(A/N: The following interlude encompasses emotions and experiences shared between Zuko and Setsuya throughout various stages of their bond. They are in no particular order, nor are they positively vital to the overall plot development of the story.)
Interlude: Forward and Backward
xXxAlleviationxXx
xZukox
Despite their maturing bond, there were times when Zuko wasn't sure he knew who Setsuya was. He was an enigma, a man with a long and complex past. On occasion he caught sight of the vampire lord staring at the walls with an odd gleam of nostalgia, reflecting neither good nor bad thoughts. Zuko considered what went on in that man's head, wondering if ever he was an object of the other's dwelling. Sometimes, when he touched Setsuya without warning, the man's lips would twitch and shudders would run down his body. "It's nothing," Setsuya would reassure him with a smile, kissing him on the forehead to wash away his concern. Barriers, Zuko realized, would separate them to a degree until he was able to help the man further heal the scars of his heart. This gave him reason to provide Setsuya with a foundation for better, more wholesome memories. From conversations and kisses, to arguments and tense silences; each day he saw a subtle improvement in Setsuya's demeanor. The vampire was more serene, more willing to love and care for others without worrying about the demons over his shoulder. This was a major alteration in the man's everyday associations, seeing as how he loved and cared for so many people. Setsuya let a bit more of himself shine through to others, and Zuko considered this a blessing for all.
xSetsuyax
Setsuya knew that it would take time to understand Zuko. He was often troubled by the younger's insistence on staying with him in his office for hours on end, to the point that he could barely stay awake and finally curling up on the floor at the man's feet. He carried him to bed on occasions such as these, returning to his office afterward to face the grueling paperwork that was waiting for him. That is, until Ryuichi casually mentioned that the boy had suffered a bought of insomnia while the vampire was gone for three consecutive days. The next time Zuko fell asleep, he walked the boy back to his bed but made sure to return within half an hour to check up on him. What he found confirmed his suspicions- the teenager's brow was damp with sweat and his breathing harsh. "I have a lot of nightmares, Setsuya. Ever since I was a child it's been hard for me to sleep peacefully." After this, Setsuya made sure that he was nearby, bringing his work to his quarters to oversee the other's slumber. Of course, that only worked for so long. Soon enough it was Setsuya's very presence, his memories that started causing the nightmares. Instead of trying to distance himself, the vampire found a better solution. Every time he saw the other drift off to sleep, Setsuya would slip into bed with him and embrace him lovingly until he awoke, commenting on how well he slept. Secret kisses were shared beneath the blanket and knowing looks were passed between them. Nightmares didn't come as often to Zuko anymore.
xXxUncertaintyxXx
xSetsuyax
"Are you mad at me?"
Zuko glanced up to meet the man's gaze, setting aside his novel to say, "No, of course not. Why do you ask?"
"You haven't spoken to me today. Did I do something wrong?" Setsuya leaned over him with curious eyes, his lips pursed with confusion and anxiety.
The teenager's eyes flickered, trying to recall the day's events. He'd awoken five hours earlier, sparred with Ryuichi for a bit, helped Akane sort through her sea glass, browsed through the eastern corridors, and picked up a book from the library. "You mean… I haven't said a word to you? Not even when you came in?" Setsuya shook his head and Zuko realized that this was true- his eyes had barely flickered when he'd heard the door click once, then again. He couldn't remember any verbal exchange. The vampire had been sitting in the room with him for over an hour, and he hadn't even acknowledged him! "Agni, I'm sorry Setsuya."
"What are you reading that's so interesting?" Setsuya asked almost bitterly, trying to peek at the text over the other's shoulder.
"It's a poetry anthology." He handed it to the vampire, who observed the page Zuko had it open to. "I've never really been a fan, but I'm trying to open my mind to some figurative language. I'm finding it sort of interes-"
Slam! Setsuya closed the book swiftly and tucked it under his arm with a frown. "Too much poetry rots the brain."
"But you said-"
"Forget what I said. I had no idea what I was talking about." Setsuya kissed the boy and whispered against his lips, "Read philosophy, darling. That will give you something to think about." The vampire darted immediately out of the room, leaving Zuko somewhat bewildered and bored. Now what was he doing to do?
