AN: Long update, I know. There is no excuse for my behaviour, so I'm just going to hope you all forgive me and read the chapter anyway. I love you all! Part of this chapter's a song fic. For the record, I know the song TiK ToK was not around in the seventies, but it was the perfect party song for this scene. Besides, this is fiction. Anything can happen.

Disclaimer: Don't own HP or RM? Or the lyrics to Tik Tok by Ke$ha

Daddy,

I was thinking... I'd really like to come home for a bit. To see if I can remember anything while I'm there. Maybe sleeping in my own bed, cooking in my own kitchen or just watching tele will trigger something. I think it would be good to talk to you. You can tell me about anything and everything. And I really want to get away from Hogwarts for a while. I was released on a Friday, so I didn't have to go to classes right away, but I sure am dreading them. I don't remember anything. Plus, I want to get out of here… just for a while. People I don't remember are being so sweet and nice to me. It makes me feel horrible. I can't come anytime soon, but maybe we could fix a date?

Thank you so much Daddy.

Love,

Red.

I sigh and send my owl, Renetta, off. Smiling just a little as I watch her spread her snow white wings, I turn to leave. But not before I bumped into Joseph Wickham himself. I widen my eyes in horror. Surely no one's told him about the delusional period in which I thought I was dating him… right?

"Sorry!" I say, trying to sound bright.

"It's okay, it's okay. So, you're out of the hospital wing?" He asks. Gosh, he is cute. His eyes are the brightest possible blue. He brushes some blond hair out of his eyes and smiles. "You look good."

"Thank you. You look a lot better than I remember you." I smile.

He looks confused for a second, then comprehension dawns on his structured face. "That's right. When I first heard it, I thought it was a rumour."

"Well, it's not a rumour." I say angrily.

"That's really too bad. You and I had a ritual for walking to Potions. We would always walk together, then James would come and pretend to get jealous. Since you and James aren't together anymore, that won't happen." I start to walk out of the Owlry, beckoning him to follow me.

"So… we were close?"

"Not very. We're partners in Potions, so that's why we walked together. James never was jealous. It was just fun to pretend." He explains.

"So... are you dating anyone?" I ask, trying to sound casual.

"Nah, things ended badly between me and my last girlfriend, and I haven't been into dating since." He says, his eyes so sad it almost breaks my heart.

"Who was she?" I ask.

"Bethany." He shrugs, trying to sound casual, but his cheeks redden. He looks at his feet.

"My Bethany?" I whisper.

"Yeah. Your Bethany." He whispers back. "I'd love to stay and chat, Lils, but I have to go. Rounds, you know." Then he runs away.

"What the hell is rounds?!" I curse under my breath. I adjust my shoulder bag and stomp off to the common room. I bark the password at a very offended Fat Lady. She swings open, grumbling about "attitude in teenagers these days". The second I step into the common room, I want to scream.

In the few minutes it took me to get to the Owlry, send the letter off, talk to Joseph and walk back here, the Gryffindor common room had turned into party central. Red cups are being held in the air as a bunch of Gryffindors dance and dance.

"Welcome back, Lily!" Bethany, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Sophia scream, holding a big banner with "THE LILY IS BACK!" I'm shocked.

"Oh my Merlin." I gasp.

"You're welcome, Lily!" Remus cries, already a tiny bit tipsy.

"Party time girl!" Sophia says, holding what I know for a fact is her first Icetequila. She hands me a Firewhiskey. "You loved to party, Lils. We thought it would trigger something."

I take a sip of the Firewhiskey. It burns as it goes down, but it's a good feeling in a way. I take a bigger sip. "Firewhiskey isn't triggering anything."

"Just keep partying, Lils!" Sirius says. "Get on the floor! Dance!" He hauls me by the hand that is not holding the Firewhiskey and starts to dancing. I move my body uncertainly. I've always known how to dance well at parties... it just came naturally. But I feel oddly out of place.

"Down that cup and you'll be partying like the old Lily in no time!" Sirius says as he gets another cup of something or other. I obey, gulping it down as fast as I can. I feel lighter, more fun.

"Sophia! Get me one of whatever you have!"

"An Icetequila?"

"Sure!"

I down the Icetequila she brings me. That's when the song comes on... a song that's the perfect party anthem... a song you can't help but dance like crazy to...

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door – I'm gonna hit this city
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back
I'm talkin' bout - pedicures on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-toping, playing our favourite CDs
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy

... and I remember. It's a bit like watching a movie. It's weird.

*

April 10th, 1975

"James?" Lily asks.

"Yes, Lils?"

"Am I... drunk?"

"Yes, Lils. You are."

"James?"

"You're quite annoying when you're drunk, you know. But yes, Lils?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No. You don't remember, Lils, but our deal is that only one of us can get drunk at a time. For many reasons."

"Oh. Okay. Come dance with me, James!"

"Lils..." He whines, running his hand through his hair. "I'm tired. And besides, the party's almost over."

"Please." Lily asks, making her best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, Lils." James gives up. Lily squeals and drags him onto the dancefloor, where he puts his hands on her hips. And they dance.

