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Chapter 4

In the cafeteria, Edward and I sat at a table of our own, away from our family. I wasn't about to let Rosalie have her chance to keep whispering death threats to us, but unfortunately, I could hear them with Edward's help.

I am so going to tear you both limb from limb! Putting everything we have here at risk, selfish! She kept on thinking nearly the same things.

"Shut up!" I whispered at vampire speed. "Just shut up, will you! For the love of all that is good, leave us alone or so help me and I will tear you limb from limb!" Carlisle may be coven leader, but I was second in command and whenever he wasn't around, it was me in charge; that included school.

I heard Emmett and Alice chuckle then immediately stop when Rose glared at them, but she did stop . . . for now.

Thanks. Edward thought.

No problem. She doesn't scare me, but I bet she wished she did.

Edward was thinking about Bella more and how he wanted to see her.

I'm a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker. Edward thought miserably.

Your not a stalker . . . well, maybe you are, but obsessed, no and vampire, defiantly.

Easy for you to say.

No, it isn't. I was in your position before, but you're actually doing something about it.

Chemistry went about as well as it could and Spanish began as normally as possible.

I hope you have a good explanation for what happened today. Rose is on a warpath. Emmett thought.

"What else is new?" I muttered.

Look out for Jasper, Emmett continued. He's not as angry . . . but he's more resolved.

I saw what Jasper intended to do through Emmett. I heard Edward starting to get really mad.

SHEESH, EDWARD! GET A GRIP! Emmett shouted in his head as he grabbed Edward's arm to stop him from getting up.

I grabbed his other arm and we both just held him in place, using our full strength, but not daring to push down in case Edward's chair broke.

EASY! Emmett thought. Jasper's not going to do anything until we talk. I just thought you should know the direction he's headed.

We loosened our grips when Edward began to relax.

Try not to make more of a spectacle of yourself. You're in enough trouble as it is. Emmett thought.

Edward took a deep breath and Emmett and I let go of his arms. Some students were staring at us, but what else was new? The Cullens were freaks - everyone knew that.

Emmett must of thought something, because Edward's reply was, "Bite me."

Emmett chuckled lowly. He wasn't one to hold grudges, but he thought Jasper's plan the best course of action.

Edward looked worried, most likely about what we would face at home, when we, and everyone in our family, could be themselves.

I'm with you, Edward, no matter what. It'll play out like all other meetings we've had, Esme won't be mad and neither will Carlisle, Alice will make her decision based on what she sees, Emmett's already forgiven us, Jasper will do what ever Alice says and since when has Rosalie cared about anyone but herself? We'll get to stay here until it's time to move on. I was trying to encourage him, to remind him that I was in this as much as he was.

"But who will side with us." Edward muttered.

Carlisle, he'll side with us. He's always been there for me and he won't change that now, Esme . . . she won't be against us, but she won't be with us. She'll try to keep us all here, together and she just wants to see you happy. I've told you about the others already, but I'm pretty sure Alice will be with us.

The bell rang and the three of us went to the Volvo. I stayed close to Edward to use his ability and for protection - the look on Jasper's face hurt me, the glare he gave us was painful to see. After Alice, I was his best friend. I tried to hide my emotions like always, but he could feel them still. I tried to focus on his thoughts, but it was hard with Rosalie screaming insults at Edward at the top of her mental lungs.

Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool!

She hadn't forgiven me, but in her eyes I was still an enemy.

She'll kill me if I go with you guys . . . sorry. Emmett apologized.

I smiled weakly and nodded. "Come on Edward, let's go." I pushed him to the driver's side.

"You drive . . . I can't concentrate." He said, handing me the keys. I stared at him surprise for a moment, and then got into the car. It was just us two; everyone else was in Rosalie's M3.

I pulled out of the lot and waited until I got to the forest-surrounded highway to go drastically over the speed limit. We were quiet the entire ride, both of us occupied with our own thoughts. I wanted to beat Rosalie to our home, that way we could have a few moments to prepare Esme, but she was right behind me.

Both Edward and I were relieved to see Carlisle's Mercedes parked next to my Camero; that meant we could have some protection from the explosion that would inevitably happen. Rosalie pulled into the garage as Edward and I were getting out of the car.

We walked silently into the house and straight to the dining room, not that we used it for it's intended use . . . it was more of a conference room

Carlisle was at the head of the table with Esme beside him, holding hands. I went over to my spot on his other side. Edward sat beside me, Rosalie and Emmett sat at the far end while Jasper stood against the wall behind Rosalie. Alice walked in, her eyes looking far into the future and she sat next to Esme, resting her head in her hands. Jasper twitched as if to go sit beside her, but remained where he was.

Edward took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." He looked at Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper in turn. "I never meant to put any of you at risk. I take full responsibility for what happened."

"What do you mean 'full responsibility'; Ruth was part of this too!" Rosalie complained.