Meanwhile, Setsuya glared at the book in the corridor and hissed under his breath, "I thought I got rid of you!" With caution, he lifted the flap of the nearest lamp and allowed the dry parchment to catch fire. He let it fall to the ground and burn under his watchful eye, burying the ashes beneath the dirt as was custom when disposing of evil entities. If Zuko ever did catch on to that figurative language, he would no doubt be horrified. He ran off to the library to make sure that nothing else of Ravindra's work was left lying around.
xZukox
The teenager moaned as the vampire pressed him further into the mattress, his legs wrapping around the man's waist as their tongues tangled in an intricate dance. Deliciously cold hands made him shiver as they ran beneath his tunic and teased the defined muscles of his abdomen. Zuko finally wormed his hands between them, enough to push Setsuya back and roll him over so that he was atop the other. The vampire growled, biting the younger's lower lip with his incisors.
"Setsuya," he groaned, giving the other permission to bite down a little harder and draw blood. The man kisses him with gratitude, lapping up the sweet fluid as it dribbled down his lover's chin. The noises he made were just enough to send Zuko off the edge. The younger arched his body, grinding their bodies together in the most erotic of ways. "I'm so close!" Zuko whispered, wishing that Setsuya would steal away his virginity then and there. But the man was too respectable and upright, damn him. They both knew that their maturing bond was not yet ready for such a union, Zuko being too young and Setsuya too 'damaged', as he put it. "Ah!" Zuko sat up and the two imitated the basic mechanics, trying to relive their mounting frustration.
Zuko thrust down and Setsuya up, the vampire even further frustrated by the lack of blood in his veins that made him unable to gain any completion to his aching desires.
The teenager realized this, flushing red when he realized that the only way to relieve Setsuya was to bring himself to completion and pass it along their bond. He redoubled his efforts, bringing Setsuya's hands to his hips and then lower… The vampire got the hint, his trembling fingers pumping his soul mate to completion as they rocked together in absolute bliss. Zuko ground his backside teasingly into the other's crotch, and the man leaned forward to bite the younger harshly on the shoulder. Zuko cried out, the friction against his member and the passionate lovebite enough to send him surging into a heavenly state. He winced as he collapsed onto his lover, his cheeks pink with humiliation. He'd just… in his…
Setsuya however, could care less as he laid back and allowed the teenager to rest his head on his chest with a yawn. "Setsuya…" Zuko sighed, as one might after eating the best chocolate of their lives.
"Kuzon…"
Zuko froze, his heart coming to a screeching halt. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Tears welled in his eyes and his throat clamped shut, cutting off his breathing all in one second. Had Setsuya been imagining Kuzon the entire time? Was what he thought to be love all based on a past life's passion? Was-
"…used to hate to be bitten. Every time we made love in his home, I had to gag myself by biting on his shoulder to make sure his parents didn't hear us. It was a constant reminder of how we had to keep our passion a secret. You on the other hand," Setsuya murmured with a smirk, "seem to get off on it." He frowned when his soul mate's horror seeped into his consciousness after a five second delay. "Zuko? Zuko, what's the matter?" he tried to probe the other's mind, finding a tightly-built blockade.
"I'm just so happy," Zuko said honestly, his voice hoarse yet relieved. How could he have thought Setsuya was using him as a bed-warmer in place of Kuzon? "I'm so lucky to have someone like you."
Setsuya's eyes widened in awe as he whispered, "I'm the lucky one." They shared a final kiss before Zuko snuck out of bed to bathe and change into more comfortable clothes. Insecurity was an expected aspect of relationships; he would just have to learn to have a little more faith.
xXxReachxXx
xZukox
Zuko took a deep breath, trying not to tremble as he whispered, "I'm scared, Setsuya."
"I promise that I won't hurt you. Would I make that promise if I wasn't sure?"
"No… But I'm still scared."
"We don't have to if you don't want to."
"I know, I know, I know. I want to."
"You're certain?"
"Yes. Will you blindfold me? I want to look, but I don't want to."
"Alright."
Zuko pursed his lips as a piece of cloth was tied over his closed eyes. Setsuya's hands ran up and down his chest, massaging the tense muscles and easing him slowly into relaxation. "I-I think I'm ready."
"Just try not to move too much, okay?" Setsuya's voice calmed him, as did the gentle hands running up and down his bare body. "There shouldn't be any pain." One minute passed, one deadly silent minute.
