A/N: Hello. Good to see you all again^^ Slight OOC-L, I rewrote the whole scene because L sounded like a 13-year-old girl thinking she's ugly. And L is far from that. Hug L!!3 Awww, he's so soft…(no, only his skin. SoichiWinky must be softerXD) And, I felt like it was time to change the rating. 1) L's horrifying memories from when he was eight 2) I'll probably forget later when it's really necessary. 3) Actually all Sachiko's thoughts should be rated 45+ (what is that? MAAAAAA or something…?) I can't say everyone who's younger than 16 has to move away, if I do I'll have to wait four months to continue this story, heh heh…XDXD But I warned you!!XD (I bet everyone ignores^^) Have lots of horrifying fun…BTW, I just felt like I had to thank deathnoteno1fan-codegeasslover too, thank you for your reviews so far and adding this story to ur community^^ Every time I see 'UP! DATE! REAL! SOON'! I know this is worth writing…Haha, I'm getting fluffy…But I mean it^^ This one's for you:) *corny MLM-mode: On*. Ennjoy^^ Oh, and I just found out this title doesn't make sense at allXDXD

9. Tomatoes

After half a minute sitting in Light's parents room, waiting for the evening wood to go away (nothing else happened, it would be a shame to break all the build-up tension in a minute, according to L), our two favorite geniuses walk away from the cursed room with the horrible, shame-filled and even more cursed black box to join everyone else with dinner. Hey, no dinner. Sachiko is still cooking and Matsuda and the rest else are chatting in the sitting room, Matsuda sending death glares to L(or at least trying to) for sending him away when the box was about to be opened. Light sighs.

'Mum…You just said dinner was ready.'

'No, Light…I want to talk to you for a minute. Ryuzakiii…You don't have to listen to it. Light could say things that might hurt your feelings.'

L doubts if Light would really say something that could 'hurt his feelings' without getting kicked in his face, even when he's not around, but he decides to leave. His calculating gaze slides over Sachiko's face for a second ('Oh, he's trying to seduce me again, that look says enough…Wait outside, Ryuzaki, I'll come to you later after dealing with my jealous, disgraced and cursed son, and we'll be GOING on for hours…'), and he turns around.

'Right. I just wanted to talk with Watari…'

Watari notices L waving at him to go with him to the corridor. L brings his face to Light's ear to mutter a 'Good luck' in it, and Light closes his eyes for a second and does the same. Oh, god. He already knows what his Mum will be complaining about.

L and Watari walk to the corridor. L mentally takes a deep breath and turns to his butler slash sort of uncle/Dad.

'Watari?'

Watari smiles polite and caring to L.

'What is it, Ryuzaki?'

'What do you think about me?'

'What do you mean? Are you worried about what others think? That's not like you.'

'Am I hot?'

'Hot?'

L moves his feet uneasily.

'Do I stir up certain feelings about-'

'-Strong people look 'hot', isn't it?'

'No, weak people just don't look hot.'

It's quiet for a few seconds. L's left foot slides anxiously over his right lower leg and makes a brushing sound, together with the voices coming from the sitting room. Watari wonders what the problem is. L looks embarrassed, and slightly out of character.

'You're right. But. You're a very special and nice person who's still untouchable and intelligent. And you're very beautiful.'

'I have black bags under my eyes, I don't walk straight, I'm even skinnier than the average anorexic, my eyes are too wide and my face is pale. I get I'm great in my own way, but why does everyone have to like that?! I don't like the attention…'

L's second sigh isn't just mentally.

'… And someone also said that you are always looking at me too...'

'Who said that?'

L hesitates.

'... Light.'

'Light is very proud of you. And he's right, you're very interesting to watch. Don't worry, I'm far too old for nosebleeds and voyeurism for you. Does it make you feel uncomfortable to be watched, Ryuzaki? Most of the time it's you watching others. This must be new for you, am I right?'

