Chapter 5
The enraged female Nagus whirled on Tola and Furnier.
"WHERE IS SHE?!"
"I do not know, Nagus." Furnier said. "Smiley O'brien was supposed to guard her. We should be asking where he is."
As if on cue, Smiley and the alternate Kirk walked in the hall together, each with a smug, satisfied look on his face. When they saw the boiling mad Ishka, they froze in their tracks for a moment. Then, Smiley noticed why she was so angry. Kira had escaped. Dax took a step forward, hoping to speak with Smiley about getting them home.
"Smiley—"
"Not now!" Tola barked. "We have business with you, tinkerer. Where is the intendant?"
The way she addressed him made his skin crawl, but he put on a brave front. "Relax, Tola. Captain James R Kirk and I put a little…present on her shuttle. She had beamed over there with a subcutaneous transponder."
"What kind of 'present'?" The Nagus asked, calming herself, but still scowling.
"You will see in a few minutes when she goes into warp." Smiley said proudly.
"An old friend named Charlie gave me the idea." The evil Kirk said with a wink in Tola's direction.
The Andorian singer grinned broadly.
"You took off the baffle plate to the energy converter!"
"Yep. She's pork chops as soon as she goes into warp." James R Kirk answered with a nod. Before he finished the sentence, the station shook violently.
After the group recovered, the alternate Kirk congratulated Furnier, Tola and O'Brien and offered to buy them all drinks in order to celebrate Kira's apparent demise. Both Peter and Dax thought that the blast, if that is what it truly was, seemed mighty close for a shuttle that supposedly just went into warp, and suggested that they make sure that the intendant's shuttle was the one they blew up.
Tola agreed, and Dax and Peter led the way to OPS, the Andorian entertainer and the others following close behind.
Dax studied the sensor readings and noticed something very peculiar. There was indeed a shuttle that exploded, but it was not the kind of shuttle the intendant would use. It looked more like Peter's.
"Ridiculous!" Tola snapped, pushing Dax out of the way. "Why would this Earth man's craft be transported to this side? That is not Peter's shuttle! It's…it's MINE!!" She turned on Smiley and the evil Kirk. "You idiots! You blew up my ship! How in the hell am I going to get back to Andor?!"
Peter smiled with amusement. "Well, that's one way to take out the garbage."
"Very funny." The Andorian said, not amused. "That shuttle may have been old, but it was still spaceworthy. My bodyguards and I used it for nostalgic purposes, to show our people that not all hope was lost with regards to regaining our empire. I repeat my question, Smiley! How am I going to get back home?"
Smiley shrugged. "There are other ships around. You can use one of those. In fact, a Tellarite freighter is due to arrive here within the hour with supplies for Quark's bar. You can hitch a ride with them."
"I do not relish the thought of spending the time going home with a bunch of argumentative insufferable bores, but it looks like I have little choice, thanks to you two dorks." Tola grumbled, but she seemed resigned to the idea.
"There is another question remaining." Dax said dryly. "Where is the intendant? She wouldn't be stupid enough to take your shuttle, Tola."
"Quite right. She is clever. We seriously underestimated the witch. Any ideas, repairman?"
Smiley sighed and shrugged again. "She could be anywhere by now."
***
Both Peter and Dax thought of the possibility that the intendant had gone into their universe. The alternate Captain Kirk and Tola both agreed to let them go back to their own universe on the condition that they make a thorough search for the alternate Kira, and Smiley and the other Kirk accompany them. To Dax's dismay, Furnier told them rather offhandedly that they had known about the wormhole for quite some time, but were unwilling to try it because of the cloaked mines. Now that they were out of the picture, Dax reluctantly agreed to let them have access to it. Smiley was more than happy to bring them back with the device he constructed to bridge the two universes, but Kirk thought it might be more fun going through the wormhole. Peter even offered Tola his battered ship upon their return, if either O'Brien was willing to make repairs on it, as a consolation, in case Kira couldn't be found. Since Peter's craft was already about twenty years old, he didn't see any kind of security risk in giving it to the Andorian singer. This offer was also insurance, in case they found the other Kira, but the Deep Space Nine crew let her escape somehow.
