So, I've been struggling a lot with this chapter. Something just didn't seem right in the last one and I felt like I got off topic in the last one, so I've worked this chapter to death and I want to know honestly what you guys think.
I own nothing at all, and if you couldn't tell, I love The Beatles and so does Kayla!
Chapter 6: The Recovery
"There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy…"~ Beatles "All you need is love"
"I haven't seen Logan in the past few days," Dee announced one Saturday morning in November as we were addressing wedding invitations. I was finally given the okay to go to Dee's house (living alone with a still plastered broken arm and leg was not really possible) and so I was Dee's right hand when it came to wedding plans. I memorized every single florist's number from here to Calgary, and had addressed nearly half of the invitations. Dee and I were almost finished with those when she brought it up.
I shrugged and kept on addressing. "He has his own life. I've got mine."
"But he brought you food behind my back practically the whole time you were in the hospital. To me, that seems kind of like he liked you… And now it's like he's vanished into thin air."
Again, I shrugged. "I don't have any claim on him, Dee. He can do what he wants." What else did she want? I had nothing else to give to her.
"You liked him. I could see it. And now you're just going to let him go?" Dee was incredulous.
"I have other things I have to worry about. I don't have time to deal with this too," I placed the last of the envelopes on the finished pile.
Dee threw down her pen in annoyance. "Well, it's not right! I thought he was different, and you deserve the best after all the shit you've had to deal with! And-!"
"Delia, please. Don't okay?" I grabbed her hand, almost pleading. "Just don't."
"Kayla-"
"Come on let's talk about something fun, like the dresses." I cut her off. "You said you got mine and Emma's in and I want to see them… Please?"
Dee sighed. "You're playing the-I-have-a-broken-leg-and-broken-arm-and-I-get-anything-I-want-card aren't you?"
"Maybe," I replied tapping my fingers together in thought. "Is it working?"
She rolled her eyes and got up. She gathered up the envelopes in her arms as she stood. "Yes, unfortunately." Delia shook her head in disgust, leaving me alone in the guest room.
Outside, the snow was falling softly and piling up on our cars. Normally, I would have been overjoyed to simply sit and read and watch the snow fall. But today, especially after everything Dee had said, I missed him.
It was nice to know he was there, to know nothing that bad could have happened. It was why the hospital was tolerable, because he never let me think about how much I hated it or remember the memories that made my skin crawl.
The office was too cool; it made my skin bubble with goosebumps. Mom's hand was warm in mine as the minutes ticked by and I anchored myself to it. I closed my eyes and tried to memorize the soft lines of her hands, the cool rings and the knowledge that she loved me no matter what.
Mom leaned over and kissed my temple and then smiled against my hair. I looked up at her, her eyes tired but there the same sweet smile on her lips. "It'll be okay honey. No matter what the doctor says."
"Mom," I sighed and leaned my chin on her frail shoulder. "What…what if-"
Mom squeezed my hand. "Kayla, whatever will be, will be. We can't change it."
"But-" She was already giving up. She was already to leave us, when we needed her. Emma was twelve, I was twenty and I wasn't able to let her go just yet, especially if she was just going to give up. "Mom!"
She cupped my face between her hands. "Do me a favor, love?"
I swallowed hard, keeping the tears back. Even though she was giving up, I still couldn't help myself. "Anything." I promised. "Anything you want."
"Take care of Emma. Keep her safe. She's so impetuous and she's going to need you." Mom smoothed a few loose hairs away from my face, like she always did. "Please?"
"Of course, Mom." I buried my face into her shoulder, breathing in her smell. From before I could remember my mother had always smelled like laundry just out of the dryer and a fresh cut bouquet of irises.
I nodded as the door opened and Dr. Burns walked in. "Hello ladies," he greeted us as he fished out the x-ray and hung it up. "How are you today?"
"It's been a good day," Mom smiled clearly.
Dr. Burns took it off his glasses and set them on the table. "Good…good. That's very good to hear Mrs. Frost."
"But?" I ventured as I could hear it coming.
"But I'm afraid this has advanced much faster than we could have imagined," He sighed. "That there isn't anything we can do but make you comfortable."
I gripped Mom's hand and tried not to cry. Mom looked over at me, all of her serenity, her love and her peace washed over me.
"What do you think?" Dee held up a dark lavender umpire waist gown.