L feels suddenly knocked out of his balance. It's true. L usually only watches others, without being studied himself. And it's also strange to actually be knocked out of his balance like that…Even not Light manages to do that very often. Never, actually…When Light knocks L out of his balance, he gets a foot in his face or he gets cut off by L eating his mouth. And L couldn't do that with Watari. Eww.

'... Yes...It is...'

'Don't worry about it. Have you already asked Light about this? He looks like he's gotten used to attention.'

'Not really...He complimented me for being hot. And I like his attention, but everyone else...'

'Maybe you should get used to this kind of attention. You're planning on showing your face more often, right? As soon as people look at you for a shorter or longer time, they discover the fact that you are both unusual and pretty, and, regardless of gender and age, they will look at you. I think that's another reason why so many people, yes, including me, like to look at you. You are very special in your own way. Strange and pretty at the same time. That makes curious and nice to watch, right?'

L pouts.

'... It's still uncomfortable.'

'Well, Light is perfect for you, isn't he? And you for him, you can keep him on earth. I watched him too and he's not the cold person he was before he was with you.'

'How do I keep him on earth?'

'You tell him that he's not better than others, and he's listening too. You both found someone who fits your rhythm.'

L realizes they're not talking about what he wanted to. He thinks about everything Watari said, searching for something that could confirm the fact that the older man can't be hot for L…But he fails. He decides on trying something else.

'So, Watari…You're not some kind of a voyeur…?'

'No, I'm not. Don't worry, Ryuzaki, if I would've been doing those things to you, I'd have done it already.'

That doesn't sound reliable…If Watari would've done things like that, he'd lose L. And then, he'd totally disappear, and there wouldn't even be anything left to watch and fantasize about. Who knows, maybe Watari likes to spy at him sleeping or showering…L suddenly thinks about all the times he was bathing, and Watari brought him cake or something…. And the monthly health-inspection…? When he was younger (he didn't want it anymore when he was thirteen), Watari used to trace his body for strange spots or other things that could show diseases or something…Not his most private parts, but he was only clad in boxers and submissively lying on his back or stomach…

'Ryuzaki, you don't have to worry. I know what you think, and I don't feel any physical attraction to you, even not when you're bathing or I have to touch you for your medical examination. That wouldn't be right, right? I'm more attracted to older people.'

In less than a second, a certain memory concerning Roger and Watari sticks itself to L's mind, and stays there until he notices Watari smiling kindly, and comes back to the corridor of the Yagami's with his mind.

'What is it, Ryuzaki?'

'…Do you remember the Roger-incident?'

A sudden surprised and ashamed look appears on Watari's face. L? He and Roger? He probably means…Poor young boy, seeing things that Light Yagami wasn't allowed to see until just a little more than half a year ago…And really remembering it..?

'You noticed that? You were eight…'

L ignores the urge to bang his head to the nice and clean white wall of the room. He was EIGHT!! Children who are eight shouldn't be searching on Google for 'why man pushes dick in other mans ass', to find some gay porn site that confirms what they were thinking: 'Hetero people do things like that for pleasure or to propagate, but gay men prefer others from the same gender, and therefore have to screw another hole if they feel like it.' L still can't believe he positively does things like that himself now, but he doesn't want to compare himself and Light to Roger and Watari. And you just think different about things like that after seventeen years. With Light. Without Light, he'd still dislike it. L sends a death glare at the poor man in front of him.

'It was one of the first impressions I ever had of you. I won't forget that easily…'

Watari notices L's eyes turning into holes when he must be thinking about what happened years and years ago, perfectly remembering everything in detail…

'…You have always been a genius…'

L can't help but close his eyes for a few seconds.

--------------------------------

'Mum, you look pale.'

'...Oh, I'm fine...'

The Disgraced Son is standing in the kitchen again, and again cutting the onions his Mum had left for him. Now they'll probably eat later because onions are better when baked longer…Light tries not to think about the things he has seen under his mother's bed just a few minutes ago. And especially not about his Dad who sits on the couch, eying him through his thick glasses. Light smiles a weak smile and turns back to his Mum.

