Usagi: before we start I'd like to add something I didn't have time to add last time (in fear of loosing internet connection I submitted the chapter before checking this) GlaDOS stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. And as you might have guessed already is from the game Portal, which I obviously never played as I'm not really a fan of those types of games (and for anyone who says I should try: as long as I have JRPGs and Super Smash Brawl I don't care!)… but I watched her voice clips on YouTube and decided to throw her in for comic relief.

The cake too is used as a rather random plot-device in this chapter as something quite interesting is revealed about Shadow-Ienzo…

Chapter 17

The Cake is Not a Lie

Vexen's lab didn't really look as sterile as one might have thought. It was burnt marks on the walls everywhere and quite a few pieces of junk lying around.

He had several computer screens in his lab, about half of them showed cakes.

Vexen stared at the screens. "GlaDOS!" he yelled.

"Sorry sir" the computer said, and soon the cakes disappeared and were replaced with various tables and forms.

"Just hope she locked away those cakes she made herself… how a PC can bake cakes is beyond me but we'd rather not want Ienzo to find them" Vexen said.

"Why not?" Kairi asked.

"Oh…well, you see…" Vexen started but got cut of as a crash noise was heard.

"Great job Vexen, you just jinxed it" Zexion said.

Suddenly Ienzo the shadow came zooming in from another room, face all covered in cream, crashed into one of the screens before running of to a different room, probably to find more cake.

"So…he's…hyperactive?" Sora asked.

"Yes, ironic isn't it?" Vexen said. "He's always been like that; no one could bring snacks to work in case he found them."

"You're exaggerating, I wasn't THAT bad" Zexion muttered.

"I'd still like to see that" Axel said grinning.

"Later, right now we have to catch that shadow!" Riku said.

"Shouldn't be too hard as long as he stays inside" Vexen said.

They followed the trail of cream on the ground to the open exit door.

"Who opened that?" Vexen asked.

"He stole my cake!" GlaDOS whined. "So I chased him out".

"I am so taking that computer apart" Vexen said, slapping his face. "And shadows are faster than they look, especially the ones hyped up on sugar. Now how are we going to catch him?"

Cornelius grinned.

"It would be too far to go get the flut fluts, it would take us hours to walk to the farm from here" Tanya complained. "Not to mentioned there's still quite a few heartless and metalheads around.

"Who said anything about walking?" Cornelius said and whistled.

Within seconds, not one but three large birds came running above the sandy hills.

The first, a blue and yellow bird with plenty of yellow spots around the tail and wings, the party recognized as Cornelius' own flut-flut Spot.

The second was nearly all blue, except a yellow patch on the back and white belly, was the leader of the flut-flut herd Phoenix.

The last one to arrive was covered in both yellow and a few green markings, including a flower-like mark on her wings, it was Blossom.

"Aw cute, it's like a whole family" Kairi said.

"Not quite" Cornelius said. "Spot's been breaking out a lot before, and recently Phoenix has started to follow him, and now Blossom has started to follow Phoenix. If their egg had feet it would probably follow too" he added rolling his eyes.

Kairi stared at him.

"Don't get so exited, it won't hatch in weeks yet" Cornelius said.

"Regardless, at least we have some fast legs to catch that hyper big brother of yours" Riku said and climbed up on Phoenix's back. "Just too bad there aren't enough birds for everyone.

"I'm sure Charles would start complaining if the whole lot ran of sometimes" Cornelius said. "Most of them aren't that fit for life in the wild without Phoenix protecting them…and he can't protect them all".

"Well since Riku already seems to have dibs on Phoenix Kairi should take Blossom" Sora said. "He's your brother after all; Zexion could ride with either one of you since he's a cat".

"Sure rub it in" Zexion said.

"Well it's the truth Fluffy, accept it" Axel said, and got bitten.

"Stop that you two, are you sure you are my older brother?" Kairi asked as she picked up Zexion and placed him on Blossom's back.

"I hope those birds are fast, since that shadow looked like he had been drinking rocket fuel" Vexen said.

