Holly barged her way into the Tech booth, sighing loudly as she saw Foaly quickly turn off the monitor.

"Foaly, there's no point trying to hide it. You're playing on that damned game again aren't you?" Foaly had recently taken to playing Mud-man online video games, for Frond knew what reason. He turned the screen on again quickly only to see his character trampled to death by a computer generated centaur. A message came up unnecessarily informing him of his characters death.

"How ironic" she commented impassionately. "I know what this is about by the way. And I don't know what you expect me to do about it." Her voice sounded tired and stressed. Foaly knew she had been overworked recently. With no immediate threat to the Fairy civilisation the LEP's funding, which had shot up enormously after the Artemis Fowl affair and the B'wa Kell uprising, had started to dwindle. Cut-backs were being made and Holly had to shoulder the burden.

He spoke gently to her, putting aside his own grievances. "How did your meeting go this morning?"

"Not well. After a long argument they asked me to give them one good reason that the LEP needed to be kept at full combat strength, in light of the current situation."

"And?"

"Can you think of one?"

Foaly snorted. "I don't know. Is Fowl locked up in a padded cell with his psychotic spouse yet?"

Holly sighed. "We've been through this Foaly. Fowl is no longer considered a threat to the people, and Koboi has made no aggressive action for the last 8 years. The council just doesn't see why we should continue to defend ourselves from people who clearly have no desire to fight. Fowl just wants to be left alone to live his life"

He stared at her. "I'm sure Koboi wants to live her life as well. But so far her life has consisted of being a homicidal megalomaniac!"

"Foaly you know I agree with you, but there's nothing we can do about it. Fowl is untouchable, and so long as she's under his care then she is too."

"Yeah right. Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it though."

"Lets not talk about it. I'm sure she'd like it if she knew she could still anger us."

Opal Koboi laughed as she watched the centaur animation trample Foaly's character, imagining his face contorted in frustration miles beneath the ground. Silly Pony. Why would you play a game developed by Mud-men for children if you were supposed to be a genius?

She turned her attention back to the job in hand. The tests had been finished and she perused the results carefully. This was the most complex operation she had ever performed, and it mattered more considering the implications of any mistake. She moved over to the microphone:

"Artemis, are you in there?"

His voice was calm, but his reply was terse. "Yes. He's fine." There was a short pause. "Well done."

I told you so. The thought came to her head but she didn't voice it. He was right to worry she supposed, although she tended to act first and worry later. Which probably wasn't the right approach in this situation.

A few years ago, Butler had started to age rapidly. Neither Artemis nor Opal could understand what was happening, and at first they hadn't noticed at all, because his appearance stayed the same. Butler had noticed it first, commenting often how tired he felt, and Artemis had been alarmed immediately. After running some basic scans on his body Opal had determined that Butler's cells were in an advanced state of decay, dying much faster than they should, faster even than they had thought they would after the healing. Something had needed to be done, and Opal had the answer. For months she had worried about it, but in the end she thought Artemis would rather Butler lived than died. As she had predicted though, he hadn't liked it:

"No."

"Excuse me?

"No! I won't let you do it. It's too dangerous. Not even that, it's immoral. What you're proposing will take his humanity away. I forbid it."

You don't forbid me to do anything! Had been her immediate reaction. Instead she had spoken to him soothingly "It's that or a premature death Artemis. And Butler hates this. He wants to be useful. He wants to do the job you pay him for. If I asked him he would do this. I know he would want this."

"And have you asked him?"

"No, but I will. I want you to agree Artemis. I want you to recognise that this is the right thing to do. But if you don't I'll do it anyway. You know he'll agree, Artemis."

In his defence he didn't explode. "I need some time to think about this. I don't think this is a good idea, Opal. But I trust you. Please don't speak to Butler until I've thought about this."

Of course he had agreed in the end. Butler had agreed too, without a moment's hesitation once he had understood. So she had started on the most complex invention she had ever created.

Artemis stepped out of the door, and immediately walked over and kissed her. She smiled at his sudden expression of emotion. Butler stepped out immediately after Artemis, looking as he had done for decades, young, fit, efficient and ruthless.