I looked her in the eye and spoke in a steady voice. "All I did was make sure Edward didn't harm anyone and I, unlike you, have a sense of moral and personally would've felt terrible if Bella Swan died and I did nothing to stop it from happening when I knew I could. A life is a life, no matter who it belongs to."

Carlisle nodded in approval. Rose turned to Edward. "Are you going to fix it?"

"Not in the way you mean. I'm willing to leave now, if it will help."

"No. No, Edward." Esme murmured.

He patted her hand. "It's just a few years."

"Edward, I'm not letting you leave, you can't!" I pleaded. "We need you here more than ever." Not just us, Bella too! Please don't make the same mistake I did!

"Ruth's right, we need to know what people are thinking. It would be the opposite of help if you left." Emmett said seriously.

"Alice will catch anything major." Edward disagreed.

Carlisle shook his head. "I have to agree with them, the girl will be more likely to talk if it's just you gone. It's all or none of us."

"She won't say anything." Edward threw in hastily.

"He's right." I added. "Bella keeps to herself . . . she's more trustworthy than some, both vampire and human."

"You don't know her mind." Carlisle reminded.

"I know this much." Edward said. "Alice, back me up."

"I can't see what would happen if we just ignored this." She glanced at Rosalie and Jasper. Of course, their minds were too made up to not ignore it.

Rosalie smacked her hand on the table. "We can't allow the human the chance to say anything! Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we did disappear, it's not safe to leave stories. We live so differently from the rest of our kind - there's some that would love to point fingers, you know that! We've got to be more careful than anyone else!"

"Not that we haven't left rumors before." Edward pointed out.

"Perhaps, but not eyewitnesses and evidence!"

"Evidence." Edward scoffed.

Jasper nodded eyes hard. I hated to see him that way . . . it wasn't the Jasper I knew, but he had a hard life before he found Alice.

"Rose -" Carlisle warned.

"No, let me finish. She hit her head, right? So maybe it was more serious than it looked." She shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep with the risk of never waking up again. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves."

"And we all want to fit in with that crowd." I muttered.

She glared at me and continued. "Technically, that makes it Edward's job, but clearly this is beyond him. You know I'm capable of control, I would leave no evidence behind."

"I agree." Edward looked at me, surprised, a rare event. "Rosalie is obviously the best for the job, we all know how great of an assassin she is." I loaded my voice with sarcasm.

"Ruth, please." Carlisle looked at me, shocked. He knew Rose and I never got along well, but he had never seen me attack her so harshly.

"Sorry." I said as I looked back in at him into his eyes, I missed the bright blue they used to be. The apology was more for him than Rosalie, she deserved everything I said. I felt some of my old love coming back; it happened if I looked at him in a certain way, so I lowered my head and rested it in my arms to cover my eyes. I couldn't stand to have Jasper feel that after everything that happened today.

He must've remembered too because I felt his gaze move quickly from me to Rosalie. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt you needed justice, those men wronged you terribly. Now, it's not the same situation, the Swan girl is innocent."

"It's not personal, Carlisle." She said through her teeth. "It's to protect us all."

He thought through his reply. "I know you mean well, but I'd rather like to think our family deserves protecting. The occasional . . . accident or lapse of control is regrettable part of who we are." Leave it to Carlisle to include him and me in his plural, though we never had any difficulty before. "To murder a blameless child in cold blood, on the other hand, is entirely different. I agree with Edward and Ruth that she is no harm to us. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk losing something more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."

I smiled, knowing Rose couldn't see. I lifted my head and sat back up right, the look on her face made me want to laugh; I loved when Rose didn't get her way if it meant I got mine.

"It's just being responsible." She defended.

"It's being callous." Carlisle seemed tired of explaining. "Every life is precious."

She scowled and Emmett out her arm around her. "It'll be fine, Rose."

"The question is, should we move?" Carlisle continued.

This time, it was my turn to protest. "No! Please, Carlisle, I'm happy here . . . we all are. Don't make us move! I feel human again and I've nearly forgotten how that feels and I have no desire to start in middle school all over again."

"The decision doesn't have to be made now." Carlisle replied calmly. In the pit of my empty stomach, I felt a butterfly that was the same way he used to . . . Edward and Jasper were staring at me. I cut my thoughts off immediately. How could I be so careless?

"Jasper." Edward said.

They looked at each other.

"She won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that."

Jasper stared at him with cold eyes. I still couldn't bear to see him like that. "She benefits from it? She should've died today; I would only set that right."

"I won't allow it." Edward said slowly.

"I won't let Alice live in danger. You may have been in my head, but you haven't lived through what I have.

"Jazz." Alice broke in.

"Don't go telling me you can protect yourself . . ."

"I wasn't. I was going to ask you for a favor. I know you love me. Thanks. But I'd rather appreciate it if you didn't kill Bella. Firstly, Edward's serious and I would rather you didn't fight. Secondly, she's my friend . . . well; at least she's going to be and Ruth's too."