"How is it going?"
"Now, don't tense up. Ten needles have been inserted already."
Zuko felt a smile tinge his lips. "You're amazing. I don't feel a thing."
"I have the precision and dexterity of a vampire." Another needle was carefully inserted. "You must have been in terrible pain to agree to this. I didn't know you were afraid of needles. How did the sprain happen?"
"Ryuichi and I locked swords and I, being my stubborn self, refused to lose." Zuko made an effort to keep the injured arm still as Setsuya continued his healing method. It had taken much convincing and demanding from the vampire lord to go through with such a therapy. After seeing how much pain the younger was in every time he moved, the man practically begged Zuko to allow it.
"How does acupuncture work?" Zuko wondered, still in awe that he could not feel the many needles piercing his skin.
"These needles stimulate the central nervous system and bring balance back to your chi. They prod your brain to release pain-blocking chemicals and endorphins while it works to improve your body's overall reaction to injury. When we're finished, the pain will have decreased significantly and your body will heal faster."
"When the needles are removed, is there going to be blood?" Zuko suppressed a yawn as sleep began to overtake him, letting out a soft moan as Setsuya kissed his cheek.
"No, there shouldn't be." Another kiss. "Rest well, beloved."
Forty-five minutes later, Zuko awoke. Both the blindfold and needles had been removed and he sat up with a blush when he saw he was still missing his clothing. Setsuya edged toward him with concern as the younger shook away the aftereffects of his slumber. "How does it feel?"
Zuko flexed his arm in astonishment, glancing up to meet the other's eyes. "It doesn't hurt anymore. Just a little more tense than normal." Setsuya smiled, drawing the sheet over his lover to save him any more embarrassment. "Ryuichi stopped by while you were out. He feels terrible about what happened. Then he saw the needles and thought I was performing some sort of sadomasochistic ritual on you."
"What did you tell him?" Zuko yelped, tugging to sheet up to his chin. His friend saw him naked and covered in needles?!
"I told him I was punishing you for being so rambunctious. He didn't look very happy about it." Setsuya smirked as Zuko looked on in horror.
"You didn't! You wouldn't!" Zuko proceeded to punch the vampire in the arm, who backed away with a wince.
"It was a joke, a joke!"
The teenager stretched out his arm with a smug grin. Sometimes, it paid to reach beyond your boundaries.
xSetsuyax
The nighttime breeze brushed Setsuya's face, although he didn't shiver against it as Zuko did. The two held hands as they walked amongst the patch of forest following the vampire's feeding. The teenager breathed in deeply, and relished the sensation of his lungs filling with fresh air. He squeezed the man's hand in appreciation of the time spent outdoors. "You know, I've only ever visited these woods once or twice before I came here. I was never really allowed to travel too far outside of the palace city. My cousin brought me here when I was seven, because I said I wanted to explore and travel the way he did. He told me that I should get used to different types of terrain if I wanted to travel one day. I was so amazed by the number of trees and all of the wildlife." He sighed, shuffling his feet beneath him as he murmured, "It'll probably be gone soon. The Fire Nation has started harvesting Earth Kingdom forests now, and there is no reason to maintain this one."
"It's a sad thought," Setsuya agreed, lifting his gaze up to see the quarter moon shining dimly. "One hundred years ago, the forest used to border all of the cities. Pollution wasn't as thick then, and you could see the stars from any place on the mainland."
"Stars…" Zuko mumbled, casting a sorrowful look at the sky. "I've seen diagrams of constellations, but I've never seen stars."
"That's inexcusable!" Setsuya said with shock, looking as though he was ready to board the first ship headed to where they could see stars. "I'll take you to the southernmost island soon, I promise. There are no factories there, and the winds blow the pollution northward."
"They must be beautiful to go through that much trouble."
"Beautiful or not may be a matter of opinion, but one must not die without seeing stars."
Zuko fell to a stop, frowning up at the sky thoughtfully. "You know, maybe we'll get a better view if we climb a tree."
Setsuya stared at him as though he'd spoken a foreign language. "Climb a tree? They must be at least eighty meters tall! Besides, you know we won't be able to see any stars just by getting a bit higher up."
