((I didnt talk to the guy, but he kept looking at me. Well, seems I will always stay a weakling. Also, thanks to the person who took the time to actually reply to me about the confession. It was sweet of you, thanks. I didnt drink either way, cause I forgot my money home, so I guess your advice was bound to work, either way, right? Haha xD
Yeah getting back to the story, Xd. I am glad you enjoyed my former cheesy chapter and thanks for all the nice reviews. Too much drama following, hope it is ok. Maybe some of you wont like it, but I like such stuff and I have a tendency for it in stories so here you go. Xd
Hope you dont mind much, love, the author!))
Chapter 8: A Pointless Heartbreak
Sakura looked at Sasuke, with tears of endless pain in her eyes.
Rolled down, fell on the floor, dead and cold, poisoned little betrayed rivers of hurt love.
All the feelings passed through her right then, rejection, pain, abandon, betrayal, loss, kill kill kill, massacre, his always cold and indifferent attitude, which sheltered his cruel revenge to Konoha.
Sakura fell on her knees, and now she remembered of all that they had done the two last days, the love they made so passionately, the kissing scenes, the loving moves, the tender gestures…mixed with all of the sad, bitter, cruel past memories of an inhuman ruthless Sasuke. And all was messing with her head now, toying with her fragile heart that had suffered so much for so long.
It all came back slowly to her memory by memory bit by bit, in her sleep and she was living the massacre nightmare over and over again, not being able to force herself to wake up.
And all that came to her mind, when the cruel past crashed when it came in comparison to the sweet recent present of theirs, was that Sasuke had only lured her and took advantage of her memory loss to sex her and fufill his manly hormones. Didnt that make sense, those two alone, blocked in the mountains?
And now she felt her head hurting, her mind twisting around her tragedy like fate.
She felt the old hatred for him rushing back inside her but this time it was a confused hatred, it wasnt a determined one, all the recent moments with him came now to play with her thoughts in a sadistic way.
Love and hatred collided in her, pain, hurt, confusion. Mostly confusion and a suspicious mind that it was so much afraid of a heart getting hurt that it gave in so illogically to any negative thoughts it came up with.
She hid her face in her hands, crying like there was no tomorrow.
''How sad I am…How sad…how sad…''she kept muttering between her violent sobs.
Sasuke frowned sad looking at her, speechless. The memories seemed to have done her way more bad than he counted they would have done to her.
He ran next to her and leaned on his knees, placing his hands on her shoulders lovingly.
''Sakura, please, dont cry. Calm down, just listen to me.''he said shaking her as the pain seemed to have taken her mind away completely and her stare had the same blank touch it had when he had seen her for the first time in the dungeons.
''Sakura…''he sighed worried as in the calling of her name she snapped out and looked at him in hatred, slapping his hands with fury and hatred away. She stood up as Sasuke stepped back in awkwardness.
He let his glare on hers stable.
''How do you dare look at me??!!!You jerk!!!''she said and she took on hitting him with her fists on his chest and kicking his knees and legs.
''I hate you!!!I hate you so much|!You are a monster with no heart. Here you fucked me too!!Is your revenge complete now? Did you ruin every last bit of your old Konoha?Or do you expect me to guide you to Naruto, huh? I am not. I will kill myself trying to kill you, you ass!!!''she started yelling, tears falling uncontrollably from her eyes.
He grabbed her wrists and forced her to cease her weak attacks, applying force to her.
He was calm., trying to hide his inner storm.
''I am sorry. You can hit me and hate me all you want, I deserve every bit of it. But I want you to know that I never intended on capturing Naruto and all that which happened between us was heart felt by my side.''he said as he watched Sakura's face getting angrier and angrier.
She kicked his hands away and hissed.
''And why should I believe you, you jerk???Huh?!!!You liar!!!You pathetic scum of a liar!!!
You felt like the betrayal, the abandonment wasnt good enough and you thought you would even fuck your little whore so you can feel totally in control, didnt you? Such a nice way to take advantage of my feelings and my accident to lead me in your sick desires.''she said trying to slap him but her hands slapped the air as he moved away from her.
She caught up and grabbed his shirt, tigthening her grip so much around it that her knuckles were red to the point of bleeding.
''You are disgusting..''she spitted in a calm voice this time, but it was full of hatred and irony.
Sasuke looked at her, trying to swallow hard and hide his hurt expression, his eyes fighting to hold back the escaping tears that couldnt wait anymore.
