Title: Eloquent Elysian Silhouettes

Chapter Four: Sweetly Bad

Chapter Summary: Earth Star is away from home when Sonja suggests driving Star mad by looking better then her.

"I've never gone clothes shopping, only shopping for groceries and garden utensils, that's all I spent my money on." Sonja shook her head, and with a hand in the mid of my back, she led me through the shops and straight to the section of dresses. I spun around, my eyes staring over everything in their colours, sizes, materials, length and styles. They were all so different but similar enough to go under the single category of "dress".

"It's-"

"Large is it not? Come on, you need a dress and some clothes that suit your needs and make you look good." She took a glance at me, "That way you'll look better then Star." Her hand slid in mine for comfort and as she did, a wave of relief passed over me. Everything was going to be ok, better then ok even.

Sonja led me to racks and isles of feminie clothing as she looked around, her eyes glancing over everything before a smile lifted her lips. "What?" I asked. Though I didn't know what I was asking.

"We'll start with lingerie, then sleepwear, before moving onto to everything else and ending with formal wear." So many clothes for so many different occasions. I was pulled into racks of clothes as Sonja called over a woman, whom then measured me before finding many bras, underwear and even strange items I wasn't sure what were for.

Maybe I should read more romance novels.

I walked into the change rooms, not understanding how it all worked, I wore bras, but only sports, the one that was to clip on, I wasn't sure how to do one up, I wasn't even sure how to fit in properly. I stood in the change rooms, with my shirt off, starring at the bra confused for about two minutes before I heard a knock on the side of the curtain door.

"Something wrong?"

"I don't know how to use one, I never was taught, I never owned…" I trailed off, not knowing how to answer correctly. Sonja slid in, and took a look at how helpless I looked before she softly turned me around to face the mirror and clasped up by bra.

"Your breasts should sit correctly on the wire." She whispered and I frowned confused. I had my hands clasped in front of me, and a few strands of hair had fallen into my face. I was disappointed with myself. "Hush, don't worry, you didn't have a mother did you?"

I shook my head and she smiled softly, in comfort.

"Here." She slid a hand into my bra, and I gasp as her warm hand cupped my breast and sat in upon the wire correctly, instantly I felt the difference between the two breasts until she slid the other hand through the black lace and placed that breast correctly. Looking into the mirror, I saw how the breast curved correctly, alike but different, to how Sonja's looked through the dress.

My eyes glanced to my face, and as they did, my eyebrows pressed closer together in confusion. My cheeks looked like they had been pinched to red, or from biting cold or even from heat. I wasn't embarrassed, at least I don't think that I am, but I could feel the pounding blood in my face that bit like the spits of a dancing ember.

"Do you need help trying on others?" I nodded. I was still unsure how the bra worked, still confused.

Her fingers were smooth against my skin as they grazed against it to undo the clasp. "Sonja?" A new question emerged into my thoughts.

"Yes?" She looked distracted, but she sounded like she had always been listening for my voice.

"Does kissing hurt with the wrong person?"

"No, not physically, emotionally it can." She slid the bra off my shoulders before picking up a red one, "Have you ever kissed someone?" She asked as her hands brushed my hair from my back to over a shoulder of mine.

"No." I responded, "Is that bad?"

"No." I could hear her smiling.

"It involves practice doesn't? To become a good kisser, to know how it works?" Sonja looked at me in the mirror, meeting my reflection's eyes. Before smiling deviously. I twisted around to face her, the red bra done up but sitting wrongly on me. Distracted, I went to fix it, trying to remember how Sonja did it.

"Here," She said, spinning me around halfway to the side, and pulling me close to her, I could feel the warmth of her body as she reached around me and showed me. "Like this, it's your body, you should be caring of it." As her finger brushed over a sensitive part of breast, a rugged breath escaped my lips as a chill fell down my spine, cooling my warm body for a fraction of time.

I felt her lips curl upwards, next to my ear, in a large smirk.

When she went to pull her hand away, mine snatched her wrist, "What…why…how…?" Her thumb curved in the red material and another quiet shudder fell down my spine as my eyes closed. Pleasure. That was what it was.

"No." She said, her beautiful face in my hair, as her lips dragged down my neck. She weakly tried to pull her hands out of my grasp. I knew she didn't want to stop, I could feel my body wanting more, like a drug addiction, just one hit drove me into insanity. No. Like Sonja had whispered, I repeated in my head. Before I let go of the grip on her hand I had, and felt her slowly pull out.

"We should move on to sleepwear." I told Sonja. But my eyes were on the mirror, and our faces. No. How could such a determined word have the opposite meaning when whispered?