"We won't climb all the way! Come on, it's been ages since I've climbed a tree." He darted to the nearest one and smiled at the man. "Give me a boost." The skeptical vampire conceded, raising Zuko by his hips and helping him reach the first branch. When the younger motioned for the other to join him, Setsuya swiftly shook his head.
"No, no. I'd really rather not."
"Aw, come on." Zuko used the power of the pout, tilting his head pleadingly at the man. "I promise you won't regret it. Haven't you ever climbed a tree before?" Setsuya mumbled something underneath his breath, to which Zuko raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"
"I'm… I'm afraid of heights," Setsuya admitted, his eyes cast down in shame.
"Afraid? I didn't know... But you're immortal. Of all things to be afraid of, you're afraid of heights?"
"When I was about seven years old I visited a canyon with my parents and almost fell off of the edge. I'm more of a sea-level person now."
"I see," Zuko murmured, threading his fingers together in thought. After a moment's consideration, he reached down and offered his hand to the bewildered vampire. "Trust me, Setsuya." The twinkle in those beautiful golden eyes made him difficult to resist.
The man let out a deep breath, glancing from the tree to the ground upon which he stood. "Alright." He took Zuko's hand and used his other arm to hoist himself up onto the branch. Setsuya fixed his gaze on the sky above as the other massaged his palms.
"If it's easy for me, there will be nothing to it for you. Just follow the path I set and keep looking up." Zuko began to climb, his body nimble and flexible as he weaved through the tree's intricate branches. Setsuya's fingers trembled as he followed, though he pursed the younger man. He was thankful for their uninterrupted motions, for he did not want to have to think about what he was doing. Branch… after branch… after branch… after branch… His eyes flickered downward- Agni! Setsuya's hand slipped against the rough bark and he yelped as he lurched forward only to be saved by a thin limb supporting his midsection.
"Setsuya!" Zuko, seated on the branches above, glanced back and winced to see the man's awkward position. "It's alright. Just grab my hand. I promise, you'll be fine." The vampire did so, finding the promise fulfilled as his soul mate pulled him to safety upon the next branch. "See?"
Zuko moved to the side, allowing Setsuya to lean against the tree trunk while he peered upward to observe the sky. They were less than half-way up the tree, but considerably high from the ground. "You were right, Setsuya," he said with a sly smile. "I don't see the stars any better, but…" He gestured downward toward the ground before intertwining their hands. "Things do look a lot different from up here."
Supported by his lover's free arm wrapped around his waist, the vampire gazed down with awe at the ground upon which he once stood. The younger trees planted by some in hopes of restoring the forests created a small, beautiful canopy of lush vegetation. The branches twisted and knotted in an unexplained, unpredictable way that expressed nature's divine beauty. All of this he'd been missing, because he was afraid of something that could not hurt him. "It is beautiful," Setsuya murmured, turning back toward his companion and cupping his face. "Now, I will share something beautiful with you." The vampire closed his eyes and Zuko followed the suit, lingering in a moment of absolute peace.
The blackness of Zuko's vision was interrupted by a small diamond of light, glistening brightly. Another appeared, then another. They multiplied against the darkness which now sported a tinge of blue. Stars, the boy realized in wonder, his heart filling with joy. Setsuya was sharing his memories of stars with him. He could have kept his eyes closed forever, gazing at the wondrous entities that fill the universe's depths. "Amazing," the teenager whispered, bringing their lips together in a gentle union. He finally opened his eyes, pleased to find the vision imprinted into his own memories. "Thank you, Setsuya."
"Always, beloved. And thank you… I don't think I'm afraid of heights anymore."
xXxTemperaturexXx
xSetsuyax
Setsuya's skin was almost always cold. It had fleeting moments of warmth after he drank blood, but it always reverted back to its icy temperature. The worst part of it all was that it sometimes imitated the man's personality. He could be cold, even harsh on his worst days, just as the bitter Arctic winds slaps at the flesh. However, even though his skin could not be permanently warmed, the heart could be so. When Zuko embraced Setsuya, he did more than merely heat the man's flesh. The teenager brought him joy when he was sorrowful, courage when he was fearful, and forgiveness when he was guilty. He washed away the cruelty imposed on him by Master, healing his heart and soothing his pain. Setsuya was freezing, but Zuko warmed him time after time.