'Are you sad about me and Ryu? You wanted to talk about that, isn't it?'

His mother tries to ignore him and concentrates at the vegetables she's cutting at the moment. Light rolls his eyes for the tenth time that day.

'That's a yes.'

'… …Yes.'

Light turns his face away from her to pull a cynical 'You mean it…'-look, and suddenly realizes he hasn't done that in a while. Wow, he sure hasn't seen his mother for a long time…

'This is awkward. Are you really in love with him? And what about Dad?'

'Adults are complicated, my little Light...'

Light feels his eye twitch. Little Light. He has cried for hours once, because she called him 'Yes, sweet little, cute bunny of mine, defenseless, soft and protectable young childish sweetheart…' when he was six. She was in an extremely loving and protective mood, and Light fell from the stairs, and apparently looked so cute that Sachiko had to call him that. But she still…?! Light sighs and really wishes L was there.

'Mum, I'm an adult too.'

Sachiko blinks.

'Ow. Really?'

Light grits his teeth. Where is L?! Damnit, does he have to do this alone…?

'I think I can understand complicated things, Mum.'

'OK...Listen-'

'-I'm already doing-'

Sachiko is definitely bad at the infamous eye roll. She stops for a second, thinking what would be tactic to get Light off her beloved Ryu-sama.

'-Light. I'm nearly 42, I feel old. I want to feel young. And I think someone like HIM can make me feel like that.'

Light frowns his eyebrows furtherer.

'... So, you don't really love Ryu, you're just jealous because he's still young.'

'No, no, of course not...I really like him...'

Light holds still for a few seconds to wipe the onion damp out of his eyes.

'Mum...Why don't you go to bed with Dad? You almost look like you became a virgin again because you didn't have any exciting adventures the last ten years.'

'The whole Kira-case kinda distracted your Dad...'

Sachiko ignores the amber eyes of her son boring into hers when he looks up at her.

'Without the same Kira-case Ryu wouldn't have been here.'

She blinks.

'Really...? What is he...? Does he work for the police too? But he's at the university, like you...'

'Actually, he's only there because of me. He suspected me for being Kira and he wanted to observe me. I joined the case and that was the perfect ground for a relationship.'

Sachiko doesn't sound half as shocked as she should be when hearing her son being suspected of being Kira.

She blinks stupidly.

'…He's as smart as you?'

'Yes, perfectly.'

Now, she smiles dumbly. Like plastic. Her eyes don't smile.

'You really found your love, did you?'

'Why on earth does that make you smile?'

'It's cute! Ryuzaki makes my son happy, and he's a genius too!!'

'You scare me.'

Light chills. His Mum's eyes look strange. Not healthy. Did she also act like this when she fell in love with Dad…?

Ryuzaki is a genius too. He apparently fits my son. I'll see him more often then, but together with my son, talking in that Genius-language only Light could understand when he was younger…Do I want to hear that…? The distance between me and him…He probably feels it too…Wait. He feels it too. He is a genius, he can easily understand ME. What a perfect way to bind us!! And, I have experience with geniuses!! Right, how to win his heart…? What do you have to do to make Light happy…?

Sachiko suddenly remembers Light really loving the Teletubbies when he was younger.

'Does Ryuzaki love the Teletubbies…?'

Light frowns his eyebrows furtherer under the shining locks falling over them. The Teletubbies…? He somehow can't keep track on his mother today…

'What?!'

'No, no, leave it…I'm happy!!'

He's a genius. He noticed everything. And his ways to show me he loves me and wants to **** me are too complicated and smart for me to notice…


'Now he can come here very often, and he's always welcome in here!!'

'... You really scare the light out of me.'

'And then, there's no you anymore, isn't it, Light? Heh heh, heh...'

