Love Remix
Ranma½ - Sailor Moon Crossover AU
By: Kiikun

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor have permission to use, Ranma or Sailor Moon. This is a work of fan fiction and I make no money off it. If you want money from me, you'd be better to hire me instead of sue me because I have no money to be sued for. Please? Hire me? begs

02 – Redheaded Transfer Student

Birdsong filled the crisp morning air as the sun started to peer over the horizon.

Inside her tent, Ranma-chan stirred to consciousness. With a stretch and yawn, she crawled out of the tent. After a few more stretches to get the kinks out, she re-examined her surroundings and took note of a stream she remembered seeing the previous night. Digging thought her backpack she pulled out a towel and a bar of soap, the essentials of hygiene for those who are often away from civilization, but in her case, it was all that was needed for a quick wash-up before applying for school. She already had plans to use the school's P.E. showers later in the day, preferably when no one else was in there. That is, if the faculty would let her attend on such short notice.

With soap and towel in hand, she pushed her way through the underbrush in the direction of the stream.

After about a minute, she escaped from the tree line onto one of the park's main paths. She had barely taken a half-dozen steps when someone called out to her from behind.

"Excuse me, miss. Are you alright?"

Turning around, Ranma looked at the man sleepily. He wore glasses, a dark colored gi, and looked to be no older than 30. He had a look of honest concern on his face as he approached.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said with a wave of her hand as she continued on her way to the stream with slightly altered plans. 'Damn. Didn't think anyone would be in the park this early,' she thought. 'Guess I can only wash my face.'

"Are you sure, miss?" the spectacled man asked. "You look like you've had a rough night."

Looking down at herself, Ranma noticed just how badly ruffled her clothes were. With a sigh she turned to the man who was now walking beside her. "I told ya I'm fine. Just haven't needed to sleep in a tent for the past few months."

The man blinked and raised his eyebrow. "A tent? You mean to say you slept out here?"

Ranma nodded.

"Why in the world would you do such a thing? There are a number of safer places to stay. There's even a small hotel on this block!"

Ranma sighed again, whoever this guy was, he was starting to get annoying. "I only got into town yesterday and the people I was supposed to stay with didn't want me around, so I set up camp. I'm a martial artist. If anyone tried anything with me, they'd be in the hospital before they knew what happened," she said, hoping that would scare him away and stop the 'knight in shining armor' routine.

"Still, I don't think it's wise to sleep in a tent in a place like Nerima. Please allow me to offer you a room at my clinic." Ranma turned to yell at him, but was cut off as he continued. "I'm Doctor Ono Tofu and I run the local acupuncture, moxibustion, and shiatsu clinic."

She glared at him for a moment before speaking. "Listen Doc. I don't need your charity. I got allot to do today, so could ya please leave me alone?"

"No charity then," he said firmly. "I've been looking for an assistant to help around the clinic. The job pays for the room and you get a fair weekly pay in addition," he offered. He was determined to help her somehow, and if she turned down the job he would have to tell the authorities about her, just to keep her off the streets.

Ranma opened her mouth to flat out refuse, but stopped. After giving it a moment's thought, she spoke up. "Where is your practice, Dr. Ono?"

"It's only a few blocks that way," he said with a gesture. "And please call me Tofu," he smiled.

Ranma watched him as she thought it over. 'Doesn't look like he's trolling for high school girls, and would be nice to have money and a place to stay since the Tendos don't want me around,' she thought. "Ok," she sighed. "But, I'm warnin' ya. I ain't a normal girl."

Dr. Tofu smiled. "Let's get your things and I'll show you the way to the clinic."

Dr. Tofu was still amazed as he walked along with his red-haired companion. When they had finished packing up her camp, he had, as a gentleman, attempted to carry the backpack for her. The unexpected weight of it had nearly caused him to topple over. Yet, here she was, with the backpack firmly in place on her back, and she appeared to be having no trouble with its weight at all as she walked.

"So basically," Ranma started. Dr. Tofu had already gone over what she would be responsible for. "I'm gonna be a receptionist. Also gotta keep the office clean and help you out from time to time?"

Dr. Tofu nodded. "Pretty much. It's not that big of a place and, sadly, I don't get an extraordinary amount of patients. Ah, here we are," he said gesturing to the building on the corner.

As they entered the waiting room, Ranma looked around. "You're right doc. It ain't that big," she said. Then she noticed the clock hanging on the wall and blinked. "Kuso! Doc, I gotta hurry and change, where's my room gonna be?"

"Upstairs on the left," he said, pointing in the direction of the stairs.

"Thanks!" she said and bolted off to get changed.