xZukox
Zuko's skin was almost always hot. It cooled when he slept and meditated, but it rose to normality soon thereafter. Unfortunately, it tended to mirror the teenager's overall demeanor. He was fiery with a short temper, making him stubborn and occasionally unapproachable. Although the firebender's skin would stay constant, his irritability levels didn't have to. When Setsuya embraced Zuko, he did more than merely cool the teen's flesh. The vampire brought him patience when he was annoyed, tranquility when he was anxious, and serenity when he was upset. He washed away his need for faultlessness imposed upon him by his family, making him much more accommodating and agreeable. Zuko was burning, but Setsuya cooled him time after time.
xXxBeautyxXx
xZukox
Setsuya was frustrated when Zuko denied the fact that he was beautiful. The teenager just couldn't seem to understand that, out of all of the striking vampires underground, Setsuya found a human so attractive. Zuko simply didn't understand the appeal of his skin, that crème colored skin that looked like milk tinged with a drop of coffee. He didn't understand that his careful balance of soft, feminine features and his defined muscles made him comparable the mythological Adonis. He didn't understand that his shoulders, collarbone, and neck formed such a smooth, touchable junction that he was blatantly irresitable. He didn't understand that his unintentional demonstrations of his flexibility left Setsuya clenching his hands and biting his lip as he tried not to ravage the younger. Zuko didn't understand that his eyes were like a golden fog that was so easy to get lost in. He didn't understand that even when he was ruffled, scowling, annoyed, solemn, or fierce, he was beautiful. Even his fingertips and palms, roughened from swordsmanship, were beautiful. What Setsuya found most beautiful about Zuko was his lips. They initiated intimacy, passion. The vampire loved how those blush-pink lips pursed with anxiety, smiled with joy, twitched with annoyance, parted with bliss. Setsuya found a way to express that love every time they kissed. Yes, Zuko was beautiful.
xSetsuyax
Zuko knew Setsuya was beautiful. In every way, shape and form, he was beautiful. But not only his inner beauty was worth mentioning. From his raven hair to his long legs, Zuko found him attractive. Instead of knobby and crooked as most exceedingly thin people are, Setsuya's body flowed like a poem. Fluent and connected, proportional and even. The only time he was displeased with viewing the other's body was when his shirtless form bent over too far, and every vertebra in his spine could be seen. It made Zuko want to cry and forever curse his lover's former master. Yet even so, the man was beautiful. He loved to trace those empty blue veins of his arms, legs, and chest beneath his fingertips, woven beneath his skin in an artful manner. His face was gaunt, but not in a ghostly way. With high cheekbones, lightly arched eyebrows, and gentle features tinged with occasional sternness, the man was no doubt handsome. The vampire, Zuko decided, was the Spirits' intentional mistake. No distortion of nature could ever be this enticing. Setsuya sometimes questioned Zuko when he called him beautiful. He claimed he had the same features that every vampire had, but the younger vehemently denied it. No one had eyes as deep as Setsuya's. No one had grace equivalent to Setsuya's. And certainly no one had sexual appeal greater than Setsuya, which Zuko demonstrated every time they fell onto their bed doused with desire. Yes, Setsuya was beautiful.
xXxSecretxXx
xSetsuyax
Setsuya made up the bed with fresh sheets for his lover, smiling as he tucked the fabric tightly beneath the mattress. He was pleased that their bond had progressed into the second stage, that Zuko was opening up to him in such a way. He could ask for nothing more, and gave equally in return. It was just a matter of time until they were blessed with a wholesome, complete bond. He frowned when his fingers met a piece of parchment lying between the mattress and the bed frame. This could be something Zuko had been missing for a while now! He unfolded the paper and observed it carefully, his eyes widening as he comprehended the drawing. This was a work portraying Setsuya, a consistent theme in Zuko's artwork. However, this one was a bit out of the ordinary.
It depicted Setsuya in a state of blissful disarray, his lips parted and his eyes half-lidded as he lay in bed with a sheet barely wrapped around his lower body. One hand was used to support his position, while the other disappeared beneath the sheet and… well, Setsuya was pretty sure he knew what it was doing. His back was arched and his legs spread in a sultry position, causing the man to shake his head in disbelief. Agni, he has quite the imagination. Flattered and embarrassed, he tucked the parchment away where he'd found it and began folding the younger man's clothes.
