A/N- Hii again, as usual here are my chapter thanks. This time to- JenniCullen, ISOFUNNY1995, anu1989, lionlambluv, Sera, Alys09, dogsrplayful, since1918, twilightlover90, MissStrawberries, kaygirlrach, caww, hardygirl87, mysoundlesssilentscream, EmmaCullen1917, j5girl31012, Thirsty4Blood and Luvinlifee for the awesome reviews! I will reply to peoples reviews, but I dont have the time- I'm rushing to get this chapter out! But yeah, thanks so much, this story would be nothing without all of you! Individual thank you's will come with the next chapter. :)

So yeah, this is the last proper chapter. Theres only the epilogue to go after this which should be up within the week- I've already started working on it :) This is a nice long chapter, perhaps the longest one of the story. So I really hope you all enjoy it and agree with the ending.

Please review!

Thinking of you

Chapter eleven

(Song for the chapter- don't forget to remember me- Carrie Underwood)

Eighteen years had come and gone, for momma they flew by…
But for me they drug on and on.
We were loading up that Chevy, Both tryin' not to cry…
Momma kept on talking, putting off good-bye.
Then she took my hand and said, 'baby don't forget…

Before you hit the highway, You better stop for gas…
There's a 50 in the ashtray, In case you run short on cash.
Here's a map and here's a bible, If you ever lose your way…
Just one more thing before you leave… Don't forget to remember me.'

Previously…

As I felt his cold skin touch my own- which was warm in comparison- I was reminded of what else I wanted… more then anything in the world. "There's something else that I want too" I told him quietly.

He held me closer then ever before, nuzzling my neck with his nose, "Anything my love…"

"I want to be like you" I whispered, noticing how he stiffened in confusion. I cleared my throat and explained in more detail- "I want to be able to live with you forever, and for us to never be separated by death… I want…" I paused for a brief moment, smiling as I whispered-

"I want to be a vampire"

March 1945

Although Edward had just said that he would give me anything, it was clear that he was not expecting me to ask for this, he probably wished for anything in exchange.

But this was all I wanted.

I knew he was worried, his arms- which were still wrapped around me - became rigid, and his breathing stopped. His expression had changed from content too anxious, his golden eyes never leaving my own.

His voice was quiet as he whispered his long awaited response, "Bella you don't know what you're asking for…"

I sighed knowing thathe would be reluctant about this.

…It was a good thing I had my arguments already prepared in my mind.

I placed my hand on his cheek, smiling slightly when he didn't move away from my touch- "I do though Edward," I whispered back to him.

I noticed that his expression didn't change at all at my comment, I sighed softly, placing my head back on his shoulder for a brief moment before moving back to my position looking him in the eye.

"Edward… you're not ageing…" I whispered, "I know that I'm not older then you physically yet, but it won't be long until I am" I told him sadly.

He shook his head, before kissing my hair and whispering into it- "That's not a problem, you're beautiful."

I won't stay the same though.

I couldn't help it- I pulled away from him so his arms were only hanging loose at his sides. I hated that he didn't understand what I was saying, and that he already seemed so against this.

"…What about when I so old that people think I'm your mother?" I eventually asked him slowly, my voice bitter and frightened.

He reached out to touch my cheek, hurt momentarily flashing across his face when I flinched away from his hand.

The hurt was quickly hidden as he held on to me even tighter then before, as if he didn't want to lose me. "Even then it won't be a problem… not to me," he whispered softly in my ear.

I tried to get out of his grip, "Of course it will!" I yelled in frustration, "Edward I don't want to die and leave you behind…"

He shook his head, "You won't be leaving me behind- I'll follow shortly after. Admittedly I don't know of a way how to do that yet… but I'll find one"

I sighed once again out of frustration, "Edward, what's the point in that? If you just change me, we can have forever together. Theres no need to die… why can't you understand that?" I asked him loudly, before feeling the traitorous tears begin to form around the edges of my eyes. "…Is it because you can't stand the thought of having me around forever?" I whispered, feeling my heart break and shatter at my own words.

His face looked like I had just slapped him- it was filled with hurt, and this time he didn't try to hide it. "H-how can you say that? You're all that I want, of course I want to be with you forever" he murmured, crushing me to his chest as he spoke.