"I like it." I nodded, wiping away a few dewing tears. "It's pretty."
"Honey, what's wrong?" Delia sat next to me.
I shook my head and kept wiping at my face. "I was just thinking about my Mom and how much she would love to be here right now. That's all."
Dee grinned. "I miss her too, you know?"
"Yeah, I know." I waved my hand. "Enough about me, I'm done wallowing. Tell me about your plans."
"I was thinking that maybe you could wear white lilies in your hair. Maybe Morning Glories or some white flower?"
"Could you go bluebells maybe?" I suggested. "Or would the color clash too much?"
"Yeah, I think I want to stick with white."
I nodded again. "It's pretty. Emma will love it."
Two weeks later, I was back driving my beast of a car around in leg and arm brace. The doctor was amazed at how quickly the bone was healing and how little of a scar I was going to have on my forehead.
But today was one of the first days I was allowed to go out by myself and I loved every minute of it. As a celebration for moving back into my house, I decided to pick up some take at the only Chinese place in town. The Wong's had lived in Canmore longer than almost anyone else; they left Vancouver during the forties and settled here because they liked the view.
"Okay," Mrs. Wong set the take out bag on the counter. "I have order of beef and broccoli, one of chicken dumplings, four egg roll, and order of fried rice."
I handed over money to cover it and a tip. "Thanks. Mrs. Wong."
"This all for you?" She wondered in her broken English. Actually, Mrs. Wong's English was much more understandable than Mr. Wong's.
"Well, yes, but Emma will be home tomorrow and she'll help me finish off the leftovers." I explained.
"You tell her to call when she home. Okay?"
"I will. Tell Mr. Wong 'Merry Christmas' for me!" I called as I left. However the words were barely out of my mouth I ran smack dab into who else but Logan.
I was so surprised; I took a step back with my bad leg and onto a sheet of ice. He grabbed me around the waist and steadied me from falling backward.
"Thanks," I murmured as I pushed myself away from him. "So…I haven't seen you in a while…how are you?"
He nodded. "You look better," he observed as he looked me up and down, noting my walking cast and brace.
"I am. I'm a fast healer," I retorted as the dusk was beginning to set in. Around us, the mountains grew purple and dark blue with shadows and were covered with newly fallen snow. With the sun quickly vanishing from the sky, the temperature was dropping too.
"Look, I know that you're mad," Logan started, hands up in surrender.
I shrugged, looking down at my feet. "You made no promises to me."
"But you have to understand," he kept talking as if he hadn't heard me. "That the people I get close to end up getting hurt-."
"Wait." I held up a hand. "Wait, we are going to do this in front of a Chinese restaurant?" I pointed up at the Wong's sign.
"I suppose since you attacked me," he retorted. "Yeah, I suppose so."
"Fine…so let me get this straight: you feel guilty for what happened to me?" I grabbed his arm and pulled him around so he had to look at me. "Logan, listen to me." This time I infused the order with a little something extra. "It was a car accident-accident! If it was anyone's fault it was mine. I was tired and shouldn't have been driving."
He shook his head. "You said there was something in the road."
"Well, yeah. If I had been more awake. I would have noticed it earlier." I insisted.
Annoyed, Logan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kayla-"
"You think someone's out to get me?" I laughed and then stopped when Logan fixed me with a glare. Honestly, it was funny; I had been thinking about the accident lately and it all had seemed a little strange. The weird black shape that simply stood there in the middle of the road even when my headlights were on top of it, it just seemed…wrong
"If you really knew who I was….what I was." Logan snarled at himself. "You'd run as fast as you could…Has anyone ever told you that you are impossibly stubborn by the way?"
I ignored him and kept on explaining. "That's why you were outside that night; you thought someone had come for you? That's why you stayed with me at the hospital? Because you felt guilty?"
"I told you: when I get close to people, they get hurt. And I won't let it happen anymore." He turned and started to walk away.
"So, that's what you're going to do?" I called after him. "Walk away when you get too close?!" He didn't stop. "Out of some whacked sense of honor?"
Still, he didn't stop.
"Coward!" I snarled. "Everyone else thinks you're a tough guy but I know what you really are!" That stopped him and he turned around finally. "You don't scare me." I told him as he came closer. "You can try all you want but you don't scare me." I stared him straight in the eye as he was six inches taller than me and less than a foot away. However, I had to ignore the square jaw and the narrowed eyes which weren't brown like I thought they were; a hazel greenish, sort of fluid, constantly changing and shifting.