Suddenly, Watari and L come in too. L notices Sachiko smiling and decides Light has made her happy again, and hopes her attention will turn back to the Moustache sitting on the couch…Wait. No. She looks hungry for him again. Shit…Does he really have to accept these evil eyes practically molesting him…?

'Are you a genius too, Ryuzakiii?'

L represses the urge to sigh again. Stupid older adults…

'... Kinda.'

'Reeeeally?'

'…Yes.'

Sachiko begins to drool heavily. Very heavily. L wants her to do him. She just doesn't know which signs he sent her.

Light walks over to L and gives his neck a soft peck, and L wraps his arms around Light and tries not to get aroused too much by the lips of the brunette. Light…Where have you been when I needed you the most…

Ohh, that must be a sign…Light is my flesh and blood, right…? So, by hugging Light, he tells me actually wants to hug ME!! Oh, oh, Ryuzaki, you are so subtle, fine, delicate, light… Come here and hug ME…

Everyone ignores Sachiko hugging the air.

'And, what did Watari say?'

L shrugs and keeps his arms around Light. Poor boy does the same, but just a bit too tight. The conversation with his Mum must've been hard…

'Oh, he doesn't stare at me for those reasons…He just noticed the combination of strange and pretty.'

'Are you talking about yourself now…?'

L smiles. Only he (and Watari, maybe) notice the slight sarcasm under the faked surprised tone in Light's voice.

'Who's the one who's always saying how pretty we both are…?'

Light smiles against L's skin.

'Not me…'

'Yes, you.'

'Not me.'

'Yes, you.'

Light softly bites the white softness.

'Not me-e…'

'Yes, yo-ou…'

'No-Hm-'

L has grabbed Light's face and pressed his lips against Light's, making him shut up. Light first widens his eyes, but then understands the game they're playing and teams up with L by visibly opening his mouth to allow L's tongue access. He wraps his arms around L, and presses his crotch against L's when the sexy panda slides his hands over Light's hips. Everyone gawks at them, some aroused, some giggling and some downright furious.

Shit…But now that Sachiko knows, I don't have any excuses left to make them stop kissing...

Watari sniffs. 'Excuse me, but I believe something in here is smelling like fire.'

Sayu giggles and jumps up.

'Those two!!'

Watari glances at her.

'I'm sorry, but I have to say I'm serious.'

Matsuda sniffs too, noticing the smell of burning onions next to the other delicious flavors hanging in the air.

'Hey, I smell it too...HOLY CRAP!!'

L and Light immediately stop making out when they hear everyone screaming.

WHAT?!

'THERE'S FIRE!!'

'THE KITCHEN!! IT'S BURNING!!'

'QUICKLY!!! PUT IT OUT!!'

--------------------------------

'And that is what you get for making out too hot. The whole dinner is burned. Are you happy now?!'

Everyone sits in the sitting room, disappointed by the fact that all the food (including Sachiko's perfect kitchen) has burned away, and the fire fighters were too late to save it. And, all the men in the room feel slightly ashamed for forgetting the fire extinguisher next to the front door. Nope, no heroes today…L and Light are on some sort of holiday, and to wash away their embarrassment, they decided they don't need to turn off showers or put out fires today. The fire fighters were pretty hot guys, actually…Both wonder how the other would look as a fire fighter. Smoking and sweaty, and-

'-Stop dreaming!! I said, what will we eat now?!'

L decides to think about this fantasy later.

'I think we better wait for Watari to make something.'

'No! I am your hostess, I will make you something!!'

'Mum, you're drooling again...'

Sachiko walks to Light who's currently stroking L's hair.

'NO, I'M NOT!!'

Light doesn't respond to her, but turns to L.

'Blegh, she spitted up in my face...'

'I'm not going to lick it off. Wash your face before I touch you again, Light.'

'Allright...'

L and Light walk to the bathroom, holding hands and not looking at anyone. Once they reached it, Light splashes the cool water in his face and sighs.

'Yuck. Really, I never ever saw Mum drooling over someone, and you just make her do that AND have nosebleeds every time.'