I sighed softly at his touch, but still couldn't help but feel hurt by his reluctance.

"If you mean what you said, then why are you so against this…?" I eventually whispered- my voice almost too quiet to hear.

He exhaled a shaky breath, and then placed his head in the crook my neck, his cool breath blew across me as he spoke- "Because… I don't want to damn you to this, I want you to be able to enjoy the perfect life you deserve" he admitted softly. "Bella, I don't want you to have to hide from the sunlight, or have to cope with the guilt of killing living animals just for their blood. You're too valuable to become like this… you're just too wonderful to be eternally damned" he murmured, kissing my neck gently.

I waited until he pulled away before I spoke- I knew I couldn't focus on what I was going to say with him if he stayed in that position.

I took a deep breath before replying, "Edward, I can cope with the changes that it brings. I don't mind about trivial things like that… all I want is the knowledge that I can be with you" I insisted.

He was shaking his head once again though, "But Bella you're already giving up so much… you're leaving your family and your friends behind just for me. How can I take away your humanity as well?" he whispered sadly.

I knew that I had to sound strong and determined if I had any chance of convincing him to do this though.

"I don't see any other alternative" I murmured, "Edward… if I can't become like you, then I just don't know how this can work. You're all I want Edward… you're all I will ever want, but with all these differences between us, I fear a proper relationship between us wouldn't be possible."

I noticed that Edward now looked panicked, obviously knowing where I was heading with this.

I was giving him an ultimatum, it was harsh of me, but I knew it was my opportunity- I couldn't be with Edward knowing that I was going to lose him again like before.

Really this was my only choice.

"You don't know that Bella, we haven't really tried yet" he told me, desperation clear in his voice, he held onto me tighter as if I was a lifeline.

"I do know Edward, I know more then you think I do, and I know that I couldn't be with you if it meant losing you again." I whispered, noticing how his expression was beginning to shift into contemplation.

I decided to use my final argument, "Tell me something Edward- if the roles were reversed and I was the vampire and you were the human, what would you want?"

He didn't say anything for a while, seeming like he was surprised at my question. "I-I… I wouldn't want to become like this" he eventually stuttered.

I knew what the stuttering meant- "You're lying Edward" I whispered in annoyance.

He sighed and rested his forehead against my own, "Alright, maybe I would want to become a vampire." He admitted reluctantly, "But Bella, just consider it from my perspective- say the situation was reversed, would you want to change me, knowing that it would be taking away my humanity?"

Wow… I didn't expect him to throw my own question back at me.

I knew my answer though.

"I… yes, I would." I replied softly, "If it was what you wanted, and I knew it was the only way for us to be together, then yes I would change you"

He nodded, seeming like he was contemplating my words. There was no way to be sure what he was thinking though… I didn't know if he was going to keep on insisting on the answer no, or if he was finally considering saying yes.

I knew that deep down he wanted to, he was just afraid of me regretting my decision.

I felt tears once again welling up in my eyes at the thought of him saying no- I just didn't want to lose him again, but it seemed like a possible option.

I rested my forehead against his neck, and allowed the tears to fall. "Edward… I've waited three years for you to come back to me. I have never asked you directly for anything, but I'm asking you to do this for me"

I took a deep breath; aware that he was looking down at me- watching the way I spoke, the tears that were falling.

And so with that knowledge, I whispered- "Please change me… let me be with you forever."

*~*~*

One week later…

The day of my leaving had finally come… quicker then I ever could have imagined.

…Granted it had only taken a week for me to tell every one of my plans, and to pack up my belongings. In between all of that and the planning for what I was going to do next the days had just flown by… probably because I felt like I was busy for the first time in ages- I didn't feel like I was just wasting time like before.

I didn't know whether I liked the fact that my days in Chicago had come to an end before I even knew it was happening.

Whether I liked it or not, it had happened.

And so here I stood silently as everyone talked amongst eachother- they seemed to realise that my mind was currently elsewhere, probably assuming that I was memorising my surroundings.

They were right to some extent… because although my eyes were facing towards the Chicago City skyline, my mind was in a completely different place, focused completely on the outcomes of my decision.

I noticed this morning that it was the 1st of April- in other words it was the start of another month, time was moving forward quickly.