The Nagus reluctantly supplied them with her own personal spacecraft for the trip to the other side. She thought it wouldn't be such a good idea to go over herself, knowing that no Ferengi on that side would accept a female Nagus. The thought of going over to that other reality intrigued her, though, and she wished them luck.
Going back to their own side via the wormhole was easy enough. Major Kira had the procedure all mapped out, and Dax had studied it after the major and Bashir had stumbled upon it and came back intact.
When they emerged from the wormhole, they could see that there were a couple of Federation starships and Klingon battle cruisers orbiting and docking at the station. The alternate Captain Kirk was impressed with the new Federation ship designs, although he thought that the Klingon crafts hadn't changed one bit, and said that the Klingons lacked imagination. The Nagus' shuttle contained the alternate Kirk, Smiley, Dax and Peter. Peter thought it might be a good idea for the alternates to disguise themselves as their counterparts, in order to have a better chance of apprehending Intendant Kira. Of course, they also considered the intendant probably had the same idea. Peter then considered that this would probably create a lot of confusion.
"I hear I'm married on this side." Smiley said. "I wonder what my wife is like."
"She's not 'your' wife, Smiley." Dax reminded him coolly. "You two are here for one reason and one reason only—to track down your Kira. Any monkey business with Keiko and I'll make sure you get back to your own side in many little boxes. Got it?"
"Of course," Smiley responded, knowing that that was just a bluff. "I was just trying to make conversation."
"Do you think I'll be meeting my milk toast counterpart?" The alternate Kirk asked.
"Possibly, if the Nexus let him go the same way your Nexus did."
Peter then smiled, glad that the telepathic Andorian wasn't here to repeat what he was about to say.
"James Kirk is many things, but he was never milk toast."
"You did say many times, though, Pete, that he was a Denebian slime devil." Dax joked.
Both Smiley and the alternate Kirk laughed. The jest lightened the atmosphere considerably, and Peter and Dax felt more comfortable with their alternate "companions".
"We are approaching the station." Dax said. "Kirk and Smiley, it would be within your best interests to keep your mouths shut until we are docked."
"Agreed," Smiley said. "If our intendant is listening, she will know we are here to get her."
***
At first, Intendant Kira had materialized on her personal shuttle. She planned to hide out on Bajor, but then thought better of it. She used Smiley's device to go into the other universe to lay low for a while, setting it for her counterpart's quarters. Unknown to everyone, the intendant had learned the secret of their Captain Kirk's success, the infamous Tantalus Device. Through the years as intendant, she had perfected it, making it smaller and portable. She took it with her when she went to the other side.
She knew that eventually someone would come after her. She planned to use the device on whoever did, even if that someone was the great Captain Kirk. To her, it was kill or be killed. She also took a hand phaser with her for good measure.
The intendant materialized right in front of the major, just as she was about to go on duty.
"You again!" The major hissed with disgust. "What is it this time? Did you tire of your Bariel this quickly?"
"No, sweetheart. I have to take your place for a while."
Before the major could respond, the intendant stunned her.
***
"Ferengi shuttle," The intendant said calmly in her best Major Kira imitation. "You may dock on upper pylon three."
"Acknowledged, Major." Responded the voice of Peter Kirk, obviously the best person to answer. However, the intendant knew that there were other occupants on the shuttle, and that Peter just came back from her universe. These people in this universe had been searching for him for well over a day. She could see the relief on their faces when they heard his voice.
"Mr. Kirk," Captain Sisko asked, "Is Jadzia with you?"
"Yes, sir." Answered Peter. "We just came back from the alternate universe. I don't know about Jadzia, but I'm awfully glad to be here."
Sisko smiled. "Your uncle is here, Peter. He escaped from the Nexus and wishes to speak with you."
Peter's expression turned stormy. "Does he now? Well, I don't want to talk to him!"
"Peter…" Dax admonished softly. "Maybe he wants to apologize for making you go through what you did. Give him a chance."