He pushed her hand away from his shirt and turned his back on her.
''We will talk about it when you calm down.''he said calmly and started walking to the entrance of the cave which made Sakura even more angry.
She ran after him and he turned to dodge any new possible attacks by her.
She raised a brow in emotional pain and irony, her eyes stabbing him whole.
''I'd hate me too, if I were you but …''he paused.
''But what?''she asked.
''I will tell you what.''she continued.
SLAP
Her hand slammed against his cheek making him wince in slight pain, even if she had put all her strenght in it, her feelings giving her the motivation.
''This is for leaving even caring for all my love and devotion, my desperate efforts to stop you and keep you with me, to help you with your plans!''she said, tears of anger and misery ran down her cheeks.
''Sakur…''his glare calm, avoiding to look at her.
SLAP
''No Sakura for you! This is for betraying me and team 7 and all of your own village, your own home, Konoha!You are but a disgusting traitor!''she said, feeling her hand aching from the powerful handful on his other cheek.
He just looked at her, sure this would go on. He chose to take it, if she wanted to let it out, he was willing to help her. Besides, it was more just humiliating what she did to him than painful.
SLAP
''This is for uniting with Orochimaru against Konoha, and killing your own friends.''she said and clenched her teeth at his calm glare that only made her more confused and mad.
''I think you already know I didnt lay my blade to death to any of the Konoha citizens or ninjas.''he said, feeling the need to emphasize that,
which was kind of funny in a situation like this.
SLAP
''Shut up!''she yelled.
''This is for taking advantage of me, and spoiling me for life with your perverted plans!''
''I didn't…''
SLAP
''This is for being a damn assed, cold hearted, calculative, hating jerk, that knows nothing about love and values and steps over anyone and anything to get what he wants.
I pity you, Sasuke, I really do, cause your motives were always cheap ones, that were never worth of your efforts. Even your brother, which you killed, you learnt he was a hero of Konoha later on, but that still didnt change you in a better person.
I hate, I hate what you are, trully.''she said and with that she walked away and hid her face in the wall, as her tears wouldnt stop their angsty flow.
Sasuke felt his cheeks getting red from the slaps, by those little pale hands which he loved so much and now she painfully had turned against him.
But he couldnt find it in him to blame her. He knew she was right about everything. Except for the sex part but that was another story and he was hoping she would let him explaint o her later on.
Sakura trembled very harshly now as Sasuke looked shocked at her.
He was afraid for her emotional state and wished he could be someone else for the time being, to run to her side and comfort her without her pushing him away.
He walked over to her and knelt down, sitting next to her, as she had hid her face in her knees and was sobbing loudly, he wrapped his arms around her, and she tried to push him maniacally away but he held tight against her and she finally was forced to give in.
''Dont touch me, you pig!''she said, chocking in her own sobs.
''I wont let you go through this alone. No matter how much you hate me, I dont, and I cant stand seeing you like that cause you mean so much to me.''he said and his voice sounded broken, like he was in the edge of tears.
''Dont dare lie to me, you jerk!!!''she said biting his hands and forcing him to let her free.
She got up and pushed him hard on the wall, then run outside to stay alone, to go away and hide till she could calm down.
He fell backwards, hitting his head hard on the wall. He got back up but chose to sit down , holding his head.
She needed to be left alone and obviously he wasnt too well emotionally either to go after her to pamper her. He was ready to break, for the first time in his life after his family had been murdered, he wanted to lean to the side and let all his tears fall like a coward.
He rested his head on his knee, and let his tears roll down slowly, as his eyes were now blank, realising all the pain he had caused to her.
He wished he could take it all back, but he couldnt.
And her words, even if he had chosen to ignore them till now, this time he just couldnt avoid thinking of them and feeling regrets for the person he had turned into.
There went his piece of heaven, his little sweet cute cherry blossom wouldnt stand anymore by his side. And none could blame her.
Sakura ran out and kept running until she reached a small cliff and climbed it, and then went on a tree with thick branches and let all of her tears fall again, as her sobs and moans were so load that she scared all the birds around and made them fly away.
She couldnt believe this was happening to her.
Why did her fate make her suffer all the time? The one person she ever loved unconditionally hurt her endlessly at the end. And now she felt like a traitor herself. She had give her love to the traitor, she had even let him enter her roughly like some whore and gave in his lustful desires with no second thought.
Oh how much she hated herself now,as well.
