We do not own Twilight.

Hey guys! This chapter is kinda of a cross between movie and book... The Carlisle/Esme awesomeness at the end there is a deleted scene.... Which sucks because it is really awesome. Like I said.

Just FYI, Twilight Sun will be shorter than the actual series... Stephenie loves to rant and most of the books are Edward/Bella scenes where it would not be appropriate for Ruth to be there.

We may not be updated for a little while... Spring Break... And this is kind of making us depressed.... So we are randomly writing an awesome scene that happens much later.....

Love you guys! Especially the ones that review! Enjoy chapter 9!

Chapter 9

In chemistry, we were watching 'Bill Nye: The Science Guy'. I completely zoned out the entire class, just thinking about everything that was going on right now.

Edward deserved Bella. He'd been so unhappy for too long. I had too, but I accepted that I would never find anyone. Now, I wasn't so sure. What if it was me, not Edward that had fallen in love? What would everyone else think? What if I hadn't run away from Delaware and had given it a chance? Didn't Ideserve someone?

NO! I couldn't think about this anymore. It was tearing me apart to see me finally, truly all alone. I was shaking from tears that would never come.

The teacher flicked the lights on a few seconds before the bell rang. I ran out of the class as fast I could while still looking human to the forest.

I walked past my family members at different times but each one just stared at me, not knowing what to say. As soon as I got to the cover of the trees, I ran home.

"Ruth, what's wrong?" Esme asked.

"Nothing." I lied, moving past her to get to the stairs.

"Tell us." Carlisle said, getting up from the couch and blocking my path. He put his hands on my shoulders. "What's wrong? Edward can't hear, everything is safe."

I couldn't hold in my need to cry any longer. I burst into dry sobs. Instead of my sadness turning into anger like some others, it stayed the same.

"It's not fair!" I managed to say.

"What's not fair?" Esme asked, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"Why am I the only one that has to be alone!? I didn't care much before because Edward was always there. Now he's got Bella . . . I can't take it!"

They looked at each other meaningfully. They moved me to the couch and sat on either side of me.

"We talked about this after our meeting." Carlisle said. "And we decided that if you feel the need to leave for a while, it would be alright. I know you are under a lot of stress. Too many secrets hidden for so long aren't a good thing, Ruth."

I nodded. "I know, but I can't tell. It hurts so much to remember; to know I once had everything and it all was taken away. I can live forever, but I don't want to alone. I'd rather die than be alone."

"Don't say that." Esme said.

"But it's true!"

"I know what the feeling is like, to lose everything you had." Carlisle began. "But . . ."

I cut in. "No you don't! You don't know what it's like to be told the person you love is dead, Carlisle. I went through that with you and Matthew! Sometimes I wish you had just let me die knowing you still were alive."

He recoiled his arm that was around me. Esme looked at us. "What are you talking about?"

One secret to reveal. "Remember when I said I was married? My husband was Carlisle," I blurted out.

She stared at us, shocked. "Carlisle, is that true?"

He nodded. "We didn't want to tell you or anyone else."

"Why - you - I don't understand, why aren't you still together?"

I laughed sadly. "When we transformed, it wasn't only our bodies that changed. Our relationship had too. I don't love him the same way anymore. He's more of a father now, just like it is for the others."

"She's more like a daughter than anything, Esme." Carlisle added.

"I knew I had something to do with it." She muttered. It took me a second to realize she was talking about the night Edward and I wrote 'Bella's Lullaby'.

I frowned. "No you don't. This was centuries before you were born. Nothing that happened then means anything to us now."

"And the night you said you were married?" She asked.

"I meant it when I said I'm happy seeing Carlisle with you. Yeah, it's not always great, but you're both so perfect for each other, I can't help but to feel jealous. Ez, I'm jealous because you have everythingIwanted when I was human; husband, children, and a home. That's all I wanted. That's all I still want, but can never have."

Silence fell over us. No one knew what to say; what could you say in a situation like this?

"I want to go away. I need to get away." I said, breaking the silence.

Carlisle nodded. "Of course. I called Tanya and she said you are more than welcome to stay with them for a few days."

I shook my head. "No. I need to be alone, think things through. I'll go to, I don't know, Seattle."

"How long do you want to stay?" Carlisle asked, taking his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Three days should be long enough."

He nodded and called up a hotel there.

"Help me pack?" I asked Esme, squeezing her hand slightly.

She nodded and we went up to my room.

"Esme." I said as I closed my door behind me. "You can't think about me and Carlisle. I don't want the others to know, well, Alice will already if she's been paying attention and she'll see I want no one to know, so she won't tell. Promise me."

"I promise, I won't think about it any more."

I sighed in relief. "Thank you. There's more to the story, but we can't tell you yet, neither of us is ready, I don't think."

"I can wait."

We began to grab some of my things in silence, but Esme broke it. "So, was he good at kissing then?"

I laughed. "What do you think? He honestly hasn't changed much."

She laughed too. "This is a bit strange though."

"You don't know the half of it." I muttered.

"How long were you married for?" She asked as we sat down on my window seat, the packing finished.

"I think it was around a year because . . ." I couldn't tell her how I knew, not yet. "He was changed a month or two before our anniversary." Not a lie, but still not the truth.

"That's terrible. So you're not married to him legally anymore?"

I laughed. "Clearly. We considered, 'til death do us part' means changing into vampires as well. So I guess we're divorced." I made air quotes as I said the last word. "He loves you Esme." I added. "Every time he looks at you, it's as if he's seen you for the first time."

