The Floor of the Chamber of Secrets
Bloody children! The least you could do is wipe your bloody shoes before you walk all over my nice clean surface. Then again, stupid ruffians like you lot could never appreciate cleanliness. Even that Slytherin chap that built me seemed to have a pathological aversion to a good bit of water and soap.
At least the bloody snake doesn't leave it's mess lying around. Except for the bloody skin that's sitting in the entrance! It's been great these past fifty or so years. No-one's stepped their dirty, germ-infested feet on my stones and I've been left in peace and quiet. None of those humans running around, hissing at each other and making a racket.
Great, and you had to go and collapse Samuel's left ear, didn't you? He was deaf enough already, but now you had to go and make it harder for me to have intelligent conversation. The ceiling, Beatrice, can only gossip on about what she hears from the floor above her, and the statue, Henry, is an arrogant git.
Always harping on about how Slytherin entrusted him with this and how Slytherin built him with his own hands and how Slytherin owes him... and it just goes on and on and on! Samuel was the best conversation in the place.
Oh no! Nonononono! Don't you dare get that snakes blood all over me! Imbecile! Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of me? And seeing how little people come down here, it will be even harder when someone finally bothers!
Yes, it's fan-friggin-tastic that you've defeated the mighty snake and saved the school, but what about the blood you left! And the venom is burning holes in me! How would you like to have holes burnt in you you ungrateful little snot? Here I am, giving you a solid foundation to stand on, and then you go and dirty me up! And not a word of thanks!
Well, we'll see how remorseful you are next time you come down, and you find yourself waist deep in liquefied rock that's suddenly hardened around! Eh? Let's see how you like that!