Slamming the door shut behind him, he strode over to his desk quickly and slumped down onto the chair furiously. If anyone could see Severus Snape at this moment, they would be running for their lives. His features were etched into a look of pure disgust and his eyes were ablaze with fury. There was a powerful presence to him, as if his anger seemed to be pouring out of him, making him seem like a walking bomb. He was definitely not in his best mood.
Severus tried to catch his irregular breath and calm himself down. He could not let himself loose control like this, it wasn't good. Too late... a spiteful voice retorted in his head. It was true. Tonight Severus had truly lost control, something which didn't occur too often. He didn't know what had made him do it, nor did he care. All he knew was that he was stupid enough to let his guard down for that one moment, and it had ruined everything! Severus Snape did not ever leave his guard down! So why the bloody hell had he done so tonight? What spell had that stupid witch put on him that had made him ask her to not go...
It all had started with her visit three weeks ago. He had not been expecting her. As a matter of fact, she was completely out of his mind at that point. He had worked relentlessly on forgetting her throughout the past five years and, with his old skill to block his mind to anything he needed to block out, he had shoved her into a corner of his brain that was rarely ever used. He had put her away for good, knowing that there was no reason to dwell on something that didn't exist anymore, so he had forced himself to forget her. But what he did not expect, was to see her ever again. At least not so soon.
But he had been in his classroom, making some pepper-up potion for Madam Pomfrey when he heard someone knock. He had been expecting the inspector so without thinking twice about it he told them to enter. When somebody stepped in and closed the door, he did not look up, but kept brewing his potion. What had frozen him was the sound of her voice. "Good evening, Professor." He hadn't needed to look up to know it was her. A sudden shiver had rushed through his body that he had recognized as shock. After he had recovered, he had looked up at her.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw before him. She had grown. Her curls were now longer, hanging just below her breasts. Her face had lost the childish look. Her features had refined and matured, making her look like the beautiful woman he had known she would be. She had grown a little, too. Her body, even though she was in robes, looked fuller and riper. He hadn't let her see that he had been looking at her and instead voiced his surprise at seeing her here. He could not for his life remember what explanation she had given him, for something else she said had punched him in the stomach. She told him to call her "Mrs Weasley." He had known that she married the weasel, something like two war heroes marrying eachother could not be kept out of the papers, but it still felt like he didn't much appreciate calling her by his name.
After that she had begun to give him the ridiculously stupid inspection questions, all the while stuttering in her nervousness. He knew that coming to him made her nervous and that she had seriously debated not showing up, that was clear in her eyes. But the perfectionist inside her had prevented her from skipping him. With a lot of effort, he had forced his voice to be cold and harsh as always. He didn't show any sign of recognizing his former lover until the very last moment. He didn't know what made him ask it, but he had done it anyways. He was already mad at showing weakness at that point. This, this was worse.
When he saw her at the lake tonight, it had been different. He had once again been surprised to see her. She was the last person he expected to catch. But he put up his normal act of indifference and harshness. Everything went fine until she had spoken those words. She had said that she didn't like the sound of her new surname on his lips. At first, Snape had gotten deep satisfaction out of it. He had liked that he found something to bother her with. But the look she gave him made him forget what he had been thinking at all. It was like she was looking at him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. He wasn't used to that. And the sadness he could fully well see in hers didn't make it easier. He had seen pain, desperation and loneliness behind those orbs, and it had done something strange to him. Then he spoke those words that ruined his composure. "Don't go..."
Snape gave out an angry yell and slammed his fist onto his desk. He had been weak! Something he despised beyond all other thing. Weakness was for love-struck fools. He thanked Merlin that she had been in her senses and denied the request. He did not know what he would've done had she stayed. There was no way he wanted to spend the night with a foolish little prat like her. And he knew that it would be bad for her as well. She was finally married, had an good job, and had built her life around the morals she had always kept herself to. Staying with him would ruin that for her, he knew that. So she had done the smart thing.
