Hey, thanks for the reviews they were all so nice and are really appreciated! Thanks to twilightobsessed12, Hi, Haayleey, ..Forks and xLinhx for your kind words! :)

So yeah this chapter is definitely the saddest one… for the first few chapters there will be a lot of time jumping until we get to the main part. Sorry if it feels rushed but it needed to be, I'm only going to write the times E and B are apart in a sort of blur, and then it'll get to the good parts :)

Please review because I think this is the first time I have updated twice in one day. And more reviews will mean I will continue doing this :)

(Song for the chapter- Leann Rhymes- It probably wouldnt be this way)

I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt this bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh, you left so fast
Somtimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky
To have had the chance to love this much
So God, give me a moment's grace
Cause if I never see your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Chapter two

March 1942

It had three months since Edward had gone, and to say I hadn't been coping well would be an understatement.

Days went by and yet I barely noticed, I was barely living.

Instead, my entire life was now focused on Edward's letters I was receiving- his beautiful hand written messages that were now coming weekly, always telling me he was okay and that he loved me and missed me.

Apart from that every night I prayed for his safety and that the war would be over soon, I had heard stories of the tragedies, all sounding so unpleasant, and the mere thought of something like that happening to Edward was excruciating.

It seemed more like I was existing instead of living, everyone could tell the difference in me for instance I was no longer talkative, and my personality had seemed to just diminish.

Almost everyday I would walk into the town just to get out of the house that held so many memories of Edward. I would say hello to people but that would be all- they could tell I was just a shell of my former self after all I never found it in me to have any enthusiasm or to even smile at anything. To me there was no point.

I've noticed that its been a while since Edward's last letter… perhaps 10 days or so, but admittedly that did happen often. I hoped and knew that one would come today though.

After glancing at the clock I noticed the time, it was not long until the mail would get here! I suppose I have time to get some groceries first…

After getting ready I set off walking into town; the sunshine was out today and the air felt warmer. Spring was on its way.

Edward would love this weather, he always did love the sun…

However if it was Spring then that also means that summer isn't far away either… meaning it was not far from June, Edward's birthday.

But my fear is- Will Edward be home for his 21st birthday?

…I will just have to believe that he will.

Birthdays had always been sacred to me; my sixteenth will always be my favourite. Mainly because of one bronze haired man…

"Happy birthday Bella" Edward whispered softly to me, as we leant against each other while we sat outside on the grass.

We had spent the day together again; this was possibly the hundredth time he had wished me a happy birthday, it was getting tiresome. But I loved him for it.

Yes after a wonderful epiphany earlier I have come to the realisation that I am in love with my best friend. To be honest I think I had known all along, it just took me time to realise, and I had to grow up a bit before I could really commit myself to him.

Now my problem was deciding whether to tell him the truth or not. Would he return the feelings or would I face rejection?

The latter was definitely frightening…

Edward broke my internal debating by speaking softly,

"Bella… I have something I need to tell you" he told me quietly, I nodded confirming that I was listening.

"I… I" – he paused to clear his throat- "Bella? I love you, I'm in love with you" he said softly, getting straight to the point.

Time seemed to freeze and then suddenly speed up again; did I just hear him correctly?!

"You… love… me?" I managed to squeak out, my voice showing my shock.

He nodded and reached for my hand, when he had hold of it he traced circles onto my palm, "I always have" he whispered, as his bronze hair fell into his face.

I remained silent for too long; he now looked far more nervous then before. But for me it was like all the puzzle pieces had fallen into place- I should have known from the beginning that we were meant to me. It was destiny, just like how the stars shine every night… its what they just do.

Finally to end my silence as I brushed my hands through his hair, I whispered- "I love you too"

His face flashed up to meet mine, his eyes full of hope, "You do?"

I nodded, "Truly I do" I confirmed, I allowed a wide smile to spread across my face.

His smile was just as wide –if not wider- then mine.

In just a second he closed the distance between us and was kissing me everywhere- my forehead, my jaw, my nose…

Finally his lips met my own in a passionate kiss, both of us showing our emotions and just how much we loved each other just through this one action.

When we broke apart he rested his forehead against my own, as one of his hands ran through my hair.

And he quietly whispered- "Bella… You are my life now"

The memory made me feel upset again, because he wasn't here… however this time it also made me feel happy, remembering the good times.

… It also made me feel optimistic, looking forward even more to when he comes back.

… If he comes back.

No, I need to think positive… it's the only way I can keep going.

Admittedly for the first month after he had gone I cried all the time, certain that he was going to die. But now three months on I am living with the belief that he will return. After all he did promise, and he had never broken a promise before, why would he start now?