After some two hours of being alone and thinking of everything over and over again, she resulted that the only person she did deserve to hate was herself. Sasuke had a bad character, he would never change. And she secretly always knew that but didnt want to give up on her love on him.
So it was all her fault for being so stubborn that she got that hurt in the end. He was a beast with no heart, so hating and clinging over him had no point, as such people deserve mere ignorance. No, hating him would be way too much of a big gift to him.
But she was so confused in the same time. All the sweet things he did for her, the way he didnt actually lie to her when she had lost her memory, it all seemed like he might care for her.
But everything else before that pointed to the exact opposite. So why shouldnt she just believe he only wanted to fulfil his needs with her? She could be selfish for one time, he had always been. So for one damn time she could choose to accuse him , and not let it easy on him again, as he never deserved it.
She finally got up and with slow steps she got back to the cave.
She would die trying to escape but it really somehow didnt matter to her anymore, not until she could recover more than the recent episode.
She walked back in and saw him looking at her, sad, his left hand poking the fire, silent.
She gave him a pissed glare and walked over to the other side of the fire.
''So you wanted to talk to me?''she said thinking of a way to get inside his mind of what he planned to do with her. If she wanted to escape, she needed to get rid of him first. And running away like that wouldnt help her, since the roads were still snow blocked around them.
''Yes.''he said looking up at her, with a glimpse of hope in his eyes.
She didnt sit down. She kept looking at him, ice cold glare.
''I am hearing, arent I?''she said in full sarcasm.
Sasuke sighed and looked slowly back at her.
''I love you.'' He said.
Sakura's face turned red from her irritation and Sasuke noticing it retook talking.
''I know you dont believe me, but you are the only reason I thought I could keep on living for. You are my lost innocense, my lost last happy days in Konoha, my only piece of serenity in my revengeful life.''he looked back down, hiding a sob.
''The Konoha you ruined?''she asked, smirking in hurt.
''Yes, that one.''he said, bowing his head in surrender.
''I am all that you said I was, and I am sorry for this.
I now regret that I never listened to you or to team 7, and my revenge hasnt made me a better person.''he said, pausing as his regrets felt too real and painful for him to handle.
''Like I care, how you feel?You are lying, either to say you admit them.''she hissed and rose her head in pride, walking away, turning her back to him.
He watched in anxiety as she walked away and began shutting her doors down again to him and he got up and ran after her.
She hadnt realised it. He reached up and dragged her in his arms, pressing her tightly against him, as she turned to face him in his own arms.
''Please, dont leave me. Everything I said is true.''he said before he pulled her into a
Kiss.
She pushed him away, disgusted.
She rose her fist to him.
''Dont you dare touch me again.''she said as she withdrew her hand to swip away her wet from his kiss lips.
He let his glare fall on the ground, not feeling strong enough anymore to make her see.
But it tore him apart to let her believe that he had used her. For all the rest he was to blame, but sadly it was past and he couldnt change it.
''You are free to go from me. I wont follow you or try to capture you again.''he said after some moments of silence as Sakura gave him a doubtful glare.
Sakura walked up closely to him and looked into his eyes, their faces only a few inches away, their breaths reflecting upon each other.
''You dont fool me with your subtle plans, Uchiha Sasuke.''she hissed.
He returned the glare to her, calm, as always. He wanted to kiss her again.
''I am being honest, this time. I said I love you and as a man of my word I would only go back to it if I forced you to come back with me or chased you.''he said slowly and surely.
Sakura gave him a painful glare.
''You…you dont know what love means.''she said letting her fingers run on his wet cheek, in irony.
She came closer.
''I loved you so much to the point of turning mad for you. You were an obsession which slowly but surely took my life away from me each passing day that you ignored me and that you put your hatred over me.I loved you more than youd ever deserve to. I did anything to save your skin, no, scratch that, I did everything to save your soul out of darkness but you never listened. Just take a look at your behavior to me and everyone. I dont think an animal like you knows how to love. So dont say you love me. You do simply dont. You only love yourself.'' She said in a sadistic way as she let her fingers slide up and down his cheek, in a cold but mysterious motion.
He grabbed her fingers and pulled them sligtly away from his face, but still holding them in his hand between them.
He looked at her , a slight blinking coming from his cool eyes.
''Then too bad for you that you were always a part of me, and I always loved you even if I didnt know it. Too bad Sakura, that I would do anything for you, and step over anyone to get you. But if loving you means I need to be in pain and let you go, then I prefer it so I can see you happy.''he said as a tear he hadnt realised rolled down his right pale cheek.