Upstairs, Ranma changed in a blur of motion. 'Not enough time to turn back and explain to Dr. Tofu about the curse now,' she thought. 'I'll just tell him later and go as a girl today.'

Dr. Tofu was outside sweeping when she came back down in a short skirted school uniform. "I gotta talk to you later about somethin', Doc. But I gotta run now to get registered at school if I wanna attend today. Bye!" she said, then dashed off down the road at track-runner speeds.

The assistant principal of Furinkan High rubbed his temples as he looked between the two folders in front of him and the girl sitting across the desk from him.

"Let me get this straight," he said. "You want to enroll yourself twice? Once as a girl, and again as a boy? All because of this 'curse' you say you have that turns you into a boy?"

Ranma nodded. "Basically. But the curse turns me into a girl. I was born a boy, but I've been like this for two years now, so it doesn't really matter which I am."

"And why should I approve this?" he said while trying to remember where he put the aspirin bottle.

Ranma smirked. "You want to explain to the entire staff that they now have a student who switches genders with water? And that they all need to keep quiet about it?"

He looked at her with half-lidded eyes. "I don't exactly believe this 'curse' is real."

Ranma glanced around the room and noticed the still steaming cup of tea off to the side of the desk. "May I?" she asked, gesturing to the tea.

"Go ahead," he said with a sigh and started rubbing his temples again. 'Why is it always the crazy ones that come to this school?' he thought to himself.

After taking the tea cup, she pulled a small thermos out of her bag and placed it on the edge of the desk. Waiting a moment for his attention to be back on her, she poured a bit of the tea on her head causing her change back to male.

"Do you believe me about the curse now?" Ranma said with a smile, while opening the thermos.

Mr. Moriyama twitched for a moment as he watched the boy pour water from the thermos over his head, causing him to turn back into the redheaded girl. 'If I tell the other teachers, they'll think I'm turning into the principal,' he thought.

"Ok," the assistant principal said with a sigh. "I believe you now. Just what have these other school's you've been to do about it?"

Ranma shrugged. "Not entirely sure. I do know that they usually marked both my attendance sheets the same. Some of the schools made me take tests twice, once in each form, especially in PE. Beyond that, I was basically treated as the gender I was that day."

Mr. Moriyama looked at the folders one last time before putting them aside. "And why do both papers have the same name and are listed as siblings?"

Ranma shrugged again. "That started at the school that helped me get the second identity started. They said they've had people with my problem before. But honestly, I think that place was the weirdest school I've ever seen."

'You haven't been here long enough,' he thought. "Fine. We'll get you a homeroom and inform your teacher. I just ask that you don't cause any trouble in this school."

Ranma smiled. "I'll try not to."

The classroom was as noisy as usual. Everyone was in the room and the bell had already rung. No one really cared that the teacher was late, but a few gave half a moment's thought as to why.

Everyone quieted down when the door slid open and the teacher walked in.

"Good morning, class," he said in a weary tone that showed his morning was already off to a bad start.

"Good morning, Sensei," the class echoed back.

"Before we start class today, we have a new student who transferred in this morning." He looked over to the still open doorway, "You may come in now, Saotome-san."

Near the back of the room, a certain girl's eyebrow twitched.

Through the doorway walked a cute redhead with her hair held in a loose ponytail. She was dressed in the standard fuku that most schools had for girl's uniforms.

"YOU...!" Akane yelled from the back of the room as she leapt up from her seat, nearly toppling her desk over.

Startled by the sudden scream, Ranma looked over and stared at Akane in shock for a moment before slapping her hand to her forehead and groaning. "Why did it have to be HER class...?" she mumbled.

"Tendo! Sit down!" the teacher barked, causing Akane to slump back into her seat. "Thank you. Please introduce yourself, Saotome-san."

Ranma sighed as she looked back over the class. "Hi, I'm Saotome Ranma, heir to the Saotome school of Anything Goes martial arts," she said with a bow.

The class 'ooh'ed in appreciation of the girl's title.

"Thank you, Saotome-san. Since you seem to already know Tendo-san, please take the seat next to her's."

Both Ranma's and Akane's eye twitched at that, but neither said anything as the redhead took her seat.

Silence between the two reigned as the teacher went on with the lesson plan. Until Akane broke it, that is.

"Pervert," she growled at whisper level in Ranma's direction.

"And why am I a pervert now?" Ranma whispered back.

"Because you're a girl!" Akane whispered loud enough for a few people around them to hear.

Ranma smirked. "So I guess that makes you a pervert too," she said at the same volume.

"That's not the same thing!" she growled. "You're just here to do more perverted things!"