"That wouldn't surprise me if he did" Sora muttered.

"Oh they're fast alright" Cornelius said, he'd already climbed up on Spot's back. "We'll be back with the little rascal before you know it."

Before anyone had time to argue about that Spot and Cornelius were already far off.

"He wasn't kidding, come on Kairi, we better catch up to him, as he's the only one who knows the way around in this desert" Riku said.

The other riders took of, Phoenix seemed to be running a bit faster than necessary in order to catch up to his friends…or perhaps he just wanted to pass him.

The two male birds even seemed like flut-flut versions of Riku and Sora.

"So now what? We're just going to wait?" Axel asked.

Before anyone had even time to answer, Kyuubi flew out of the door, suddenly increasing in size just as he came out before reaching his full size, at which point he stopped and glared out into the desert.

"What's wrong with you?" Sora asked.

"Heartless" Kyuubi growled.

"Well yeah. Sorry to break this to you but there's heartless everywhere, heck this desert crawls with them" Vexen said.

"This isn't an ordinary heartless" Kyuubi said. "It reeks of that dofus who turned me into this."

"The dofus who…oh snap!" Demyx said before suddenly running back inside.

"What was that all about?" Vexen asked.

"He's Demyx, what did you expect?" Axel asked.

"That was odd even for Demyx…" Vexen said.

"You might want to see this for yourself, is he far away?" Sora asked Kyuubi.

"Not too far, if you have four meter long legs that is" Kyuubi said. "But hey, hop on, you're not much heavier than the fleas I had last month anyway."

"I hope you got rid of all those then" Axel joked. "Since I'd hate to get eaten by one".

"Most fleas aren't fireproof" Kyuubi remarked, as Sora, Vexen and Axel crawled up on his back. "And if you feel like pulling in my fur while we are there I'd like to remind you, neither are you".

Before anyone had time to object, the monster fox took of, running at such speeds it was nearly impossible NOT to pull out fur, if it wasn't for the fact that Kyuubi's fur was very strong, hopefully he didn't even feel it if he lost some.

Eventually they stopped at a barren desert landscape (which looked noticeably just like any other place in the desert).

"Are you sure this is the right place? I mean Deym is a water-user, what good could he do here?" Axel asked.

"Anything with water gives you trouble" Sora reminded him.

"True…a pity my heartless isn't around, if it was I'd probably be able to beat him" Axel sighed.

"Do you know what kind of heartless it is?" Vexen asked.

"Ehm… Crimson Jazz I think" Axel said.

"Really… you might want to turn around" Vexen said.

Axel turned his head, and surprisingly enough there was a crimson jazz standing just behind him, staring at him.

"It wouldn't happen to be that one is it?" Sora asked.

"Well what do you know…it is" Axel said.

"Huh…that was incredibly easy" Sora said.

"Either that or it proves the Author is just plain lazy" Axel said before suddenly a coconut fell of the only tree within a mile distance on his head. "And I really wish she'd stop breaking the fourth wall."

"You kind of started that yourself. Now where is Deym?" Sora asked, directing the last question at Kyuubi.

"He's near aright" Kyuubi growled. "Knowing him he's probably sun-bathing somewhere".

They started looking around, it wasn't much places to hide it being in the desert and all, and soon they spotted the heartless…truthfully lying behind a rock sunbathing. (Though still wearing the black cloak).

He lifted his sunglasses a bit as he noticed he wasn't alone.

"Well times haven't changed…still can't get a moment of peace even in the middle of the desert" Deym sighed. "Do you guys want to get beaten up so badly?"

"I should ask you the same thing, this isn't really your element" Sora said. "Now what are you doing here?"

"Why geez, can't a heartless just take a break sometimes?" Deym asked grinning.

"We've been trhough this before and I think we decided the answer was no" Sora said. "So I ask again: Why are you here? In the desert? I thought you'd be hanging out with your new friends".

"Friends? Don't make me laugh! The shark guy might be bearable if he wasn't a demon, I've had some bad experiences with them betraying me" Deym said, casting a glare at Kyuubi. "And don't even get me STARTED on Xehanort, he thinks he's so great with his big plans for the heartless and nobodies and all, I don't want any part of that."