Sakura withdrew her hand.
''I didnt know you could put on such a good , I am impressed. Now, what do you want for dinner? Me bending over four ?''she asked and her sarcasm dripped deep in Sasuke's ears.
Sasuke rolled his eyes, as she didnt understand. But what was worse is that he couldnt blame her.
''Please, stop. You mean a lot to me, saying such stuff hurts me.''he said, backing away from her cold attitude.
He had become fully open and emotional with her now but he didnt manage to care cause somehow he felt like this would be the last time he would see her.
''So uncommon of you to be so shy.''she said.
''Look, I am sorry for all the pain I put you through but I wish you would let me help you, cause this is the only thing I want right now.''he said, softening up.
''Like you let me help you?''she said sarcastically.
''Seems that eventually you did, or I wouldnt be here now telling you how much I love you.''he whispered serious.
''Sorry, this time if you want to fuck, you have to pay me with money instead of loving shit and bubbles.''she said winking ironocally at him.
Before he could realise it his hand rose and slapped her on her left cheek, making her face turn away in his move.
''Shut up.''he said, in his usual commanding order but his voice gave out something different, like he was ready to break.
Sakura looked slowly back at him and she couldnt realise or control why but tears started forming again on her eyes and they rolled down her cheeks, with her starting all over sobbing.
Sasuke looked at her, regretting his move and he made to touch her but she slapped his hands in anger away.
He somehow made it to hug her tight in his arms, as she was crying.
'''Forgive me, Sakura-chan.''he kept muttering with his face buried in her pink sweet scented hair.
She gave up being hostile to him, and only pushed him weakly away, as Sasuke wasnt too well either and slowly let himself slide down on his knees and hug her, his head on her stomach, as silent tears stained his cold was standing now up against the wall, with her back on it and a crying Sasuke on her legs.
He kept muttering to her to forgive him, but Sakura felt so strange watching him break and finally let his pain and tears out that she almost started doubting whether he was lying about his love for her or not anymore.
She couldnt take this, so she gently pushed him away from her legs and walked out of the cave, hiding her face in her tired arms.
Sasuke stayed still, supporting himself on the wall now.
What did his life matter if he had lost the only think that gave flavor to it?
They stayed for some moments, both still and silent, Sakura drying her cheeks and Sasuke letting his own run down.
Sakura sat on the snow folding her knees. She didnt know why but she suddenly fell that Sasuke was being honest around his feelings for her.
Her pride though wouldnt let her admit it. He had made her go through so many shit, to just give into him like that again.\
Her glare on the snow, she heard his steps behind her as he stood on the entrance, looking at her dizzy.
''So…what was your wish, Sasuke-kun?''she said pronouncing his name in irony as she had remembered the wish that had started the painful journey back into her mind.
Sasuke frowned and arched his back on the wall, now calmer than before and regaining his composure slowly.
''I wished for your wish to come true, whatever that was.''he sighed, sure she wouldnt believe him once more.
Before Sakura could realize it she felt her weak lips forming a faint smile to what he had just said.
''So I guess now you regret making this wish, dont you?hahaha''she said with a tone of bitterness in her voice.
Sasuke remained calm and stoic.
''To be honest?.A part of me does, cause I lost you out of this. But another part of me tells me things are better that way, since if you kept living in lies, your love for me wouldnt be based on what I trully am…to you.''he said as he sighed.
''Well, lets go with part b cause there is no love anymore, so you had nothing to lose in the first place.''she said.
Sasuke felt hurt at her words but kept silent.
''Once you did love me, and I choose to keep that memory of yours in me. Excuse me if this bothers you.''he said slightly ironically.
''Not at all. No need of crying over spilt milk, Sasuke.''she said rolling her eyes.
He went and sat next to her, as Sakura turned and looked at him, curious.
''Oh I will earn your love again, Sakura. Even if that is the last thing I will do.'' he said in a tone that made her freeze.
''Cant take a blow, can you? Always the same selfish and stubborn person. Well good luck with that, cause I am sorry to tell you that you have pretty much fucked up till now,so this is humanly impossible.'' she said enjoying his persistent efforts to make her trust him.
Sasuke smirked at her and his expression hided a hint on it that confused her and put her in thoughts. What was he planning? What was he thinking?
He slowly let his hand rise up on her pink hair and play carefully with it.
