Summary: ha ha, this ones hilarious. Rating will probably maybe change...

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

" Yuffie what do you want?" I asked her through tired eyes. She had a frown on her face, staring at me from across the kitchen table in the corner. She hadn't touched her food and had been staring since I got up.

I had made her favorite waffles but she didn't touch them. Not once.

" What is sex?" I nearly spit my wine out when she said the last word. Her face filled with confusion. " Peter and Lois do sex all the time, and their married. Why don't we?" she was still confused. Damn Cid and his family member status...

" Well, uhh... we don't because we aren't... like Peter and Lois. That's how adults...make babies." my voice was so low on the last part I wasn't sure Yuffie would hear but she did. She was frowning now, some confusion still there.

I nodded to her before walking into the living room. I sighed as she disappeared from view, that was wretched. Horrid, MENACING! What the hell did they teach on Family Guy? I slid into my King chair as Yuffie called it and groaned. I was going to have to have Tifa or Shelke or Shera come over here later and explain those damn things.

" Vinnie, I want to have...sex." I looked to the kitchen and saw Yuffie still frowning. Great, now what do I say? No? No, that would make her sad and a sad Yuffie means a sad Edge. Crying and everything, that would be horrible.

" Why?" I answered back. She walked over to me slowly and sat in my lap. Not a good position for me to tell anyone we can't have sex. And it wasn't helping that she was squirming, her hips.

" Well, I don't know. To see what it's like I guess?" she said thoughtfully. I sighed before leaning back.

" Yuffie...that is not a good reason to want...sex." I told her. She turned around with puppy eyes. I silently cursed myself for being persuaded by her damn eyes. It was a war for Yuffie's dignity and I wasn't sure I was winning. I ground my teeth together as she stared right into my god damn soul.

" Please Vinnie, if we don't like it I promise we don't need Sex anymore." she told me.

" Can't you wait for Tifa to just tell you what it is?" I pleaded. She shook her head furiously. My mind screamed yes but I wasn't going to do this to Yuffie. No, she wasn't young anymore but she seemed so young and innocent.

" Vinnie..." she pleaded back. Her hips still squirming in my lap. If she wasn't so oblivious to what Sex was I'd say she was grinding her hips into me but she has no clue what the hell to do.

I sighed before going over my options. One, either make her sad and wait for Tifa. Two, call the police. Three, shoot myself, or four just do it and get it over with. Her eyes looked like they were filled with sadness, but it wasn't sadness. It was confusion, but her storm gray eyes made everything be so emotional.

" Fine..." I knew I'd burn in hell for this. I knew I'd wake up one day to see me in hell. I was taking away her innocence. I stopped, if she still had it. I continued to walk to my bedroom since Cid goes in her room all the time.

I looked at my Family Guy blankets and rolled my eyes. What was it that made Yuffie love that stupid show so much. I had to admit some parts made me want to roll over and laugh until I died but that was it. I looked back at her and smiled.

She had no idea what to do. A smile was on her face though, happy to see I complied with her.

" Just lay on the bed." Wow, I felt like a dirty OLD man telling her that. And I was a good forty years older than her. She did do it though, I climbed up with her. My eyes clashed with hers, storm gray versus crimson red. This was my ultimate sin, taking Yuffie away.

I kissed her lips which she was surprised. But I was even more surprised when she kissed back. And very good too. Which made me wonder what else she watched besides family guy. We did that until she was out of breath.

" Was that it?" she asked blushing as red as my eyes. I shook my head and moved my hands to her waist, sliding her Stewie Griffin shirt off. She frowned now, puzzled. " We need our clothes off?" she asked. I nodded, she started to take her shorts off when I moved her hands away. She was blushing so red now, I wanted to laugh but I just stared.

Underneath her shirt, was curves. Her breasts bigger than what they looked. Bigger, from when she had her memories. Yuffie would be happy to know she had these. If she could remember she wanted these. I slowly cupped one, telling her I was supposed to do this during sex. I gently bit her ear and she groaned, my mind was filled with so many things. Like get it over with dammit, good job, not even the devil would touch such a sweet angel like that...pervert.

I proceeded to make her nipples hard at my touch. Then I kissed her all the way down to her cleavage. She was still blushing like a tomato and breathing hard.

" You want to stop?" I asked. She shook her head lightly before fisting a hand in my hair. I looked back at her breasts and sucked a nipple into my mouth. She gasped with pleasure, and she had no idea what to do so she shoved her hand down her pants to pleasure. I gently took it out and kissed her hand.

I slid her shorts down and looked at her underwear. I swore I was going to tell Cid to stop buying family guy crap. This was nearly a turn off, a damn baby yelling "Victory is mine" isn't very sexy. Well, neither is me doing this either but I'm this far might as well.

My human hand which now had a glove off slid into her slick panties as I went to her face for another kiss. She groaned in my mouth as my tongue and hand worked her over. I kissed her until I was breathless, and I liked it. Exploring Yuffie's mouth, seeing what I had never even thought about before. Now, I wish I had. She tasted nice, like strawberries and vanilla. Something she usually smelled like, even if she was digging in mud for Atlantis.

I took my shirt off and then slid my pants down. She watched and when I was busy with my clothes she'd sneak a hand in her panties. And each time I'd growl and take it out. Licking her juices off.

I pulled my boxers down and she gasped. I frowned and she lightly touched it as I got in my bed.

" You have a wiener?" she asked. I looked at her and rolled my eyes. That nearly did me in. I knew she had lost her memories but how did she forget that about THAT? I groaned though when she grasped it. She looked at me and I nodded before taking her hand and showing her how to pleasure me.

