Author's Note: Okay I don't have much to say but umm thanks for the review as in singular, one review, I appreciate it and let's see all that's mine is the plot and Lils and Hayden so let's get on with it!

"Get up." He ordered.

"No I don't think so we need to have a mature conversation so I'm not getting up until we have a chat."

~I'm sorry I love you

"Obi-Wan you say you want to have a 'mature' conversation and yet you are sitting on me do I need to tell you why this doesn't make sense or do you get it?" He crossed his arms beneath his head as though he was completely comfortable and could wait forever.

"Master look this isn't my first choice either but you refuse to speak with me so let's talk. Why are you so upset with me that you avoid me even when I want to know why you're avoiding me? Really I need to know because I absolutely hate this. I miss you Qui-Gon really I do, so much." I didn't know where this was coming from but from the now completely serious and depressed expression on my master's face I could tell I was getting through to him. "I want to laugh and spend time with you. Don't you miss all the fun we used to have? Don't you miss bad movie Tuesdays? How about the joking? The pranks? Don't you miss me? Because I certainly miss you. Hell I miss you freaking scolding me any contact other than training." I don't know why but I was almost in tears at this point. It was completely insane though because I hadn't cried in three years, it was truly bizarre. "I miss you."

"Oh force Obi-Wan of course I miss you but" He paused for a deep breathe which was most likely hard to take seeing as how I was on top of him. "Obi I just can't spend time with you, I can't"

"Why? Why the hell not? You say that but you give me no reason. Why did you spend so much time with me before but you can't now? I don't understand just tell me the real reason, I need to know do that and I'll get up, I'll leave you alone just tell me. Please tell me rid me of this suffering."

"I already told you I have too many things on my plate and I don't have time for dessert." He looked like he didn't want to tell me this like he knew it would hurt me. It did too I was now fully in tears.

"I'm dessert than?"

"Yes you are a delicious devil's food cake with tons of frosting and ice cream." He smiled and I did too through the tears but it didn't go to my eyes and he saw that. "Obi-Wan…"

"Okay then I'll just go to my room than, since you don't have time for me." I stood up and made my way over to my room. As soon as I was in my room I went over to my mirror. I whole-heartedly looked like shit, my sea-blue eyes were red and immensely swollen, my auburn hair spastic and my robes were disheveled as well. I noticed giant dark circles under my eyes that hadn't been there just days ago. I had trouble sleeping lately with my master's face haunting my dreams it was impossible to. What was a Jedi to do? I knew exactly what I had to do and the first step was to suck it up and quit crying. I did as I had been taught as a youngling and drove out all of my thoughts as I opened my eyes I saw that the tears had stopped.

Next I changed into an old pair of pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt and sat on my bed cross legged meditating. As I sat there half meditating half listening to my racing thoughts I heard keys jangling and the sound of my Master leaving. Just like him to leave when things became complicated I just couldn't figure out why I liked him so much. He was like a child leaving when they got a little worried things wouldn't be the perfect way that they liked them. He was an asshole too he didn't care that I was sad, he didn't give a fuck about anyone but him. What a fucking asshole! I missed the old days when things weren't a complicated mess, when things were happy and fun between us. I loved those days and I knew that he loved them too and missed them as well as I did.

What did I love about him? Now that that thought had crossed my mind I couldn't stop thinking about it I had nothing to love about him, not anymore. There used to be so many things but now I couldn't remember any of them. Now he didn't tell good morning, his eyes never twinkled and he never laughed that deep belly laugh. He never watched stupid movies with me or spent hours talking to me about nothing. It was almost as though he had broken up with me when we were never together. And worst of all he didn't even care that him not being around was slowly killing me from the inside out. There was just an empty space were my heart was supposed to be. Force I loved him and force I missed him every second he was away.

Minutes or for all I knew seconds maybe hours later I heard the door open and rustling in the kitchen. Mugs clinked, plastic was unwrapped and the microwave turned on. Then a few minutes later there was a knock on my door.

"Obi-Wan are you alright in there?" My master sounded fully concerned and I honestly didn't care one bit.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why? What do you want?" Force I hopped that only one word would come back: You.