"Wait…what plans?" Sora asked.

"I guess you'd like to know" Deym said, grinning again. "You're just your average ordinary everyday superhero, trying to save the world but never really sure what the villains are up to…say where's beaver-boy?"
"We'll tell you if you told us what Xehanort's plan is" Axel suggested.

"Oh…heck why am I asking…he's back at the base quivering and hiding from me while that crazy computer of yours tries to tempt him out from under the table by offering him some cake" Deym said.

"How do you know?" Vexen asked.

"Because he's my nobody, duh. You have to come up with a better excuse if you want to figure out what the big plan is" the heartless added.

"What about: Tell me and I won't beat you up and destroy another one of your "precious" guitars?" Sora suggested, drawing the Oathkeeper.

"Oh I'll show…" Deym said, and looked about ready to summon his water dragon…but there was no reaction. "Oh snap… Sorry kid, gotta save the fighting to some other time."

"Aw come on!" Sora said.

"Fine then. Its not like I'm loosing anything by telling you…unless Xehanort found out… He's making some kind of new super-heartless or something, and if Xehanort asks who told you it wasn't me, okay?" Deym said.

"Fine, we're not on speaking terms anyway. But what kind of super heartless?" Sora asked.

Deym started laughing, a rather sinister sounding laugh as well.

"Trust me kid, you don't want to know" he said. "I would ask you to ask the little firecracker over there, I'm pretty sure he sent it, but it probably wouldn't understand it if anyone tried to explain such a plan anyway." Deym opened a dark portal and was about to walk trhough.

"Hey! Don't try to run away!" Sora yelled after him.

"Sorry, can't stay. There is a race to be run and a song to be sung. But you'll find out soon enough, the future's coming fast Keyblade Master" Deym said soon before disappearing into the darkness.

Sora stared at the spot where the heartless had just been standing.

"What did he mean by that? And why did he say I wouldn't want to know?" he said eventually.

"For once I am just as confused as you are" Vexen said. "But I don't like the sound of it."

Usagi: THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!

Sora: WHAT SUSPENSE? YOU WROTE IT!

Usagi: true… and what suspense it is… (Grins at Sora)

Sora: I really hate it when she does that.

Usagi: I gave of more than I planned to in this chapter… one reason was to make Ael's appearance less awkward…even though the original idea was in fact just to have him show up with no explanation…

Axel: HAH! I knew you were lazy! (Coconut falls in his head).

Usagi: be glad I put your heartless in the story, without him you won't have a chance of getting your heart back.

Axel: Oh I don't worry, being around Roxas makes me feel almost as if I have a heart.

Everyone: (Gazes at Axel)

Axel: what?

Usagi: still people wonder why AkuRoku is such a popular pairing.

Roxas: (Jumps out of a nearby cardboard box) DON'T YOU DARE!

Sora: why are you still here?

Usagi: Don't worry! There'll be no Yaoi in this fanfic, so Axel, watch your mouth.

Roxas: thank god…

Axel: I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!

Usagi: STILL YOU'RE GIVING FANGIRLS THE WRONG IDEA!

Riku: in other words: You're putting strange ideas into Usagi's head which everyone knows is BAD. With capital B, A, and D.

Usagi: send in a review! Or else Mao will do strange experiments on you!

Sora: who the heck is Mao?

Usagi: You'll find out in LiD3.

Sora: you meanie!

Almaz: (Comes out of same box as Roxas) You don't want to know who he is.

Mao: (Also comes up from the box, pushing Almaz out of the way) Did anyone say my name?

Flonne: (comes out of the box too, pushing both Almaz and Mao to different sides) DISGAEA RULES!

Demyx: aw snap…now there are more of them.

Usagi: don't worry. Almaz is not a demon, Mao however is, and a rather crazy demon too.

Mao: hey!

Usagi: ...Crazily awesome.

Mao: (glare)

Usagi: oh whatever.