A/N: Disclaimer here. :] Please read and review afterwards.

Part 3:

Love Remains the Same

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like a lunar landing
Make me want to run till I find you

I would have said love at first sight was cliche. Who looks at a person and wants to automatically marry them? Maybe not marry them, but truly and honestly want to spend the rest of your life with them. That's what happened when I laid eyes on Buffy Summers that one day back in '95. For the longest time I watched over her as she killed vampires left and right. I was submissive to her power for awhile. I was afraid to even speak to her. I had no courage, I was a mere dog waiting to be petted. Then there was that one faithful night when I finally talked with her for the first time. I crept up on her, and she was ready to fight me then and there. I gave her that necklace and I watched how she wore it faithfully every day. It helped her with fending off rouge vampires and I was proud of myself. When I began helping her, the attraction was automatically there like it was planned at the beginning of our lives. Faith? Perhaps not. I believe that I make my own fate, but there was something. When our romance story began, my world flipped upside down.

I shut the world away from here
Drift to you, you're all I hear
Everything we know fades to black

When I spent time with her, it seemed as if my troubles evaporated into the atmosphere. She was so warm, and her heart beat invaded my ears and it was all I could hear when I was around her. The world could be falling apart underneath us and all I could hear was that simple drumming. Sure that sounds a bit cheesy, but it doesn't make it not true. Everything that I'm made of goes back to her. Even if I meet someone else and she does too, we will always have that one connection that will keep us together no matter what. Everytime my thoughts get put on paper they sound out of character and foreign to me, but then I realize they are truthful. Nothing could be more truthful.

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

When I left, a part of me dissapeared but then I found that a part of me that I didn't know about was revealed. I found that I could handle grief better than I had realized. I could pick up the shattered pieces I had called my life and glue them together to form a more funcutioning Angel. Although I won't pretend that I don't miss her. I do. Sometimes it's too hard to go on, but I know I can do it with the help of few others. I'm not a very social person, but everyone needs someone. I'm finally able to accept help, and accept my life the way it is because everyone's is messed up in their own different way. I know what I need to do. It's my mission to help others because of the debt I have on humanity. I can do it, too.

I never thought that I had anymore to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you

I left for her. She needs--no, deserves--a better life. She needs to have a life that doesn't involve me. She needs to have someone to grow old with and get married to. She needs to marry wealthy and have two spoiled kids who are spitting images of their mother. Their beautiful, beautiful mother. Even if that never actually happens for her, she deserves it no less. I cannot provide that for her. I can't provide for a family or even create one for that matter. And even if that was possible, I'd still turn into a monster. But maybe I was put here for a reason. Maybe I was put here to help people even if that means not having Buffy by my side the entire time even if that is something I desperatly want so bad that I lie awake at night staring at the ceiling picturing all the things that we could do together. It's not possible. She fights my kind and I could never change her to be like me. That would be a paradox. Unless some immortal demon would possess her to become immortal as well, but I'm pretty sure that could never happen and she be her self. Truth is, she's better as a human. The world needs her like I try to convince myself the world needs me. So maybe leaving was for me too. Maybe I'm destined to be a lonely, brooding man who sits in the dark trying to tell myself that I'm important and that I need to be here. But here I am, without Buffy and without much hope.

Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

Maybe one day my life won't be so messy. There really isn't any hope for me to ever have a female in my life who I love and who loves me back. I don't want to change back into Angelus. I don't want to become something so hideous that hell spits it back out, which it has once before and it was not a pleasing experience. Hope is dangling on a string for me. It's there, but it's very delicate. I want to cling to it for dear life, but it doesn't have much support. It's alright, though. Somehow I can handle this thing we call life even if mine is destined to last forever. I know what I have. I have my memories, I have my strength, and most of all, I have her in my heart. Forever and a day.

A/N; Review please!