By the way my people! my friend Nicole and i are writing this together! we are currently trying to figure out what to put her stuff in right now it is between bold itatlic and just plain italic!! but the problem will soon be fixed! sorry for interupting the flow of things! :D
Ashes to Cinders
Chapter One: Ethan's Family(current and not so current)
NONE of the characters reflect my opinion on any topic that may or may not offend you- the reader!
-Ethan-
So, we will begin like any other fairy tale- where it all started: the parents.
My mother's name is/was Janice and my father's name is/was Allen.
Dad came from a very well bred family.
Wanna take a stab at where he grew up? Las Vegas... Yep you heard right! Las Vegas!
Threw me for a loop too. A well bred family comin' out of Vegas, who would have thought?
My father must have been extremely handsome back in the day to catch my mother. You know, like the heart-throb muscular knight every kingdom has (and I definitely followed in his footsteps! how do you think I caught the princess? Wink-wink).
I have herd that I looked exactly like him-black hair, green eyes(I sound like Harry Potter!! Minus the glasses, scar and awesome magic!!).
So my dad went to Dutchyland, on business. He went to the bakery-and low and behold Janice liked him so much that she renounced her non-sluty ways and seduced my dear old dad.
So when she found out that she was pregnant (third one in four years) she forced him into holy matrimony.
Yeah I know that sounds all grand and stuff, happy ending and all, but there is a twist, of course!
They thought that I was a girl for six months, then they figured it out. Hey! I didn't say they were the brightest!
Now my mtoher's story: my mother was the most wanted girl in her city.
And with the description everyone gives me of her, I can tell why!
She had auburn hair, and big blue eyes that were the picture of innocence. Somewhat like your so called "Cinderella". But to call my mom innocent would be a lie.
She grew up in the city- Old Pork.
She was a waitress at the local pub from the age of 14 to 17. Oh and to make matters worse, it was a topless pub. You can see where she made her money!
So it probably wouldn't surprise you for me to say she got knocked up like twice. That's dear ole' mom!
From that came my two half brothers and/ or a sister in the world.
When she was 17 she renounced her life (why I have no idea! I'm a party person too!) and moved to the next kingdom near by- Dutchyland- there she became a helper in the local bakery.
And a year later she met my father.
My mom supposedly died when I was four...
Okay... another lie about mom... Dear old mommy ran away to good old fabulous Vegas and is probably getting knocked up by some bartender... She didn't even bother to bring me...not good for my self esteem... Sniff. Pity me... Okay, I'm alright! Back to the story! Sniff.
So my dad become broke quickly, drowning his sorrows.
He tried to sell me to that child eating witch, to some scientist he even tried Pied(the Pied Piper)!! But he couldn't get rid of me.
Maybe I reminded him of mom or something (-laughs nervously- But how is that possible? I look like my dad! I did tell you that right?).
So he remarried an evil bitch(who is actually Satin's daughter-I read her diary- and she has a tail poking out of her ass and horns out of her non existent brain!).
She hid these things from my father-like that was necessary.
He faked his death like two days after the wedding and ran of to Vegas. Probably looking for mom, again, and I was left behind, again. Sniff...
I know this because he send me postcards incognito from all of the places he visits.
Yeah so I got stuck doing the chores!
And let me tell you something-when you're a guy- you don't give a shit, and you DO NOT want to mess with Satin's daughter! Trust me, she has connections!
Now the step brothers they are a funny story- they are gay! I seriously asked them about it once.
"Hey are you guys gay?" I asked 'em(they were fighting over shoes!)
"NO!" responded step brother one.
"Just because we like rainbows, clothes, shoes, min-pedies and randomly wear speedos doesn't mean we are gay!" said step brother 2.
Now those two, where to start? They wear pastels, and girls underwear, but their mother doesn't know, she thinks that they are perfect and gonna get the princess, she's not worried about me because I'm covered in ashes all of the time! Fun!
Okay so my step brothers names are: number one Olga, and number two; Helga and my step moms name is Mildred. I know-weird right?
They thought that the guys were girls(I shouldn't be laughing, considering… but at least my name didn't stick, yup).
Poor guys, thank heaven my parents figured out I was a guy before they named me something like Molly and put me in some frilly, polka-dot, pastel pink dress!
Okay, so now that we know about my childhood and the whores that I am un-proud to call parents and the Spawn of Satin (literally) that I call a step mother we shall move on to when the whole fairy tale starts.
(OH FUN FACT TIME!! Did you know the devil's name is Edvard? Weird huh? I thought that it was Lucifer…guess I was wrong! Okay fun fact time over.)
Fairy tale time!
It all started like any other day: I was down in the kitchen making breakfast(by the way I'm like 17, so I have years of practice).
The bell rang and Olga's voice came to me.
"Ethaleen! Bring me my breakfast! NOW!!" he screeched.I sighed and stacked up the trays and headed up the stairs. Yeah okay about the whole Ethaleen thing. I'm not allowed to wear just a pants and a shirt. Your know those little skimpy maid outfits? The black an white ones? Yeah well, lets just say I have come to now those very well. I look pretty good in it too according to Olga (it was all his idea! he says I look good in black and white...shudder)
Ahhh Olga- you take a guess about what he looks like... frizzy brown hair, and a mole above the lips lets not forget the uni-brow, the spiting image of his brother, Helga.
Next to Mildred/Spawn of The DEVIL!!
"Ethan, you need to wash the dishes, sweep the floors, clean up the boys room, wash the carriage and horses and then do laundry."
"Okay Mildred." see that's where I'm different from Cinderella I could care less about what the woman thinks of me, and I do not have talking animal friends, Lord help me if I do.
"While I am at it should I clip your claws and polish your horns and spork?" I asked sweetly.(you know that fork looking thing that the devil has? It looks like a spork for some reason….)
"Do not take that tone with me!"
"I'm not taking a tone with you!"
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Ethan!"
"Mildred!"
"GO!! NOW!"
"FINE I WILL GO! STARIGHT TO YOUR DADDY!!"
"...What?" she looked like she was trying to decide wether to laugh or be afraid!
"Oh Mr. Devil sir, your daughter was being mean again."
"Stop it!"
"Must we get God involved."
"Ethan I swear to-"
"Ahaha," I said wagging my finger at her, "No swearing, and were you about to bring God into this?"
"Just do your chores." she said wearily, massaging her temples.
"Sure, sure." I said.
And there is another different, I won most of the arguments between me and my mother dearest. I shed the maid uniform and started on washing the horses and carriage and then everything else, I was done by three.
"NOW WHAT?" I yelled up to Mildred, who was up-stairs, trying to change her appearance, or trying to hide her tail…either one is pretty bad
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" she shouted back.
"FINALLY!" I yelled.
"IF YOUR NOT BACK BY DINNER I'M CALLING THE COPS!" she shouted back down.
"damn." I muttered slamming the door behind me. I ran to the mail box and found a post card from Vegas.
"We are having a great time! Wish you could be here." it said.
"Yeah, then why didn't you bring me, bastards." I said harshly.
See I'm not really that mean, it is just those oafs who cause it…
I set off to the stables and grabbed my favorite horse. We rode into the forest over a hill and looked at the castle, one day it would be mine…I swear that it will be mine!!
OxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxO
A/N- Alright, so another chapter down! I hope that this helped explain some blanks! And those of you who came back: Welcome back and I am glad that you liked it! And those of you that are new: Welcome! And I hope that I don't scare you too much. Okay as always-see anything that could be improved? Please e-mail me or just shoot a review and I'll jump on it quickly! Thanks y'all!