I know I'm diving into my own destruction
So, why do we choose the boys that are naughtY
I don't fit in, so why would you want me?
I know I can't tame you, but I just keep trying…
Why do the good girls… always want the bad boys? - No doubt
It was a verse from a song that she quoted in her diary.
Dawn couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. She constantly touched her lips.
The way he had looked at her when he said he knew her 'little secret'
It made her feel uncomfortable. Was she such an open book? Was there no way she could protect herself? She had to if she didn't want to get heartbroken in this case.
"Dawn, are you gonna go to sleep?" Buffy opened the door. Since their mom had passed away, Buffy went al mother-ish on her.
"In a minute" she replied. "I want lights out in 10 minutes" Buffy reminded her before she closed the door again.
Spike had mentioned something about Buffy who constantly kept on stealing her thunder.
Ok, it was partly true. But was it a reason to want to hurt her? Dawn kept on going back and forth between her thoughts.
Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes…
She could finally have something that she wanted. She could even try to have him.
Besides his attitude was sexy. He could protect her like he had mentioned. No doubt about it.
She would have an actual strong 'boyfriend'
The word boyfriend made her shudder. The name Spike made her light-headed.
She told herself off for it. Imagining things like this could only be kept to herself and never be admitted to Spike.
Dawn had to find a way to create a safe mask.
Maybe she needed to confront herself with his evil side that was still in him. She had to remind herself constantly that he only out to get Buffy.
That she was used for his vendetta.
Her thoughts drifted back to his beautiful blue eyes. The intensity that they had when he looked at you. When he connected with you…
And his hands that could feel so warm, despite of his coolness.
The way he had kissed her…
Soft, gentle.
Not even cold.
And finally once again..
Where did the boner come from if Dawn really was just Dawnie bit to him?
She finally noted in her diary:
Reminder to self: Spike is evil.
Then she closed her diary.
Hid it under her pillow and turned off her light.