"You don't know me," he whispered. "You don't know what I'm capable of."
"I would if you told me," I crossed my arms in front of my chest, swinging the Chinese against my stomach.
"It's not as simple as you think it is." He argued.
I shrugged. "Either way, I'm going to tell you something that not even Dee or Em knows: remember a few weeks ago when I gave you a ride and I predicted your future for you?
He nodded. "Yeah? What about it?"
"And you laughed for what looked like the first time in months?"
"Yeah?"
"That's the guy I miss." I poked him hard in the chest, trying to nail the point home. "Not the self-sacrificing hero or the guilt racked lackey, but the guy who laughed at my horrible joke, who smiled, who looked at my picture and saw something more." I shook my head at my own stupidity. "I don't even know why I'm saying this, I just had to."
"So what now?" Logan asked. He didn't seem as angry as he had been before.
"I'm go home, get out of the cold and eat this Chinese." I looked up at him and I couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of my stupid mouth. "Listen, I have a lot to eat and I probably won't be able to finish it all, so if you are feeling like you'd be willing to be that guy that I miss, then I have an extra set of chopsticks waiting for you."
At home, there was one message from Emma and one from Delia. Emma's just reiterated over and over that her flight was coming in at two tomorrow afternoon and Dee called to ask how I was doing by myself.
After I called Dee back, I pulled out my favorite Beatles album and put it on. I opened up the carton of beef and broccoli and unwrapped an egg roll as Paul McCartney's voice echoed in my empty house:
"I'm happy just to dance with you
Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me
I don't want or need to hold your hand
Well it's only try and understand
'Cause there's really nothing I would rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you…" I hummed along as I pulled myself up on the kitchen counter.
Just as I was about to take a big bite of the beef and broccoli, the door bell rang. Sighing, I jumped down and called out: "I'm totally fine, Dee! I am woman," I reached the door and pulled it open. "Hear me roar- You're not Dee…" I whispered as the light from the house reached outside and fell on Logan's face.
"No, I'm not. Sorry." he grinned a little.
"What are you doing here?" I stepped back and let him in.
"If I remember correctly, you said that you had Chinese food and chopsticks waiting, if I was interested." He stepped inside and looked around.
"Yeah, I did." I led him into the kitchen, feeling very strange that a man was in my house, a man had never been in our house. Meanwhile, Paul McCartney sang on:
"Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me
If somebody tries to take my place
Let's pretend we just can't see his face
In this world there's nothing I would rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you
Just to dance with you
It's everything I need…"
"What'd you get?" He leaned over the kitchen island counter.
"Beef and broccoli, fried rice, chicken dumplings and my favorite; egg rolls." I held one out to him. He reached out to take it. "Wait! Before you take this egg roll, you have to understand something."
"What is that?"
"By accepting this egg roll or any other food products tonight, you will agree to and keep this unwritten contract. The choice is yours."
Logan paused for a second and then took the egg roll. "Consider the choice made."
"Welcome to the club." I hopped up on the counter and opened up the fried rice carton and held out a pair of chopsticks.
He gestured at the dining room table that we never used as he took them.
"Um, no." I shook my head and scooted over to make room for him. "The rule in this house is that when we eat Chinese, we eat it sitting on the counter with the Beatles." I pointed over to the record player.
He smiled and sat next to me. "Listen. I'm-"
"Don't spoil it," I cut him off. "I know. You're here and accepted the egg roll. It's done."
"How do you know what I'm going to say?" He picked up the chicken dumplings carton.
"I told you, I'm psychic!" I stole a dumpling from him.
"I mean really? How do you know?"
I shrugged. "Your eyes always give you away."
Logan nodded solemnly as he ate another dumpling. "I see. And what else have you divined?"
"Listen," I sighed. "I understand that you have secrets. Things that you're ashamed of or don't think anyone will understand."
Logan stared at me, eyes tight and wary.
"And you don't have to tell me. I'm not prying or poking but if you want to you can tell me." I didn't touch him or try to.
He nodded silently.
"My mom once said that people don't come to live in Canmore because of the skiing or the mountains. She said that they come to Canmore because they're looking for something.
"What's that?" He spoke finally.
I shrugged. "Whatever it is they need to find."
so what do you guys think??