Heres anoooooother chapter.

review if you read.

I need to know wether anyone actually wants me to carry on :)

x

THURSDAY; PART TWO.

They were all dead silent; you could have heard a pin drop in that room at the moment. Silence had never been as scary as it was then. My eyes roamed over the entire room, connecting with all of their confused, terrified expressions. I didn't know what to say; I didn't know if I could say anything. I gulped; my mouth was so dry it felt like sandpaper. My legs were wobbly and weak, so I silently made my way over to the couch that the girls had previously occupied. I sat down, conscious of everyone's eyes following me, and put my head in my hands. Breathe. I knew I needed to say something. Anything really, just to minimize the overwhelming tension surrounding us all.

I could really use some Chad charm right now. Yeah, I'll just tell them straight up, loudly, confidently!

"Guys, I uh…" I started, breaking the heavy silence in the room. Okay, didn't come out as well as I wanted it to.

"Cut the shit, Cooper" Chasity snapped "You've been telling me you've been 'sick' for the past few days on the lot and you've been acting extremely weird. What the hell is up?" I looked up at her. I know she was just worried, but her harsh words stung. I needed to finally tell the truth. I looked to the right, over at Sonny. Her eyes caught mine and she made a slight nod, encouraging me to go on.

I can do this. I have to do this. I'm Chad Dylan Freaking Cooper

The realization was that I was about to reveal to my ex-friends my hope eating illness, made it seem all the more real and overwhelming. Saying it out loud to people I cared about made it hurt even more. I could tell that my eyes were starting to cloud up, my vision becoming blurry as tears slowly started to cascade down my face.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm really just worried about you. I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh," Chasity apologized as she rushed to my side, she was always a weird one.

"No, no. It's, uh, it's not that. I actually probably deserved that, i'm a twat" I managed to get out, shakily, between sobs. "I'm, uh, I'm sick guys. Like, really sick."

"What do you mean?" Sam interjected. I looked up to see Portlyn glaring at him, sending him the message to shut up. "Sorry, go on." Sam mumbled.

"Sonny I-I can't" I choked out, just louder than a whisper, I decided this would be my escape, maybe they'd all forget tomorrow and I could be threatening to get them fired at the slightest things, flirting with my girl cast members and making mean jokes. That is who I am. I got up and made a break for it, only to land In Sonny's arms.
"Chad It's okay, just tell them" she whispered In my ear, "I'll be right beside you" I frowned because she was a nice person. The room was a dead silence still, some party this turned out to be.

As soon as I told them, I want someone to say they wished it on me. I don;t wan't to leave anyone behind.

I shyly walked over to my previous occupied seat on the sofa and the side of Sonny's body pressed against mine and she grabbed my fore-arm. I could of sworn tears were running down her cheeks too.

I took a deep breath and continued. "For the past.. three years, I guess, I kept getting really bad headaches, so bad they made me, uh, throw up. It happened constantly. My mum finally took me to the doctor In February 06," I explained. Mum, I miss her so bad.

Now came the really hard part.

Sonny's grip tightened on my arm, and I took another deep breath and just spit it out. "I, I have cancer." I heard a collective gasp, but I didn't have enough courage to look up at them, my blonde fringe falling freely over my eyes. I would of hated chemo. Even If It worked, I wouldn't wan't to loose my hair, that took years of perfecting to manage.

I just kept my eyes trained on my clammy hands, playing with the hem of my shirt. I felt tears falling onto my hands, but I had stopped crying in the midst of my explanation, getting caught up in what I was saying. I heard sobs coming from in front of me. Sam. I looked over to him and immediately pulled him into a guy hug "I'm so sorry," He kept repeating, over and over, into my sleeve. I gathered enough courage to look past his head, at the others. Portlyn and Ta- Oh what's It? Tawni! That's It, well they both looked on the verge of erupting into tears at any moment. The guys were all just standing limply, looking at various places in the room, at anywhere but the scene of Sam and I. This was too much. It had totally ruined my plans.

"Guys, please," I spoke up. "Don't do this. I don't want anything to change. Everything's gonna be okay,."

"How do you know that?" Sam asked with desperation evident in his voice. I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second. "I just do. You have to believe me."

"So Sonny knew all along?" That Grady kid asked, even his voice wavering. I nodded into my lap.

"I am so so so so so so so sorry" Tawni quickly added, almost whispering, she was like me, all I'd heard was that she cared about nothing but herself, she was a diva, but underneath, there's a soft spot. She's got the same stupid mask I used so that I never had to open up to my emotions, my pain.

"You never changed did you Chad?" Sam asked, sniffing away tears.

I chewed on my cheek as they unravled the tightly sewn threads of my plan.

"You tried to get us to let go early didn;t you," He added.

I didn't reply, other than a nod, I was too cowardly to even look at him or anyone else.

"Chad you didn't have to do that, we would of helped you through this, you didn;t have to pretend to be that 'up himself CDC' kid, don't get me wrong, I still liked you then but I'ce missed out on three years of you and I mean the happy go lucky, young, funny, actor, version of you"

Portlyn hesitantly spoke up, her voice gentle. "Can… I ask you something, Chad?"

"Yeah, sure." Truthfully, I was terrified of what she would ask me. Please, don't let it be…

"How, uh, how long do you have?" Shit. I somehow knew that was coming. I could feel the level of tension in the room rise even more as Sonny became rigid against my side. "The, uh, doctor said, I have, uh, I have a week." I cringed, waiting for some sort of outburst. But there was nothing; no reaction. Everyone was just planted firmly in their previous positions, nobody making any movement or sound for a few long, excruciating minutes. I was about to say something when all of a sudden.

"Way to be a party pooper, Chad."She replied with a light tone.

Oh, Port.

She did always know how to ease tension.

After we all calmed down, we decided it was time for us all to head home. The tension had again risen slightly, but not to the extent that it was at before. On their way out, Chasity and Portlyn hugged me, though it seemed as though they were afraid to actually touch me; as though my illness would cause me to break in half from a simple touch. I guess I would have to get used to people acting like that. I couldn't really blame them. Sam then left, but not before almost suffocating me with a hug. I guess he wasn't afraid of me breaking. Good to know.

"I love you, dude" he said on his way through the door. "You're gonna get through this; you're the strongest person I know."

Before following Danny's girlfriend out, I walked over to Danny who was tidying all the cups and plates away into a neat pile on the table in his basement or.. party room.

"I'm sorry, man" I tried to smile, my eyes were stinging from all the crying.

"What in the world do you have to be sorry for?" He asked.

"I just ruined your birthday party" I said like it was obvious.

"Doesn't matter Chad" He smiled "Hey, I'm sorry about your...your ur you know, cancer" He continued, shaking my hand. I half smiled and walked over to the stairs to leave.

Before I left I looked over to the two people left. Sonny and Tawni.

"These past days have been great Chad, and you're a great person who doesn't deserve any of this, but you don't need me any more, you've got your friends back now" She started strongly but had burst into tears by the end and she ran for the door.

"Sonny!" I called and chased after her.

She was walking to her car so fast but I grabbed her arm from behind, she tried to pull away, but I spun her to face me and went with instinct.

I crashed my lips onto hers.

My head was light and my throat was closing up, every part of my body went into overdrive and she didn't pull back. This was a feeling I couldn't simply describe.

I pulled away with my signature smirk planted on my face.

"I do need you"