Things Unsaid by blustripe
Summary: Three months after the defeat of Metaria, Minako shows up unexpectedly on Rei's doorstep. When she stays the night, will they finally say what they've always wanted to? Rei/Minako PGSM based
Discalimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters or stories. But I do own these words. Please do not duplicate in whole or in part without my permission.
Things Unsaid - Chapter 6
The sun was shining, or at least it was on the other side of Minako's glasses. Hat pulled low and scarf pulled high, she could have been anybody, or nobody. Right now she was only the girl who's hand was being held by Hino Rei. Whisked. That was how she felt in this moment. Her fashionable boots tapped along the pavement next to Rei's worn sneakers. The light at the intersection turned red, and the two paused.
They were meant to be turning right, but in the gathering crowd on the corner their shoulders pressed together. So Rei decided to wait.
Where in the hell were they going? Rei had lost all sense of purpose, and when the light turned green she squeezed Minako's hand and charged ahead.
They eventually came to a small park with a pond surrounded by railing. This was as good a place as any. So Rei bought some baked sweet potato from a nearby vendor and they ate them on a bench facing the water. The scarf around Minako's face was cautiously removed, and she lowered herself to the aroma of her snack.
The steam from the potato in Minako's hands swirled upwards and about her mouth as she took a tender bite. The tiny eddies of moisture that rose past her lips had Rei captivated. It took her a moment to realize that those lips were now smiling. Rei eyes flickered upwards to meet Minako's but they were shaded by the heavy glasses of her disguise.
There were soft fingertips on her temples when Rei slid her glasses down her nose and off her face. Minako's smile dropped, replaced by a crinkling of her eyes and a warmth at her cheeks.
Rei wanted to smile back, but she was so concerned by the brevity of the moment that all she could do was attempt to etch every dimple and eyelash into her memory.
There were blinks, and sighs, and then a rupture in their silence.
"Is there a reason you brought me here?"
Rei returned her eyes downwards and picked at the skin of her sweet potato.
"Actually..... no. I had something.... else.... planned, but then I felt like we should just walk."
The thought of this supposed "else" piqued Minako's interest, but Rei quickly changed the subject.
"So I hear you finished recording."
"Yes. Mostly I've been doing promotional work. I have a TV interview tomorrow morning. And then a concert Friday night. And then there's a radio show, and I think a magazine interview after that."
"You work too hard, Minako."
"Well, my time is valuable."
"Its valuable to us too, you know."
A slight twinge of guilt prickled in her heart.
"Yes, well, maybe I'll invite Usagi to a concert. I'll get her a backstage pass. And you can come too of course."
"She'll freak out when you tell her."
"I'm sure."
"Prepare yourself."
They shared a nervous laughter. It was certainly easier to talk about someone other than themselves. With a start, Rei noticed she was still holding Minako's glasses.
"Oh, right. Here, put these back on."
Rei gently handed them back.
"Don't want you to end up in some awful tabloid."
Minako rolled her eyes.
"That's inevitable. Every few weeks there's a new rumor about my love life."
"Aino Minako," Rei mused, tapping a finger at her chin. "You sure are popular."
"Popular?! I'm Japan's highest selling idol! I'd say I'm a little more than popular."
"You know," Rei began in a suspicious tone, "I was thinking of starting my own career. Your manager really seemed to think I had potential. Do you think you could hook me up?"
Minako's brow pinched and her lips pursed.
"Relax!" Rei laughed. "I was only joking."
Minako still didn't seem convinced.
"C'mon, you know I don't care about that stuff. I didn't even know who you were when we first met!"
"I really liked that about you."
A lull followed, and Rei finally felt her tension dissipating.
At that moment, a duck that had strayed from the pond began picking at Rei's shoe.
"Ah! Ew! No!"
She shuffled her feet around but the duck would not leave. Minako felt laughter rising up from deep within her, and began giggling uncontrollably without a second thought. Rei, however, was not so amused.
"Go away!"
Minako offered her assistance, not so gently nudging the duck with her shoe.
"I think it wants your potato."
"Then he can have it!"
And Rei hurtled the potato over the fence and into the pond. Upon hearing the satisfying splatter, the duck launched over the railing and into the pond after it.
"What a rude animal."
With the disposal of the potato, there didn't seem to be much point in sticking around. So the two eased up from the bench and wandered leisurely back to the apartment. Minako could not suppress her giggles until long after.
They were inside again, and completely at a loss for what to do. Rei was quite upset at herself for so stupidly derailing her own plan. She had intended to take Minako to her most favorite restaurant for some unagi. What on earth had possessed her to walk in the wrong direction? It must have been the intensity of Minako's closeness that fuzzied her decision-making faculties. Yes, that was an appropriate explanation.
"Tea?"
"Yes please."