It was also close to spring now- I could that tell from how the air felt slightly warmer. Even though there was still heavy cloud and strong wind, there was definitely a fresher feeling in the air.

The seasons were definitely changing… and with that thought came a small epiphany- the winter changing into the spring was like a metaphor for my life at the moment.

I was changing… leaving all that I've ever known behind.

Even though I still wasn't listening to anyone's conversations, there was no way that I could avoid Alice stepping in front of me, tears now filling her eyes. "I just can't believe your going today… can't you stay any longer?" she whimpered sadly, clutching on to my arm desperately.

I also sighed out of deep sadness- out of everyone; it was Alice who had taken the news of my departure the worst. In fact, I actually did come close to changing my mind when I first told her I was going, and she begged me not to go in response.

I considered staying here but soon came to the realisation that I couldn't go back on my decision.

So instead, I wiped away my tears and told her I would always be her best friend- we would never lose contact. And with much reluctance she eventually accepted my decision, though I could tell that she wasn't completely happy with it.

However she had clearly now decided to make her protests known once again.

"I can't put it off any longer, I have to go Al," I whispered to her so no one else could hear, trying not to look at her expression anymore.

In comparison to Alice, everyone else was accepting when I told them my reasons for going. My mother Renee, however, seemed certain that I would change my mind about this, she thought I would back out after realising what I was leaving behind.

Once again, there was no way I would go back on my decision.

I knew all along that I would leave Chicago, whether I went with Edward or not. It was inevitable… I needed a fresh start, and a chance to re-build my life. The decision wasn't based on whether I would live with Edward or live with myself- I knew I would go anyway.

It was time for me to do this.

I was an adult… twenty years old, only several months from being twenty-one. And so technically my life hadn't really begun, but I feared that I wouldn't get the most out of my life here. I was and had always been too sheltered by everyone, and it wasn't fair to them for me to be such a burden- I had to be the one to make the change.

I knew it was nearing the time I was going to go, but even as I stood opposite all my friends and family- who were lined up to say goodbye to me- I knew that I would never regret the decision to leave home. Even though I would miss then all so much.

I also knew that I wasn't certain of anything- I didn't know what the future held, and what it would bring- but I was excited about it nonetheless.

I didn't want to fear the unknown so instead I had decided that I would welcome it with open arms.

…Finally, the clock striked twelve, and everyone knew that it was my time to go.

I took my time saying goodbye to everyone individually.

I said goodbye to Edward snr and Elizabeth – Edward's parents- first, it was definitely the easiest goodbye, as I was able to leave words to a minimum.

Despite the easiness I could still feel the tears beginning to form already and I had barely even begun.

I tried to blink them away but failed them miserably; Elizabeth noticed and smiled kindly at me.

She tried to reassure me- "For what it's worth Bella, I think you're doing the right thing, I really do. Edward would have been so proud of you," she whispered softly, placing her hand on my cheek.

My eyes widened as her comment surprised me- it had been a long time since anyone had mentioned Edward like that. It really was touching to think that she was thinking about him in that way, at such a significant moment.

The tears continued to fall from my own eyes as I hugged her tightly. "Thank you Elizabeth," I whispered to her in response, my voice cracking with emotion.

She nodded as she wiped her own tears that were falling quickly- obviously due to the memory of losing her youngest son, I knew that she wasn't even close to recovering from the shock of him dying.

And in that moment I hated that she would never know the truth, that he was alive. I hated that I couldn't tell her, because she didn't deserve this unnecessary hurt.

That was another reason I couldn't stay- I couldn't continue lying to peoples faces everytime I saw them. I wasn't a good liar, and I knew that every time I visited Edward Snr, Elizabeth or Emmett and saw their eyes - which were the exact replica of Edwards - that I wouldn't be able to look at them and not tell the truth.

I wasn't that type of person.

The next people to say goodbye to were Emmett, Rosalie and their daughter Lillian.

As I hugged and kissed Lilly I felt a pang of sadness at the thought of not being able to watch her grow up. She was already so beautiful… it would be her first birthday next month, and she had already grown so much in such a short space of time. I knew that would only continue though.

After her, I hugged Rosalie knowing that I would miss her a lot- she had become such a good friend to me despite our obvious differences.

And I knew I would miss Emmett dreadfully as well… he had recently started becoming the happy, fun loving guy again… the one that he was before Edward died. He was the Emmett everyone knew and loved… including me.