-

Bags and bags on clothes were in our hands. And when we finally arrived back at Sonja's house, we placed them neatly on the entrance floor.

"You know, I've only seen you wear three different dresses."

"Yes." She had been telling me, and I had been agreeing with her, how strange. "But now I have so many to choose from each day." I looked at the piles of bags, of different assortments, colours and materials, each with something different in it. "Maybe I should go home today." My eyes never left the bags on the floor, "I think staying the night was enough-"

"You're staying the weekend." She told me. "You need time apart, and another night won't kill you." I felt her eyes on me; "I have a spare room you can store the clothes in for the night." I heard her step closer to me; I could feel her presence lingering just behind my body.

"Thank you." The word rolled of my tongue, feeling like something forgotten. I picked as many bags as I could get off the ground before following Sonja, who had somehow grabbed more bags, then me. How does a woman like her pull of carrying luggage and still looking graceful? She walked like a cat, carefully placed movements that had no real meaning behind them. They were there, they were perfect, but there was no real reason behind them.

The room she led me to, was across from her room. It was empty of all belongings; I assumed it once had been auxiliary bedroom or a small study, regardless; it was now bare of everything except my bags. Mine. Not Stars, but mine.

The room had a warm yellow wall, and smooth, wooden panelling on the floor, I could feel that it was real, I can't explain it any other way then the fact that the wood sung to me through my feet, a soft humming of post-death nature. But it was nature all the same. One, wide window lit the room, bringing the soft light of a near sunset that was only a few hours away. The birds were still singing.

She exited the room and when she did, I closed the door behind her, the wooden, oval handle smooth in my grasp as the door clicked shut.

"Do you have a spare bedroom?" I asked. Curiosity getting the better of me once more caused me to ask, but basic, instinctive etiquette made my voice come out neutral.

"No, I only moved in here this year, I haven't had the time to fully furnish the house." I nodded. Unsure of how to reply to her, but knowing that nothing was needed. Though, strangely, a part of me seemed to want to say something. Silence was not my friend anymore. Why? "Would you like a coffee?" I frowned; the Doctor never had coffee in his house, only herbal teas. She read my expression like a hard-to-miss sign, before leading me to the kitchen.

I watched her as she turned the kettle on and began pulling out equipment and a bitter smelling substance.

"One for the pot," she showed me, "And one for each person who wants a coffee." She placed three spoonfuls of coffee into what I assumed was a plunger. Something I had read about. Two mugs were pulled out of a higher cabinet, and a bowl of sugar with a tasteful spoon was placed in front of the mugs.

"Coffee is a drug."

"Yes." She said smiling, "I hope you don't have a bad chemical reaction to it, some people can't have coffee." She poured boiled water into the plunger before pushing the "plunger" its self, down slightly and pouring the coffee into two mugs. Placing a small amount of cream and two sugars in each.

"Sonja, would I be able to borrow a book from you?"

"The romance novels are on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in the lounge room," she told me, her eyes flickering up as she finished her sentence. As her fingers stirred the tasteful spoon, the aroma of sweet, bitter coffee filled the room and my eyes seem to dilate for an instant as it hit my nostrils.

"Smells good." I murmured as she handed me the mug. The second my tongue taste the hot liquid, it rolled, and I swallowed. I waited as my brain processed the flavour before I smiled. It was good, very good.

We talked, not about coffee, or books, but about home. My home. Was it really my home though? She told me that I could leave, but I wouldn't. I wanted to, but something inside of me, deep beneath the surface, said that staying there was the best thing. I didn't tell her about that last part, just that I needed to be there.

Later she went out for groceries, and she told me to stay here, at her house, so she knew where I was. While she was gone, I read through her romance collection. Every word, every page, every sentence had me captivated. Women were falling for men, who had hurt them, strong women falling under weak men's spells, Men falling for their captive. Women falling for their tortures, people who had raped them.

It was all so confusing, and a lot of the plot lines were so very wrong. But some of the writing styles, the ones that flew together, and you could see it happening in your mind, as clear as if you were standing there, they were beautiful.

It wasn't just reproduction most of the time, and even more of the time, it wasn't even love, but reading it, though it confused me, was exciting in its self. Never before have I touched such a deadly sin so. How could such a sin feel so good, deep down into the core of your being?

Lust. The only word that was in my head, repeating over and over once more. Why? Because I want it more then I want to breath, I want what other women, men and even adolesce have felt. I want to feel the rush.

But I do not want such a human feel to be seen. So I lock it up, next to the wrath and jealously I have for Star. Only three sins I know. Only one I enjoyed having.