Ouch. L's newfound weak point.

'I didn't ask for it...'

'She just needs to see how she belongs to Dad.'

'Turning off the shower didn't work. He kinda failed.'

Light blinks and dries his face.

'What about making them doing each other? They had a kinda...loud sex life before Dad went working on the Kira-case...'

L considers it.

'Right.... Shall we tell them to do that?'

'...No fun. No, better to do that without exactly telling them...'

'What about making them thínk about their sex life so they wanna fresh it up?'

Light blinks.

'Do you think what I think?'

L smiles.

'Do you think what I think you think?'

'Do you think what I think you think I think?'

'Do you-'

'-I think we better stop with this.'

'Correct. But first, is all the drool removed from your face?'

'Uh, yes...Wh-'

L places his lips on Light's and kisses them, before letting go and pulling him back to the stairs.

Light blushes heavily.

'Let's go now.'

--------------------------------

'Oh, hello, where have you two been?'

'Washing off the drool on Light's face after Mrs. Yagami drooled over him.'

Light smiles at the almost shining paper in Sayu's hands.

'Hey, Misa, Sayu, what are you reading? The Cosmopolitan?'

'Yeeaah, look at this!! It's an article about what-to-do-when-your-sex life-gets-boring!!'

L flashes a delighted smile at Light.

'Just what we need!!'

Matsuda blinks.

'What? Is your sex life boring?'

Light looks at L innocently.

'Maybe...How do you know if it is...?'

L dramatically gasps and puts his hand in front of his mouth, much like a shocked Misa when she realizes she's done something stupid.

'Now that you say it...Every time we do it is the same!!'

Light sighs eagerly.

'Yeah, every time is so steaming hot...'

'And good, ever-lasting and perfect, and every time it gets better and better...'

'And when it's clear who will be seme-'

'-Most of the time that's me-'

'-we just go and after some time we both c-'

'ALLRIGHT, ALLRIGHT!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!!'

L and Light smile. Exactly As Planned…

'Dad, is your sex life boring, then? Let's compare!!'

'How often do you do it, mister Yagami?'

'Well...' Soichiro blushes and doubts if he wants to compare himself to the far too hormonal boys in front of him.

'Dad, let's ask it in a different way. How often did you do it before the Kira-case?'

Soichiro gulps. Is this what they call 'qualified information'…? 'Well...'

Light sighs.

'Sometimes I counted it. Traumatic, it was, but I counted two times a week.'

L waves with his hands, looking pretty much like a stereotype gay guy.

'Oh, that's average, isn't it?'

L, don't act too out of character…Light smiles and decides to join him, places his hands on his hips like a girl showing off about her new purse.

'I think we do it one or two times a day.'

L gasps again.

'Or more. More than the average, isn't it?'

He chuckles darkly.

'Do you remember the time I blind-folded you on the rooftop, and did you?'

Light shudders.

'That was terrifying...But great.'

'Maybe your Dad should do something like that too. Mister Yagami, why is your face all red and sweaty? I think you and Mrs. Yagami better go upstairs to do something about that. I think you should also do something about the intensity of your sex life. '

Light pulls his parents to the stairs.

'Come on, it's healthy!! Just do, worse than you two having sex is you two having no sex. Right? Have fun!!'

Light closes the door and turns his head away from it when he hears the giggling coming from the stairs.

--------------------------------

A/N: *corny MLM-mode: Off* Hellooo!!:D Everyone who reads this has ignored the ratingXD GOT YOU!! Haha, you're disappointed in the lack of lemon, isn't it?^^ Well, you'll have to wait for that, haha!!XD No, seriously, I hesitated if I should change the rating for something so silly, but…I did it^^ YAY Now I can officially make this as 16+ (or 18, depending on ur perspective) as I want to!!:D And I'll probably use it the next chap…But that'll probably be horrible too. SEE YA!! PS next time will probably be the last one before I go to France, after that one it'll be…NOTHING for an entire month!! Awww...:(