He studied his patient's involuntary movements and watched as his blood boiled at the mere mention of the man his partner was currently dating. It was clear to him that any man Olivia Benson allowed in her company would get the same icy treatment even if he was the model of a perfect man.
And there was only one reason for this.
"You seem to not favor any of the men in your partner's life besides yourself," Dr. Taylor implied with a raise of a graying eyebrow. "The only man who is truly worthy of her is you."
"I once told Olivia that I'm the longest relationship she has ever had with a man," Elliot said. "I don't know why she has stuck around all these years to deal with my sorry ass but she has."
"Do you think she's happy in this environment?" Dr. Taylor asked. "The job she shares with you and the impact it has on her social life."
"I don't know," Elliot shrugged. "Even if she wanted to tell me, we're not exactly big on talking about our feelings."
"I'm asking you, Detective Stabler," Dr. Taylor pointed at him with the capped end of his pen. "Not what she might or might not have told you on her part."
"I've always wanted Olivia to be happy," Elliot said firmly. "That will never change, but I can see that this endless job has left her practically in pieces more than once and she's had to cancel quite a few dates because she won't give up in her pursuit of justice. She has sacrificed far too much and now all she has is me and the job which bothers her because it's not the life she wanted."
"What do you think about that?"
"She deserves so much better than what she's been given," Elliot said quietly with soft eyes focused on the floor.
Dr. Taylor was silent for a few moments. He was contemplating Elliot's last comments and how to respond; they were words he had tried to finagle out of his patient since their session had begun but the look on Elliot's face told him it wasn't an easy declaration for him to make. The way his eyes instantly softened the hard planes of his normally stern face and the way they avoided the pair of eyes staring back at him. It only reaffirmed his belief that Elliot felt guilty about his relationship with Olivia and felt he was inadequate in her presence.
The doctor considered his words carefully. "Would you be willing to fill that void?"
Elliot's head lifted slowly from its resting place between his hands. "I don't understand what you mean."
"You said that she deserves much better than what she has been given," Dr. Taylor replied. "I'm asking you if you would like to be the person that makes that happen."
Elliot's eyebrows dipped and he sat almost rigid in the chair. He had gone over this question numerous times in his mind but now he was faced with the answer that Dr. Taylor was patiently waiting for. "I don't know how to be what she deserves."
"And why is that?"
"I have tried and failed so many times to prove to her that I am what she deserves but I always end up making a fool out of myself and pushing her away. I have hurt her in so many ways that I'm surprised she even cares enough to puts up with me," Elliot said in a frustrated tone. "She deserves someone who will be everything to her and it's not me."
"Do you really believe that?" Dr. Taylor asked with a smirk. "You seem very certain that you are not the man that she truly cares about."
"I know she cares about me," Elliot replied with a soft smile. "But Porter is the one that makes her happy. Although I hate his guts and I don't think he deserves her, he puts a smile on her face which is not something I can say for myself as of late."
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe she turns to other men because she feels you are not within her reach?"
"She knows where to find me if she needs me," Elliot said harshly. "It's up to her whether or not she wants to seek me out."
"You misunderstand me, Detective Stabler. You were married for twenty years to a woman you convinced yourself and your partner you were irrevocably in love with which was turns out not to be the case at all. You don't let your partner see how you truly feel about the men she dates because you barely blink an eye when you're around her for fear of letting on to your true feelings. You find out seemingly coincidentally that your partner is dating a man you despise. You're partners and the rule book states that you cannot fraternize with each other. But this could be easily fixed if you switch partners; but you won't do it because you're a chicken and won't tell her that your feelings go beyond that of a partner because you're afraid of losing her, and she won't do it because she has to prove to you that her first instinct isn't always just to take off when things get tough and she doesn't want to lose you either," Dr. Taylor stated with a laugh. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that closing the distance would be the solution to this whirlwind of a partnership."
Elliot breathed deeply and tapped his deft fingers against his chin. "So basically what you're saying is that Olivia is secretly in love with me and always has been but just never told me. She pushed me away like I pushed her away and dated all those other guys in order to get me out of her head because she knew I wasn't available and that we could never have a relationship that was simply a one night stand becase we mean too much to each other?"
Dr. Taylor's face lit up as a bright grin stretched from ear to ear. "Exactly."
"For someone who hates psychology with such a passion, I guess I'm not half bad," Elliot mumbled into the palm of his hand. "If this is true, which I'm not saying it is, but if this is really the way she feels, then why didn't I see it before now? I consider myself to be a pretty perceptive person especially when it comes to my partner and I just overlooked everything?"
"It was all there, Detective Stabler," Dr. Taylor said. "From the way she locks eyes with you which we here at this clinic, when talking about unrequited lovers, like to refer to as eye sex to her falling prey to other men because of her fear of falling for you and losing the only person she has left in her life. From her envy of your wife because she thought you were in love with her to running away when things get sticky because she can't bear to have you cause her pain. From her choosing you over the job to her keeping secrets from you. It was all done out of the love in which you both share."
"I never said that I was in love with her."
"You didn't have to say anything," Dr. Taylor smirked. "What you do not give away with words you convey using other means even if you do not realize it. This woman means far more to you than you let on and it is time you come to terms with how this affects the way in which you do your job."
"What does my relationship with Olivia have to do with my fuck ups at work?"
"Sexual frustration is a mighty powerful entity. By sheer observation I can see that you have enough pent up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern town which, speaking as a man myself, can really cloud your judgement. Without your ability to remain levelheaded in situations that require you to be focused, cases do not get solved and even if they do, they are done so in a half assed way with plenty of mishaps. That isn't to say that it is the main cause, but it accounts for the majority of your problems at work. And now that she is dating someone you severely dislike only makes matters worse. Perhaps it might be best to strip you of your gun before you do something rash?"
"She would kick my ass if I ever tried to lay a hand on her."
"Olivia Benson is more than just a pretty face to you?"
Elliot smiled warmly. "You have no idea."
Dr. Taylor sighed heavily and closed the file that rested on his lap. "Well, we have certainly made quite a bit of progress for today. It seems as though we cannot solve all of the problems of the world one day, but there is always next time for us to make an attempt. The same time tomorrow satisfy you?"
"Absolutely," Elliot quickly got up from his seat and opened the office door. "Have a good day."
As Detective Stabler left, Dr. Taylor pondered the events of the hectic but promising day. Their conversation in its entirety had made him immensely curious. The woman that his patient spoke of was held in such high regard that Dr. Taylor was anxious to see exactly why Elliot Stabler was so drawn to Olivia Benson. He would never be able to guide Detective Stabler in the right direction unless he was able to directly observe the partner that had landed him in these sessions. He laughed quietly to himself as the thought struck him.
It seemed that he had retired from the business of unwanted interference but this was an opportunity he was in no position to pass up. He was known for being a genuis but notorious for being a meddling prankster. He had a trick hiding up his clever sleeve and this time his target were two very unaware lovebirds.