This would be their little secret.
xZukox
Zuko quietly approached their room with the intent of completing the impossible task of sneaking up on Setsuya. He had spent a lot of time in the musky lower corridors with Ryuichi, so he figured that his scent would be partially skewed. He blocked their bond and edged the door open to find the vampire lord folding laundry, an odd task to catch him in the middle of. Zuko's eyes followed those graceful hands as they expertly aligned the creases and compacted the fabric. It was a simple, yet beautiful task to watch the man accomplish.
Setsuya stopped suddenly, his hands still clutching one of Zuko's shirts. The teenager sighed, certain he'd been caught. Instead of whipping around to apprehend him, Setsuya held the shirt out before him as though inspecting it. With a fluid motion the man crumpled the shirt in his hands and brought closer, inhaling deeply into the fabric. Zuko watched in bewilderment as the vampire repeated this action several times, letting out soft moans as he relished the scent of his beloved. The teenager flushed bright red as he backed away from the door and darted down the hallway.
This would be their little secret.
xXxOceanxXx
xZukox
There were so many things to love about the ocean, Zuko found it had to keep track. He loved it because it was superficially calm, yet teeming with life. He loved it because it brought different people closer together. He loved it because it didn't have to be complex to be good and beautiful. He loved it because it was a place of family memories. He loved it because of its currents of varying temperature. He loved it because, as long as he was compliant, the waves wouldn't hurt him. He loved it because it wasn't afraid to toss you out or drag you back in depending on how it was feeling. He loved it because it stilled his tears. He loved it because it was always there whenever he sought it out.
xSetsuyax
Setsuya loved the ocean for so many reasons, it was overwhelming to him. He loved it because it had a mind of its own. He loved it because it was like a mirror that reflected beyond flesh and blood. He loved it because its soothing and sometimes passionate rhythm reminded him of relationships. He loved it because it was a source of travel and the broadening of horizons. He loved it because it gave the sun a proper means by which to set. He loved it because it cooperated and controlled alternatively. He loved it because it allowed his body and mind to feel weightless. He loved it because it smelled like purity. He loved it because it was something that people couldn't take away from him.
xXxPrivacyxXx
xSetsuyax
Zuko's hands trembled as he scanned the documents in his hands, his lips agape and his eyes wide with horror. He hadn't meant to find the folder. He'd come across it when he was looking for some paper to draw on. He certainly hadn't meant to keep reading it. He just… He just…
Setsuya: Nine Days after Transformation
Setsuya is not adapting well to our feeding habits. He often gags and convulses during feeding, although he admits to enjoying the taste of blood. His incisors are fully grown and sharper than my own (individual or progressive trait?). His speed and strength are not of full merit, but I have a feeling his emotions are interfering with his ability to adapt. He has not left my side since he became a vampire, although he has had chances to try and escape me. He has become much more submissive to my sexual advances, even spurning a few of his own. I believe that he fears I will leave him, and has done everything in his power to ensure that this does not happen.
Setsuya: Fifteen Days after Transformation
Setsuya's strength seems to be increasing, but he still refuses to drink blood for as long as he can hold out. He is developing remarkable restraint, though I worry about his mental health. He seems to be teetering on the brink of insanity. He refuses to make normal conversation with me, starting to mindlessly disrobe whenever I address him. I have tried to coax him back into normal self, but he is unresponsive. I pray that he might even begin to fight against me as he did when he first arrived here, that I may know that my Setsuya is still alive and has not been replaced by this mechanical servant.
Setsuya: Twenty Days after Transformation
It came to my attention today that Setsuya seems to have made an attempt at suicide. When I entered the room unexpectedly, he was kneeling over a knife with long tears in the forearms of his robes. His skin regenerates as mine does, leaving him unharmed. This brings me to question my lover's mental sanity- I fear that the pressure of separation from his soul mate along with longing for his mortal life has led him to these great lengths. I pray that he will come to know how much I love him.
Setsuya: Twenty-six Days after Transformation
Setsuya seems to be attaining some degree of normality-
Zuko jolted as the papers were snatched from his hands. His eyes met those of a furious Setsuya, whose fists clenched and wrinkled the papers in his hand. "Have you no respect for privacy?!" he hissed with fierceness in his eyes that made the teen's blood turn icy cold.
