A/N- Hii, thanks to everyone who reviewed again! The reviews were lovely, and yay(!) we reached the target! So thanks to- Haayleyy (:, since1918, vampiregirl1654, bat'cha, twilightseries4life, twilightfan27, Mombailey, ash pash.x, Rolange, caww, edwardandbella4everxoxo, lionlambluv, aman, twilightlovergirl, Always-Here-Imani, call-it-golden, the doll tales., mysoundlesssilentscream, lemon-fizzay-pop, fiona, Isabella and safarise for reviewing! It's so appreciated!

Special thanks to all those who have remained loyal to this story, you know who you all are! :) x

This chapter is basically the second part of the last chapter, so the setting is still the warehouse late at night. In the next chapter time will move on again, and some big decisions will be made, but this chapter is about finding out the truth again. This chapter also shows how Bella's a bit unstable and insecure about everything. Which I've tried to include simply because I know she wouldn't just be 'normal' after three years thinking Edward's dead… would anyone if they were ever in that situation though? I hope it's okay.

Please review, can we possibly reach 100? That would be quite an achievement, I would be amazed? So, pretty please?! :))

Thinking of you

Chapter seven

Song for the chapter- (Fallen- Sarah McLachlan)

'We all begin with good intent, when love was raw and young,

We believed that we could change ourselves, the past can be undone.

But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals,

In the lonely light of morning, the wound that would not heal,

It's the bitter taste of losing everything I have held so dear…

Though I've tried, I've fallen I have sunk so low,

I have messed up, better I should know.

So don't come round here, and tell me I told you so…'

Previously…

He rested his lips against my forehead, still not breathing, "hmm?" he murmured quietly.

I knew how bizarre my question must have sounded, but it was the only way I could think to word it. I took a deep breath and then finally asked-

"How are you not breathing right now?"

March 1945

After I asked my question everything seemed so silent for the longest time. The atmosphere had shifted and it now felt tense and uncomfortable as compared to soothing before. I shivered noticing the cold again, and instantly snuggled closer to Edward- only to find that he was colder then the night air, and that he only made me feel colder.

He didn't say anything for a long while, judging by the expression on his face he was clearly considering his options, and whether to tell me the truth or not- and what way to word it.

"Wh-what are you talking about Bella?" he eventually replied smiling slightly- though it was clearly forced.

"You… you weren't breathing," I stated, not wanting or accepting his hesitation, I needed to know the truth- "How is that possible…?" I urged him on, looking up at him.

He closed his eyes tightly and then leant his forehead against my own; his arms were still wound tightly around me and were previously swaying us from side to side, but now they just lay still around me.

"I told you I would tell the truth Bella," he said quietly, his sweet cold breath sweeping across my face. "…But do I really have to now? There's plenty of time for that…"

"Edward" - I cut him off, my voice sounded impatient and was almost bordering on rude - "please just tell me now, I need to know," I said quietly, toning my voice down.

He leant back from me slightly so he could look me in the eye; I kept my gaze even and determined. Although they seemed hard and frozen at first his golden eyes eventually became softer and he sighed again, defeated.

"Okay" he agreed, "I'll explain it from the beginning, before any of… this… happened" he explained gesturing to himself and his eyes.

"Thank you" I breathed, leaning against him again.

He breathed in for the first time in a long while, it sounded shaky and unsteady, he must have been mentally preparing himself.

"…It was March the 7th that it happened" he began explaining, his voice low, "all was fine, I of course missed you insanely, and the strain of the war was getting to me and all the other men. We were all tired and worn and missed home, but apart from that there was nothing amiss, we thought we would have a day without fighting where we could just rest" he explained, pausing for a brief moment before continuing-

"However half way through the day we got word that an attack was coming, we all rushed to prepare to fight them, collecting our weapons and gathering everyone together. Once we had done that we made our way back on to the fields"

"We were all lined and prepared however once the shots were beginning to fire I realised that in the rush though I had forgotten to put my protective suit on… I didn't realise until I was hit," he said sadly, flinching as he spoke the final word.

