Not Without You
"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." That's what I told her. I told her if anything happened to her that I wouldn't go on, that I would go to the Volturi and beg for death.
And that exactly what I'm going to do.
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"Flinging herself off the cliff, she fell to her certain doom screaming, not a scream of fear, but a scream of excitement. The wind was resistant to her falling as if it didn't want her to fall anymore than I did, trying to stop the inevitable consequences of gravity, pulling her further into an everlasting nothingness. Then, the water took her, her body slicing through the water like a knife through butter. A beautiful disaster. She sank deeper and deeper into the icy cold abyss, pitch black, a deathly ink. The current took her then, the waves throwing her about like a rag doll in the rocks, I suppose that what she was to something as powerful as water, a rag doll, she was as delicate as one, as breakable as porcelain.
She fell further, struggling too keep afloat. She didn't even try, just letting the water take her to its icy prison. It wasn't long until she didn't resurface; no fight left, what was the point if her forever had left her, if I had left her. The current dragged her in every direction, further and further away from the surface, further away from the world. She didn't fight the waves anymore, I'll never know why, whether she was just giving up for she was too weak, or that she would just give on life like that, because I wasn't in her life. For seeing a rerun of Alice's vision, she almost like she was happy, that she was content with dying.
Her eyes eventually closed, never to delight the world with their deep chocolate colour, or the way one look would strike at the hearts of men. Her body limp, floated in the depths, it sounds so wrong but I have never seen a dead body look anymore beautiful than she did, even if it was a memory of a memory of vision. After only a moment of Death's beautiful peace, the terror started all over again as her now lifeless body was thrown violently against the rock; tearing her, breaking her, now she could no longer fight.
Then that idiot of a boy, Jacob Black tried to save her. His attempts were pitiful to say the least. There was so much more he could have done, so much more he should have done. I would have saved, I should have saved her. I will never forgive myself for not being there, for leaving, even if it was to protect her. And I will never forgive the dog for not saving her, for not even trying, for not bringing Bella back to the world because a world without her seemed such a dark, fearful and lonely place.
She once said "Death is peaceful, easy; life is harder." And she was so right, as always. But I have never been one for taking the easy option, but this time I'll have to make an exception. Bella was my life, my entire reason for living, for carrying on with this lie.
Before Bella, I thought I was fine, I had everything I need: my family; my music; my studies. I didn't need anything else, I wasn't looking for anything more, I was complete. But I wasn't complete. Carlisle had Esme, Emmett had Rosalie, and Jasper had Alice. And all the time I was searching unconsciously for that other half of me, and never finding it, for she wasn't even born yet.
And then I found her. And of the people in the world, it just had to be her. The person whose blood, the first time I smelt I wanted to do nothing more than drain her dry. But then I got to know her, how unique she, how perspective, intelligent, beautiful, curious and wonderful she was. And I fell in love, much to Esme's approval and Rosalie's disapproval. She never failed to surprise me. I thought she'd be like every other human girl. But then I couldn't read her mind and I had to try and work out what she would do, what she was thinking and it was always something different to what I thought it was. She was a mystery to me and I loved that about her.
I loved everything about her. I loved the way she used to blush the deepest crimson red whenever she was embarrassed. I loved the way whenever I touched her or became within a couple of inch from her, her beautiful, beating heart would pound erratically. I loved the way I always had to remind her to breathe whether I kissed her. I loved the way her hair fell down over her shoulder and that it shone reddish in the sun. I loved her colour of eyes, deep pools of endless chocolate. There is so much about her I loved, I love; I love every single piece of her, every single inch of her, she was flawless in my eyes. I love her so much you couldn't possibly understand. She changed me, only for the better and I am so thankful that I found her. That I had a chance to love her. Before my Bella, my life was like a moonless night, very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. …And then she shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. And now she is gone, now the meteor has fallen over the horizon, everything is black. Nothing has changed, but my eyes are blinded by the light. I can't see the stars anymore. And there is no more reason for anything.
The day I left her in the forest was the worst day of my existence. When I told her that I didn't want her, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy. I should have never have left her, even to protect her. I wasn't the same without, at least she tried, at least she picked herself up for her father sake and carried on, even if she was in some sort of zombie state; being reckless and risking her life, but at least she carried on. I, on the other hand, was a complete and utter wreck. I couldn't be around my family. I couldn't feed, I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything. I lay on the ground curled up letting the depression and despair take me. I saw her face in my mind every second of every day I had left her, I had to fight my way through every single hour and I can no longer stand it, I can't be in a world where she doesn't exist.
That is why I ask of you to kill me. I have no need or want to remain on this Earth without her, she was my entire existence, everything I needed and everything I wanted to carry out and without her I'm dying slowly every day. I do not want to cause a disturbance with the good people of Volterra but I no longer care what happens to me and if that is the only way I can have my wish granted then so be it."
Aro and the rest of the Volturi members had remain freakishly quiet while Edward had explained to them his love for Bella and how he so desperately wanted to die so he could hopefully be with her again, like star-crossed lover, like Romeo and Juliet. Aro wanted Edward to join his coven for a while, his gift had freedoms that his did not but he was content to just have one mind-reader. He broke the silence that lingered in the air first after Edward had finished his little speech.
"Edward, I can see that Bella means so much to you, and I dearly wish I could have met her, but surely she would not want you to do this. There must be an alternative to what you ask? Consider joining us, we will help you through the grief; we will do everything in our power to make things better for you. Death isn't the answer my friend."
"WEREN'T YOU LISTENING!?!" Edward growled ferociously at him, "I do not want to join you, I do not want to feel better, I WANT TO DIE, and if you do not help me, I will provoke you and you will have no choice to end my life, but one way or the other I will not be leaving Volterra alive."
Aro smiled, no a pleasant smile, a smile full of sadness at the realisation that Edward wasn't going to change his mind, he had chosen his path and he was going to stick to it regardless, he spoke again, "Edward, my friend, there must be another way, Bella wouldn't want this, she would want you to exist, what if she didn't want a world were you didn't exist no matter what happened to her?"
"It no longer matters, I no longer care, I want to be with Bella, wherever she may be, and she isn't here so I don't want to be. Please Aro," and with that he fell to his knee and hung his head in despair, begging for his wish to be granted, "Please, just do it, I can't take much more, I just can't."
Aro sat silent in his throne, wide-eyed at the begging Edward before him. He rose silently crossing over to his, lifting his head so his lips was next ear as he whispered so quietly so no one else could hear, "I can see how much you love her, I suppose I would be the same if my wife died, maybe not exactly but I have read Romeo and Juliet and I know the pain you have and I grant you your wish, because there is nothing worse in life than to exist in life without your existence."
Edward smiled through it didn't reach his eyes and it was still full of sadness. "Thank you Aro, thank you." And with that he rose and so did Aro who lifted on delicate finger and Felix and Demetri pounced on him at once. Some say you could him laugh as the Guard torn him from limb from limb. Some say that they could swear they heard him whisper "Well, I wasn't going to live without you." as he took his finally breaths.
And that was the end of Edward Cullen.
Finally happy with Bella.
(A/N: Hey Guys. Hope you like it. I was just wondering one day what if Bella did die, he would ask the Volturi to die, wouldn't he? So here is my idea of there confrontation. I always liked Aro, he seems an alright sort of guy, he seems compassionate if he wants to be, so he's showing Edward compassion and letting him die, after all he doesn't want the good people of Volterra knowing about the existence of vampires now did he? Hope you do like it, please R&R, reviews always make my day, not matter what mood I'm in :D Thanks Guys!)