Deep in thought the whole time, I walked around town silently; people didn't seem surprised that I wasn't talking today- even when I did feel like talking, I never spoke much anyway.

On my way back I bumped into Alice and invited her over, feeling it would be polite of me to do so. I haven't been a good friend to her lately.

When we got to my house, the mailman was there. He saw me and smiled, though I didn't return the emotion.

"'Lot's of mail today Miss Swan" he said cheerfully handing me a big pile or perhaps 5 or 6 letters. I thanked him quietly.

I made my way into my house; Alice followed and shut the door behind her she was quiet- she knew how much Edward's letters meant to me and so left me to the silence to read it, when I found it that is…

I quickly flicked through the letters, feeling more and more disappointed as I saw that each one wasn't from Edward.

I sighed in resignation throwing them down on to the table; I stepped away from them feeling as if I had been stung.

Why wasn't he writing to me anymore?

"Er, Bella?" Alice said hesitantly from behind me.

"Hm…?" I murmured in response, turning around to face her.

She was holding a brown letter out towards me, "I think this one is important" she informed me quietly.

I took it gently from her, noticing that it had the army stamp on it. Maybe this was Edward after all!

I opened it eagerly, my eyes scanning the page, noticing that this had been typed… Edward always writes his letters by hand…

I finally began reading the small capital printed letters, my eyes widening with horror as I took in what the words meant.

"We are sorry to inform you that…"

I continued to read even though I knew the truth from those seven words alone. By the time I reached the end my hands were shaking so much that I couldn't even read, my eyes were blurred with the tears that stung.

… The tears that stung no where near as much as the truth did.

It wasn't Edward writing to tell me he loved me, it was an officer telling me the horrifying reality, my worst nightmare…

Edward. Had. Died.

After only three months in service, three short months… he was gone.

By this point the paper felt heavy in my hands, I let it fall to the floor- it fluttered and swayed hitting the ground just as my legs gave out underneath me as well and I fell to the floor next to it in a heap. I lay on my side, as I stared unblinking, letting the tears fall from me onto the wooden floors.

"I'm so sorry Bella" Alice said softly as she cried with me, feeling my pain- she was my best friend after all. She laid beside me pulling me into a tight hug, but I couldn't feel the comfort.

Instead, I could only get out two words, which I kept repeating like a chant, "He's dead?"

The love of my life, the core of my existence was gone…? Just like that?

He promised he would come back… he broke the promise.

My beautiful, magnificent Edward was gone forever.

It was silent for a long time, the sun set and soon we were covered in darkness. Alice managed to pull me onto a chair next to her to get me off the floor, which had gone cold… not like I felt it.

"What am I going to do?" I sobbed helplessly aware that my statement had come out of no where.

Alice reacted quickly though, "It'll be okay," she said gently, almost like a chant "you can come and live with me for a while or with your parents, we'll take care of you, it'll be okay, it'll get better" she said soothingly.

It did little to help as the pain continued to crush me, dragging me under.

"That's not it Alice…" – I wasn't afraid for where I was going to live, instead I was afraid of how I was going to keep on surviving, keep on breathing- "I-I can't live without him, I can't!" I sobbed through my tears.

I allowed the scenarios to run through my head and then it hit me- could I end my own life to be reunited with him?

I so desperately wanted to, but as I looked at Alice who was crying just at seeing my pain, and I thought about my parents- my loving kind parents. They were also close to Edward and I knew that this news would hurt them- having to learn of my death so soon after would only crush them so much more.

Could I do that to them so soon?

How was I even able of thinking of things so soon?

As an even stronger wave of grief then before hit me, I collapsed onto Alice, resting my head on her shoulder, feeling too weak to support myself.

His words played through my mind- 'never think that you can't be happy- just do what it takes to make yourself so.'

'…Even if I don't come back don't think that you don't deserve happiness.'

He just didn't understand though. I can't be happy without him, it's impossible.

But would he want me to die…?

I doubt it.

…I wanted to die though.

By this point I was numb, I let go of Alice and allowed myself to fall to the floor again, my head hitting the wood with a resounding bang.

I could feel wetness pooling in my hair and moisture running down my cheeks but I didn't pay any attention.

Instead I allowed the dark waters to pull me under, never fighting for the surface.

Like a whisper my voice kept telling me… He's never coming back.

And I believed myself.

Next chapter preview:

"Bella I have something exciting to tell you!" Alice said excitedly, jumping up at down.

"Oh yeah?" I murmured uninterested, my voice flat.

"I met someone! His name's Jasper, he's just returned from the war- he said he knew Edward!!"

Poor Bella :(

Review and I'll update soon! The story will get a lot more interesting from here, I know that this chapter was bad but I did try hard.. it was just difficult to write, but yeah :)

Thanks for reading!