"Really, I never notice."

"That's because you look at him that way too."

She smiled. And then frowned. "It must be hard for you, to have to put up with us all day and night."

"It's a little sickening yes, but I got used to it. I ought to be going now, though."

She nodded and we walked back down the stairs, my bag over my shoulder. The others were back from school now.

"Where you going?" Emmett asked me, looking at my bag.

"Away, just for a few days."

Carlisle came to me and gave me a piece of paper with the hotel address on it.

"Thanks, dad." I said, hugging him tightly.

He just nodded, hugging me back.

"It's going to be cloudy the whole time you're there, so you can go out in the day." Alice piped up.

"Thank you, Alice." I said, hugging her too. The thanks had a double meaning and she knew that.

I walked over to Esme and hugged her. "Bye, mom. I love you. You know I'll come back."

I went outside and to my Camero. I got in, started it up and pulled out. I sped down the driveway and onto the highway. I drove all night until I reached the hotel I was staying at.

"Hello, Miss Cullen. Here is you're room key." The man at the desk said, timidly. Oops, I guess I should try not to scare the humans too much.

"Thank you very much," I smiled warmly… Well as warmly as I could. And with that, I walked up the stairs to my room.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I enjoyed my three days of being away from everyone. It gave me time to think without my thoughts being heard. I wandered around the city, loving the fact that I was away from all that tormented me daily, but it was torture to be away from them. I loved them so much, even Rosalie.

I thought relentlessly about it and decided I had to tell my life story, no matter how hard it was. Carlisle would back me up; help me if I needed it. He was right; having too many secrets was hard to keep to yourself. I thought that not only my family but, since she was going to be one of us someday, that Bella should know too.

I met a few nice boys in the hotel, there from Oregon for hockey. They were all 16, my physical age. I could tell they thought I was cute, but I didn't feel anything for them like I had for Matthew. Or Carlisle.

It will happen. I reminded myself. Sooner or later it will.

Before I realized, it was time for me to go home. I paid for my room and drove back to my family. I got back to the house close to 7 in the morning.

I walked into the front room and a small, white blur with black hair ran at me.

"RUTH!" Alice cried as she jumped on me.

"Hello to you to Alice." I replied, a bit stunned.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Edward invited Bella to come here and meet us!"

"That's great. When?"

"Today."

I dropped my smile. "That's . . . soon."

She frowned at me. "You should tell us, you know. We can't keep Edward out of our heads for too long."

I sighed. "Of course you'd know already."

"Always do."

"What do you want Edward not to know?" He asked from the door.

"Nothing you won't find out later." I replied to our brother.

Esme came down the stairs followed closely by Carlisle. "I thought I heard you."

I ran over and hugged her.

"Better?" She asked.

"As good as ever."

I looked directly at Carlisle. "You told me to tell you when I was ready. I am now." I said those exact words before, in an entire different meaning and time, but he knew what I meant.

He smiled. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, smiling slightly. It was playing out like a flashback. We said the same words before, but we both knew what they meant now.

We laughed and Edward gave us the same look he had in the hospital when I said what my mother had.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asked.

I controlled my laughter. "You wouldn't understand. It was a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment."

A few hours later, Edward said, "I'm going to go get Bella now. Be as normal as possible when I return."

"Vampire normal or human normal?" I asked seriously.

"Be yourself normal."

"That may be possible." I replied.

He just rolled his eyes at me and walked out the door.

I saw Alice and she was nearly bouncing up and down in excitement.

"Calm down, Al." Jasper said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Sorry."

Minutes later, we heard Edward pull into the driveway.

"Here comes the human." Rosalie said, overly cheerful.

Edward brought Bella into the family room where we all were.

"Hey, Bella." I said, hugging her. She seemed a little surprised, but returned the hug all the same.

"Hi, Ruth."

I stepped back and stood by Carlisle and Esme. Edward cleared his throat. "Bella, this is Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett" He said, gesturing at the couples respectively. "And this is Carlisle and Esme, our parents in all intentions. You know Ruth already."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen." Bella said, shyly.

"Please, just call us Carlisle and Esme." Carlisle said.

She nodded nervously.

"Hi, Bella." Alice said, running up to Bella and hugging her. "Oh, you really do smell good!"

"Alice, what are you...?" Edward began.

"Don't worry; Bella and I are going to be great friends."

Edward shook his head. "OK, I'm going to give you a tour of the rest of the house." He led Bella upstairs.

"That went well." Carlisle said.

"They're so cute." Alice cut in excitedly.

"I know." Esme continued.

A few moments later, Emmett and Rosalie went into the garage and Alice and Jasper went upstairs to talk to Bella and Edward. Carlisle, Esme and I were left downstairs.

"How can it ever work out?" Carlisle sighed, walking with Esme to the south wall, covered in windows.

"Alice's been wrong before." I pointed out, crossing behind him and Esme to get a book from the other side of the room.

"But still . . ."

"Carlisle, Bella is what he wants." Esme pushed him up against a wall. "It will work out in the end."

"Hopeless romantic." Carlisle muttered before kissing Esme.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "You think you could wait until I leave the room?"

They laughed, but did wait until I went upstairs to my room. It was hard to imagine Carlisle and Esme as anything besides parents, but they were 23 and 26 physically, much too young to be taking care of six teenagers. I sighed as I open the book and began to read, trying to get my mind of the daunting task ahead of me.

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