Snape closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. This was simply not acceptable. He had worked so hard, for five years, to forget her existence. To let her go. Yet she shows up twice in one month after five years and he becomes weak. Unethical. It was not to happen again. He would need to show her, that is if he saw her again, that he was not an old, weak fool, but still a strict and in-control man. He was not going to ever be weak again.
"Don't go... Don't go..." the words rung in her head, as if on repeat. What had he meant by that? Why did he ask her to stay? What would have happened if I did?Hermione asked herself over and over again. She tried to play out the different scenarios in her mind, but in all of them, they ended up somehow the same. A blush crept up her cheeks and she shook the thought from her mind. She wasn't a stupid schoolgirl anymore. She was a married woman. This was unacceptable. Her heart was still pounding in her chest and her tear-stained face was now extremely dry. Her eyes were wide and stung with their strain to produce more tears to catch up to her wild emotions.
I did the right thing... She kept telling herself. I walked away... But she couldn't deny the fact that she hadn't wanted to stay with all her might. What would've happened if she had acted on his words, she did not know. But it had taken all her strength to walk away. Afterwards she had apparated home and flung herself on her bed at once, letting herself breakdown for the second time that month. It had been nearly an hour now and she had just run out of tears.
Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. A sudden tiredness washed over her but she didn't dare fall asleep. Not after the dreams had started again. A certain anger built up in her. Why was she so weak? Why was she letting herself give into these foolish dreams again? This is what had started so long ago. And back then she had been weak, too. She had let the dreams take over her and let them lead her down a path that now caused her pain beyond belief. She was still mystified on why she was suffering this much. After all, she didn't love the man. So why did seeing him affect her so much? Why did she care so much?!
She groaned in frustration and turned over on her pillow. No. She told herself. You will never be weak again. Not after what it took you to forget about him. Not after what you went through in order to get over him. Hermione had made up her mind. She would never let herself become all emotional when she was around him. That is, if she was around him. She hadn't seen him once in five years, but in the past month alone she seemed to have seen him twice already. So if there was even the smallest chance that she saw him again, Hermione knew she couldn't let her guard down. No. She had to resist this.
The door to her bedroom opened. Ron's finally home. Hermione turned on the bed to look at him. He was taking off his robes and getting undressed for the night. When he caught her looking at him, wide awake, he smiled.
"I didn't know you were awake." He spoke softly. Once undressed to only his boxers he walked over to her and climbed into bed. He smiled at her and gave her a kiss. "What a nice suprise."
"I couldn't sleep." Hermione answered truthfully. She wasn't worried why her husband was home so late. Many friday nights him and Harry went out for drinks after work to celebrate the end of a stressful week. She forced a smile on her face. "I think I need something to knock the energy out of me."
Ron's smile grew into a grin. "I think I could think of a thing or two that would do that..." And with that, he covered her body with his and kissed her deeply. Hermione sighed in relief. Some distraction was good. Now she had to make sure that it was her husband she thought of while making love.
Weeks passed by and Hermione returned to her normal life. She went to work everyday, came home at six, and had dinner with her husband. Some days they went to the Burrow, and somedays they went to visit Harry and Ginny in Godric's Hollow. It was nice. She was constantly kept busy and thus successfully put the recent events out of her mind. At least during the day.
Her and Ron became closer as each week went by, because Hermione had set her mind on pushing Snape out of it completely. So her and Ron began having sex more often. She hoped that if she was satisfied with her husband, she wouldn't dream of thinking of any other man. Unfortunately, that only partially worked. As Ron was very loving in bed, he wasn't extremely skilled. He was completely unselfish and made sure that Hermione got as much satisfaction as him. But often times he wasn't very good at achieving this goal. Hermione in return, feeling guilty that she couldn't reach her finish, would fake it for him. This completely fooled him and he finished happily, thinking they had both gotten what they wanted. It usually didn't worry Hermione. Over the years she had expected to have lesser orgasms and the importance of sex in her life had decreased by a lot. She felt that she didn't need to be sexually satisfied to be happy.
