Not so long ago...in a city far, far away...
"Homer, how many times have I told you to not do that to the television?!" A woman with a somewhat raspy voice scolded the overweight man with the balding head. "Marge," He said, "I'm only trying to make it more enjoyable for the whole family. Besides, I've never done this before, so it's impossible for you to have told me." He stated. Homer was in the living room, trying to set up the TV so it can hang off the wall, despite it being a box and weighed hundreds of pounds. Marge rolled her eyes and told him, "I did, it's in your contract!" Homer stopped what he was doing and turned to her. "What contract?" Marge pulled out a stack of papers and showed Homer a sentence which stated: Homer will not try to hang things in the living room. This includes Santa's Little Helper, the couch, the television, and the kids. Homer looked up to her in disbelief. "I didn't sign anything like this!" He uttered in a high pitched voice! "You did, Homie, when the Superbowl was on." "No fair!" Homer shook his fist, "You know that's when I'm most vulnerable!" Marge crossed her arms and stared at Homer, who finally gave in and decided to put everything back to normal. She told Homer she was proud of him, but he still felt a little down.
Sometime later in the day, the Saturday sun beamed down onto the residents of Springfield. Most of the students that went to Springfield Elementary were out enjoying themselves, but not the troubled Bart Simpson. He was stuck in Saturday school on account of putting laxatives in the teachers' coffee. He sat there in his regular class, all alone except for the principal of the school, Seymour Skinner. Skinner sat at the teacher's desk looking over the school grades. Bart was loudly tapping his fingers against the desk, hoping to get on Skinner's nerves. Bart was successful when Skinner yelled out, "Stop that!" after hearing it for twenty minutes straight. Bart let out a short chuckle, "Come on, Principal Skinner, why can't you just let me go, man?" The principal looked up from the papers. "Because this is your punishment, and if you don't serve it, you won't learn anything about responsibility." "Like it's worked before..." Bart muttered under his breathe. "Don't you have anything better to do on a Saturday then to watch me all day?" Skinner scoffed, "Well of course I do." Bart grinned, "Maybe you can go out and get some woman," He walked over and placed his hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure they'll dig a school principal like yourself." The principal glared at Bart. "Do I detect some sarcasm in that sentence?" "What? Noooo! I REALLY think you're a ladies-man." "Sorry, Bart," Skinner said in an intelligent way, "I know what you're trying to do. I'm not that gullible." Bart sighed and headed back to his seat. "This blows" He groaned. "This blows hard..."
Back at the Simpsons' house on Evergreen Terrace, Homer is in the kitchen taking a beer out of the fridge. Marge walked in and took a can out of the cupboard. "Don't forget to pick up Bart in half an hour" She stated. Homer pulled his head out the fridge and turned to her. "Pick up Bart? Where'd he go this time, Antarctica?" Marge poured the substance that was in the can into a bowl. "No, he said he was going to be at Milhouse's until 3:00. Which is ironically the same time his school gets out..." She started to get out the eggs. "Milhouse? He lives just around the block!" Homer complained and walked away, grumbling. "...lousy slacking kids these days..." He sat at the couch and turned on the TV. "Oooh, I have just enough time to watch Law & Order. One of the longest running shows on TV." He giggled a little. "ONE of the longest." The front door opened and Lisa came walking inside. She headed into the living room. "Dad!" She stated. Homer shushed her. "Not now, Bart! The bad man is gonna shoot the good man! OH, how realistic is that?!" He grinned. Lisa grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Homer let out a long frustrated groan and slumped down in the couch. "What is it this time?" Lisa frowned. "Dad, they're going to close the public library!" Homer stared at her with a blank expression.
"Then we'll have no libraries in Springfield!"
"..."
"I'll lose the only place I can study in peace!"
"..."
Lisa sighed, "Forget it... Just sign this petition..." She gave Homer a clipboard with a paper on it. He put on reading glasses and looked at it. "Uh...there's no signatures on here." Lisa growled at him and took the clipboard away and ran off. Marge walked in from the kitchen to see Lisa run upstairs. She let out a small groan and asked Homer, "What is it this time?"