I would miss his happiness and his jokes… he had a natural ability to make anyone smile.

I said goodbye to Alice and Jasper next; and as expected their goodbye took the longest time. It was mostly due to that fact that Alice refused to let go of me. It got to the point that Jasper eventually had to pry her off, only to find that I didn't want to let Alice go at that point.

After that point everyone just stood back and let us cry together for a while, before I come to realisation that I would have to go soon- it was past the time that I had originally planned to go already.

I told Alice that I would have to go, and she agreed after pulling me into one final hug. "How am I going to live without you…?" she whispered sadly, "I'm going to miss you so much. You're my best friend… my sister" I sighed and hugged her tighter, momentarily not knowing what to say to that… what could I say?

Eventually after several moments silence I whispered to her, "You're the best sister I could have ever wished for… I'll miss you so much as well."

She nodded, and surprisingly she didn't argue or beg me to stay anymore- I knew that she had accepted that I was going, and despite the pain she was clearly experiencing, she didn't make any protest, knowing that I wasn't backing out.

I quickly hugged Jasper goodbye, and then went to the final people- my parents.

"Oh my baby… are you sure about this, you can stay here you know" Renee asked sadly as her eyes filled with tears, brushing my hair away from my face as she spoke.

I nodded, "I'm sure mom… I have to do this."

She nodded in response, and then began one of her infamous rants while she continued to play with my hair; "You'll visit though right? I don't feel ready to lose you yet baby girl." She whispered to me, while I nodded in response.

"…Okay as your sure of this, remember what I tell you now- while you're on your journey, don't forget to put gas in that pretty car of yours… you don't want to break down in the middle of nowhere. Me and your father have left some money in the glove compartment just in case of that happening… we also put a map in there in case you get lost. You might say that this is unnecessary but I also put my bible on the seat- darling I know you'll be travelling constantly but don't forget to pray at night, you still need to make sure to keep up with that…"

"Mom!" I cut her off, smiling at her fondly.

She smiled the same identical smile back at me; "I'm rambling again, aren't I?" she sighed gently.

"Yes…" everyone replied at the same time.

I laughed at them all, as I wiped away my tears- I hoped once I had left that all these tears would stop, it seemed like all I did throughout my life was cry.

It was time to become stronger, to no longer be the old Bella.

Before leaving, I looked around one final time- taking in the scenery of the skyline, and the familiar neighbourhood I had spent my whole life until now in.

I found myself hoping against hope that Jacob would appear, just to say goodbye. It was obvious he wouldn't though, and as the seconds by passed the reality of that sunk in.

…I knew that I had hurt him too much. I didn't blame him for his decision at all.

I continued to stand waiting though, and it was only as minutes passed that I realised what I was doing- I was stalling for more time with everyone, trying to savour as much time with them as I could.

I knew then that I had to stop this… if not I would end up not going.

But as I turned and faced everyone again another round of tears rolled down my face and this time I didn't even attempt to wipe them away.

I hugged everyone again one more time, though it was this time that I hugged Charlie the longest- I knew that he wasn't an overly emotional person, and that we had never been that close, but I would still miss him so much.

… Just like everyone else.

They all whispered goodbye sadly, seeming at a loss for words- I could only manage the same in response.

"I'll miss you all so much," I told them all quietly.

…But I'll come and see you again.

And with that, I climbed into my car – which was a Hudson continental that I had got in exchange for all my furniture – then I turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from them all.

I continued to look at them through the mirrors, but I could barely see them through my clouded, tear-filled vision. I knew that they were all still there though and that was comforting… I continued to watch until I could no longer see them.

And then I continued driving, determined not to regret this decision.

For several moments I allowed myself to wish that I hadn't of given Edward that ultimatum a week ago… that way it wouldn't have lead to this.

Because the truth… I am so afraid of what's going to happen, although I am also excited at the same time, in a strange way that didn't feel completely right.

I just wish that I didn't have to make that decision to leave my friends and family behind…

I pulled the car over to the side of the road, waiting silently in my seat as I cried into my hands, letting the last of my tears out.

Everything around me was silent and still, I suddenly felt fearful that I was alone…

And then as much as I didn't want to, I wondered if I had made the right decision for the first time. This new, sudden feeling bought on a wave of nausea, as I knew I couldn't back out now.