Only lately, it was bothering her more than ever. During the nights, Hermione would still be constantly bothered by dreams that woke her up sweaty and heavy with arousal. Even her attempts at waking Ron and getting him to fulfill her pleasure didn't work. She was getting more and more frustrated by each night, but refused to admit this to herself. She chose to ignore the panging need in between her legs and focused her mind on other things. Who needed good sex anyway? It didn't matter, as long as her husband loved her, which Ron did plenty of.
Hermione sighed, sitting at her desk and looking over the applications. She needed to focus on looking at the applicants right now, so she could finally get herself a new secretary. She really was starting to get overwhelmed by her work. It sort of reminded her of her third year, when she barely slept in order to finish all her schoolwork. She smiled to herself, thinking of her Hogwarts days. Knock knock. Hermione looked up. That would be her first applicant.
Hermione's mood only seemed to get worse as she interviewed each of the witches, even some wizards. All of them seemed to be fresh out of Hogwarts and looking for something to do while they figured out what they wanted to do with their lives. Unfortunately, none of them seemed very smart. One girl hadn't gotten a single N.E.W.T. and only scraped 2 OWLs before that, while another wizard could barely stop stuttering out of excitement and had managed to knock over large piles of parchments and spray ink all over them in the process. Finally, Hermione interviewed her last applicant. Her name was Avicia Adrian. She seemed smart enough, with 6 N.E.W.T.s and 12 OWLs and seemed very organised and polite. Realizing that she was the best option at hand, Hermione didn't hesitate to hire her. Honest to Merlin, she had been a relief.
Finally getting that out of the way, Hermione decided it was time to get home. It was only four, but she couldn't handle anything more. Her brain seemed fried and she wanted to curl up with her book for a couple of hours before she went to the Burrow with Ron. So she grabbed all her belongings and five minutes later she was in the atrium, ready to disapparate.
"Hermione!" A voice rang from behind her. Hermione took a deep breath and sighed. She knew that voice all too well. "Hermione, how glad am I to catch you!"
Hermione plastered a fake smile and turned around to come face to face with the Minister of Magic himself, Fagus Belindale. He had taken a loving to Hermione, Harry and Ron ever since they began working at the ministry. He managed to find them at the most inappropriate times. "Minister." Hermione greeted him as warmly as she could manage. "How nice to see you."
"Likewise, likeways, Hermione." He said joyfully. Hermione looked at the miserably short and plump man in front of her. He was wearing bright green robes that didn't flatter his round belly and seemed to make his balled head shine even more. "How are you holding up? Heard it's really busy for you folk these days."
"Oh, it's nothing we can't manage." Hermione replied in a strained voice. She really wanted to get going, but she knew it was near impossible to get rid of this old man.
"Always so modest!" Belindale exclaimed happily, admiration clear in his eyes. Hermione had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.
"Yes, well if you excuse me, I was just getting ready to-"
"Don't be silly, dear!" Belindale interrupted her. He had grabbed her by her arm and was now dragging her towards the middle of the atrium. "I was just getting ready to take a little trip to Hogwarts. You know, just to check in with the teachers. Headmistress McGonnagal was kind enough to invite me to dinner. I insist that you accompany me!"
Hermione's eyes widened in shock. That was the last place that she wanted to be. "Oh, Minister, how kind!" She said quickly. "But I cannot accept, you see I have plans to eat with my husband and his family this evening."
"Well, it's only four!" He argued. "Hogwarts dinner starts early, you know. We'll be in and out in a jiffy." He dragged her a little further. "Now stop trying to find excuses and apparate with me."
"Minister, I-"
"I won't take no for an answer!" He interrupted again, but this time his voice was a little bit more stern and his grip tightened. Hermione sighed in resignation.
"Shall we go then?" She asked half-heartedly. Belindale beamed at her.
"We shall."