She looked at him like he was crazy.
''What are you doing?''she asked.
''Testing the waters.''he said in an honesty that left her mouth open.
And with that he dragged her on him gently and kissed her.
And to that moment, her moment of weakness her old love feelings took over and she just gave in, enjoying the kiss, chewing in her head his words of love as true ones, as their tongues touched and both fell in a passionate embrace.
Sakura was almost to the edge of crying again, a proof she hadnt really got over him and she was ready to give herself out, so she pushed him away and turned her face to the other side, blushing madly.
But it was too late. Sasuke had already caught a glimpse of her expression and the way she had kissed him back, the way she gave in his kiss, the way she fell in his arms, even if it lasted for no more than 5 seconds.
And he smiled, faintly, but it was a genuine smile. Not his old mocking one.
He gently placed his right hand on her chin and turned her face to him, looking at her in the eyes, kindly.
''Thanks.''he whispered as his hand fell back down.
''For what?''a frustrated Sakura replied back.
''For letting me see that not everything is lost.''he said, as she turned her glare away from his.
''Stop being delusional. You caught me off guard and I needed comfort. That is all. Everything else is in your mind.''she said, the bitterness pinning her voice.
He ignored her words. He only hoped she would be able to believe his feelings when some time would have passed.
They were still very close, their shoulders were touching but a wave of awkwardness was poisoning the air.
Sakura looked down, letting her tears fall.
''Damn you, yes , you are right. I guess I am just too weak.''she said as she leaned her head in depression.
Sasuke rubbed his hand against hers.
''No, you are not. I am the one being weak here. Look all my life, always on the chase of power and revenge. And you never quit trying to make me understand. And you have been through many things yourself and never gave up on the true real Sakura. I admire you.''he said and noticed Sakura blushing at his praising words.
''Like you ever took the time to study me, you always ignored me.''she said, trying too hard to not let her hurt voice show due to her pride.
He moved his face closer to hers, his lips touching on her forehead now, as he gently let a small slow kiss on it.
He loved how she was so needy. Must have been that he was in love with her and so he enjoyed everything about her and around her.
''You are always the same annoying.''he said teasing her but he regretted it as soon as she moved slightly away from him.
''But I like it…''he said sighing as he rose his hand on her cheeks and wiped her tears away.
She stayed silent, unwantingly she had started believing on his nice words but she still couldnt forgive him what her had done to Konoha and plus she could never be sure if he did feel for her, since with Sasuke Uchiha you could never be sure enough.
They both stayed silent, till Sakura felt like talking.
''So just you know, Sasuk…''
''Shhhhh..''Sasuke cut her, placing his finger on his lips, nodding her to stay silent.
He had noticed some weird noises coming from the part of the hills before the Light village.
Sakura noticed his expression and searched with her glare for his, following it around to spot what had fired up his attention.
They slowly both got up and Sasuke caught Sakura's hand in his, protectively, ignoring her silent protests, as his heart was now trembling in fear and anxiety on the look out for Orochimaru's spies.
But it couldnt be, since the sounds didnt come from the part of Konoha.
He walked slowly, making silent careful steps in front of him, dragging Sakura cautiously with him, as she gave up nagging about his hand and looked around her in fear.
As it seemed the snow to the part of the Light Village had kind of been removed by the strong wind that blew during the previous night and now the passage was more easy to be walked through.
Sakura thought she heard a familiar noise. A noise only one person she knew could make. She had heard it so many times, that breath, that breath was only of him.
She immediately let go of Sasuke's hand and walked in front of him, not trying to hide her joy.
Behind the snow hills now was descending an orange haired ninja, just about 30 meters away from them and her heart beat in excitement.
She tried to look at the figure better. She could now make out his characteristics even better than before. It was him, it was her always and forever devoted teammate and friend, the eternally immature but in the same time admirable, Naruto.
Sasuke firstly looked stunned at Sakura, not understanding her reaction, then his glare fell at the thin figure getting carefully closer to them.
''Naruto-kun!!''she yelled as she waved her hand to him and ran towards her ninja friend.
Sasuke flinched at the sound of his name, feeling his heart beating faster in the presence of his ex teammate.
He regained his composure and gave him a cold glare, but was secretly relieved that he was still alive.
The two figures, the pink and the orange one soon united into one as the crying girl fell on her friend's arms, who was equally moved but not as showing, and her sobs of relief and happiness mixed with his awkward excited chuckles.