and headed toward the newly named Head Girl and Boy, both of whom wore surprised looks (Harry's expression looked quite peculiar due to the blood covering his face).

"I believe that these are yours," she said, handing the two their badges. "You two will be sharing the Head dorms with the heads of this year. The place has been enlarged to accommodate all four of you. The password is 'Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis'."

Silence fell between the Heads and their Transfiguration professor.

"What da hell?!?"

Hermione slapped Harry's arm, and hissed "Language!"

"Fine." Harry pouted. "Can you blease at least write it down, Professa?" McGonagall withdrew a piece of parchment from her robe and scribbled the word down (Harry was surprised that she knew how to spell it) before sending them off.

"Dhanks!" Harry grinned as Hermione summoned both her and Harry's trunks. The two bounded out of the Great Hall as quickly as they could, stopping only once (outside the doors of the Great Hall) so Harry could swallow the other end of the Nosebleed Nougat.

After five minutes of wandering, the two realized that they didn't know where the Head Dorms were.

"Puh-new-mow-no-ul-truh-mi-croh-scoh-pic-si-li-coh-vol-ca-no-con-o-sis?" Harry tried.

"I'm sorry, darling. Still not the password," the portrait responded tiredly. After Hermione had reentered the Great Hall to ask McGonagall where the Head Rooms were, both Lily and James offered to show her the way instead. Now that they had arrived, Harry was trying fruitlessly to properly pronounce the password.

"Puh-nu-mo-no-ul-tra-mi-cro-sco-pic-si-li-co-vol-cay-no-con-ee-o-sis?"

"Honestly, Harry. The 'p' is silent," Hermione interrupted before the portrait could deny them access once more. James looked slightly taken back; he hadn't known that tidbit of information…one more similarity between him and his son!

"Tell me, Hermione, which 'p'?" Harry ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Lily couldn't help but let out a small smile.

He looks kinda cute when he gets all aggravated…

Lily shook her head to get rid of the sudden thought, not exactly knowing if she thought it at all (it was so unlike her), and laid a hand on his arm.

"Let me do it," she said gently. "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis." The portrait finally swung open after fifteen minutes of trying.

"When I last entered, I simply showed the portrait a slip of parchment with the word on it…" James faded off as Lily turned to give him a glare.

"It's always better to try and pronounce a new word when you come across one! You really should learn from your son; at least he attempted," Lily tsked before leading Harry into the common room, her hand still on his arm. James looked affronted at her comment and eyed Lily's hand with something akin to envy. Hermione pushed him in and followed, levitating three trunks and heaving a sigh. Harry merely followed his mother's lead, feeling very awkward.

A/N: Sorry about the chapter length…my beta Casablanca Dreams decided that she was feeling hungry, and ATE THE REST OF THE CHAPTER…and she took forever beta-ing what little she DIDN'T eat of it. So blame her for everything.

Heh…many have questioned me about the beta issue…I now have TWO betas, instead of the (extremely whiny) one I had previously!

A small thanks to Kimmy, my second (new) beta, for her comment about no one dying a virgin because life screws us all (I think she was talking from experience here…not sure), AidenBlade for introducing me to the word 'Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' (yup, it's a word), and Miss Whiskers for introducing me to the word 'lecherous' (means the same as lewd apparently…dunno why she didn't say that from the start…) No thanks goes out to Casablanca Dreams.

Oh, and REVIEW! For all you ignorant people who DID review this chapter (which was over 35 readers) previously, DO IT AGAIN. It would be nice to have over 52 reviews for a chapter this time :) If anyone has any good disclaimer suggestions, feel free to include them in reviews or PM me…I'm running low. And try not to give me an idea as long as the one I had for this chapter…I don't think you guys (or girls) would enjoy that too much…

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Today was my average day. I woke up, went to school, came home, did homework, ate, ran around like a fool, went on fanfiction etc. etc. Cool. I was surfing through the different fics, looking to see if there was a worthwhile one I could read…when one caught my attention.

The Portal Through Time by Moonlights Shadows.

Hmm…interesting name. I recognized the author as being one that had my story on alerts. I read the summary.

Every 100 years a portal is opened at Hogwarts School it alows the eldest students in the school to travel back 20 years in the past.What if it opened in 1997 and all 7th years along with Harry Potter were to go back to 1977.How will he react?Eventual HxG

Okay…this sounds awfully familiar. I read my own summary.

O.O Was it me or was this girl trying to rip me off? A portal that opens in Harry's seventh year, transporting him and his yearmates 20 years to the past to 1977? I could've SWORN that I came up with that idea…I tripled checked before even posting my fic!

Okay…I'm seriously pissed. I tried to read this travesty of a story, but found I couldn't. I pray to Merlin that my story is better…

Moonlights Shadows, if your best friend says you're too intelligent for your own good, rub those two fifteen-year-old brain cells you have together and produce something original! If you find yourself incapable of such a simple task, then at least have the galls (see? I respected the fact that you are a girl and did not use the word 'balls' in place) to tell your readers that you were inspired from a FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD as a replacement for the following:

Hey, I was just lounging around in my room like… I think it must have been a year ago now, in February… 2006… dunno…. Well any way I was just sitting around in my room like ages ago when I had this idea for a time travel story, I love time travel stories, so I wrote it all down on paper but now, after much coaxing to write it up on my laptop, from my friend, BlueMagykDragon, I finally got it typed up to put on fanfiction. So! Here it is, I hope you all enjoy it!

As for those that reviewed 'The Portal Through Time', I recognized some of you as my own readers. If you loved this girl's story so much that you decided not to let anyone know, just stop reading Generations and enjoy hers. My story will not be second place to one that's a rip-off of my basic outline.

Since you've been around for less than a month with an account, let me tell you something Moonlights Shadows: Fanfiction is a harsh world.

Other than that, hope everyone went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean! I saw it twice…and yes, I stayed after the credits!

Sigh…it's times like these when I really wish I had a bigger vocabulary…

Pooja

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Moonlights Shadows, I'm sorry you had to take your story down. I think I'm fine if you wanna put it up again…just give me credit for the stuff…you know…another girl PMed me, asking if they could kind of use a similar idea, and I was alright with it.