"Your friend Jasper told me what happened, you were shot weren't you?" I whispered softly, tears already forming in my eyes just imagining the horror that Edward had to endure.

"You know Jasper?" Edward asked, he looked surprised as he lifted his head to look at me again.

I nodded, "He returned from the war shortly after what happened to you. Actually come to think of it he and Alice recently married… he told me that he knew you, and what happened"

"Oh…" – he still seemed surprised- "well, it's a small world isn't it?"

"It is" I agreed, lying my head on his shoulder. It was silent for a long time, and I realised he wasn't intending on resuming his story- "please continue for me," I begged him quietly, urging him on again.

He nodded, pressing his cheek against mine. "… Jasper was right about what happened to me" he said quietly, his breath cold against my cheek. "I was shot, and I was unnoticed for a while until the attack passed by. It was Jasper who found me, but by that point I was… numb. I could feel the life drawing away from me, but I held on- I didn't want to die, all I could think was 'I can't leave Bella', but I couldn't fight it" he explained softly. "… And that's when it happened"

He was shaking by this point clearly remembering and reliving everything. I pulled myself even closer to him then before, trying to calm him down slightly.

He didn't speak after that- he didn't even look at me; he just kept his eyes tightly closed.

"Edward… it's okay," I said quietly, resting my hand on his cheek.

"It's not Bella…" he whispered quietly, "Nothing's okay… I'm not what I was"

I didn't understand what he meant at all. What was he?!

What was he talking about?

"Please just tell me" I pleaded with him desperately.

"… You'll hate me" he whispered, not looking at me.

"H-hate you?" I gasped feeling completely surprised, "Edward… that's not even possible" I insisted, knowing it was completely true.

"I'm a monster" he murmured, now looking down from me again.

"A monster?!" I gasped, "Edward that's not true…"

He cut me off again- "It is," he said bitterly.

And after that he gently withdrew his arms from around me, but then walked away. He turned his back on me and walked towards the edge of the building, whilst I stood in the middle.

"Edward? What are you doing…?" I asked in a panic, following him hurriedly.

"I'll only ruin your life…" he murmured to himself, not really answering my question.

He walked right towards the edge and sat on it leaving his legs dangling over, he looked downwards at the city below us, his expression heartbroken and torn.

Was he going to jump?

Was he going to leave me?

"Don't go" I whispered, "please" I begged him, reaching my hand towards him.

He leant away from me and looked even further over the edge, that simple action was enough to cause me to react. It seemed like everything around was spinning and I was numb to all that was around me.

I knew I was possibly overreacting, but this whole situation felt like some other memory that was so familiar to me, it felt like the pain that I had experienced before.

…It reminded me of the heartache I endured three years ago- … '"He's dead?!'"

'"What am I going to do?"

"I-I can't live without him, I can't!"…

No matter what, I just couldn't face that again.

And so as the tears made their way down my cheeks I pleaded- "Edward! Please don't leave me! Please… not again!" I yelled into the cold air.

At the sound of my pleas, he turned around from his position on the edge, his eyes widening as he saw me and noticed the devastated state that I was currently in.

"Bella…?" he whispered, alarmed, he stood up from his sitting position and then took one slow step towards me.

I was still hysterical and completely caught up in my own blind panic- "I-I can't lose you… please, please don't go" I begged him, barely noticing that he was approaching me until he was standing directly opposite.

He lifted up his hands and gently cradled my face; his own eyes looked alarmed- completely shocked and stunned by my outburst.

"I'm not going anywhere Bella," he said softly, brushing his thumbs across my cheeks.

I was trying to calm myself down, I placed my hands over his which were still holding my face gently.

