Being In Love Is Never Easy

By: Sailorjj07

10. Afraid

A/n: Well, I didn't make my goal. I wanted to be done by the time I graduated from high school and dang it all, I'm in college now. Sucks, huh? Anyways, sorry it took me so long to update, but now that I have to write everyday, my creative juices will flow more often and I'm gonna attempt to gear them to my stories. So thank you all for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I do not own!

"Talking"

'Thinking'

Actions

(Me!)

Die.

That's what Natalie was supposed to do since Tory left, and that was what she was slowly doing. Everyone could see it on her sleep-deprived face. Everyone knew why she was like that.

And everyone was trying to get her out of it.

"Did Tory die or something? She sure is acting like it. " Yai asked, watching Natalie wave slightly at them as she walked slowly to her locker.

"She looks like she's about to turn into dust, you guys." Maylu commented, watching her as well.

"I think we should do something." Lan said, and walked over to Natalie with a resolute look. He was going to do something about her or Tory would hate him for not helping her.

"Have you tried calling him, Natalie?" Lan leaned against the locker beside Natalie's and gave her a look over. She looked sleepy and sick.

"Yes! She's called him like five times in a row! And every time he picked up and told her he missed her and everything. Lan, she's sick!" Nadalia cried from her PET, making Natalie glare at her and put her navi on mute.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Natalie, you need to break out of this. Now."

"Lan, I'm trying, but I can't. I can't sleep, I can barely eat, and I'm just not happy anymore... I've been trying so hard." Natalie told Lan sadly.

Maylu huffed and walked over to Lan and Natalie, giving her new friend a glare, "Snap out of it!"

And then Maylu slapped her.

Natalie blinked wide, holding her hand to her face. Tears began to pool up in her eyes and then she hugged Maylu tight, crying in earnest.

"I've been trying and he's only been gone for a week, but I feel like I'll never see him again! And he's haunting me now! Dex is haunting me!" Natalie cried, sobbing into Maylu's shoulder.

"That's why she's been acting like that...It isn't only because Tory is gone, it's cause of Dex too." Roll commented sadly. She shook her head and listened to Natalie's sobs, hoping the girl would be all right.

"Why are you just now telling us, Nate? You gotta tell us when stuff like that happens. Call us, scream at us, something. Don't just hold it in. You look dead!" Yai cried, patting the girl's back as she sobbed into Maylu's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I am. I should've told you guys, but Tory was the only one! I only told him and when he left..."

"You still could've told him, Natalie. Didn't he say he would come back?" Chaud was leaning against the wall next to Lan, regarding the girl almost sadly. Yai nodded in agreement and patted Natalie's back again.

"But I didn't want to bother him...I didn't want him to worry."

"And walking around like a zombie isn't going to worry him? I ought to tell Tory you're acting like this," Maylu said, hugging Natalie still. Natalie shook her head fiercely, looking up at her friend.

"No, don't tell him! I'll get better, I promise! I just... Will you guys help me when I get scared?" Natalie questioned the group, sniffling as she looked around at their faces.

"Duh! What're we here for? We're your friends, Nate. Of course, we'll help you when you get scared." Maylu told her, hugging her friend again. She smiled softly at Natalie, as she wiped her face and then let her go.

"Now, let's go to class and let everyone see your pretty smile again. We've missed it, ya know." Maylu grinned at Natalie and looped their arms, leading her down the hall with everyone else walking behind them.

"Ok... Ok." Natalie put a soft smile on her face and found that after an entire week of being sad, smiling was a lot easier.

"That's much better."

Later

"So is it normal for the babies to say words now?" Natalie kept grinning at Anastasia as she said Mama over and over. Every time Natalie picked her up, she would say "Mama", but when Maylu held her, the baby was silent.

"I think it's new programming they put in. The babies recognize us now." Maylu's baby girl had been saying it too, and so the girls knew something was up with their babies programming.

"Yeah, that's what Ms. Mari said."