"So says the brat who only met me yesterday," the redhead quipped.

"Who are you calling a brat!" Akane yelled.

"TENDO!" the teacher yelled. "Stand in the hallway!"

Akane glared and growled at Ranma one last time before stomping her way out the door.

The teacher then turned his gaze to the smirking redhead. "Saotome-san, will I need to send you out as well?"

"Oh, no sensei," she said in a bubblingly sweet voice. "I don't know what her problem was."

The teacher nodded and returned to teaching.

'Revenge is sweet.'

In a classroom on the floor above, the middle Tendo sister sat back in her chair counting off her current take from selling pictures of her little sister to the self-proclaimed 'Blue Thunder'. She paused in her counting as a thought crossed her mind and a cat-like grin started to form on her face.

"Oh, Kuno-baby," she called out, causing the kendoist to turn back to her. "I have some information you might like to hear... about Akane."

The mere mention of Akane's name made him dart back to the mercenary's desk. "What information is this that you speak of?"

Nabiki held out her hand. "8,000 yen," she said smirking.

Kuno didn't even flinch at the charge before pulling out said bill and placing it in the Ice Queen's hand.

Nabiki calmly added it to the pile of other bills she had already gotten off of him and placed them in her pocket before speaking. "Akane has been engaged to a boy named Saotome Ranma."

"What!" Kuno yelled. "Engaged!"

"Yup," she said with a smile. "My dad and his dad decided it."

"Saotome Ranma..." he started to yell, but was cut off by the teacher.

"Kuno. Stand in the hall," he said barely missing a beat of the lesson as this was a common occurrence anyway.

Once in the hall, Kuno raced to comfort his love in her time of need.

Back downstairs in the hallway, Akane stood with the buckets while grumbling about a perverted boy who was trying to take advantage of all the girls in the school.

"Come into my embrace, my fierce tigress! Let me sooth you and make you forget about your horrid engagement to some lowly peasant," Kuno said as he appeared out of nowhere and was about to embrace Akane.

The Tendo heir yelped and lashed out at the deranged kendoist. She smacked him around the hallway for a few seconds before unintentionally hitting him through the wall into her classroom.

In the class, the teacher had already given up on the lesson as everyone was looking at the windows to the hallway as the Tendo heir beat the Blue Thunder around the hallway not completely unlike a bull with a clumsy matador.

Ranma rolled her eyes as she watched the 'battle' in the hallway. 'She may be a 3rd-dan black belt, but she's still too wild with her swings,' she thought.

Of course, given the chaos that surrounds both Ranma and the area itself, that was the moment Akane executed a wild throw that sent the 'rising star' flying through the hallway windows and into the classroom, directly at the new transfer student.

Hearing the glass shatter, the redhead turned to see the airborne kendoist headed straight for her. Not even sparing a moment to think, she turned get out of the seat and leap away from the boy's flight path. She was just a moment too late as he slammed into her back, sending them both sprawling into the next row of desks.

As the dust quickly settled, the whole class saw the aftermath. Ranma-chan was momentarily stunned from the collision and Kuno had ended up with his arms around her, his hands firmly planted on her chest.

Kuno groaned as he started to come around. He gave a moment of thought to why all he could see was red before he realized there was something in his hands. Out of curiosity, he gave a probative squeeze.

That squeeze was all that was needed to bring Ranma-chan around and soon her own vision was filled with red, and it wasn't from her hair. With a quick elbow jab, she forced him to release her as she rolled away. Flipping to her feet, she glared hatefully down at the kendoist. Without even so much as a verbal warning, she proceeded to brutally pound him into the floor. After he was sufficiently bruised, she dragged him up off the floor by his neck and kicked him out the window. The only word she uttered during the whole scene was a hateful, venom-filled grumbling of 'pervert'.

Obviously, class continued after the desks were replaced as if nothing had happened.

Lunch time came about and the bulk of the student population flowed out of the school and into the fields around the school much akin to a bottle being opened then promptly turned upside down. Some would say the chaos that ensues from both situations were similar.

Nabiki and one of her henchgirls were running their 'business' when she caught a glimpse of a girl in another school's uniform. When she turned to actually look, the person was already hidden by the crowd. She took a moment to try and remember if there had been any rumors of a student that was going to transfer in today, but came up with a blank.

"Hey, Nakayama," Nabiki called out to her henchgirl.

The girl turned and walked back over to Nabiki after finishing with her current client. "Yes, boss?"

"Did you hear anything about a new transfer student?"

"Yup!" she nodded. "She's in the class next-door to mine. Your sister's class."

"Oh? We got anything on her?"