" Yuffie are you sure you want to..." I trailed off. But she still nodded, still wanting to know what it was. I knew what I was getting her for Christmas though. A damn computer, it was supposed to have information on EVERYTHING on it. So I wouldn't have to do this again. Not that I really minded, but I know in the future I'll regret it.

" Will it hurt?"

" Just in the starting, Yuffie." she squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. I slid her panties off, wanting to just tear them. Putting an end to the small baby. Maybe, saving his mother from death. I smiled at the thought and dipped my head down. Yuffie thrust her hips in the air as I slid my tongue over her.

After Yuffie came, I got on top of her. I kissed her again and she smiled. I parted her and got myself ready. She had her hands clutching my hair, I got in the position I wanted. She kissed my cheek and I smiled.

" VINNIE WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?!" I nearly threw myself from the bed when Cid yelled through MY apartment. I looked at Yuffie to see her terrified.

" Yuffie do not tell Cid about this, and get some clothes on."

" Was that sex? It didn't hurt."

" No, your dad didn't let us finish." I said before putting my boxers on and some silk pants from a drawer. It'd take to long to put my regular pants on. I opened my door furiously and glared at Cid. He had a cigarette lit and was sitting in MY chair.

" Hey Vinnie Valentine, how you's doing?" he asked patting me on the back. I stopped glaring at him now, it would give something away. I shrugged and got awful thoughts. How, my guns were safely put away, so easy for me to get and shoot his blonde head off.

" We were just looking at some stuff..." pussy that is. I got my dirty man jokes out of my head and sighed.

" Well, Reeve and Shelke said they wanted to see you both. Probably about that cure for Yuffie." I frowned. Cure...for Yuffie? But, how did they do it in so little time, one month and a few weeks was not enough time. Especially if it could hurt Yuffie if something went wrong.

" Did they tell you how they did it?"

" Nope, just wanted to see ya both."

" LOOKIE AT ME DAD!" Yuffie came clamping from my room. I frowned, that didn't sound like footsteps...

Yuffie came in with my regular clothes on. My eye twitched as Cid laughed. She had EVERYTHING on. My cloak, bandana, boots, and even my claw. Which I want back now... I sighed before scooting her to get HER clothes on.

" What was she doing in yer room?"

" If I knew I'd tell you..."

" Ah wells, see ya later. Take care of her Vinnie." I nodded before he left. I quickly went to my room and watched Yuffie undress and put her clothes back on with new panties. I got my clothes on and walked with her.

" Vinnie, I want to try sex again."

" Maybe later, Reeve wants us to go see him and Shelke." she jumped with joy. She hadn't seen them in awhile and liked to keep in touch. It was actually a horror to her. And it was kind of sad, she hated not knowing that someone was OK. Or hadn't talked to her in awhile.

We arrived at the WRO headquarters in Edge. I walked straight to Reeve's office. But nearly interrupted him and Shelke when I almost opened the door. I looked in the tiny window to his office to see them...well kissing. Yuffie blushed when she saw, remembering earlier.

I slammed my fist into the door and looked inside. Now, Reeve was on the floor and Shelke in his chair. A grin lightened my face and I walked in.

" Why are you on the floor?" I asked sarcastically. Reeve glared at me and got up.

" We found a way to get Yuffie's memories back." Yuffie was confused but went along with it.

" How?" I asked.

" Well, if we get some of your DNA and mix it with hers...it may bring hers back. The cells of you DNA should make Yuffie's aging stop as well. But don't ask me dammit. I'm not the one who researched it. But it comes with a price." I was pretty sure I was going to kill Reeve. And maybe tie Shelke to a tree. And leave her there. Mix our DNA? Jesus, sounds like X men or something.

" What is the price?"

" Well, she'll obviously gain some stuff you have. Enhanced senses...Immortality." Shelke said the last part quietly through her teeth.

" No."

" It is the only way she'll-"

" No."

" Vincent, do you want the old Yuffie back?"

" Yes, but Yuffie should not have to suffer that like me."

" Vincent, be rational."

" Fine...no."

" YES!" I looked back to see Yuffie bouncing up and down. " Vinnie, I'll be able to have super powers. I WANT super powers. Do whatever you have to do Uncle Reeve!" she shouted. I glared at her before sighing.

" Reeve, don't you know what this could do to Yuffie? What if she doesn't want that when her memories return?"

" We won't know unless we do it."

" no...but wouldn't you rather see Yuffie like this than brooding."

" Says you." Shelke coughed out. I glared at her menacingly and she grinned.

" Vincent, just think about it. Yuffie, always knew how to make the best of things, even when they were bad. Like when you went missing, she didn't give up." after that I left with the slam of the door. And when I rounded the corner I walked back to his office before imitating Yuffie and slamming it shut again.

When we arrived back at the apartment I went to my room. Yuffie followed, I was lost right now. Yes, the old Yuffie was great but would she want Immortality? Would she want to spend an eternity on this planet. She deserved better than this. And how the hell would she live. Yuffie was always bright and happy. But what if she got tired of eternal life. Not to mention she'd miss her friends a lot.

Yuffie sat on the bed, I looked at her. And I knew she was going to ask again. But now, I wanted to. I didn't know why, I shouldn't want to. It was bad, but looking now, if we restored her memories she'd lose these ones. And not remember it, and then she'd be angry because she can't grow old. Like she really was going to anyways but that was beside the point.

" Vinnie, I want to do sex. Or try again." I nodded before pushing her onto the bed. And I kissed her furiously before doing what she wanted.