Epov~ Re-WRITE.
My life really was falling apart.
My hands gripped my hair as smaller hands rested on my shoulder. At first, I thought she was the one crying, but then I realized, it was both of us.
"I'm so sorry, Ed-" She sobbed harder as I gripped the counter. No way was this happening. Not now, not in these circumstances, and not the day after Nessie's birthday. It just couldn't.
I pulled her from behind me as she sobbed into her shirt and I sobbed into her back. Even though my wife was dead, I needed Bella to calm down to be the one to handle everything. She knew I was never good under pressure- and under any bad circumstances. I needed her, even if right now, I wanted my wife more.
My mind tried to grip reality, but it kept slipping out of my hands. I had a feeling my life would do the same- slip out of control, and my hands, and I knew I couldn't do anything about it.
Her sobbing ceased, while mine persisted.
"I'm getting Rensemee. If you can, can you pull the car around?" She titled my head towards hers as she pulled away. I hesitantly nodded as she sadly smiled, and positioned me against the counter. "A-" She tried to say something, but smiled again, and walked away.
What would happen to Renesmee? Even if I thought Ma-She wasn't the best mother, Nessie still thought of her as the best person alive. And honestly, so did I. She did somuch for us, and so much to have Rensmee, that I bitched for nothing, and now I regret it.
I slowly removed myself from the counter and fished for my keys in my pocket. What seemed like an hour later, I pulled them out and started at them. M-She was the one who wanted me to get a volvo. Who was I to deny my wife? I hunched my back and dragged myself into the pouring rain with no emotion. I was blank. Bleak. Dark, and hollow. Nothing would be the same.
Opening the passenger side door, I sunk in, and started the car up. I blasted the heat and checked Nessie's car seat. If I could prevent another death, I would jump on the chance.
Bella and Renesmee walked out of the door- both faces tear stained, and waiting for something. I stared out the window as they settled in and got buckled.
I caught a glimpse of myself when we passed a truck. Soaked, disheveled more than usual, dark eyes- almost black, and no sense of hope anywhere on my face. I wondered how I would look in a few hours.
It seemed as if hours had passed -but my daly commutes to work registered it was minutes- that we finally reached the hospital. My mind was telling me we should've gone to the mourge- what difference would it have made?
I registered blurs of blue and clear, sirens, and pale skin. What I didn'tregister was the time of death, my wife's body, or the look on my daughter's face. If I looked now, it would be the thing that I knew would haunt me for the rest of my life, regaurdless if anything else happened. We arrived, and we were told to wait. And waiting was what we were doing.
This time, it seemed seconds had passed, but it was hours. Bella and Nessie were right beside me the whole time, and I wish I could've thanked them, but for all I knew, I was catatonic.
I couldn't speak. I didn't want to speak. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to breathe. I didn't want to rest. I didn't want to eat.
In all essence, I wanted to be the good husband, staying true to his dead wife, but that pact was already broken. She knew I still loved Bella, she knew I couldn't control my feelings for her, and she knew, I was somehow bound to be with Bella, and she still married me.
What kind of a sick fuck am I, anyways?
The doctor came in, said something I couldn't -didn't, want to hear, and handed me her belongings.
Our wedding ring, A picture of the three of us, Her cell phone, A note I had written to her on a whim, and Nessie's 'Because your my mommy card' from a small shop ouside of Vegas.
I closed my eyes as a chill went down my spine. How was I so stupid? How did I not know?
He also told me I needed rest, that I had to use it for stuff later on in the 'mourning process'. Fuck the mourning process. I skipped a stage, and headed straight for depression.
Bella began to softly sing Rensmee the same song she used to sing me when I couldn't sleep.
I was out like a light before I knew it.
Hah, so a preview...
"Edward, wake up," Bella shook me roughly. "Edward, please, wake up." And she started to cry.