He felt different. Lighter, somehow...more like the person he'd been. Whether that was due to the shower earlier, his confession, or even the haircut he wasn't sure, but it felt pretty good. Because I'm not alone. Whatever I did, however long I was away, she'd be there for me.. He stroked the drowsy woman's hair, grinning when she murmured something he couldn't make out. But he didn't intend to ever leave her again...from now on, wherever she went he'd be beside her. He owed her more than he'd ever be able to repay - all he could do was give her the life she deserved. Second chances shouldn't be wasted.

"We should get up.."

"Why?"

She crinkled her nose. "Cause I was s'posed to go on shift an hour ago.."

"I bet you no-one minds."

"I mind.." But she didn't seem in a hurry to go anywhere, instead snuggling back against his chest and closing her eyes. "People will talk.."

He chuckled. "And say what? Everyone knew before that we were together."

"Still.."

"If you want to get up, then get up. I'm not stopping you."

"Nn."

"What? I don't have anywhere to go, so I'm not getting up. If you want to, then go ahead."

Murrue huffed, tugging the covers over her head. "Jerk."

"I love you too."

She peeked up at him at those words, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. "That's the first time you've told me that since you came back. Not that I thought you didn't, but it's nice to hear it." Placing her hands on his shoulders she shuffled up to kiss him lightly. "Thank you."

He grinned. "Any time." Things like that had become easier to say, somehow. It wouldn't be so easy around those who'd been his friends, but Murrue... She never blamed me, or even let me blame myself. She accepted everything I am and became without even hesitating. She's amazing. Running a hand through her hair he brought her closer for another kiss, smiling into the exchange when he felt fingertips tracing the scars on his chest. He'd let her see everything, despite an odd nervousness, and she'd seemed to appreciate it, though the little frown she wore sometimes made him wonder if she didn't still blame herself for her injuries.

"Murrue?"

"Mmm?"

"You don't mind the scars, do you?"

She smiled, ducking down to kiss the one on his shoulder. "I like them. They're part of who you are....how could I mind them?"

"Even though I got them being dumb?"

"You got them by being brave, not dumb." Settling close she rested her head in the crook of his neck. "There's a difference."

"If you say so."

"You don't think there is?"

"No, I'm fairly sure there is, but I think what I did was dumb. Selfish, really."

Murrue frowned. "Why selfish?"

"Because it was all for my benefit. I did it because I couldn't face the idea of carrying on without you."

For a moment she didn't answer, then he felt a light thump to his chest. "Idiot."

"I know. Sorry. I hadn't realised how selfish feelings like that make you."

She propped herself up on an elbow and poked him in the nose. "And that's how you know they're real."

"I hadn't thought of it that way.."

"Good job I'm around to put things in perspective." Leaning close she kissed him before climbing from the bed and searching for clean clothes. "C'mon now, you'd better get dressed."

"Why?"

"Well, you can't go out there like that, can you? I have something to show you."

Grudgingly he climbed out of bed and trudged over to where she'd left his new uniform, stopping halfway to appreciate the view as she bent down.

"Eyes to yourself."

He grinned. "You're mean."

"You'll get over it."

"Probably." Amused, he made his way to the neat pile and shook out the jacket, noting with a smile that it was just his size, the undershirt purple - typical thoroughness from Murrue. The uniform itself was the same bluish-purple and white as hers, much brighter and smarter than the black Alliance one he'd worn, which was now tossed carelessly over a chair.

"Do you like it better than the other?"

"Yeah. Never understood why I had to wear black anyway." He picked up the old jacket and gazed at it a while. "I guess it was part of making me someone else." Murrue nodded slowly then smiled, taking the garment from him and slipping it on over her red undershirt, bringing the too-large collar close to breathe in what he supposed was his scent (he had no idea what that smelled like, but since he loved the way she smelled he supposed it must be all right). He'd hated it, viewing it as a symbol of everything they'd tried to make him, but somehow her wearing it made it seem benign, just a jacket again, and he appreciated that. Ruffling her hair fondly he got dressed, rolling up the sleeves of the jacket and unzipping the collar just as he always had. "I feel like me again."

"You look more like yourself," she admitted, removing the black jacket and placing on a hangar in her closet. Why she wanted to keep it was beyond him, but then again he'd never entirely understood how her mind worked. She can always keep me guessing..

"Where are we going, anyway?"

She smiled. "The hangar bay."

He'd changed. Not totally, and not so you couldn't see the melancholy he still carried, but he seemed much more like the Mwu she'd known. He looked happier, more at ease with himself, which was exactly what she'd hoped for. He needed to be forgiven, needed to know he was still loved, which of course he is. He never needed to worry. Reaching down she took his hand and squeezed gently, smiling as he peeked up at her through the mop of messy hair. Things might not ever be quite the way they used to be, but this was a good start.

