Love Notes 9

What the hell?! What happened to I want you Isabella Swan. What happened to him chanting my name?! Huh? Huh? That's what I want to know.

One minute we're having the hottest make out session. He's finally giving me what I want. Finally giving into me. Finally loosing that all-so perfect self control. Finally becoming a not-so perfect Edward.

Then BAM! Back to freaking noble, respectful, gentlemen Edward.

God damnit!

I was lying in my bed, huffing at my thoughts. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't even start something then I wouldn't be tortured to death. Thinking of all those things those skilled hands could do….But if he didn't I would die of combustion. He's just so sexy! Why couldn't he have just gone hunting that day, then everything would have worked out. He wouldn't have stopped right when he was two seconds away from finally going to touch me. Touch me where I needed him. But nooooooo he was too freaked out, and apparently my blood smells extra good when im horny.

I hate that I blushed at that.

I really do.

I sighed as the flashback repeated in my mind, again.

He came at me, like an animal ready to devour me. His eyes a haze of lust, desire, and need. I succumbed under him, whimpering as his hands grabbed a fistful of my breasts. He ripped my bar open, looked at me for a spilt second as if an apology, as if him ripping my bra off wasn't the sexiest act in the world, then moved his hand down to my mounds.

"I wish I could, could touch you. Could take you into my mouth. God I wish I could…" He moaned, he sounded so desperate, tracing my nipple over and over again. My pelvis rose automatically, reaching for release, needing more. "I don't want to risk it…God I want to, I want to taste you." I moaned aloud at that last statement. I wanted to feel that slick cold rough tongue against my nipple. Sucking it. I moaned at my dirty thoughts.

"Please, god I want to feel you." I don't know how I made out a sentence, but it made him groan in frustration. I thought it was no use.

Then I felt it, lightly licking against my mound. He pushed harder into me, making me almost scream. This was so much. I felt like I was going to explode. He took it into his whole mouth, sucking it as hard as he could without hurting me. He pulled back for a second, "I want to bite it, god I can't wait till you're changed. God I cant wait." He was speaking so fast, I barely made it out. He went to the other breast, squeezing my nipple was just licking. It was rock hard. "Bella." He started chanting again. I reached my hips up again, and then I felt him. Hard against my thigh. I groaned and pushed against it. He stopped his attacks on my breasts. Resting his head and squeezing his eyes tight. "Shit."

Scratch that, him cursing was the hottest act in the world. I began rubbing against him, he wouldn't stop moaning. He started grabbing the arm rests, digging his fingers into it. "God damnit Bella, stop. Please stop."

"No" I reached my hands down, warning him with my eyes. I slowly ran my hand down the front of his dark jeans. "Fuck." He unzipped my jeans, then unbuttoned them in record time. I thought I was going to finally going to get the release I deserved. He buried his head into my neck. His hand gently grazed the outside of my panties.

Then he jumped off me. And onto the drivers side. He put back on his clothes. Through me mine, mumbled 'I can't. I'm sorry' and then started to drive. The most awkward car ride of my life.

When we got to my house he explained that he had almost lost control of the monster, that he needed to hunt, and that he was sorry he couldn't finish what he started. And not to expect him back till tomorrow morning or afternoon.

So now im lying here in my bed, seriously thinking of 'self serving' if you catch my drift. My hand is traveling south as we speak.

BUZZ!!

God damnit!! I really need to figure out how to change that setting… My hand goes up to my nightstand and flips it open.

EDWARD

Bella im so sorry. I can make it up to you though.

Hunpf, I started to reply. But I didn't know what to say. I could say, 'I can't imagine that' because that sounds bitchy I could say 'really. Do tell' but that sounds like im happy. And im really quiet pissed. Hmmmm…

BUZZ!

Bella I know your mad at me. It's understandable. But I can make it up to you.

How?

Are you lying down in your bed?

Yes.

What are you wearing?

Seriously Edward? I don't even want to answer that.

Ok, yea I do.

My underwear and I shirt you left here.

Let's see what he makes of that.

Perfect.

What the hell do I say to that?! 'Yep' ??? Honestly…then I started laughing. Can you imagine Edward hunching over a phone, punching in little numbers texting? I found that hilarious.

I've gone insane. This is what happens when someone is sexually frustrated for too long.

Edward this is all your fault.

I want you to take your hands and do what I tell you to imagine. Imagine my big ice cold hand running down your chest, heading to your sweet clit.

That shut me up.

I did what he told me.

Then run that clit, in tiny circles. Dip your fingers into those lips, bring your essence to your mouth now. Taste yourself for me. I want to taste you."

I could not have resisted doing that even if I wanted to. I dragged my fingers to my lips and gently licked.

Tell me how you taste Bella. Describe it to me.

He expected me to text during this?? I was having trouble breathing!

Good.

Give me more than that Bella.

I can't.

Tell me how your essence taste. Tell me now.

Bitter sweet, hot, and salty.

You sound so delicious.

This man is going to make me loose my mind.

Go back to your soaking wet lips, rub your little mound. Over and over again.

I did as he asked. It felt so good.

Are you imagining my cold hand making you moan? Me making you loose yourself from the pleasure?

God yes.

I want you Isabella Swan. I want you right now.

Then where the fuck are you?! Ugh, use that god damn vampire speed and get your amazing talented hands over here!

I wanted to text that, but I was too afraid of his reaction. And I don't think I had enough gall to actually text that to him.

Bella you are making me so hard for you.

Apparently he found no problem with texting things like that though.

"Then get over here." My hand was still rubbing myself madly, and I suppose my thoughts slipped out. His shirt I was wearing was thrown over on the floor, my panties pulled down.

Then they were ripped off my body.

"Why ahead of you baby."

Edwards's smooth velvet voice washed over me.

Oh. My. God. Edwards's hands were all over me. Oh. My. God. Edward was standing right in front of me. My naked form. Oh shit.

At the moment though my embarrassment didn't even concern me though. Because my amazing ass kicking, gorgeous, Greek god, fiancé was FINALLY touching me!

Yes, I FINALLY changed this story to M. Sorry to all you fans of the T rating...it just had to go. Especially where this story is going....

Thank you so much for being patient. Im going through a divorce at the time, the hits just keep coming, so im so sorry for the loing wait.

jeeze i almost forgot....something in a little EPOV will come your way if you review....;)

Thanks again,

-Jenna