Where is he, where are you Edward…? "Bella…?"

I jumped at the sound of the soft voice, and began wiping at my eyes furiously so I could see if it really was him.

The bluriness eventually went away and slowly Edward came into focus, he was standing by the side of the car, but leaning towards me, a loving expression on his face.

"Edward…" I breathed in pure and utter relief.

Without further thought I climbed out of the car and jumped into his waiting arms, noticing that the horrible nervous feeling had gone and that it had been replaced with a warm one.

"Sorry I'm late, the goodbyes took longer then I thought" I apologised, placing my head in the crook of his neck.

"Don't apologise for that, sweetheart" he murmured, kissing my forehead gently.

It was silent for several moments; I just rested my head against his chest and breathed in his sweet scent as we stood together.

"Bella…" he eventually murmured, stroking my hair as he spoke, "…I just need to check one last time, but are you sure about this?" he asked quietly as he looked down at me.

I looked up at him knowing that all my tears were gone by now- instead of feeling sad and guilt I now felt happier then I've ever felt in my life. All my doubt had been completely replaced with a pure joy… and it was then that I realised that I had made the right decision.

Yes, I would miss my family and friends… but I couldn't live a proper life without Edward. He is my life, and the only one I will ever truly love. Our time apart taught me that… because all I did was spend all my time thinking about him, wishing for him to be with me again.

And now he was… and we could have our life together, starting from now.

I looked up at him, a wide smile stretching across my face, "Yes… I'm sure," I replied sincerely.

At my honest words his smile stretched so it matched my own, and without saying anything he suddenly lifted me up and spun us around several times, our joyous laughs echoing down the empty forest lined street.

When he stopped spinning us, I finally found my voice- "I love you" I told him softly, pulling him down for a soft kiss.

"And I love you too, with everything in me" he whispered against my lips as he kissed me back just as softly.

After a couple of moments he pulled away and looked me in the eye, his golden eyes shining as he spoke to me.

"Bella, I know that we have spent so long apart… and that it was my fault. But I promise that I will spend every single day until the end of time making it up to you" he told me sweetly, his eyes never leaving my own.

I smiled at his words and leant even closer to him, "does that mean that you promise you will change me?" I whispered softly, still smiling at him.

"I already made that promise didn't I?" he murmured, referring back to the other night when he had agreed after my ultimatum. "And it's one I intend to keep" he told me quietly, kissing me again.

We stayed in eachother's arms for several more moments, before I looked back at the car.

"We'd better get going" I told him excitedly, "we have a long journey ahead of us"

"That we do," he murmured, as he took hold of my hand and lead me around to the passenger side of the blue car.

He helped me into my seat and then ran around to the driver's side, smoothly sliding in to his seat.

He turned to face me and took my left hand in his; kissing my engagement ring, which had never left my hand, not even in the past few years.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly, smiling at me.

I smiled back in response, finding myself want to yell the next two words out to the world- "I'm ready," I breathed, my voice shaking with anticipation.

With one last smile directed only at me he started up the car and pulled away- within no time we were going at a fast, steady speed, and the scenery was passing us in a blur, the miles just breezing by.

It was as we left the Chicago City limits and went out onto the open road to our next destination that I finally allowed myself to laugh with happiness though.

Edward didn't hesitate and just laughed with me, his glorious smile leaving me breathless.

We drove until it was the night and then still continued, never looking back as we travelled further and further away.

We didn't need to say much, but I couldn't help but notice that his hand never left my own.

With the wind blowing through my hair and Edward's hand never letting go of mine, I rested my head back against the seat with only one thought going through my mind as we continued to drive.

I've definitely made the right decision.

Theres no chapter preview, as theres only the epilogue to go.. I'm not completely sure about where I'm going with it, besides.. I dont want to give anything away :)

But yeah, I really hope people liked this. I thought it was sweet in a way, I swear I had tears in my eyes writing it because I'm really sad this story is coming to an end.. I've really loved writing it.

By the way I've put a picture of Bellas car, and ExB's house in Chicago on my profile if you want to have a look :)

Please, please review! Can we reach 190 (we're just so close to 200 now after all!)

Thanks for reading, Emma . x