"You don't have to worry."

"Who's worried?"

She raised an eyebrow and he sighed, shaking his head. "Sometimes I wish you didn't know me so well."

"It's going to be fine. You're amongst friends."

"That'll whisper to each other about me when I walk past?"

Murrue leaned close to kiss his cheek. "Those who do aren't real friends. Do you think Kira-kun, Murdoch-san and I would ever do anything like that?"

"No." he admitted softly. "No, I know you wouldn't. It's hard to persuade myself that I don't deserve it though.."

"Mwu.."

"M'sorry. You don't need to hear this."

She moved to face him, winding arms around him in a hug he gratefully returned. "Don't you ever think that. If you're worried, then tell me. If you need to talk, then I'll listen. Haven't I always?"

"You have." He smiled, genuinely, and hugged her so tight she could hardly breathe, but she didn't pull away. "Thank you."

She just smiled, closing her eyes and enjoying the embrace. This was all the thanks she needed. When he eventually let her go she shook her head fondly, reaching up to tweak his nose. "Come on, let's get going."

The hangar bay was quiet this late in the morning, just a few technicians working on suits and Murdoch discussing something she couldn't quite hear with Kira-kun and Amagi-san. Mwu smiled a little to see his friends, glancing up at her as though to ask permission.

"There's something I want to show you first." Taking his hand she led him over to the far corner of the cavernous room, gesturing to the little fleet parked there. "Take a look at those and tell me what you think."

Still looking back at the others he took a cursory peek at the waiting machines - then stared, blue eyes wide. Hiding a smile she kept quiet, waiting for him to say something. And she wasn't disappointed.

"What are they?"

"Do you like them?"

He nodded, grinning brightly, and fairly ran over to the machines to look them over more closely. She'd had an inkling that he'd like the Murasames....they were perfect for him. Erica had known it, which was why she'd given her the final say on the design. It was like a tribute to him. A way of saying thank you that would mean more than words could ever say. "They're called Murasame."

"Where are they from? Did Orb make them?"

"That's right. Morgenroete was rebuilt not long after the first war ended - a lot of us work there."

"Do you work there?"

"Mmm-hmm. Shipbuilding section B."

He chuckled. "Perfect job for you. So Director Simmons and the others made these?"

"We all had a hand in them, but yes. They're transformable, so they can be deployed in fighter mode further away from the battlefield than the Astrays and switch to mobile suit mode when they get there." She watched his face for his reaction to this and had real trouble stifling laughter at his obvious delight. "Yes, I thought you'd like that. You can have a look round them but don't touch - they don't belong to this ship." Leaving him to it she walked back to join Kira-kun and the others, who had all watched the exchange.

"He likes them," the boy commented with a grin. "I knew he would."

"I thought it might help him. He's more like himself now but he's still nervous around people - he's expecting to be judged pretty harshly for what he was made to do."

"Who is he?" Amagi-san was watching Mwu's exploration of the Murasame fleet with a mixture of curiosity and alarm. "I don't remember seeing him before."

Kira-kun grinned. "You might not have met him before, but you've probably heard of the Hawk of Endymion, right?"

The older man blinked. "That's him? But I'd heard he was killed back at the battle of Jachin Due.."

"That's what everyone thought," replied Murrue softly, glancing back at the man. "It's a long story, and one that doesn't get any better with the telling, but we found him back in Berlin."

Amagi-san nodded, a faint smile creeping onto his face. "A lot of the Astray pilots who came back from that battle spoke very highly of him. If he ever wanted to fly with us, he'd just have to ask."

"Thank you very much."

Murdoch laughed. "Hope he's not out of practice."

"There's always the simulator."

"True," Murrue tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But I still don't want one of those going out into battle. I want to get them and their pilots home to Orb safely."

Kira-kun smiled a little. "That ZAFT ship's still looking for us. If we make it to the ocean before they catch us, then it's all well and good, but if we don't, you know Mwu-san's going to want to go out and fight."

"Yes, I know. And while I'd rather he stayed here where I could keep an eye on him, I can't say it wouldn't be good for him. I think he has this idea that he needs to atone for the things he did."

Amagi-san smiled. "He can take mine if he wants to."

"No. Not one of those."

"What about Commander Bartfeld's?" Murdoch offered. "A Murasame that actually belongs to this ship? I'm sure he wouldn't mind the Commander using it."

"That's true. We'll see what happens."

As she'd expected (and dreaded) Kira-kun was right. When she went back over to check on Mwu he asked her right away. "Can I fly one of these if we end up in a battle?"