We all stared at her. I grabbed Edward's hand to see what she was. Clear and plain, there we were with Bella in the middle, arms around each other's shoulders. I was surprised a bit, but I had seen this coming before, even without Alice's help.

"But . . . Alice . . ." Jasper sputtered.

"I'm going to love her someday, Jazz. I'll be very put out if you don't let her be."

"Me too." I said. "Please, I'm sorry. I know it's what you think are right, but best friends don't let best friends kill people." I grinned, hoping for one in return. He smiled slightly, that was enough for me.

The future shifted with Jasper's intentions fading.

"Ah, there, I can see now. Bella's not going to tell anyone. Nothing to worry about." Alice said her name as if they had been friends for a long time.

"What does this . . ."Edward choked out.

"I told you change was coming." She scolded. "I don't know Edward." She began to concentrate on Jasper; Alice was trying to block us - mostly Edward - from what she saw."

"What are you hiding?" Edward said. "Is it about the girl? Is it about Bella?"

At that, her concentration broke and we saw what was to come.

"NO!" Edward and I said simultaneously. He stood up, breaking our contact.

"Edward!" Carlisle said, standing up as well, placing a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"It's solidifying." Alice whispered. "There's only two ways."

"Which one?" I muttered.

"The second." It wasn't bad to me, but Edward being his protecting self, thought it was the end of the world.

"Edward, it's better than the other, for you and her. I told you before, you can't leave her."

"Will someone fill us on the mystery?" Emmett said loudly.

"I have to leave." Edward said.

"We've been through that already, you can't. It's the best way to make sure she doesn't talk. Besides, how would we know if she was talking?" Emmett said, as loudly as before.

"I don't see you going anywhere. Think about it, think about leaving." Alice said, sure of herself.

His face showed pain.

I smiled triumphantly. I knew it! Edward, you can't leave. It was the same for me. Please don't.

"I don't hear that." Edward said to Alice.

Silence, then. "Why are you doing this to me?"

More silence, then the thing I had been waiting for. "Love her too?"

Told you so! Remember; don't make the same mistake I did.

"No, I won't let that happen. I'll leave."

"Oh, come ON! Emmett bellowed."

"Pay attention." Rosalie hissed. "Alice sees him falling for a human! Classically Edward." She laughed cruelly.

I gripped the edge of the table as tightly as I could. It's only Rose. It's only Rose. It's only Rose. It's only Rose. It's only Rose. It's only Rose. It's only Rose.

Emmett, finally realizing what was going on, began to laugh too. "What? Is that what's been going on? Tough break Edward!"

I kept my chant going on in my head. My grip on the table was so tight, I felt splinters coming off.

"Could you stop that?" Edward muttered to me.

"Sorry." I said, my teeth clenched.

"Fall for a human?" Esme asked stunned. "For the girl he saved today? Fall in love with her?"

"What do you see, Alice, exactly." Jasper said.

"There are only two options, either Edward kills her - which would really irritate me - or she'll become on of us someday."

We were all silent, even me. My thoughts too clouded to be anything coherent to Edward.

"This . . . complicates things." Carlisle said after a long moment.

"I'll say." Emmett said the laughter still in his voice.

I couldn't take it anymore. It didn't apply to me, but the fact that they thought human and vampire could never be together . . . how little they knew!

"Don't say that!" I said in a low voice. "Don't! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Why should you care?" Rosalie scathed.

"Because . . ." I looked at Edward, Alice and Jasper for reassurance. They all nodded quickly. "Because I loved a human too, alright! There, I said it. Make fun of me all you want, but it doesn't matter anymore, he's long since been dead."

My death grip on the table loosened as the truth came out. One secret of two revealed and only time could tell if the other would be told. I stood. "I have to go. Sorry Carlisle, for betraying your trust."

"Ru, wait!" Esme said.

I ran as fast as I could to a small clearing in the forest I had gone to before so I could be alone.

I spread out my arms and lifted my face to the sky letting the rain fall on me, soaking my clothes. My hair was all frizzy and went into tight ringlets from the damp and wet.

I sat down with my arms curled around my legs, sobbing dryly. Why me? I hated myself for lying to Esme, but especially Carlisle.

I heard his approach before I saw him.

"That was about the boy from Delaware? Matthew Carmichael, right? The others explained rather well for you." Carlisle asked, sitting beside me. For some reason, his old British accent was strong.

I smiled. "I was afraid to tell you . . . I didn't know what you would've thought, but now I do."

He put his arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Why did you tell your sister and brothers? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I needed another story to hide what I really feel all the time."

We sat silently for a little while.

"Why don't you tell them?" He asked.

I shrugged. "They can't handle it yet. I'm not ready."

"You know now Esme is more determined to help you find love more than before, right?"

I laughed. "Oh, Ez always has her priorities straight, doesn't she?"

"Let's go back, she's worried about you."

"But…I…fine."

We got up and ran through the rain back to the place we called home.


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