Half an hour later, Hermione found herself in McGonnagal's office once more. Behind her, the Minister and McGonnagal were making small talk, while she was crouched over a piece of parchment with a quill in her hand. She was writing to Ron, letting him know that she would meet him at the Burrow. She explained that she had been dragged off to Hogwarts with the Minister and might be a little late. Quickly finishing up, she tied the note to the leg of an owl that had been called down for her from the owlery, and watched it while it flew away.
"I believe it's time for dinner, yes?" She heard Belindale exclaim behind her. She turned around and smiled. Just then she heard about a hundred footsteps in the halls, signifying that afternoon classes had just gotten out and were making their ways down to the great hall for dinner.
"I do believe so." McGonnagal replied. "Let us go."
And so the three made their way down, meeting Professor Flitwick and Sprout on the way down. They joined into the conversation joyously. Hermione really seemed to be the only one not enjoying herself. No matter how hard she tried, her eyes kept flickering around to see if she could spot... Stop it Hermione! You are being ridiculous...Finally, they had reached the hall, which was already filled with food and students, and made their way over to the staff table. As soon as Hermione and Belindale arrived, they saw that the table magically elongated itself to fit two more people in.
"Hermione, why don't you take the seat on the opposite side of the Headmistress." Batula said, pointing towards the chair. "This way we'll both be able to sit by her." Hermione went over, now sitting towards the left of her former teacher. On her left was the only chair open on the staff table. Hermione had a nervous feeling in her stomach. She leaned forward and looked from her left to her right. It felt like someone had punched her on the stomach. The only teacher who wasn't at the table yet was -
"Oh, how nice of you to join us, Severus!" Belindale had stood up excitedly to shake the hand of Severus Snape, who was now standing behind McGonnagal's chair. Hermione swallowed. She hadn't seen him enter.
"Minister." Snape replied curtly, shaking his hand. "I didn't know we would be joined by guests. What a pleasant suprise." He didn't sound pleased at all. His eyes left Belindale and wandered over to McGonnagal, passed her as well and landed on - Hermione gulped.
"This is Hermione Granger, Severus." Belindale exclaimed excitedly. He threw Hermione a brief look, clearly wondering why she hadn't stood to greet the potions master herself. Hermione stood up hesitantly. "But surely you know her. Why she must've been one of your students five years ago!" Belindale beamed from one to the other. The excitement of this man should really be banned, Hermione thought.
"Yes," drawled Snape. His eyes didn't leave hers. "I know Miss Granger very well." Hermione restrained herself from gasping. She also didn't fail to notice he hadn't called her 'Mrs Weasley' again. Hermione extended a shaky hand, knowing that they were expected to shake hands. But nothing could prepare her for the feeling that cursed through her when their hands met. It was as if a shot of electricity had gone up her hand, onto her spine and down to her... The shake lasted less than a second, for both party let go as if electrocuted. Hermione cleared her throat and turned away from Belindale, who was still beaming at them both, and Snape. She took her seat once again, not daring to look up at anybody. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply once and looked up again.
"Are you quite all right, Hermione?" McGonnagal asked her, giving her a slightly curious look. Hermione was very aware that Snape had now seated himself beside her. "You seem a bit flushed."
Hermione wished with all her might that she could make time go back and prevent the Headmistress from saying those words. She knew very well that Snape had heard everything, as he was right by them. This was not helping her new plan to act as normal as possible whenever around him. But her heart wasn't helping much either. Neither was her stomach.
"Oh, yes!" Hermione said quickly. "It's just a little hot in here, don't you think?" She asked. Now that she was thinking about it, her face did seem to be overheating a bit. She quickly loosened the straps of her robe. Instead of waiting for a reply, however, she quickly turned to the table, which was now laden with food. It looked as delicious as ever, but Hermione didn't have much of an apatite at the moment.
