Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter Three: Siren's Song

Chapter Summary: Star gains a new name, the original takes on jobs and the Doctor is at last happy.

I looked again, it wasn't a mirror, she blinked at a different time to myself and her hair wasn't nearly as long as my own. It was Star, the original. I thought she was dead, not alive and kicking.

"So he completed his little project after I left home." I frowned at her, she wasn't like me, and suddenly my body didn't feel so tense. I wasn't a copy in thoughts, they were my own, and I was different to Star, the original star. "Hmm, he didn't tell you I was still alive did he?"

It was strange looking at her; I never guess that I had been cloned, or at least something similar to that of her. I shook my head in answer to her question and she herself frowned, it was different to how I frowned, her chin dimpled when she frowned, mine remained smooth.

"Alright then, can you take me to him?" I nodded, I didn't want to speak to her, I couldn't speak to her, and this was all very strange. Was this what shock felt like? Shock and something else, I suppose it was anger at not been told of Star. That she was still living. So I walked her down to the office, the lab, and my birthplace. She smiled in memory, out the corner of my eye I saw Sonja look at us curiously, not shocked though she rarely ever acted shocked, maybe she was just good at hiding it.

"Doctor, someone is here to see you, it's urgent." I finally said as I knocked on the door. I left straight after that, I didn't want to be there when it happened I think I may cry for the first time if I did stay.

"Hey, do you have a twin?" Sonja asked when I returned the kitchen, I shook my head no and I could feel the understanding wash over her. "Do you want to tell me?" I didn't know, I was so lost, and I think she noticed that, because she stood up and walked in front of me, lifting my chin to meet her eye to eye. "He won't kick you out." She said strongly and I felt the doubt creep up inside of me.

Oh god, I was turning more and more human, doubting the words of someone who would know more then me.

"You have a right to live here, so don't worry." She reassured me but I didn't really hear it. I mean, the words were there, I knew what she was saying and at the same time I understood, but…

"I've never felt pain before." I said looking down below the ground, just below everything. "Not like this, I felt raged when I first woke up, I have felt sadness when he never ate what I cooked and I have felt happiness listening to songs in the garden." I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, my hands clenched, "but I've never felt this." I didn't want anyone to hear necessarily what I was saying; I just needed to process my thoughts aloud. Sonja knew that, she understood.

Distantly, far away from where her thoughts and set of mind were, she heard the Doctor talking, begging Star to stay. The first Star, the original one. I could hold nothing against Star, the girl had done nothing wrong but at the same time I wanted to hate the girl. Her coming here only weeks after my own birth was breaking me.

"Come on, let's go outside." There was no question in the sentence and maybe that was why I, though shakily, walked with Sonja outside.

Thoughts confused me, this wasn't Star's fault, this wasn't about myself and I shouldn't make it seem so. Star had returned this was everything the Doctor had ever wanted. And yet… I didn't care, I just wanted him to realise who I was. I wasn't real to him and maybe that was what was upsetting me, because I never saw him as my father, not like a real one. Not like Star did.

Even out here, I could feel their happiness at returning to each other. Though I knew Star wasn't showing that to her father. "Star?"

"Her name is Star, not mine, I'm just a fake." I felt it, the flinch, as if I had slapped Sonja across the face. Had I offended her some way? Was it my tone in speech, humans could be so sensitive. Wait. Was that why I was hurting, because I was turning more and more human? Should I rejoice or cry over this fact?

"The end of the world is coming soon." She whispered and I believed her.

~X~

The house was silent except for the soft slumbers of the guest and the Doctor. Star slept in her room and the Doctor his; I lay awake in my own, wanting Star to have never come here. I knew that by morning she would be making breakfast, breakfast the Doctor would eat, and once I saw this I knew my heart would break. I was different to how I was when I first awoke, but now I was… I was scared.

Sonja had left for her own home only two hours ago, one hour ago I left for bed. I wished to have followed Sonja, taken her up on the offer to sleepover at hers while my thoughts settled, but I had to be here, I had to know, even if it hurt.

I was beginning to understand these feelings, which was the scary thought. I felt jealousy but I pushed it down and accepted that the Doctor wanted Star here, I felt wrath, which I ignored, I was beginning to feel greed and as the books explained these feelings and sins I began to understand that I was turning more and more human, though I wasn't. And I was happy, proud that I wasn't.