"How is it Butler?" Opal asked.

"I can't even feel it any more. It's perfect."

"Good. That means it's been accepted by your nervous system. I'll keep the buffers in for another month, just in case, but effectively this is your body now."

Butler smiled briefly. "Good. Now I can do my job again."

This was directed at Artemis, who frowned. "I don't think... not quite yet Butler. Your position is still not certain. I won't risk you until certainty is assured."

"With respect Artemis, I'm the bodyguard, I take the risks with my life. You are at risk every day without me by your side. Therefore I have to prevent that risk, even at the risk of my own life."

"But -"

"Artemis, you won't keep me inside for a minute longer. Where are you going today? Oxford? I might as well come with you just to test my systems. There won't be any threat there anyway, so I needn't exert myself."

This he could allow. "Very well Butler, when you put it like that."

He turned to his wife. "Are you sure you don't want to come dear? Oxford is very beautiful, although I really do despise some of the older architecture, quite unsubtle. And I imagine you will find the Union 'debate' quite as boring as I will. And the traffic is abysmal." Having argued himself out of his own question, Artemis frowned.

She smiled at him. "I'm quite sure. I don't think I would enjoy explaining how the solar cells in the jet work for another fifty times. They never get it anyway. I don't know how you can condescend to talk to these people."

"Some of them are quite intelligent actually. Well a few anyway. If you're sure?" She nodded absent-mindedly, already thinking about something else. "Well, goodbye then"

Artemis had finished his speech and was attempting to leave before he could be arrested and questioned by various professors, doctors and cocky undergraduates. Most only wanted to know about Opal's inventions anyway, and it was only her elusiveness which meant they had to resort to pestering him. He had taken questions after the talk anyway, and it wasn't as if he didn't have anything else to do. So, sticking closely behind Butler, he slipped out as quickly as possible.

Once he was safely inside his luxurious Fowl Saturn, Artemis sighed and settled into the leather. It had been a long day. Butler eased down the pedal, and the car slid away, getting about twenty yards before having to stop for traffic. Artemis sighed again. Correction: it was going to be a long day.

Back at the lab, Opal was expecting a visit from Giovanni Zito, the environmentalist. After apologising profusely for mesmerising him into thinking he was her daughter and forcing him to waste a vast proportion of his resources on the subterranean probe, he had forgiven her utterly and, after a good laugh about the whole situation, Opal and Zito had struck up a wonderful friendship. Well maybe it wasn't that simple. In truth, Artemis had insisted that the Sicilian environmentalist meet his wife, and he had insisted to her that she meet him. The result was predictably unbearable, but after a long period, and after many apologies from her and considerable investment in his company, the two had managed to piece together an accord. In truth it was his respect for Opal as a scientist that had really made the difference, and she was surprised to find that she respected him too. Zito brought a degree of rationality to her madcap schemes, always seeing the practical benefits or demerits of her inventions, and especially the limit of her budget, which, considering she had lost her government funding and gained many rivals in the human world, was no mean thing. The point is that she had disabled the sixteen heat sensitive laser cannons in the grounds, powered off the electromagnetic field and locked up the robo-hounds in order to allow him to land his helicopter in safety. Although that last bit about the robo-hounds was a lie. Artemis had prevented their production on the grounds that they kept falling in the lake and electrocuting the swans.

It also meant that when a large black helicopter landed on the lawn, Opal did not retreat to the basement and lock herself in the lab before activating the DNA cannons, but ran out to meet the aircraft alone. Of course Kamal did not know that Zito was visiting, and had he not had this fluke of luck, he would likely have ended up in a British prison, or, if he had been unlucky enough to escape, at the bottom of the Moskva River. As it was he was able to run quickly across the lawn, scoop up the tiny (though extremely irate) woman and bundle her into the 'copter. The whole operation had taken less than 15 minutes, and Kamal breathed a sigh of relief. He was safe for a little longer, at least until he got to the Arctic circle, when he could resume his past hobby of steadily absorbing extremely unhealthy doses of radiation.

He snorted. "I should have listened to my mother and stayed out of the gangs." Yeah, right.