"Setsuya, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to read it!" He leapt to his feet, although he was instantly driven back by the glare in the other's eyes. The vampire raised his hand, and Zuko thought for sure that he was going to be hit. He braced himself for the blow, but was surprised when all he felt was a hand cupping his cheek.
"How could you?" Setsuya demanded, his eyes clearly portraying his despair. He sighed, his breath shaky as he explained, "This was a journal kept by my master on my progress after my transformation. It continues to census all following vampires that entered the population, and kept a very accurate account of our people's evolution. Of course, it would have done me well to burn the first few pages…" His arms dropped to his sides as he rounded the teenager and placed the paperwork where it belonged.
The teenager shook his head, trying to come to his senses to speak. "I'm so sorry! I know I shouldn't have, but I came across it accidentally and I was horrified, but I-I couldn't stop and-" He swallowed, flinching when Setsuya refused to turn back to him. "Please, please forgive me."
Silence. Absolute, heartrending silence. Until-
"Of course I forgive you. It's just that…. you were never supposed to know me in that respect. I had lost hope, I had lost my reason for being. But then I found that the human race could be spared, that we could live for passion and knowledge rather than wearing out our will to the last moment in longing for sustenance. I recovered, I led, I became a healthier person. I'm not like that anymore."
"I know. I know." Zuko couldn't resist the urge to embrace his significant other, burying his head into the other's form. "The past is the past."
"Yes," Setsuya whispered, repeating the words to himself. "The past is the past."
xZukox
Tap, tap, tap.
"Zuko?"
Silence.
"Zuko, please come out."
"…I can't do this anymore, Setsuya."
"We can't lose our strength now. You knew it would be a part of our bonding experience. Nothing remains a secret in the Psyche stage, remember?"
"Just go away. I don't want to see you."
"No."
"What do you mean, 'no'? Leave, now!"
"You're hurting, I can feel it. Let me in. I want to talk to you properly."
"You can say whatever you want from out there."
"Alright, then. But you have to promise to listen." Silence. "Zuko, I understand the pressure that you must feel to keep upsetting memories suppressed. Perhaps they scare you, or you're ashamed of them. I didn't mean to… I didn't mean to view those memories. At the same time, trying to keep something hidden from your soul mate is nothing short of a fruitless struggle. I love you, and I think no less of you for what I see. I can only pray that you would treat my memories the same way." Silence, then a click. "May I come in?"
A warm, weak embrace. "You're so irritating."
"I know."
"…He, he only-"
"You don't have to explain. I'm just grateful that you're safe in my arms."
Unease.
"He's not a terrible man. I was a terrible son." So many words bitten back. "I deserved it most of the time."
"It happened more than once?"
"Tw-Twice a month, starting when I was seven."
"You were scheduled to be…?"
"Thought he could whip the discipline into me. Palace guard on duty was usually nice about it." Usually.
"I imagine…But I've never seen any scars on your back."
"My cousin Lu Ten used to spread some foreign healing oil on my back afterwards to prevent that. After multiple confrontations, Lu Ten finally threatened his life and he stopped." A pause. "Setsuya? Are you okay?"
"I can't imagine… to his own son…"
"Things work differently in noble families nowadays. It's not uncommon at all."
"My heart is aching."
"Can I kiss it better?"
"It couldn't hurt to try."
xXxDeathxXx
xZukox
I am not afraid of death.
Zuko edged to the brink of the shoreline cliff.
I am not afraid of death.
He could jump off if he wanted to. No problem.
I am not afraid of death.
What would it be like, to fall into the water from so high above?
I am not afraid of death.
Would it hurt? Would he land on the rocks?
I am not afraid of death.
He wasn't going to do it. He just needed to know he could.
I am not afraid of death.
If Setsuya offered to transform him, would he have the courage?
I am not afraid of death.
What was lingering in the transition realm like?
I am not afraid of death.
How long would it take?
I am not afraid of death.
What if our bond couldn't hold me to the world?
I am not afraid of death.
Arms wrapped around him, shielding him from the cold winds yet introducing an iciness all their own. "You shouldn't stand so close to the edge," a voice whispered into his ear. "You might fall."