Natalie looked down at her baby girl and smiled at her softly, "Even though your Daddy is gone, he still loves you honey. We'll be a family again eventually..."

The baby cooed at Natalie and she just rocked her, looking up at the area around their tree. The group came and ate here every day and she had been there too, only now she was actually here. For the last week, her mind had been gone, carried off by the gentle breeze that played in her hair.

"Natalie..." There was a soft and gentle call, but at the same time, the sound was scary.

Natalie looked around the area, only seeing her friends in the area. No one appeared to have notice the sound, either, which made Natalie wonder what was going on.

"Natalie...love... come back."

'What?'

"My heart and soul... return to me. Let me live... instead of you."

Natalie resisted the urge to scream. Where was the voice coming from? Why did it sound like Dex? Was she going crazy?

"You should've died with me... I could've killed you, I should've killed you. As soon as I had the chance."

'Shut up! You're just my head making things up! SHUT UP!'

"Natalie, you fool. I'm Dex."

Natalie felt her body shake involuntarily, and the baby began to make sounds, as if she were going to cry.

"You can hear me because there is a chip in your head. Idiot. Funny thing is, no one will believe you if you tell them. No one, Natalie, because you've acted like a depressed psychopath."

The laughter that rang through Natalie's head was almost deafening and she knew she believed that what Dex said was true. But putting a chip in her head? She wasn't a navi or something to be controlled! Did they know she could die from stuff like that?

And who would care if she did?

Not World 3, apparently.

Natalie resisted the urge to cry and held the baby closer to her, in an attempt to comfort herself.

"I'm going to come for you."

"NO!" Natalie gasped out, managing to be careful with the baby, but still screaming pretty loudly. The group around her all turned their heads immediately, worry running rampant on their faces.

"Nate? What's wrong?" Yai was the first to find her voice before Nadalia echoed Yai's question.

"Ummm, n-nothing. I thought I saw something almost...ummm, get hit. Yeah, I thought I saw someone about to squish that butterfly over there, heh." Natalie faked a laugh and prayed her friends would buy the lie.

And lying she most definitely was.

The group looked at her oddly, but no one said anything, just shrugging and going on with what they were doing.

Natalie figured they probably just thought she was weird. Which was okay as long as she didn't tell them what she had just heard. Dex was right; no one would believe her.

Natalie felt like she was going crazy.

That Night

Natalie bolted out of bed, hearing herself scream. She covered her mouth with her pillow as quickly as she could, and looked around to see if Nadalia had heard her.

'Nope, good...'

Heaving a sigh at seeing her navi still sleeping, Natalie picked up her empty PET and pulled up the phone program.

She had to call Tory and tell him what was going on. Natalie looked down at her phone and shook her head, putting the PET down, "I can't...I don't want him to worry."

Natalie struggled with herself for a few minutes. She wanted to tell Tory, but she didn't want him to only think she was lying to get him to come back. Natalie may have lied earlier, but she'd never lie to Tory. Ever.

"Maybe I should...No, I can't. What if he does something crazy to come back?"

Natalie realized she was talking to herself as her own voice bounced off of the walls of her dark room. Shaking her head again, Natalie put the PET down and laid back in her bed.

She wasn't going to call him.

"Maybe I can last a little bit longer. If I go back to sleep, I'll dream about something else..."

Natalie knew she was lying to herself, but at the moment she felt like it was the only thing she could do to keep herself from crying about this. Natalie was scared; afraid of the dark and of being alone and of Dex and World 3. She was scared stiff, deathly afraid, and just frightened in general.

But on top of all of that, Natalie was afraid of telling her friends what was wrong with her.

She didn't want anyone to think she was crazy or anything; Natalie knew what would happen if what her friends believed got to her parents. Her mom had already been suggesting a psychiatrist just the other day, making Natalie panic and act as normal as she could.

It wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't Dex that was talking in her head. Dex, the one that had broken her heart. Dex, who had put a gun to her head and drove her to betray him. Dex, the boy that had been so happy when they first met, but slowly began to use her and manipulate her to his will. Dex was the person in her head because of a "chip" and Dex was the driving force behind all of Natalie's fear. It was all him.

Natalie's eyes popped open when a tree branch scraped softly on her window. She pulled her blankets closer around her and moved herself closer to the wall behind her bed.

"Great, now even trees scare me." Natalie sighed again, sitting up in her bed and moving closer to the corner. She put her head down on her knees and began to hum a tune she had heard on TV. The room was silent as Natalie hummed, and then...

Her PET rang.

Natalie's eyes got huge, as she looked at her PET, wondering who in the world would be calling her at two in the morning. Looking at the number on the screen, she hurriedly pressed the talk button.

"Natalie, why are you still awake?"

It was Tory. Thank God! It was Tory.

Natalie smiled sadly at the face in the box and watched Tory's worried eyes scan her face.

"Natalie, you didn't answer my question."

"Oh. Sorry. I, um, was just thinking about some things, that's all."

"Me too."

Both of them fell silent, and Natalie stared at Tory's thoughtful eyes. He wasn't looking at her, but to the side, like he didn't want to see her eyes just yet.

"Tory, what's the matter?"

"Lan called me today. I was very happy to hear from him."

Natalie resisted the urge to groan. Lan had told on her! "Oh really? What'd he say?"

"That you burst into tears in the middle of the hallway. Natalie, what on earth is going on? What happened that made you cry and how come you haven't been telling me about it?"

Natalie was surprised at the amount of emotion Tory was showing over the phone. He was usually extremely shy about his feelings, but tonight, he seemed really upset that she hadn't told him about her problem.

"Tory, I was going to but-..."

"Natalie, please don't be afraid to tell us things. We're your friends. I'm your friend. We're all here for you."

"I know, but...I was afraid, Tory! Ok? I was scared you all would think I was some crazy mentally ill person and not believe a word I say!" Natalie cried fiercely. She lowered her voice when she remembered what time it was, but she was still upset. Tory didn't understand how it felt...

"Is your hearing bad, Natty?"

"What?"

"You don't listen well. We. Are. Your. Friends. I will be there for you no matter what. You have to tell me if something is wrong, because how else am I supposed to know?"

Natalie nodded, swallowing back her comments. She was going to say something back, but then she saw the truth in Tory's words.

"I know, Tory. I know."

"Natty, if you knew, you would've told me." Tory said back, frowning at the beautiful face on his screen. He watched as a hurt look flashed across her face, but he wasn't saying sorry for what he said. Natalie shouldn't have done that to him...

"I'm sorry."

"Are you, Natalie? Do you honestly mean that?" Tory stared at Natalie's eyes, and for a second, they weren't talking over the PET anymore. It was like she was right there, looking as hurt as the day Dex shot his head off.

"I do. I am honestly sorry. I was afraid to tell you guys, but now I won't be. Even if I don't tell anyone else, whenever I have a problem, I'll always tell you." Natalie told him sincerely. She really didn't want Tory mad at her, and as it appeared, he actually was.

"You promise?"

"Yes. I promise. I do, Tory, I promise. I'll tell you every time I'm unhappy or sad."

"Ok." Tory nodded firmly and allowed a smile to grace his face.

"Just one thing, Tory?"

"What's that, Natty?"

"Promise me...that you'll do the same." Natalie blushed a little at her suggestion. It wasn't like she was asking anything that Tory would have a hard time with, but still...It was blush-worthy.

"I promise, Natalie. Everything you do for me, I'll do for you. And even if you don't, I'll still do everything I can." A serious look crossed Tory's face as he spoke to her over the phone and Natalie couldn't help but feel her blush darken. Tory looked so honest and sincere as he spoke; so truthful in what he was saying to her.

"I wish you were here." The words slipped out of her mouth before she had time to stop them. Natalie looked away from the screen and Tory laughed almost bitterly.

He wished he was there too.

"I do too."

End Chapter 10