*

"Sophia? Bethany? Sirius? Remus? Peter...?" I cry, desperate to tell someone about the memory.

"You scared us there, Lils." Remus says, handing me a glass of water.

"Yeah. You kinda crouched down and made yourself a little ball, with your hands over your ears." Sophia says, concerned. She's still on her first Icetequila.

"Are you okay now?" Sirius asks.

"I'm fine... I... I remembered something."

"Really?" Peter whispers.

"No! She's making it up, dumbass!" Bethany yells, swaying a bit. She's drunk.

"What did you remember?" Sophia asks, ignoring Bethany and Sirius discussing something emerging from the abyss, which I can only assume is where they think my memories are.

"I remembered... partying. I was drunk. I asked James if he was drunk too. He said no. I asked him to dance, her didn't want to, but I made his. Then we danced. That's it." I say.

"You know what this means, don't you, Lily?" Remus says, smiling a little.

"No... what?" I ask, remembering my water. I take a big sip. It feels nice. Refreshing.

"KEEP PARTYING!" They all yell. I just laugh at them.

"Play that song again!" I yell, to general cheering.

"Lils, come dance!" Sophia and Bethany cry, taking my arms and dancing.

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door – I'm gonna hit this city

The beat is pulsing through me, and I keep moving, my body getting faster with every measure of the song that passes.


Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

I feel someone behind me, but I pay them no mind. I'm getting my groove back. And maybe if I keep going. I'll remember more.


I'm talkin' bout - pedicures on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones

He puts his hands on my hips and starts to move with me. I'm grinding on a guy I don't even know. This is not the responsible Lily Evans I thought I was.


Drop-toping, playing our favourite CDs
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy

I grab a Windshot (named for its state of matter; neither gas nor liquid off a passing tray and gulp it down fast as I can. I can feel how much more drunk it's making me, and I get more careless by the second. I'm grinding harder than before now, and the nameless guy is certainly reacting.

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party dont stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

The chorus came, and I just went insane. I want to turn around and see who the guy is, but I can't stop dancing. His hands are roaming freely. It feels so good to let myself be immature and fun and, honestly... a bit slutty. No. I am not a slut. No matter how much I dance like one when I'm drunk.

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

Cups... in... the... air!" The DJ yells, and I grab a nearby red cup and put it in the air. The guy I'm dancing with doesn't though. His hands are still all over me. I down it and shudder. I really don't like vodka.

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here
Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

I like the feeling of this guy dancing on me. It's like we're supposed to be dancing together. Our bodies just... fit. Like how liquid fits perfectly in a cup.


I'm talkin' bout - everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys tryna touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

I wonder briefly if this guy is as drunk as me... or if he's drunk at all. I shrug off the thought and keep dancing.

Now, now - we goin til they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us –

"This is so good." I finally speak. He doesn't say anything. We just keep dancing.

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

"That's the Lily Evans we know and love!" I hear Bethany and Sophia yell. It sounds like Sophia's had a bit more alcohol in her. She's giggling.


DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

The song slows down, and so does my body. The dance is more sensual. It's nice. I beg the music to speed up soon, because that felt so much better.


With my hands up
You got me now
You got that sound
Yeah, you got me

DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up

No, the party don't start till I walk in

I put my hands up to lift my hair, and something hard, cold and metal hits my wrist. No. No, no, no, no!

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

I turn, and instantly wish I hadn't. James Potter is there, a guilty look on his face.

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop no

"You..." I raise my finger slowly, pointing at him, my whole body shaking. "You said, if I didn't want a relationship, we didn't have to be in one. What in the name of Merlin's grave do you think you're doing dancing with me like we're in one?" I whisper.

"Lils, you're drunk. I thought it would be okay - "

"It would be okay to take advantage of me?" I say, reaching out for two red cups. One has Butterbeer in it, the other something like rum. Rum has more alcohol in it, right? I save it for later and take a sip of the Butterbeer. I never really liked Butterbeer, but oh well.

"Lils, that's not the point. You said it felt good."

"That is not the point. You took advantage of me! You thought that because I was drunk and that I probably wouldn't remember it in the morning that it would be okay to dance with me like that?!" I scream. The music stops. All eyes are on me and James.

"I just miss you so much! I need you!" He cries, reaching out for me. I jerk away.

"No. You need someone to put you in your place. To show you that you can't have something just because you want it." I whisper. James looks confused. So does our little audience.

"Lils, what do you - "

What he was about to say, I will never know. I threw the rum at his face, luckily getting some in his eyes.

"That's for lying to me! That's for leading me on! That's for taking something that doesn't want to belong to you." I laugh and throw the empty cup at him. He's still trying to rub rum out of his eyes, but he catches it before it hits his face. Damn Quidditch skills. He throws it at my feet.

"You're going to realize soon, Lils. You're going to realize you want it. You probably want it more than I do." He looks me up and down and goes upstairs to the dorm.

AN: For those who are going to say Lily and James were OOC, don't. They were both drunk. They're supposed to be OOC. Review, lovies!