I read a lot, the more I read, the more I understand. The fiction, the non-fiction, the pure facts and the biographies I read them all. I study and examine these books fast, greatly faster than humans, I was meant to take in information fast, whether it was an accident or by design I didn't know.

Someone was happy in the darkness. Their feelings washed over me like Sonja's song. Was it Star's? I believe it is. Her dreams are of happiness, she wanted to be home so much and now she was. I wish she had been dead; she was going to be the cause of Sonja or I being kicked-out or even fired. Whether she did one job or the other. It was theoretically impossible for her to do both; she didn't have enough energy or time. Both were fulltime jobs, if she included the garden.

I fell asleep, into a darkness trance. Only woken up by the sounds of banging in the kitchen once morning had risen.

I came downstairs to see her and the Doctor eating at the table together, it seemed, Sonja would be here soon. I lightly stepped behind them without either of them really noticing myself, lost within their own stories. My name- with the word, clone attached to it- was spoken of twice.

Once outside in the garden I looked up at the sunlit flowers, damp with the morning dew and I felt peace overcome me. All the sins pushed into a little box to be forgotten of for a small quantity of time. "Good morning Star." I turned my head only a few degrees to see Sonja wearing a lovely black dress with a simple gold chain.

"That's her name now." I replied, strangely enough I didn't care for her to hear my voice to how it felt inside of me. Broken.

"Would you rather change it?"

"To what name shall I change it too?"

"Morning Star?" I smiled, a simple change, I did like mornings, but I'm not sure I still do. Sonja looked at me strangely before she smiled. "Morning Star's are the most beautiful." A compliment she spoke, one that caused me to relax a little for a reason or another.

"Morning Star's are only as beautiful as the person perceives them to be." I believed, before I imparted so to her.

She did not oppose to what I said, though I could near smell the scent of full belief, in a sense I guess she knew that some beauties everyone could tell was there by one of the fifth senses that humans carry. I seem to notice that they have dulled senses compared to my own.

I didn't go inside that day and neither did Sonja, she was not called and I was not asked for. But we spoke to each other and I remained within the garden, not wishing to leave its serenity. Every few moments in time, while I worked and Sonja watched, we would sing, beginning in the same instances as if knowing the other was about to resonate music from their lips as well. It had a calming affect on myself, though it seems that Sonja was constantly calm.

~X~

I was in the garden again, my garden, the next morning. I had decided that the Garden belonged to me, and that I could do whatever I wanted with it. Part of me wanted to burn it, the rest of me wanted to grow something so beautiful that Star would be enraged with blind hatred and jealously.

I had yet to rename myself.

When Sonja sat down by me on the blanket I had laid out for us, she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, and pulled me in tightly. I relaxed into her, and just listened to what the birds said. They were still singing, but not of joy.

"I want to grow something." I whispered as the silence became unbearable to me, I needed an opinion, to see if my thoughts weren't just muddled with fear-filled jealously of losing an almost father. "Something that Star never could."

"You have a beautiful garden that she doesn't own, it florists with such specimens of beauty that she couldn't even try to reach, why not think about changing your name first." Her words soothed my mind. She was right; the first thing to do is to change my name to something else, something… perfect.

"I want my name to be natural, something uncommon but natural, I like being part of the earth."

"Earth then, or Earth-Star."

"Earth-Star." I echoed, the corner of my lips rising up. "How-"

"Perfect." She finished for me, and I turned my head to face her, by her body language, she looked calm, elegant, secure and at-ease. But in her eyes, she was both happy for me and sad for someone, or something. We didn't speak after that. I went back to weeding, watering, harvesting and fertilizing the plants, my plants. And Sonja watched.

Part of me wondered if she was actually interested or if it was all just an act. But why would she need to act around me? I asked, and then some part of me spoke, because she's not human, the way she walks, talks, acts, thinks, is, is not human, it's above human, she's like you. Though I doubted that this was true, I did not push it out of my brain.

Nothing was impossible. I thought it was impossible that I actually looked like Star, but we were identical at first glance, but she had grown up in a different environment, a loving one, I grew up without knowing that I was. It was loveless.

"Tomorrow the war begins." My lips said without my permission. I hadn't meant to think aloud, I hadn't meant for the thought to pass, but it did, and it had. Why?

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to live in the house anymore, but I want the garden, I refuse to eat her food, but I need to eat, I want to win, but it is not possible, the doctor should have his daughter, but I should be equally treated." A sharp pain hit behind my eyes, and I crouched, clutching my head.