I stuttered while speaking- "But- I thought that you…"

He cut me off by shaking his head, "I will never leave you again Bella, I promise I'll be with you forever, unless if you ask me to go…"

This time I cut him off- "That will never happen" I argued with him, my voice now stronger then before.

He smiled widely at that, "I love you," he said softly, leaning forward to kiss away the last of my tears.

"Do you still want me to continue?" he asked quietly against my skin.

I nodded, leaning against his shoulder again. He wrapped his arms around my waist loosely, and one of his hands rubbed my back softly.

"… As well as meeting Jasper while as war there was another friend I had, his name was Dr. Carlisle Cullen, he was there helped the wounded alongside his wife Esme who was a nurse."

I was confused as to where this part of the story was heading, but I didn't say anything.

"They were both wonderful people, I never noticed that there was anything different. But when I was shot Carlisle just happened to be around… I could hear him talking, pronouncing to everyone that I was dead. At the time I was confused- I knew I was still alive, though barely, and I didn't understand why he was lying to everyone"

"But then he carried me away from everyone, and he told me that he could save me. He told me it involved changing and a horrible amount of pain, but that the end result would mean that I would still be 'alive'. He seemed to accept it was what I wanted, and then he made the change… he made me like them"

The way he worded it made it sounds like a horror story, but surely it couldn't be? He was here, and perfect and alive, horrors only equal evil creatures, and pain and darkness.

I swallowed loudly, "And what does being 'like them' mean?" I asked him quietly.

He closed his eyes once more, his expression more pained then I had ever seen- "It means that I'm… I'm a…" he stuttered, unable to speak the words.

"Tell me Edward, it's okay," I said soothingly, just giving him that final push.

He froze for a moment, before nodding, he stuttered again as he finally spoke- "Bella… he made me… I'm a vampire."

Vampire.

I gasped loudly, the sound echoing in the distance. My heart rate rose again as my breath came in quick gasps- it was a instant reaction, to a word I will admit I was afraid of.

"I'm sorry Bella" he whispered against my hair, his voice was so broken he sounded like he was crying.

Was that possible?

"W-why are you sorry?" I asked against his chest, my voice shaking slightly. "You didn't choose this" I murmured.

"Well… no…" he agreed, "but I'm still a monster"

I shook my head against his chest, trying to tell him he wasn't, I wanted to find the words to tell him to stop calling himself that, he was Edward he was… everything, wonderful, beautiful, brave and loving… I doubt that he had any evil in him at all.

However as I considered everything, at the same time my mind was doing cartwheels.

What if… he had changed? What if he was a monster?!

I tried to think of the little I knew about vampires, however all I could think about was the novel Dracula which I had read about five years ago.

I remembered the horror tales of how Dracula murdered people at night, and how he had drunk them dry and left them cold.

Although almost everything in me told me that Edward wouldn't be like that, the back of my mind kept asking me- could he?

One thing I knew about vampires was their diet, and that there was one thing they couldn't cope without. Unfortunately getting this, meant killing people along the way…

Had Edward killed people?!

"How many?" I whispered, pulling away from him slightly.

He still had his face pressed against my hair- "How many what?" he asked quietly.

I tried not to relax too much in his gentle hold- "How many… people… have you killed?" I asked reluctantly.

He froze again for a moment, before resuming his soothing action of rubbing my back. "No one" he replied calmly.

"No one…?" I asked in shock, "But how do you…?"

He pulled away from me, so we were now standing face to face, he kept his arms around my waist though, keeping me close to him.

His eyes were wide and serious as he spoke- "I do drink blood Bella, but only animals," he insisted, "I've never tried a humans blood before… although that is very difficult sometimes. After all only drinking from animals means going against my natural instinct, but I couldn't bare the thought of ever killing anyone" he said gently, his voice and expression sincere.

… Now he sounded like the wonderful, selfless Edward I loved.

"I-is that why you stayed away for so long, because you needed to be away from humans?" I asked quietly.