Zuko wasn't afraid of death. He was afraid of what might, or might not, come after.
xSetsuyax
Setsuya wasn't afraid of death. He had died many times already. He'd died when he was kidnapped. He'd died when he was raped. He'd died when he realized he would never see Kuzon again. He'd died when he killed his first human being. He'd died when he saw Ryuichi cry after their artificial intimacy. Setsuya, for lack of a better word, was dead. Despite having come back to life, he was dead. Zuko livened his heart, stirred up raw emotions. Love, passion, protection, adoration- these were the things he lived for. Without Zuko there was cold, dead silence. Setsuya wasn't afraid of death. He was afraid of being alone, afraid of the people he loved dying.
xXxKnowingxXx
xSetsuyax
Setsuya came to know all sorts of things about Zuko that he would have never guessed. For instance, Zuko didn't like having his peripheral vision inhibited. This was why he constantly fooled with his hair when it was down. The teenager would twist his mouth if he thought something was too bitter, and wrinkle his nose if it was too sweet. Zuko sighed more often than anyone else because his lungs felt 'pure' when he did. Zuko never gave up an idea or goal unless it was hurting other people. The prince would become very offhanded and sad if the word 'mother' was used around him. One of the teenager's fantasies consisted of the boy in chains on their bed, being held captive by the evil vampire who wanted to keep him as his love slave. Zuko, despite his constant training, tried to use violence at the last resort. The younger man would sometimes poke at his wounds to see if they hurt, and poke at them a few minutes later to see if they still hurt. Zuko always loved marine biology, and would have pursued it further if his father hadn't insisted that he give it up. Zuko's father had always favored his sister, causing the teenager to foster a sensation of inadequacy in everything that he did because of it. When Zuko finally trusted a person, he found it difficult to stop trusting them.
Setsuya never came to learn how much Zuko disliked biting into the same fruit over and over again because he thought it lost its flavor. He didn't know that Zuko clung to people he grew fond of because he was afraid of their death. He didn't realize that Zuko's right hand trembled when he wrote with it because the professors at his academy beat his left wrist as often as they could to teach him to write with the correct hand. He was unaware of the fact that the teenager thought playing hide-and-go-seek was the most boring thing a person could do. He also never knew that Zuko hated crying in front of other people. He didn't realize that the teenager couldn't stand the sound of a heartbeat, and would hyperventilate if he heard his own. He didn't know that Zuko loved foggy days because it felt a bit like the climate around the mainland oceans. He didn't recognize that Zuko sometimes would associate him with a porcupine-hedgehog in his mind: Fiercely defensive when he needed to be, and cuddly soft when circumstances allowed it. Most of all, he didn't know that even though Zuko thought he was a bit too protective, he loved the feeling of someone caring for him that much.
xZukox
Zuko had come to realize a few things about Setsuya during their time together. He learned how the man's inner patience worked, how it could be drawn out when someone was being a pain and severely condensed when someone he cared about was in trouble. Setsuya couldn't go into his restful state if he was lying on his stomach. Setsuya only put up his hair when he went into meetings. The vampire lord didn't like it when people called him, 'Master'. When Setsuya bit his lip, he was anxious and when he rubbed his forehead, he was trying not to lose his temper. Setsuya liked to be dominated during intercourse, but given the reigns he would stir up sensations in another's body that were unimaginable. Setsuya loved to read and write, but only if it was of his own accord. If Zuko pretended to sleep long enough, he would find the vampire crawl into bed with him on occasion. Setsuya, though his demeanor altered, was never a different person around his people than he was in private. Setsuya struggled to keep his paperwork orderly, even though he was a seemingly orderly person.
What he didn't know was that Setsuya was a lover of rain. He was also unaware that the man sometimes spent hours and hours trying not to think about things. He hadn't known that Setsuya had once come within moments of committing suicide at a volcano's edge, but restrained himself for his people. He didn't realize that when Setsuya thought of him, it was hard to think of anything else for a very long time. He never knew that Setsuya went on a hunger strike for weeks upon weeks to persuade the council to approve the Vampire Quarantine Law, which protected humans by isolating vampires who had yet to adapt to their new life. He also didn't realize that Setsuya liked to pray according to monotheistic tradition when no one was around. He didn't know the vampire lord used to like chasing fish in the ocean as a mortal. He never realized that the reason Setsuya didn't cut his hair was because it would never grow back, and the man was afraid it wouldn't look good. Most of all, he never knew how much love scared Setsuya, but he loved anyway because his heart would burst if he didn't.