"Obi I made some popcorn and I have some of my Loco Cocoa. You know I don't think I can eat it all. You want some?"

"What'd you do all that for?" I was so confused. Was he offering to spend time with me? Did that mean he cared?

"Well I rented He's the Chick you know that movie that got horrible reviews and I was wondering if you wanted to watch it with me. What do you say?" I made my way over to the door and opened it looking him in the eyes.

"I say it's not Tuesday."

"Well I was pretty sure we couldn't wait any longer." He smiled and I caught the slightest twinkle in his eyes but really I was pretty sure it was actually just a tear. "Come on sit down I'll put the movie in." He led me over to the couch and my whole body tingled just from the touch of his hand.

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After the movie

"Force that movie really did suck! I guess I got to old for finding cross-dressing funny!" My master laughed and it was that full body, total and complete laugh that I had missed with all my heart and soul.

"Yeah well you had to admit there were some funny parts like were she um he got hit in the crotch and started screaming in pain and everyone was looking at him funny. Siri says that does hurt for girls too though so I doubt they would find it that weird." I sat there munching popcorn for a while I had a thought that wouldn't get out of my head and I wanted to ask it but I was way too scared to do so.

"Obi?" Qui-Gon must have noticed I had gone silent because he looked concerned about my stillness. "Is something wrong? Do you feel sick or"

"No" I cut him off. "I'm fine I was just thinking about something that Hayden said it's no big deal." I tried to focus on the movie credits that we had left running. The song that was playing sucked but it was better than silence and the T.V. was the only thing casting any light or interest in the room.

"Clearly it's bugging you come on just tell me it'll soothe your mind." Honestly I wasn't sure that anything could soothe any part of me but if he really wanted to talk about it then so be it. I'd ask him the question that scared and excited the shit out of me.

"Well don't ask how but Hayden seemed to be under the impression that you love me and I was wondering if that was… you know… true. Do you love me?" I was physically shaking but had managed to get the courage to look at him but not in the eye.

"Oh force Obi-Wan of course I love you. Obi I love you so much!" I was shocked completely frozen with the thought that he loved me, he really love me!

"Really you aren't joking right, because that would be freaking evil." I was cautious but so excited.

"Yes I'm being honest I love you." He put his hand on my shoulder. Something I'm not sure what but something passed through his eyes. "Obi you are the son I never had and never can have."

"Oh." That hit me hard I didn't want to be his son I wanted to be his lover, his soul mate, his everything but not by any means his son. "Of course…your son. You know what I'm tired I'm going to bed."

As soon as I was on the other side of that door I exploded into a fit of tears. Sliding down the door I just collapsed, my whole world was falling to pieces around me and I couldn't do anything about it. The man I loved did love me back but not in the way I wanted, in the way I needed. Why did this have to happen? It was against the code to love, against the standards of society to love another man and above all against the law to love him. Him, Qui-Gon Jinn, the man that haunted me not only in my dreams but the waking world.

How could I have expected any different from him I was the age of a son to him or at least close he was 30 and I 14. It just couldn't work, it shouldn't work, it wouldn't work but yet I still had a slight tingle of hope. I forced myself to move onto the bed and I lay there for a while the lights off just crying deep retching sobs that hurt so bad they made me cry harder. I couldn't breathe and I was suddenly completely exhausted.

Eventually the fit passed and I forced myself to close my puffy eyes even that bit of movement tired me and I was almost silent save my exaggerated breathe. As I lay there trying to sleep I heard footsteps come to my door. Closing my eyes and calming my breath I faked sleep. The door opened and Qui-Gon came in making his way to my bed he leant down and whispered into my ear five simple words, they meant the world to me but sent it crashing back down as well.

"I'm sorry I love you."

He kissed my cheek and walked out the door. One more thought crossed my mind before the crying restarted a thought that shook me to the bone. The thought that I cried myself to sleep thinking: Did he know I was awake?

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Wow so that's it, I hope you enjoyed it. I feel like I just had a therapy session getting all of my emotions out and all. SO I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to receive a review. I know that you people are reading it so why don't you go ahead and review as well. So the drama enhances and I would love to hear what you think of it.

Love you all,

Moony ( *