-

I served dinner, to say thank you, though Sonja tried to protest until she turned away and whispered, "you look happiest in the garden, but the serenity of cooking seems to bring out your soul." I don't know what that is supposed to mean, and instead of asking what she meant, I pretended I didn't hear her.

I didn't cook anything exotic, just steaks and a nice salad. Sonja had bought a small double chocolate cheesecake she wanted me to try, and a few bottles of a tasteful wine that she told me was her favourite. It was supposed to be me saying 'thank you for helping me' but with the cake and wine, it looked more like a dinner between two friends, or something. I'm not sure. I hope the thanks is still there.

We sat at the small dining table that seated, comfortably, four people. The wine bottle sat in the middle of the table with the set out food.

"Lovely food." Sonja complimented before lifting the glass of red to her lips and taking a single sip before setting the glass near exactly where it had been before.

"I really like the wine," I said in return, "it compliments the steak well." Sonja smiled at me before eating the last piece of her steak. Neither of us went for seconds on the food, but together, we polished off the first bottle of red. We moved onto the cake after putting the leftovers into the fridge, after wrapping them. Conversation remained light before we took our glasses, and the second bottle of red, out onto the balcony that sat a foot higher off of the no-to distant beach.

"It's beautiful out here." I murmured, afraid that speaking too loudly would ruin the peace and tranquillity that could be seen.

"I love the peace of water, it always becomes settled and calm if you leave it alone, but the ocean its self, as peaceful as it is, forever is alive, living forever." I looked at Sonja, she wasn't wearing her glasses, and the dress she wore seemed to curl around her in the light, warm night's wind. The way her voice spoke had been distant, as if she was talking about something else, someone. Herself.

I watched Sonja's body lean against the railing of the balcony, her arms on the railing its self, with a single hand clutching the glass of a half full red wine. Her lips were parted, tasting the air, and her eyes closed so that her body could feel everything without a distraction. I looked at her heel-clad shoes, and wondered. Not about her feet, but about her, everything about her.

It was all so strange to me, so distant. The surrounding world was here, but not.

And then, the little box of thoughts in my mind opened, and I remembered the books I had read, where bare moments like this had happened, only to have the man kiss the damsel. There was neither a male nor a damsel here. So what was to happen? Was this like a romance novel?

No.

I was incapable of love. I wasn't human, only human's felt the infatuation of chemicals settling correctly in the brain that was to-be, "true love". Love doesn't exist. It was and is only a reaction to chemicals that are set off in the brain telling people to mate, telling them they will have the perfect child.

I don't know if I can reproduce, but I'm sure that I can't love, I don't have the right body chemistry to do so.

And yet, yet I feel lust.

Twisting my head side ways, I leaned in front of the banister and in front of Sonja before grazing my lips on hers. My eyes were closed, but I felt the rush of air of a gasp, though one longing so. Then I felt the hand, a single one slip around my body, twisting it so we were at a more comfortable angle.

I wasn't human, but tasting her, feeling her, I felt something in human about her, something… off.

I didn't care. I don't care.

"What is no?" I asked, the question, I knew, only she would understand.

"Not this." She replied.

-

I woke up from the couch, I had expected, what call, a hang over. But nothing abnormal happened.

I sat up properly and looked at the time, it was still morning. As I was packing up the blankets that had been laid across me, I remembered the kiss that I had given Sonja, and the one she had returned to me. There was nothing more neither nothing less, just that, a kiss separated in two.

I went into the spare room, my thoughts still on the kiss, as I placed as many things into as little bags as possible without ruining anything. After a length of time, I heard the footsteps of Sonja before the door opened.

"You've cut down on half the bags." She told me, I hadn't actually noticed, but I did realise that I was now able to carry everything without relying on her help. "I'll give you breakfast before I take you home, at least let me give you a coffee." She wasn't asking, she was telling me what she was planning on doing. And I liked that confidence.

So I nodded at her, before I placed the bags neatly against the wall, and placed the empty ones into each other. I would leave the empty ones here, I'm sure Sonja would find some use for them.

When I reached the kitchen, Sonja passed me a mug of coffee, exactly the same as it had been made before. Before she guided me into a seat and told me she was making me breakfast whether I liked it or not. I was hungry, so I didn't protest loudly.

I saw the bottle of red sitting out on the balcony, through the window, two glasses sitting next to, all three empty. Had the wine influenced my actions?

I didn't care. I just knew that was as far as I had planned to get with her. A kiss was all I wanted to experience. At least, in that moment in time.