Conversation broke out almost instantly around her, as the Minister, Headmaster and the rest of the staff began filling their plates and cups. Hermione wasn't listening. The pounding of her heart was deafening and her stomach was doing backflips. It was hard for her to breathe. She was only very aware of one thing, which happened to be the person sitting to her left. Snape had now filled his plate, although Hermione noticed only a little, and had began eating. Once in a while he would answer briskly to a question the Minister asked him, or nod to his left, where Professor Sprout made little comments to him. Once or twice, she felt him shift next to her, as if uncomfortable himself. With only a few inches in between him and herself, Hermione found it very hard to think of anything else. Hermione kept her head, looking slightly more to her left in an attempt to not have to see him. The words that were spoken to her barely registered and she had a hard time focusing on what the Minister was asking.
"...has never failed to please, aren't I right, Hermione?" The Minister's voice had gradually become louder and only now had she realized she was being addressed. She looked up. McGonnagal and Belindale were both staring at her. Hermione had the inkling that someone else was looking her way, as well. She blushed crimson at being caught unattended and was speechless for just a second.
"Err.... yes, Minister." She said quickly, thinking of nothing else. "Always satisfactory..." Her voice died away and she looked down. But apparently this was good enough for Belindale, for he continued excitedly on in his apparently very interesting story.
Glad she had escaped, Hermione sighed a breath of relief and slumped into her chair. "Are you quite sure, you're all right, Hermione?" Suprised, Hermione looked up to see that McGonnagal was now looking at her questioningly once again. "You seem a bit distracted. And you haven't touched a bit of dinner." Hermione had a feeling her professor was trying to look into her eyes with just a little too much intensity. She needed to leave.
"Oh, now that you mention it," Hermione said, sliding her chair back a little. "I feel a bit queasy. I think I'm going for a walk." She stood up and smiled at McGonnagal.
Belindale had looked up as Hermione had gotten up and beamed at her again. "Hermione, please do stay close. I want to apparate back to the Ministry with you. I have a couple of cases I would like to discuss before you retire for the night." He said quickly.
It took all her might to not glare at the Minister. Now she knew why he had dragged her along to Hogwarts. There was something he wanted to discuss with her today and wanted to prevent her from going home just yet. A great pang of annoyance spread through her and she simply smiled and nodded before walking away. She crossed the hall as fast as she could and did the same with the Entrance Hall. Soon enough, she was standing on the grounds of Hogwarts castle once again. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She could feel her muscles relaxing already. Yes, fresh air always did her good.
She began walking, not knowing where her feet were taking her. Her mind still abuzz, but she tried her hardest to ignore it. She didn't want to think about it anymore. She had already wasted too much time of her life thinking about it. Thinking about him. She couldn't continue to do so. So she walked, trying to forget it all. She just kept her feet moving, not knowing where she was going, but did not resist. It felt enlightening. It felt as though walking would clear her troubles, so she didn't stop. But something strong, something urgent, was spreading throughout Hermione the more she walked. It wasn't a feeling, to be exact. It was different. Way different. It seemed to her to be the knowledge of something.
She stopped. She had reached the edge of the forest. She was standing by the lake near a spot where she had often seen Harry sit all alone, when he was particularly upset or lonely. The thing that had engulfed her from within was stronger than ever and pressed against her. It was nearly unbearable and it took all her effort to not let it explode inside her, for if it did, she knew the results would be bad. Hermione once again closed her eyes and breathed in deep. She needed to calm herself down. But then a voice came from behind her that did nothing to help the matter.
"Miss Granger."
Hermione spun around. His voice was quiet yet clear. She stared at him for a moment, then seemed to come to her senses and relaxed he posture.
"I've been sent to summon you to the Headmistress' office." Hermione could hear the resentment in his voice. He didn't like the idea of being used as a messenger. Hermione figured he had had enough of that for a lifetime.