Nakayama shrugged. "Nothing. Though from what I hear, your sister flipped when she entered the room. Like they knew each other. Akane ended up getting kicked out of class for something too. The girl I talked to said she heard them arguing, but couldn't hear what about."

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. 'Someone new, and they already got Akane riled up?' she thought. "You at least got her name?"

The henchgirl smiled. "Of course, boss! Her name's Saotome Ranma."

Nabiki just barely resisted the urge to face fault. She didn't manage to keep all of her composure though as she stared at her subordinate like she had just said the stupidest thing in all of existence. After taking a breath she regained her composure. "Let me guess. Red hair?"

"Correct, boss. You met her before?"

"You could say that," the middle Tendo said as she idly rubbed away a phantom pain from nearly having her arm ripped out yesterday. "I'm gonna go see if I can find her."

"Sure thing, boss! I'll keep everything going around here," Nakayama said with a salute before running off to her next group of 'customers'.

Nabiki made her way in the direction she had seen Ranma walking. After a few minutes searching she spotted the redhead with a few other girls around her. She also noted that Akane was approaching the group too, and didn't look happy.

In the group, the girls were throwing question after question at Ranma. While most of them didn't bother her and had initially gotten answers, the girls stated asking her about what went on with Akane and then Kuno. While asking her about Akane was only a mildly touchy subject, asking about the under-a-minute encounter with the gropy kendoist was like salt on an open wound.

Then they finally put on a bit too much salt.

"Would ya stop askin' me 'bout that damned pervert!" Ranma-chan exploded, nearly pulling a demon head of her own even if she had never seen the Tendo patriarch's. That startled the girls enough to cause them to back away a bit.

"You're one to talk about who's a pervert, Ranma," Akane said coldly as she approached from behind.

Ranma groaned. "I don't need this," she muttered before turning to the Tendo. "And just what do you want?"

"I'm here to keep you from doing anything perverted! I won't let you ruin my school!" she proclaimed righteously.

The redhead looked at her with half-lidded eyes, and then turned to one of the other girls. "Have I been doing anything perverted?"

"Nope," she said.

Akane fumed. "I'm just making sure you DON'T! You... pervert!"

Ranma rubbed her temples. 'WHY... just WHY did it have to be HER school!' She looked up again to see Nabiki approaching too. 'Great, Pervert Patrol reinforcements.'

"Hello, Saotome," Nabiki greeted when she noticed Ranma look at her. "What a surprise to find out you're still around."

"Yeah? Well, I don't have much of a choice... Natsumi?"

Nabiki frowned. "Nabiki. And Kasumi is our older sister," she said then looked at the three girls still around. "Ok, you three, time to go. We got private matters to discuss," she said, shooing them away. After they had left, Nabiki sat down.

"What do YOU want?" Ranma glared at the middle Tendo.

Nabiki put on a hurt look. "Why Ranma, what have I ever done to you?"

"Tried to grope me, twice. And that was even before you knew about the curse," she said plainly.

The Ice Queen frowned. "Oh, fine. Use that against me. We were all expecting a boy to show up. I just wanted to make sure they weren't fake."

"Right... Just remember I won't be so nice if you try a third time," she said matter-of-factly.

Akane couldn't resist cracking into a smirk at that.

Nabiki waved her hand in the air, dismissing the topic before anyone else heard. "Whatever. I was just wondering why you've shown up on your first day as a girl."

Akane's scowl returned. "Because he wants to do something perverted!"

Ranma flatly ignored the youngest Tendo's outburst. "'Cause, I didn't have time. Had to get everything approved for me and my 'brother' to attend today."

The mercenary smirked. "Yet you had time to do your hair?"

Ranma blinked than laughed a bit. "Actually, I did this after my demonstration for the assistant principal while they were getting everything ready. Didn't wanna go to class with tea leaves in my hair."

Nabiki nodded in understanding. "How'd you get the assistant principal to approve of you and your 'brother'?"

Ranma smirked. "Told him it was either he let me use both records and just fix it up at the end, or he has to inform the entire staff about me and that they have to keep quiet about me. Easier to just treat me like two people and let the office fix up my records."

The middle Tendo looked at the redhead for a moment. 'That was actually a smart move,' she thought. "How'd you come up with that idea?"

"An old school got it started for me. I've just kept it going since then," she shrugged. "Makes everything easier. I even keep copies incase Oyaji decides to pack 'n run."

"You mean when everyone realizes how much of a pervert you are," Akane said smugly.

Ranma grumbled and stood to face the youngest Tendo. "No, I meant what I said. Just what is your problem anyway!"

