Here's a peek into Bella and just some of her issues. And also a bit of maryjane fluff, since it's Bella's favorite!
You're all awesome. So stay that way, since Edward and Bella will be meeting next chapter!!!!!!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All that is Twilight belongs to the brilliant Steph Meyer
I looked over to the corner seat of the van to see Ben's arm wrapped around Angela's shoulder while she was feeding him a gummy bear. Since Ang is one of my closest friends, I can say that he is lucky to have her. She is beautiful, smart, and so kind. But if I was being completely honest, Ben was a groovy dude.
When I first moved to Forks, Angela was one of the first people, aside from Mike, to reach out to me. Naturally Ben followed her lead and welcomed me into their group of friends. To this day, I still have no clue why they all chose to befriend me. I was jaded and withdrawn when I first came to live with Charlie seven months ago. And the past seven months have been quite a blur...
Wow... Am I becoming Renee? I thought.
Anxiety crept through me as the thought settled in my mind. I quickly tried to put out the negative feelings associated with my mother. Sure, I love her; I love Renee more than she'll ever know. But she and I have experienced somewhat of a falling out since I left Arizona. She'd met some drifter, again, and actually became even more obsessed than usual. Phil was nice enough, way into music - which was good by me. But I was through trying to play this role of taking care of her when no man would, then also losing myself over the years because of her gypsy ways. I had to be the parent. I never drank or smoked until moving to Forks. Sure, I'm a hippie and I do drugs and I dig a good time now. Still, I'm no Renee. Growing up she moved me around the better part of the Midwestern United States, crashing on couches, in cars, etc. I'd been trying for as long as I could remember to save her from whatever she tried hiding from, but it was no use. While Renee partied and went on crazy drug binges with the flavor of the week, I tried my best to keep our lives stable, keep Renee alive, and keep my own head above water.
When I finally felt stable in a good school, decent job, and a fairly cozy home, she asked me to go with her and chase Phil to Florida. Enough is enough, right? I told her I loved her, but I wasn't going on another two month long road trip with her only to come back and have to clean up her "break up therapy" alcohol and pot binges. I guess she understood, because two weeks later I was on a plane to Washington with two brown, medium-sized suitcases. She didn't leave me for a man, I wouldn't let that happen again. So I packed up and told her with my best attempt at a smile, "have fun, be safe, and I love you."
Angela must have seen me zoning out with some sad look on my face because she threw one of her gummy bears at me and showed worry in her green eyes. I grinned at her with an apologetic look.
Geez, Bella. Get a grip. Don't make this trip a drag for everyone, I thought to myself.
"What's up, space cadet?" Jessica giggled.
"Oh, Jessica," I sighed. "Why are you talking?"
Everyone in the van tried not to laugh until Jessica made a sour face and flipped her hair, then they all began to giggle. Feeling triumphant, I leaned my head forward as I started to unwind my braided hair. I was beginning to get a headache and Jessica was not helping. At least the nasty look she was giving me now was accompanied with silence.
"Okay," Eric said, rubbing his hands together and getting ready to turn on the tape player. "Let's get some more goodies flowing before we get to San Fran! And Bella, this song's for you!"
I smiled to myself as I heard the familiar tune tear through the cheap speakers. Moving my head to the music and seeing my wavey, chestnut strands fall around my shoulders got me started on rolling a joint. The paper felt smooth beneath my fingertips as I placed a neat line of weed on the paper. I'd gotten some good pot from Jacob before we left. Jake was far out and just a really good guy, even if I knew he wanted more than I could give. He didn't mind being my friend, and he didn't mind helping me rebel against the responsible girl I always felt I'd had to be while I was growing up with Renee. My smile widened as I thought of how great he'd been since Charlie re-introduced us. Then the vocals started on the song, bringing me back to the present, and I couldn't help but lightly sing along:
"Seems like I've been here before,
Fuzzy then and still so obscure, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye.
And I don't want to see anybody cry,
Meet me some mornin' in the sweet by and by, by and by, by and by."
I passed the joint to Ben as I exhaled and started playing the air guitar to Jerry Garcia's ridiculous lead riffs and sang louder:
"Song commin' on,
So pleasin' to see, come and gone, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye,
You don't have to tell me why,
Meet me some mornin' in the sweet by and by, by and by, by and by.
It ain't cause I'm the only one left darlin',
Bout the time the sun rises west,
Feelin' groovy, lookin' fine."
Now we were all jamming out like Deadheads with goofy grins plastered on our faces, joint in rotation and music blaring. This was a memory I was going to try really hard to remember, not just blur it out like some of the more lonely ones. I was with friends, I was feeling fine, and I knew I could be myself. My head tilted back and sang along with the rest of my crew:
"Think I'll come back here again,
Every now and then from time to time.
My how lovely you are, my dear,
The ball game has gone much too far my dear,
Sing to me, do your thing to me,
I'll meet you some mornin', meet you some mornin',
In the sweet by and by, by and by, by and by."
"Let's do another Dead song," Eric grinned. "Oh and roll another one, somebody! One more hour and we'll be in San Francisco!!!"
I smiled as I grabbed the pot and papers out of my bag. One more hour...
reviews are better than eddie and bella's meeting san francisco!
thanks for reading!!! new chapter on it's way. i've already got it in the works!!
peace&love