"Right." Was all she said in reply. They began walking. As they walked, Hermione felt that pressing bubble inside her again. She tried her hardest to ignore it, but it wasn't working very well. As they walked, Hermione noticed he put a deliberate distance between them. They were almost even in step, him slightly in front of her, but there was an awkward four or five feet in between them. Hermione realized this was a symbol that there was nothing in between them. Yet to her, it seemed a little exaggerated. She felt it would be more obvious that they were walking so far apart, rather then if they were walking at a normal distance from each other.
Hesitantly, she moved a little closer to him. Now there was only about three feet in between them. He didn't react. Hermione tested him further by swaying her path and closing the distance to about two feet. It was then that she saw him glance back at her slightly. He distanced himself a little more. For some strange reason, this annoyed Hermione. Stubbornly, she once again moved closer. He repeated the process of walking further away, yet she refused to let him control the situation. After all, she could walk wherever she pleased. She took another step, slightly sidewards, but this time over measuring it and landing so close to him that their arms nearly touched.
The next thing she knew, Snape had spun towards Hermione, grabbing her upped arm in the process and blocking her way completely with his body. Had his grip on her not been extremely tight, she would've walked right into him.
"Whatdo you think you're doing, Miss Granger?" Snape hissed down at her, his face contorted in anger. Hermione was shocked to see him so angry, yet that was washed from her mind at the realization of how close they were standing to each other. Her breath hitched.
"I - I -" She didn't know what to say. Her voice seemed to not make its way out of her throat.
"Are you going to explain to me, or do you prefer stuttering?" His tone was icy, but when his breath hit her face, Hermione lost all control. Her knees weakened and her mind spun. She was becoming increasingly light headed and thought she might pass out at any moment. A sudden fire erupted inside her that she recognized all too well and there was no strength inside her to attempt to stop it from spreading. The fire took over her senses and all she could do was try to keep on breathing. Yet this was proving disadvantageous as well, because her nostrils filled with his aroma, which reminded her of only one thing. Mind-blowing sex.
Even in her hazy mind, she saw his expression changing. The lust she was feeling must be apparent on her face, she thought, for Snape was now looking a cross between confused and intrigued. His grip on her arm didn't slacken, but only held her tighter. Her eyelids were drooping to the point where her sight could only focus on the face in front of her. She was barely able to process anything in her brain. The only thing that seemed to be working properly was telling her to close the distance between her and the man in front of him. But she didn't need to act on her own accord, because the hand that was holding her was now guiding her closer to her goal. She could see and feel his burning gaze upon her. Hermione felt her knickers dampen. They were so close now. She could feel his breath on her lips... They were mere centimeters away... Oh God...
"There you are, Hermione!"
The couple shot away from each other as if they had been electrocuted. There was now a good few feet in between them and each of them was looking at the approaching figure of Belindale, trying to look as innocent as possible. Hermione kept her eyes away from Snape as much as possible.
"I know I sent Severus to fetch you, but I figured it is time for us to depart." He had finally reached them and smiled at Snape. "So sorry to have bothered you, Severus."
"It was my pleasure, Minister." She heard him drawl. Hermione thought she could see his eyes flicker over at her for a split second before he continued addressing the Minister. "I'm afraid I must get going, as well. Good evening, Minister." He bowed his head slightly. Hermione dared to steal him a glance. "Miss Granger." He avoided her eyes and then briskly turned towards the castle and began walking away from the two.
Belindale watched him retreat for a few seconds before turning to Hermione. "Brilliant man, Severus. But a bit stiff and unfriendly, don't you agree?" He asked her. Hermione only nodded and smiled a small, fake laugh. The Minister's expression changed as he beamed at her. "Shall we go, then?" Hermione only nodded again. Taking this as a sign he began to walk towards the entrance gates.
Hermione exhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She inhaled again, in an attempt to calm her nerves, before opening them and walking after the Minister, not daring to look back at the castle. That had been a close call.
And so there's the third chapter for you! I know there's no smut yet, but trust me its well on its way for you who are impatiently waiting for it. After my last story I dare not disappoint. ;)
Please don't forget to review!!!
xoxomrshmalfoyxoxo