"Yes" he said "I found it very… difficult to adjust to this lifestyle, it was a year before I could even bear to be around a human, even then it felt near on impossible." He explained quietly.

One question bubbled in my throat, I didn't even realise I had said it until U heard it out loud- "Why did you come back?"

He didn't even seem surprised at my question, "…I was always going to come back, I said I would" he said softly, smiling at me, "Last October, Carlisle, Esme and I left France and came back to America. They bought a house in the state of Washington and I went with them, but then when I realised just how close you were… I went insane, I couldn't stay and watch Carlisle and Esme look so in love when I knew that my love was still in Chicago" he said gently, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Last December I told them I was leaving for a while- I didn't tell them where I was heading, just that I had something to do. I made my way here and soon discovered you were still living in our house, I saw you working, and talking with your friends… you looked so happy… I didn't want to ruin it" he said sadly, his expression guilty.

I wanted that guilt to disappear; he was the one who made me happy, why should he feel guilty for coming back?

"I wasn't happy Edward" I sighed, looking downward, "It was always an act"

"I know that now" he sighed, pulling me closer to him, "but I genuinely thought you were. I saw you agreeing to be with that Jacob person, and I thought you had moved on." – his voice sounded so heartbroken- "But still I wanted to be sure. And so I decided to stay a while, just watching you from a distance in case you ever needed me" he explained quietly.

"I was prepared to go, to leave you to your life, I packed all this afternoon and called Carlisle to tell him I was coming back. Needless to say him and Esme were thrilled, but I was unsettled- I felt like I needed to come and see you just one last time. But as I was on my way to your house I saw you heading here…" he paused for a second, his eyes now focused on the edge of the building. "I didn't know what to think until you made your way to the top, I planned to stop you and run- you would never know I was here – but I needed to be quick"

"And then…" he closed his eyes slowly, "you said you loved me as you prepared to jump, and I realised that I was the reason for it. You had never stopped loving me, and then... everything's changed" he said softly, opening his eyes to look back at me, his beautiful golden eyes meeting my brown ones.

My heart was racing and my mind was whirling at his explanation, it was incredible to finally understand the truth.

However I couldn't help but think one thing, and that was he really was too selfless – and stupid – to think I was or could ever happy without him.

…That wasn't even a possibility.

"Are you ever going to go back to Carlisle?" I asked quietly,

"I don't know," he admitted, "It probably won't be for a while though, I'm not leaving you again" he said softly, brushing his fingers along my cheek.

"…Couldn't I go with you?" I asked him quietly, smiling the best I could.

He didn't seem to like that idea for some reason, but his voice was still gentle as he replied- "Perhaps someday…" he nodded, "just not yet though"

I nodded biting my lip, showing him that accepting his answer… for now.

The distance between us was far too wide, and so I slowly took the final step towards him, closing the distance yet again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, while he instantly wrapped his around my back; he ran his fingers through my hair as he hummed quietly.

"I still have more questions you know" I said, trying to make my voice light, "… but for now let's leave everything the way it is"

He was silent for a moment, "You're not afraid of me then?" he asked hesitantly.

I waited a couple of seconds before replying, glad that my voice was strong- "Not of you" I said sincerely, "I'm only afraid of losing you"

I felt him smile against my cheek, "That'll never happen, I promise" he whispered gently.

"I love you"

Next chapter preview:

"Bella, where on earth have you been?! I've been worried sick!"

Gah, hope this chapter was okay :/ Just to assure- Everything else will be explained, I haven't forgotten about his power, his bloodlust for Bella or about Jacob/Alice and everyone else, or anything like that! It's just going to take a little while for everything to be answered, I just thought it would be too crammed in for him to tell her everything. It won't be long until he does though, I'm predicting there will only be about 5/6 more chapters plus an epilogue, so there won't be much waiting around!

Please review- because you have all been so amazing so far, why end that?!

Thanks for reading :)