While sitting on Minako's pristine sofa in her pristine apartment, Rei tilted her head until her line of sight aligned with the kitchen. There stood Minako opening each cupboard one by one, apparently looking for some tea. It was strange. There was almost no food on any of the shelves. Or perhaps not so strange, Rei thought.
Minako chose to remain in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and waiting for the kettle to boil. Rei sat with her hands squeezed between her knees, gazing out the window. Cars and bicycles and people inched along below. So high from the ground, whether she was a queen overlooking her kingdom or a princess locked in her tower, everything about this place seemed to suit Minako.
"The view is amazing."
"Hmm? Whats that?"
"The view," Rei repeated. "Its amazing."
"I suppose it is," Minako answered, accompanied by the shrill scream of boiling water.
So now there was tea, two former Senshi, and an awful lot of silence.
Rei supposed it was now or never.
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
They sat slightly apart on the sofa. This was the moment both of them had been dreading and desiring the whole afternoon. Minako sipped gingerly at her tea, but hurriedly put it down as her fingertips began to burn against the cup.
"Look, about what happened at the shrine," Rei began.
Every fiber of Minako's being was urging her to interrupt. She had to have her say, she had to lead the conversation. But the promise she had made to better control herself kept these urges in check. She bit her lip, hard, and listened with intensity.
"Minako, there are things that I need to...."
The urge to interrupt was so strong Minako had to bite her lip even harder to contain herself.
"I need to.....apologize. I don't want to brush this away like we always do."
Rei's pace was agonizingly slow. Minako distractedly wondered how many times she had practiced this.
"I was insensitive."
Rei took deep, steadying breaths and persevered.
"I behaved poorly. And I made you feel unwelcome. I'm so sorry Minako. I'm so sorry for the way I hurt you."
Rei's gaze was firmly fixed to Minako's own, and the Senshi of Love had to look away. Her fingers scrunched at her skirt and her lips pressed tightly together. Rei was apologizing? How was she being so kind, so honest, so beautiful?
"Can... can you forgive me?"
Forgive you? She thought with incredulity. Yes, yes! With every once of herself, yes. But how could she properly express that she felt there was nothing to forgive, that she was the one at fault? That her bruised and bitter self really had no idea what love and trust was supposed to be? She wanted to say that this patchwork heart didn't know, and this Frankenstein of a personality had failed her at every turn.
So it came out choked and small.
"I think I hate myself."
The thought was not new, but it was the first time Minako had put it into words. And in this confession she found herself. Curled and bare yet newborn and vividly alive.
Rei did not look pleased.
"Minako, why....why would you say something like that?"
"Because its true!"
At this Rei fell silent. Hearing this very nearly broke her heart. She knew she had to tread lightly here. There were many responses that came naturally. That's stupid, Minako. Get over it Minako. Or even, welcome to the club, Minako.
What to do?
What should be done with this nascent awareness, this understanding as shallow as the creases of her palms?
"Everyone feels that way sometimes. But for what it's worth, I don't hate you."
Minako looked up at her through a thickening veil of tears.
"You don't?"
Rei shook her head with determination.
"But...I've done so many things...."
"Listen," Rei interrupted. "I think you're clever, and sweet. And stubborn, yes, but....strong."
Minako inhaled and exhaled shakily, but deeply. Her fingers loosened from the folds of her skirt and tangled themselves at her lap.
"And mostly....well, I wish we could have known each other under different circumstances."
"In another life," Minako agreed. "I wish that too."
"Perhaps we did," Rei said, leaning back and and attempting a smile. "We're quite lucky to have a second chance."
At this, Rei resolved herself to make Minako see what she saw in her. An explosion had gone off in her chest. It was as though a network of dormant flame had been set alight and began burning upon all the unpleasant memories between them. All those times she had been frustrated, angered, or troubled by something the Senshi of Love had done; Minako had perhaps felt even worse.
And now Minako felt like shrinking. How very unlike her famous self. Tears fell from her eyes like hot droplets of oil, and she grew more and more disgusted with herself.
"Hey, Minako.....please don't cry."
She felt Rei inch closer and a heavy pressure growing inside her lungs. Minako's hands clutched about her arms. She held herself and sobbed. This was her body. This was her life. This is who she was. It was just too much. It was just too awful.
Suddenly there was a warm pair of arms about her and a gentle breath on her cheek.
"Please don't cry."
There was the faintest flutter of lips on her brow, and Minako buried herself into Rei's waiting arms.
A/N: I hope this is living up to your expectations. I must admit, I'm finding it difficult to duplicate the style of previous chapters. Its just so dense, and reading over it all I cant help but wonder how the hell I managed to do that. Mostly I'm a little frustrated at all the things I'd like to change. But there's no point in re-doing the story now that you've all read it. Anyways, I promise to do my best and adhere to the style you've come to expect. So onward to chapter 7!