"Star?" She asked without a question spoken. I wanted to say it wasn't my name, but from her lips it was, she was calling me, and it was my name. Not Star's, mine. The pain in my head grew intense and I started to cry. Pain, real pain, now I know what it feels like. I should be happy, but all I feel in pain and fear. Another emotion I wanted to feel, I regret wishing for it.

"Shh." Sonja whispered, "It's ok." The pain dulled slightly and I started to cry. Arms were wrapped around me protectively, lovingly. Hope. That's what I felt now; hope that everything would be ok.

"I don't want to be here." My voice was muffled in her shirt, and I felt disgusted at how I was acting, but relieved, I hadn't realised what I was keeping bottled, it had been inside of me, a secret from even myself. Closet emotion, how I detest thee.

"I'll take you home." She whispered as she picked me up, carrying me like a child as I wrapped my arms around her neck. Comfort. I thought as my mind began to drift away, this is what I need. And then I fell asleep.

~X~

I did not awake in my bed, but in a large bed. I knew I wasn't at the Doctor's house because when I opened my eyes, I saw warm colours, they were probably the same as the Doctor's house, but here it was warm, it felt like how a home was suppose to feel. Loved. Cared for. Happy.

I sat up, and saw a tray with pancakes, laid out with cream and fresh berries a top of it. There was a glass of fresh juice, that I could smell, and a small bowl of yoghurt. My stomach rumbled, and I sat up and lifted the tray to me. It was set out with such delicacy and flawlessness that I felt, once again, the sensation of a "full heart".

I ate slowly, tasting everything, and enjoying it, and when I had finished, I picked it up and went to walk around the house. But the moment I touched the door handle, it swung open and Sonja stood in a white dress with a tanned coat. She was not wearing her usual accessory of glasses, nor did she look like she was going to see the Doctor.

"I'll put this in your kitchen then I'll make the bed-" Sonja stopped me by just a look. A single, stare that saw deep inside of me before pulling out everything and leaving me bare of my walls that I had built.

"You need to stop and relax." She took the tray from my grasp. The moment the wood left my finger tips, the feeling of being treated like a child passed over and I looked up at Sonja with sad eyes, "You need some time away from the Doctor, he knows where you are, he was worried you know." She was lying, "And when your feeling better you can go back, until then you can either go back to sleep, read a book, or watch something on the television."

After telling her what I wanted to do, Sonja took me to her books, she didn't have a large amount, but she did own interesting books. I picked one up at random and began reading it as I listened to Sonja singing as she cleaned up around the house. Clanking of plates been put in the dishwasher, vacuuming, and the shuffling of footsteps were just background noise to her singing.

Eventually she sat down on the armchair beside me and curled up with a book of her own. A Romance novel, something I hadn't read. Romance novels were trashy novels, they were meant to make people swoon here and had impossible ideas of love. But who am I to judge if that's true? I've never experience love, I'm scared to, I know about kissing, romancing, wooing, serenading and all things romantic and passionate. But I've never seen them happen in reality.

"Sonja?"

"Yes?" She looked up, and I saw she was wearing her glasses again, they suited her personality.

"Have you ever experienced love?" She paused for a moment, though not in surprise, Sonja paused for thought, as if deciphering what I said. I was strangely curious as to why she wasn't surprised at my question, a normal human would have been, why not her?

"I know what it is to share a bond with someone, I know what it is to have a family, and I know what it is to please someone to such an extent it is dangerous, but no, I don't know love."

"What of sex?" A lot of human's would be shy, or bashful in a situation like this, but why should I be embarrassed? What is embarrassing about such a simple question? Nothing.

"Yes."

"What's it like?"

"With the right person, it can be a beautiful thing, it can be pleasurable or the best thing you'll ever know, but with the wrong person it can be the opposite, or something that will tear your soul apart." Her glasses slipped down slightly as she looked at me, "Have you ever liked someone from a distant?"

Before I answered, I thought about the question, thought about what she meant, before I shook my head, "no, not that I know of." I said, but it didn't feel right saying it. "At least… I don't think." I whispered at the end, suddenly confused.

"Love is when sacrificing yourself is easy." She said, "And saving them is always first priority." She smiled at me before glancing down at her book.

"Thank you." I whispered as more questions divided and expanded in my head, wanting to be answered. But I had asked enough for now.