Life without a family was hard.
I wanted nothing more than to grow old with little rascals all around me, begging me for my glorious tales of adventuring. Not that I had done any as of yet, but maybe I could if I became a full Templar! I was somewhere around twelve or fifteen and I finally had a goal. I surprised those old hags when I aced all my written tests with flying colors. I had never been stupid, just completely unmotivated.
The Revered Mother had looked suspiciously triumphant when she announced that I would be placed in more advanced lessons in the coming years. I realized then that I was a sort of prize there; a bastard son of the king who became a Templar was a very nice image for royalty and the Chantry in terms of possible donations. Knowing this actually made me admire her a bit more; she was a prickly woman, but brilliant and more than a little devious.
I figured out then, however, that she wouldn't let me out of her sight. I would live in the monastery or in the Circle tower until I died. I would never have a single adventure outside of stone walls in my life.
I was trapped. My goal had betrayed me; my theoretical stupidity had been my one possible savior. If I had failed the Templar training over and over again, eventually they would've had to release me, I supposed. I languished in self-doubt for years and although the looks from giggling girls were no longer scornful but slyly admiring, I ignored them all. They would only trap me behind these walls even further.
When Duncan came and watched the Tournament, I felt something within my heart cry out with pure desire. When the grizzled – and frankly, quite intimidating – Grey Warden looked at me, dark piercing gaze resting on my face and posture, I felt like I needed to prove myself. To show him that there were better fighters (for certain, as I preferred daydreams and debate to sparring with the egotistical maniacs that made up the other Templar recruits most of the time) but there was no one with more spirit here than I. Not to mention that Duncan looked like the perfect Hero for my Sidekickery. The man practically shouted, "I am a gruff man who requires an engaging, humorous foil. Inquire within for details."
I felt my nerves buzz throughout my entire body as I sparred against the other champions. I did not win all of the fights; I definitely didn't beat the top recruits. But I showed off the one thing I knew I could do: never give up. I mocked and I taunted and I laughed. I bowed mockingly to those who deserved it or respectfully to the same. I let everything I was shine through in those fights, win or lose.
All of the candidates stood together, breathless from our matches and from excitement, as we waited for Duncan's choice. As he stood before me, as he looked into my eyes, I knew I had done it. I was a failure to so many people, but to this man…I was someone to be chosen out of a crowd. The Revered Mother hissed like a serpent woken from its slumber, but Duncan didn't back down.
Proving that test of Spirit to Duncan felt like the best day I had ever had in my life, up to that point. It could only get better from here, I decided.