Chapter 11- Verdict

I froze where I stood, contemplating what my life meant to me, and what life would be without Lucian. Was it possible he could die? He was supposed to be immortal, but both vampires and werewolves had weaknesses, didn't they? What if he died? I wanted to be there to fight for him, and for all Lycans. But was I strong enough to even fight at all? I would most likely be the first one they'd pick clean. Lucian clearly had warned me how fatal it would be for me if I didn't fight at all though. Naturally I wouldn't settle for sitting on the sidelines while he fought for his and his people's lives anyway. I wasn't the type to sit around while my loved ones faced their fates alone, whatever that fate may be, and however certain.

I couldn't sit alone in silence, not hearing from him, and not knowing what was going on while he was gone. I couldn't stay here in Seattle while thousands of miles away I had no idea if he was dead or alive. And I simply couldn't handle missing him. Just as awful, if not worse, what if I lost my life, even if he survived? Then what would we have accomplished? Then he'd be without me, and I'd have died with no chance to have survived. For that simple reason, if I were to die- and how could we predict that outcome? The odds were not good- I would be better off staying home.

It was indeed a terrible impasse, and I had no doubt in my mind these were the same exact thoughts Lucian had running through his mind. Plus, he probably knew in great detail what could and probably would happen to me if I went with him. My heart was defiant and unyielding though. Even if I died, I would die for him. All of the ambiguity of his fate aside if I waited at home, I knew in an instant before I was asked to deliberate that I couldn't leave him to fight this battle without me. It mattered to him, so it mattered to me. I had to be a part of his life and what mattered to him, and what was right.

Sadness and fear plagued his eyes. He saw immediately in my face what I had decided.

"Maya, have you gone mad? You can't-"

"You said it's my decision and that you wouldn't stop me," I said more harshly than I'd meant, staring him down. My eyes softened, and I stroked his cheek tenderly. "I have decided to be with you through whatever you go through."

"I won't let you to die," he whispered, his eyes brimming over with tears. "I have a much better chance of surviving than you do."

"I can't just sit here in Seattle miles away while you're fighting hard and when you might die."

"I won't," he said stubbornly, but confidently.

"I'm going. You said you wouldn't stop me if that's what I wanted. It's what I want. And to use your exact words, it would be too dire for me to be without you. Why won't you give me a choice like you did Sonja? She chose to meet you in the clearing in the face of death. Given the circumstances at that time, she had every chance of dying as I did because Viktor was after her at that point, and he knew exactly how to kill her just as he would know in an instant how to kill me." I wasn't sure if I should regret those words or not; bringing up Sonja like that and making a comparison between Sonja and then and me and now. I wasn't sure exactly where the words had come from. But the words hadn't hurt him. In fact he realized that I had a point.

"I'm sorry, my darling. You're right. I should give you the choice to take my side and stand by my side. This is an extreme act of love for me. I'm humbled that my concerns are as deeply your own now." He kissed me intensely with passion, and I held him closely, prolonging the kiss. "I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety. But should the unthinkable- the unbearable- happen, your life will be on my conscience. I will never forgive myself if you die because of me."

"And I'll never forgive myself if I'm not there," I asserted. "How can I ever promise you for better or for worse if I can't stand by your side when it matters?"

Despite the severity of the moment, Lucian froze where he stood, silently rejoicing it appeared; a shocked but joyous look on his face. "For better or for worse? Maya, do you mean to tell me that you intend…"

"To marry you? Yes. When you propose to me." I fairly beamed at him, unable to contain my joy either. "It would seem only right to marry my soul mate."

"My dear, I'd propose to you but I think you just proposed to me!"

I held his hands. "I guess I kind of did. Usually the girl doesn't propose, though."

"Well, I accept your proposal, Maya. I have nothing to give you though, no token of my affection…"

"We'll worry about that later. Your love for me is enough, and will always be enough. Don't you know that?"

He nodded. "Of course. As yours is always enough for me." His face became grave and focused again, with a trace of despair. "Now hurry, my darling. We leave tonight. Take nothing with you, it will be of no use to you anyway, except for clothing. Bring any debit or credit card you have too, so that we can pay for all that we need to pay for until the auction. I will have to prepare you as best I can to fight against the vampires."

I packed a backpack of clothing, and a toothbrush and toothpaste for good measure, and we were off. I locked up while Lucian grabbed clothing from his house. We met in his backyard, and he emerged from his house with a leather suitcase, and grabbed the pendant from the hook under the roof. We got into my yellow Crossfire, and headed to the train station.

"We will take a train to Boston, where I have a distant acquaintance there who I met by chance ten years ago in London. He is a jeweler. He will evaluate the worth of my pendant, and arrange a private auction for it. The spoils will be collected, we will pay for a round trip plane ticket, and the rest of the cash will go into this brief case. We will use what we need for a train ride, and when we are twenty miles out of the city we will carry on foot. The transportation time should be adequate enough to give you a rough tutorial in combat."

"Where are you going to stash the briefcase? That's your real estate money."

"Leave that to me. I will find a place when we arrive in England. I need to be certain I've found a place where no one, vampire, Lycan, Hybrid, or human will find it. You never know what anyone who finds a case of hundreds of thousands of dollars will do out of greed."