"You're a pervert! That's my problem!" she snapped back.

"And just HOW am I a pervert?" Ranma said while glaring at her.

Akane fumed. "You waited in the furo to see me naked!"

"You walked in on me! I wasn't 'waiting' for anyone!"

"You still saw my body, pervert!"

The redhead groaned. "Didn't I already explain this! I've been like this for two years now! What's the big deal about me seeing a girl naked?"

"Because you're a boy!"

"I'm a girl half the time, you blockhead! Do you go calling every girl that sees you changing a pervert?"

"That's different because they're girls! You're a perverted boy!"

Ranma groaned and rubbed her temples to ward off the coming headache. "Fine. I guess I'm the only boy in the world with a period," she grumbled.

Akane opened her mouth to continue yelling, but froze as Ranma's words actually registered in her head.

Nabiki, on the sidelines, smirked. 'Well, well. That was an unexpected bit of information,' she thought. 'Wonder if I can use it somehow...'

Still rubbing her temples, the redhead turned away from Akane. "Really, I don't care what you think. Just leave me alone. I'm not going to do anything 'perverted' with your friends," she said and walked off.

After a minute, Akane was still frozen in place. Nabiki sighed and grabbed her little sister's arm. "Come on, Akane. We better get back inside. Lunch is almost over."

"Tendo Nabiki," Kuno said as he stood behind said girl during their study period.

Nabiki put away her loans book and turned to look at the kendoist. "Yes, Kuno-baby?"

"I have need of thine information gathering services once again," he said while taking a seat across from her.

"Oh, really?" she said. She was much more used to having to dangle a carrot in the form of her sister to get money out of him. He rarely came to her with requests. "What is it you want?"

"After thine self had informed me of your dear sister's plight, I went to comfort her. Before I could embrace her though, I was repelled by a great force. I must think that it was the gods themselves for no other thing could explain the vision of loveliness that had appeared before me. So quick was she that all I saw was but a momentary glimpse. That such a flower of beauty is in this school, yet has been hidden from me till now is surely a sign of some sorcery. I must know of this girl if I am to aid in vanquishing whatever vile being is trying to keep her hidden!"

"Interesting, Kuno-baby," Nabiki said while shifting in her seat. "But you still haven't told me anything I can use."

"Indeed," the Blue Thunder nodded. "Even though it was but a momentary glimpse, her visage shall forever be engrained upon my mind. Her entire being can only be described in likeness to a rose. Her eyes were like pools of morning dew. Her hair a scarlet mane."

Nabiki couldn't help but laugh loudly for a few seconds. "I know who she is," she said after reigning in her laughter. With a smirk on her face, she put her hand out to him. "5000 yen."

"Thou are a shrewd one, Tendo. But for this girl's sake, I shall pay!" he said and slapped the bills down in her hand.

The Ice Queen counted and then pocketed them. "Hmm. Where to begin," she started, theatrically taping her chin in thought. "Ah, yes. She just moved into town recently. She's staying with her brother, but I haven't heard where yet."

"And her name?" asked Kuno expectantly.

Nabiki smirked. "Her name is Saotome Ranma."

"Ah, a beautiful name to fit such a delicate flower," the kendoist said as he momentarily entered dreamland. "Thank you, Tendo. I must ask you for one more task," he said while handing her a letter addressed to 'the scarlet-maned angel'.

The mercenary girl looked at the letter with interest. "So I'm your delivery girl now, am I?" Kuno was about to say something, but she cut him off with a wave of her hand. "It's ok," she smirked. "It should be interesting to see her reaction."

"Thank you once again, Tendo Nabiki," he said with a slight bow of gratitude. "I have much to prepare before this Saturday cometh."

Nabiki's smirk still remained. 'Yes, very interesting indeed.'

Author's Notes: Hope this chapter came out nice. I don't know why, but I felt the need to get fancy/silly with some parts. Maybe I shouldn't have watched the Hitchhiker's Guide movie...

Anyway, I'm not completely sure I'll have consistent chapter lengths from now on, considering there was more I wanted in this chapter. Oh well. LR03 will have the revealing of the curse to Tofu (not giving away what happens), Ranma getting Kuno's letter and hopefully I can fit the 'challenge match' in. Oh yeah, and gotta fit in what's going on in Akane's head too.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Knowing people actually like my writing is what keeps me going.

Super Special Thanks to:
MGsaintz, for being my plot-hole detector and idea bouncer-offer, and noticer of what I miss while pre-reading...

Regular, but still Special, Thanks to:
Shinji the good sharer, for his forums
Innortal
PCHeintz72
Karude
Nuclear death frog