"No, not these. They belong to a ship that was sunk by ZAFT - I promised myself I'd get them back to Orb safely. If you really want to fly, then you can take that one as long as you bring it back in one piece. And practice on the simulator first."

"Which one?" He followed her gaze eagerly - then his face fell. "That one? The one with the weird paintjob?"

She smiled. "I don't think Commander Bartfeld would like you calling it 'weird'. He's quite proud of it."

"That belongs to the Tiger guy? He came back to Orb with you?"

"Both he and Lacus-san did. Commander Bartfeld worked with us at Morgenroete, and he and I were housemates for a while."

Mwu frowned slightly. "You lived with him?"

"I did. It made sense. He lived close to the complex, his house was too big for just one person and besides.." She shrugged. "He lost someone too, so he knew how I was feeling."

"Murrue.."

"It's alright. Nothing happened, or ever would have."

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean.." He hugged her gently. "Sorry. All that's happened and I'm still acting this way."

"And that's okay."

"Why is it okay? If I'm being a jerk then tell me."

She smiled. "You haven't been. Being insecure doesn't make you a jerk."

He smiled himself, rather lopsidedly. "You don't have to be so nice about it.."

"You need someone to be nice about it." Standing on her tiptoes she kissed him lightly. "For however long it takes."

"But how do I repay you?"

"Mwu, you're here. That's all I need."

He looked different. Not just because of the scars and longer hair, but something else in the face, in the eyes. When he was with Murrue-san he seemed more or less his old self, but after she'd left the hangar to go on shift he looked lost. She mentioned he's nervous around people... Replacing the tools he'd been using to work on Freedom Kira walked across to his friend. "Mwu-san?"

The older man smiled a little. "Hey, kid. How's it going?"

"Well enough. Are things okay with you and Murrue-san?"

He nodded, leaning against one of the Murasames. "She hasn't changed. I told her everything and she still smiled. I don't know why.."

"Because she loves you. That's never changed, not even after all that time - in fact I think her feelings only got stronger."

"Even though she lived with the Tiger?"

Kira smiled. "Bartfeld-san's been a good friend to her. The first few months after the end of the war were pretty tough for her, and none of us wanted her to be alone with that. Living with someone else helped her a lot."

"How does he feel about her?"

"You know Murrue-san. She sort of draws people to her. He cares about her, but I'm not sure how much." A white lie, but the true answer would be better coming from Bartfeld-san himself. Mwu-san seemed to understand that, scarred face pensive, and Kira sighed. "You don't have anything to worry about. Not about being judged - the ones who might are those who don't know you or are misinformed somehow - or about Murrue-san's feelings."

"Easier said than done," his friend commented wryly. "But thanks. For that, and for helping me get back here. I owe you one. Though I still don't know how you knew I was there."

"I don't know either. I just sort of did." Kira shrugged. "Glad I did though."

"No kidding.." The older man ran a hand through overlong hair, then glanced back as something occurred to him. "That ZAFT ship that was at Berlin - what happened to it?"

"Minerva? Still out there. We've poked our noses into a lot of their battles with the Alliance to try and get them to quit fighting each other, but we just succeeded in making ourselves their enemy. Milly's picked up a signal following us - all we can do is try and make it to the ocean before they catch us."

Mwu-san frowned. "How will that help?"

"Murrue-san and Simmons-san had a few modifications done to Archangel in the time we were in Orb - the ship can go underwater now."

A low whistle. "Nice. If they do catch us, then I'll go out in Tiger's Murasame thing. He borrowed my girlfriend, so it seems kinda fair I borrow his plane. It has a terrible paint job but it seems well put together. Morgenroete do good work."

"They do. Simmons-san and her design team were working for at least two months on the plans before they even started - but Murrue-san was the one who came up with the idea."

His friend blinked. "Murrue did? But she said something about shipbuilding.."

"That's where she worked, yes, in charge of section B, but she and Simmons-san are good friends. I think they were having lunch together or something...I don't know the details. You'll have to ask her."

"I will." Mwu-san smiled. "Thanks, kid."

"No problem." A little perspective was all he needed. To the ones he knew and those who knew him, he's the same person he was before. He just went through a lot. And how many of us haven't? "Did you pilot a lot with the Alliance?"

"Not much, no. I had my own mobile suit, but they kept me on a pretty tight rein while I was using it. Most of the time I was on board ship. I'm a bit out of practice.."

"Want a go on the simulator? Bet I can beat you."

Mwu-san raised an eyebrow. "Is that right? You think you've gotten that good?"

Kira grinned, enjoying the banter. "Yep. And I can prove it."

"Do your worst."

Things were getting back to normal.

( Nothingmuch chapter. The battle is next - if I put it at the end of this it'd just look tacked-on, which is no good. Plus I can really focus on it then.

please read and review! )