I nodded wordlessly. My head was beginning to spin, and I was beginning to feel as though I'd taken on too much. We were on a train to Boston by 2 PM. Lucian began to prepare me for battle, trying to be as quiet and discreet as possible with other passengers on the train.

"When you're in battle, you're going to feel a rush of adrenaline and emotions, some fear, some anger. You must fight as hard as you can to suppress these emotions, as the intensity will distract you from protecting yourself. Always aim for vital organs or the head, not just any limb or any part of the body. You cannot afford to be compassionate to your enemy, even though I know you will want to be. You can show no mercy, and not give them so much as an inch, or they will kill you. Your goal is to maim, and to kill, not to injure. If that is not an option with your first attack, then your objective is to incapacitate and immobilize, and then kill. When a spearing weapon is thrust at you, you block it. If you have no weapon in hand, you jump, duck, jerk, twist, dart, or whatever you have to do to avoid the blow, and if you have a weapon in hand, you simultaneously thrust the weapon at your enemy as you are avoiding or blocking their blow.

"If your weapons are knocked from your grasp and you are engaged in physical combat, you try to knock your enemy down, or force such a blow that they are turned in a direction where they cannot see and anticipate your next move. You strike, you disorient, you disable, you terminate. You must be swift at all times, and as you're executing a move, you're already strategizing your next. Though they will be trying to disorient you too, you must try to anticipate their next move before they anticipate yours. You will have to rely heavily on instinct that you didn't even realize you've had; that you've never used before. You will have to anticipate multiple enemies coming at you at once, and you will have to learn how to strike at two or three at a time, using both arms and one leg.

You will have to listen for all suspicious sounds. Any rustling, you must instantly identify the direction it's coming from, and you will most likely be hearing more than one sound at once. Move your eyes, but not your head, unless you are turning to combat an enemy already in your range. Pause only a second or two to listen to a sound, for every blink of an eye is crucial to your survival, and keep moving, but move slowly, especially if you are outdoors in the middle of a clearing. A still target is easier than even a slow target. If they try to engage in threatening and combatant conversation with you, do not respond; it will only slow your reaction time and distract you from the accuracy and effectiveness of your attacks.

Finally, remember this. Vampires can be killed by the sun, or by slashing. We will provide you with guns loaded with a new weapon we have created; ultraviolet bullets. You will be given a sword and its sheath, as well as a dagger. Conceal the dagger for a last resort; you must have at least one weapon they do not know about at first. Keep the sword within reach. Werewolves and Lycans can be killed with silver or also by slashing. The vampires have bullets with silver nitrate. It goes straight into our bloodstream, so if we are shot with those bullets, they more than often prove to be fatal."

"But not always?" I asked, my mind reeling.

"I have survived such bullets before I escaped here to America."

Disbelief and curiosity plagued my mind, and I withheld the compulsion to ask him how he survived. We discussed our general plans to meet up with the Lycans and form a plan of attack with them when we got there. The first Lycan we would look for would be Raze. The train halted at our stop, and we hailed a cab. We met up with Lucian's friend Griffin in Boston, and he appraised the pendant's worth at $250,000, which would be the private auction's beginning price. Griffin arranged the auction for six PM that night. The bidding was heavy between the five blue bloods that attended. In the end, the winning bid was four hundred sixty thousand dollars. Lucian collected the money from the bidder in cash, and organized the stacks into his briefcase.

We found lodging in a Hyatt motel, and I could instantly feel the fatigue settling in as I took a long, hot shower that night. I allowed the water to spill all over my muscles, knowing that they'd be much sorer within a maximum of two or three days' time. Lucian and I had barely spoken a word all afternoon or night since discussing our rough draft of plans on the train. It wasn't that we didn't want to speak to each other; there just wasn't much to say. The stress and fear was settling in, and the easiness of spending lazy mornings and nights in bed together for the moment were over. We were now facing our own mortality, or at least, my mortality, and Lucian's potential mortality given the right weaponry. I laid my brush down after running it through my hair a couple of times, and stared at my reflection, wrapped in a towel, in the mirror. I examined my healthy, vital skin, and imagined it tainted with dirt, blood, and punctured in places. I pictured my clothing torn and mangled, my hair wet and dangling in my face, and all pink and rosiness in my skin drained. I imagined myself laying suffering on hard, cold ground as footsteps thudded all around me, snarls ripping through the air. This may be the last time I'd ever see my own reflection. This may be one of the last moments I was breathing easily. This may be one of the last moments I was alive at all. I pressed my hand against the mirror and leaned my forehead on it, closing my eyes and resting against the downward-pulling exhaustion that these thoughts weighted me down with. From where the door was cracked open, I could feel Lucian's burning gaze upon me. I inhaled deeply and turned to face him, afraid of what I'd see. I didn't want him to be as afraid as I was.

His face was twisted in agony, but when I turned around he quickly reorganized his facial muscles to conceal it. He smiled with as much confidence as his sinking heart would allow, but his eyes betrayed him. I knew he feared for me. I would have to be confident for the both of us, but I didn't feel that way now. I had never gone to battle in my life; I'd never even thrown a punch before. I even yelped in agony when I stubbed my toe. I lowered my head in despair, and Lucian arose to go and shower, too. As he passed me, he took my hand and held it a moment as he kept walking, releasing reluctantly, and his gaze never straying from me. A knowing expression crossed his face. We both didn't speak what we both knew; I had little to no chance of survival. We had made a fatal mistake.