well looks like i might finish this one shot first.. .. soo here it is!
oh yea!this chapter is based on linkin park's 'in the end'. that's also where i got my idea for the title. you see this chapter i visualized in my head while i was in da car goin sme where... ..i forgot where though...
I tore my dead gaze away from the floor and looked at the shadow engulfed figure that just talked. My eyes adjusted to the dim light and I was able to see the pretty white that outlined the red clouds clearly. Itachi ever so nicely put- dropped- me on the ground.
"Ouch...!" I landed flat on the cold ground face first. I sluggishly sat up and kneeled on on my knees holding my nose. It hurt as did my stomach, elbows, knees, and thighs. "You didn't have to drop me. . ." I mumbled.
Itachi ' hn' ed and i soon felt a piercing gaze on me. It belonged to my father as did the suffocating chakra that wrapped around me. His chakra feels like a thin film covering me. . . daring me to do something stupid so he could 'scold' me.
"Nice to finally have you back. . . Thailand..." Leader said.
I just realized that he doesn't deserve the title 'father anymore.' "Hmn. It don't feel nice to be back..." I mumbled. Staring at the ground, it felt more and more like I was drowning. A sign that Leader was becoming unhappy with me. When I was little and did something to make him unhappy with me like make the kitchen stink from burning brownies in the microwave(A/N true story. if u want i culd add a chapter to xplain this.) or flying away for hours with out telling him, he would release his chakra and it would surround me. It was like being held under water or having my air supply cut off. At any rate I know I better cool it before he does something to me.
"It was quiet when you ran away."He started walking toward me as I stood up. "Now tell me, Why did you that?" He asked. He was in front of me now and Itachi and Kisame had backed up to the door. Ready to run if Leader got pissed at my answer.
"Why? You honestly want to know why???"My heart beat is starting to race now. I'm about to do something not like me; not like me at all. No one in the entire Akatsuki has the guts to say what I'm about say now. Or it could just be the stupidity to say what I'm about to say. . . either way I could die. So here goes nothing.
"I don't know why, it didn't even matter how hard I tried. Keep that in mind as I explain in due time. All I know time is a valuable thing watch it fly by as the pendulum swings. Watch it count down to the end of the day, as it ticks life away. . . So unreal. . ." I took a deep breath and blinked. I looked behind me at Itachi and Kisame. They looked back with curious and nervous looks. Kisame fidgeted some as I stared hard at him. Why won't they stop me before I say something I'll regret? That's what they used to do! I continued my 'rant'; "I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart. What it meant to be became a memory of a time I tried so hard!
"I tried so hard and got so far! No matter what I did, it wasn't god enough! But in the end it didn't matter! It doesn't matter!! I had ta fall to lose it all! One mistake in front of you and I wouldn't be able to get a break! But it doesn't matter!" I looked to my left. when did Zetsu get here?! "In spite of the way you were mocking me- ," I turned back to Leader." - and acting like I was part of your property. . . ! I'm not surprised it got this far..." Why did I let this happen? Why am now jus' growing a back bone? Am I shaking?
"Th-" I didn't let who ever just spoke finish.
"I kept everything inside! I tried so HARD to be the perfect shinobi for you! I kept all my sadness which turned to depression in and put up a front! And even though I tried it all-"
"THAILAND!" some how I managed to recognize Itachi's sweet, velvety, sexy voice through my rant. He's never yelled at me like that.
I turned to look at him, my breath coming fast. Wow yelling like this feels so good! "What. . . !?"
He gave me that 'excuse me, watch- who- you're- talkin'- to' look. He started walking toward me. "Calm down and listen." His voice is so. . . reassuring. I looked up some at him; at his pretty sharingan. He's so calm and composed. . . I could just. . . wasn't I just- why is the ceiling red??? Damn! Damn his sharingan!
"Thai, please, listen. When I release my genjustu listen to leader. I've never seen him so. . ." Itachi said choosing his second sentence words carefully.
I closed my eyes and opened them after a few seconds. Then sighed. "Fine. . ." Blinking I turned around and looked at Leader. He actually looked. . . hurt. Omjeeze! Did I hurt his feelings?
"Thailand. . . I- I'm sorry. If you couldn't handle the pressure, y-you shoulda' told me. Told someone! I would've let up if I knew!" Leader's trying to be calm. "I adopted you for a reason!"
"You adopted me to be your wea-"
"You're a double war orphan with a special ability that caught my eye. Call me cold! Call me whatever you want! But I didn't know that when Konan first found you when you were a baby!" He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt lifting me off the ground. His voice became low as he continued. "I said it was okay to look after you some but when you turned two, we gave you to an orphanage that we thought was safe from war. When she found out that that one had been bombed two years later, she went and got you... But I adopted you because you're like me. An orphan of a war that involved Konohagakure. I felt sorry for you and I didn't want you to grow up like I did."
"But you had ma- I mean Konan. . ." I was finally at a loss for words. My eyes teared up as my wings started to flap weakly. A slight breeze had started that became stronger as I tried to fly up. All I could hear in my ears was my strong wing beat and my breath. Leader let go of me and I drifted up wards towards the rooms high ceiling stopping about a quarter up. "I put my trust in you. . . all of you. You could've told me all this... !" What does he mean 'double' war orphan?! If he wanted me so badly why not keep me when you first found me?!
I let out a loud scream and continued to scream as I pounded the stone wall. I screamed a long time; until I lost my voice. I hit the wall until I couldn't feel my right hand and the side of my left hand was bruised. I drifted aimlessly in the air dazed. I felt dead. Really dead.
"What's wrong? Why are they calling Thai a psycho?"Some one asked concern in their feminine voice.
So now I'm a psycho. . . great. I looked down. It was Konan who spoke and only leader was still here; everyone else was gone. I drifted down towards Leader and he looked at me as did Konan.
". . . I'm sorry. I should have told you and treated you better." Leader looked really sad. Wow I made him feel an emotion.
My lifeless eyes met his again and he opened his arms to me. I drifted into them and he held me tight to him. He stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth in a comforting motion. I didn't know what to feel but hearing Leader's soft voice, I felt like I should feel something. "I promise that things'll be different from now on if you stay."
". . . Promise?" I asked quietly with my lost voice.
"Promise."